Going Nowhere in Glen Nevis

A flying visit to Glen Nevis, testing out my single day trip theory. It worked fine time-wise: I had a reasonable and non-Alpine start (although the weather had some Alpine potential....snow storms at Crianlarich, but glorious from Glen Coe onwards....and then exactly the reverse on the way back), climbed on 3 different buttresses across the Spectrum of Polldubh (Road > Scimitar > Nameless), recced a few other buttresses, was back in the car at 7 and back to Glasgow in daylight. Thus one can easily fit in plenty of climbing....or plenty of dicking around being a punter, if one is so inclined.

I am NOT that way inclined but it is the situation I find myself in. I have strong and genuine desires to push myself on some challenging and exciting routes, and once again I feel a world away from the physical and mental state to do so. This time, despite a winter building up finger strength, a reasonable transition into stamina training, plenty of trad mileage recently, a good top-up session purely for finger stamina this week, and a relaxing active rest Friday, I failed utterly on having enough finger stamina to do an easy but bold route. I lowered off (skyhooks!) and was disappointed not with failing to do the route, but just being so physically weak and pumped.

On the plus side, I did one pleasant warm-up route, and one very good steady route on Nameless (Diode, a brilliant hidden classic), usefully recced some other routes, and now have the opportunity to ponder on why I am climbing so mediocrely and what I can do about it. What springs to mind is:

1. Relative lack of climbing specific training: Although I have been gymming and walling okay, I have been taking it a bit easy due to my elbow, and think I have lost some pure climbing strength/endurance/stamina.
...Last week's TCA finger circuit session felt okay on my elbow and seemed to be a good training balance, so I will do more of that, more regularly, to keep my fingers strong whilst hopefully avoiding overtaxing my elbow.

2. Reduction of Citalopram dose and possible increase in anxiety: Not sure if this is a factor but it could well be affecting my confidence overall.
...I will keep up with the falling practise down the wall, and also maybe outside IF I fail on a safe route I can practise jumping off onto gear (not skyhooks!). Regular climbing mileage might help too.

3. Other distractions: Maybe!
...Am working on sorting those out, and in the meantime, easing the pressure on myself to progress and keeping my hand it should set up a good basis for pushing myself later on.

I think in general getting some mileage in should be pretty useful and pleasurable at the moment, and luckily there are still plenty of places for me to explore and enjoy - Reiff, Skye, Sheigra area, even back to Glen Nevis and Ardnamurchan - without restricting myself to major challenge inspirations. So that might be the best plan for now, while keeping aware of when I feel ready to push a bit harder.

Weak in Wester Ross

First things first: The new blogspot site / post composition is utterly fucking rubbish. Very user-unfriendly, obscure menus, normal post options made inconvenient, switching between compose mode and HTML mode is broken (randomly adds loads of line breaks in some cases), compose mode with photos produces a load of bloated HTML that takes ages to edit. Just like Metoffice's truly appalling disaster of a new "site" and Facebook's ridiculously bad Turdline farce, this is another site with a redesign specifically to make things harder and annoying for users. Take note Blogspot - you normally provide a good service, but you fucked up this time. Please stop it.


Anyway this is a blog mostly about climbing (and occasionally trying to educate people with properly good dance / metal music), and I did some climbing recently. 2 days in glorious sunshine at Loch Tollaidh and Diabeg. Always a pleasure to visit those areas, even if Diabeg is a bit of a polished trade crag - which I nimbly avoided by doing some lesser-known classics. Unfortunately I also nimbly avoided any semblence of progression or challenge or getting on and putting some effort into things. I just didn't have any OOOMPH. There might be a few reasons: tired from early start and long drive, tired from rubbish nights sleep and general worries, lack of power training due to elbow, general weakness due to elbow, lack of warming up on suitably ooomphy routes. But really there was also a tedious lack of determination and ooomphing the fuck up. At the end of the day I had plenty of fun and it was a NICE weekend (the highlight being Phil's choice of an exceptionally good local game terrine for a picnic lunch), but I felt I missed out on giving more effort to the climbing and reaping the rewards.

As a slight aside, I popped out locally recently with new local Jade and fleetingly visiting old skool gnarler Duncan (who has been climbing for nearly as long as I've been alive, maybe there is hope for me yet!). Limited to local, we cruised to Craigmore and took advantage of the fresh breeze brushing through the shrouding trees. Just a couple of routes each, but it was an interesting experience on Spinal Wall - I had scrubbed the breaks on this a few years ago and never got back to lead it. However now someone has thoroughly cleaned it, in a "wirebrushing the entire sheet of rock" sort of way. Fair enough as it should get a lot more attention and is possibly the most substantial lead up to and including it's grade at the crag. I had vague recollections of lots of little cam and finger breaks....obviously too vague as they all seemed to be thin, flared, and rounded!! Thus requiring some care with the cams and some tenacity with the fingers.

In other news my elbow is still properly fucking tweaked. I am trying to maintain a good balance of climbing and resting and theraputic exercises, although annoyingly taping across the injury site seems to be mashing up the other side of my arm with the tape cutting in :S. The weekend away was okay, the cold cranking at Craigmore was much less okay. Ugggg.



Spinal Wall gurn


Spinal Wall grunt


Flake Crack

Desired Days...

North West trips

Lewis - 6 days
Dalbeg - 1 day
Mangestra - 1 day
Painted Wall - 1 day
Other areas - 3 days

Skye - 5 days
Neist - 2 days
Rubha Hunish - 1 day
Elgol - 1 day
Staffin Slip - 1 day

Wester Ross - 5 days
Gruinard - 1 day
Tollie Crag - 1 day
Diabeg - 1 day
Tollaidh/Stone Valley - 1 day
Reiff - 1 day

Caithness - 1 day
Sarclett/Mid-Clyth - 1 day

Glen Nevis - 3 days
Wave Buttress/Meadow - 1 day
High Crag - 1 day
Road/Scimitar - 1 day

Creag Dubh - 2 days
Great Wall - 1 day
Barrier Wall / Waterfall - 1 day

TOTAL: 22 days (in an entire spring/summer/autumn)

Other trips:

Other venues - 3 days
Cummingston - 1 day
Rosehearty - 1 day
Pass Of Ballater - 1 day

Aberdeen area - 6 days
Whisky Cliff - 1 day
Berrymuir - 1 day
Johnsheugh - 1 day
Floor's Craig - 1 day
Red Tower - 1 day
Other venues - 1 day

Local - 4 days
Glen Lednock - 2 days
Glen Croe - 1 day
Roslin Glen - 1 day

TOTAL: 13 days (when it's raining in the North West)

...

35 days...

...

Ten Tonne Terrible.

Weight is a big issue for me at the moment. Currently (and for the last couple of years) I weigh about 12¼ stone. Back in 2006/07, at my healthiest and most active, when I was climbing very regularly and pushing myself, I weighed about 10½ - 10¾ stone. So I've put on at least a stone and a half. For a 5'8" midget this is A LOT. Is there any need to explain why this is such a big issue for a passionate and dedicated climber?? I thought not. What is more useful to explain is why I am in this state, and what, if anything, I can do to get out of it. There are several possible reasons why I might have put on so much weight, but which ones are the real reasons??

Age:
Some people have said, in a semi-resigned and slightly teeth-sucking way, "Well that's what it's like getting old". I don't really see any evidence or reasoning for this in my case, and since there are extremely clear reasons for my weight gain that exactly coincide with when it started, while "getting old" has no specific coincidence nor abruptness of change in the last few years rather than the previous few, I am certain it is not a factor.

Diet:
Several people have speculated, seriously or otherwise, that my "Glasgow diet" is the cause of my weight gain. The truth is quite simply that my diet has improved since I moved to Glasgow, because I have been more careful with it - I eat less unhealthy foods and less wildly varying portions than before.
E.g.:
Sheffield - often sausages and pastries for breakfast;
Glasgow - usually have cereal and/or toast.
Sheffield - used to buy packs of mini-chocolates for snacks;
Glasgow - usually buy packs of fruit and nuts.
Sheffield - would sometimes have Scotch Eggs and pork pies;
Glasgow - never eat them.
Sheffield - would often have creamy puddings / treats;
Glasgow - usually bio-yoghurt if at all.
Sheffield - used to eat badly/sporadically in the day and have huge evening meal;
Glasgow - eat more regularly and try to reduce meal sizes.
Sheffield - would have starter/main/rice/bread for curry, and attempt to eat them all;
Glasgow - only have 2/3 of the previous and never stuff myself for the sake of it.
There are a few exceptions: I tend to have takeaways slightly more often, albeit with smaller sizes, I sometimes have a Snickers bar as a daytime snack, and I often have diet soft drinks instead of fruit juice and fizzy water. BUT the improvements I've made far outweigh those. Diet is not a factor, if it was I would have LOST weight in Glasgow.

Medication:
I have been on Citalopram since late 2009, just after my DVTs. This is anecdotally known (and possibly clinically proven) to affect weight (usually weight gain) by affecting metabolism. The period of weight gain exactly coincides with the period of being this medication. Furthermore, even before I was aware of this as a possible cause, I was aware of a change in my metabolism as my body temperature (previously running fairly warm) had been fluctuating wildy, from hot and sweaty in bed to often surprisingly cold outside (especially my hands - not affected by DVTs). Although not proven, my gut instinct this is definitely a main factor.

Inability to exercise:
My ability to do simple calorie-burning, weight-reducing CV exercise has been HUGELY reduced by having DVTs. Back in 2008 when I had my elbow injury, I wasn't out climbing much and started putting on some weight. I started running, which was hard at first, but I improved well, used the simplicity of going out for a run to get regular exercise and lost weight. I simply cannot do that any more. With sealed iliac and pelvic veins, when I run or walk uphill, my legs cannot return the de-oxygenated blood quickly enough through the adjacent superficial veins, my heart cannot pump around blood that isn't there, my lungs can't supply oxygen to a system that isn't moving, and I quickly grind to an exhausted halt. This is an absolute mechanical limit, irrespective of previous or current fitness. I tested myself once, and while previously I could comfortably do a 40 minute road run, my current absolute maximum is 10½ minutes. This similar applies to walking uphill (simple exercise, usually as part of a climbing day out). I estimate I am working at 20-25% of my previous leg fitness. Imagine going for a 4 mile run around Burbage and only being able to do 1 mile as the utterly exhausting limit. Or imagine walking up to Stanage Plantation and having to rest just after the plantation trees otherwise you would collapse. That is exactly what it is like. Then imagine facing that for the rest of your lift, with no possible surgical or medical intervention, and almost certainly no improvement ever. This makes it EXTREMELY hard to do enough CV exercise to reduce weight, and it is definitely a main factor, probably THE main factor.

Less regular climbing:
Although I cannot do the most simple and beneficial CV exercises, I have found that the regular active climber's lifestyle has definitely caused periods of minor weight loss during the last few years. In particular, 12 days in Sweden, even with their minimal walk-ins, had me at the healthiest and lightest I was all last year. I think this is partly due to lots of climbing but partly due to the general level of activity on a full day out climbing. Unfortunately in Scotland this regularity has proved hard to find, mainly due to the often consistently wet weather that prevents it (the best areas for regular climbing are in the wet West, and there is too little local climbing for regular mileage). Particularly given how bad 2011 was, this is definitely a factor. Actually, thinking back to 2008 and how the temporary cessation of climbing increased my weight then, it too is a main factor.

Less active scene around me:
Related to both of the above, the climbing scene around Sheffield and the Peak District is strong and diverse (if curiously reluctant to escape the Peak itself) and I usually had enough people to climb with and friends to train with and even do fitness stuff with, which was of great benefit to keeping me going and keeping me motivated. In Glasgow the climbing scene is insular and limited and it's been a struggle to find friend people to fit in with. Eventually I have found a few people to regularly climb and train with, but not so many of them, and no-one to do fitness stuff with. When I do have people encouraging me and inviting me out and sharing mutual syke, I know it helps me keep active (beyond just having people to do routes with), so this is definitely a factor.

So:

Age, Diet - NOT factors.
Inability to exercise - The MAIN factor.
Medication, Less regular climbing - Other MAIN factors.
Less active scene - Additional factor.

Next time: What I can and am doing about this. Or trying to.

Ardvorlich Action.

Albeit action of an easy pottering kind - all I'm suited for at the moment, and the right path of action to work back to some sort of climbing confidence.


Ardvorlich is a sweet wee crag indeed. Two adjacent sheer slabs formed from a hummock that pleasingly shelters them from the nearby road, thus combining easy access with surprising tranquility. I've been inspired to go for a few years, ever since seeing a good cragshot from Magpie (back when she still joined in with climbing), and got there the other day. A brace of sport F6a/+s provided the optimum low level to appease my slothful spirit, and the delicately crinkled schist provided a good reawakening of rock sense after a winter that has perhaps been overly-focused on TCA training. I left a few routes to go back for (albeit ones that will need trad gear or pre-placed slings to bypass the sporadic but utterly ludicrous death bolting that spoils a couple of routes).


Actually I think there is no "perhaps" about over-training. My elbows are tweaky again, this time particularly the right one. I haven't been as worried as I should be about this, and am now just about realising the potential for catastrophic suckage this could be entail. Last time it ruined my 2008 summer, and this time, although I have recently upped my training and general levels of activity, my climbing and fitness are even more fragile. The one thing I have in my favour is prior knowledge of how to deal with this, and have already started massaging, taping, and eccentric wrist curls. Time to incorporate icing, and hope that an increasing focus on routes, exploration, and fitness training will avoid the worst of injury.

Lacklustre at Ley, Bollox at Barnton, Lazy at Laggan.

Managed to get 3 days out recently...

Ley Quarry: Supposed sun-trap. Windy. Bloody cold. Did a few easier routes. They were nice enough and fairly decent mileage. Dropped one of my shoes in the pool, it's still damp. Tried slightly tricker routes, stopped by ridiculously reaches (F6b+ that is F7a if you can't reach the hold) and cold, sore fingers.

Barnton Quarry: Grim location even by my standards. Almost "so bad it's good" but not quite. The small bits of climbable rock are actually okay. If you literally wore blinkers it could be appealing. We did a couple of trad routes. Hanging around doing trad felt tiring. And committing. Tried another route and pulled a hold off. Possibly dodgy rock rather than shockwaves emenating out from my gigantic wobbling gut.

Laggan Boulders: With the M80 running smooth it's under 2 hours from Glasgow. Very windy, but curiously warm for bouldering. Good lines up there and plenty of potential. Did some easy problems. Tried a harder problem. Felt crap and tired. Decided to sack it off and go to the other boulders. Then got blocked in and in some almighty trouble with the farmer for driving up the track without permission. Eventually somehow negotiated an escape, drove to the other boulders, met some cows, and just couldn't be fucked to walk-in.


I've felt a long way away from where I want to be in my spirit and my climbing this week. Just need to weather it out I think.

Gibbage 6.

The final day in a tidying up loose ends and finishing stuff off sort of way. The forecast was for cloud, it was glorious again, despite storm clouds over the hills providing a scenic backdrop. I still felt like utter shit with my gayflu. Bored of that. But there was plenty to get on with. We "warmed up" sliding off heinous micro-slabs: F6c and F7b that were more like that in British tech grades. The rock was cool but the sun was warm and needless to say our toll in skin and rubber was not repaid.

Thence it was on to the shady side, requiring a retreat and re-stomp to the opposite sector of the hillside. I'm noticing that after several days doing short uphill walk-ins and plenty of other exercise, my legs are still completely and utterly fucked and as usual I feel no progress in fitness at all. Cocktwats. Anyway the shady sector was shady although kinda sweaty. Managed a couple of routes including a pretty challenging one. Finally it was over to a different sandstone crag, El Bujeo, for a breezy and scenic evening, and a few more good and varied routes and a slightly frustrating "slip-off-the-first" move attempt of a stiffer proposition. A pretty good day despite feeling rougher than an East End Glaswegian's face.

This brings things to 34 routes I think. Not bad for a short week :). Plenty of fun on the sandstone, a few good challenges tackled (better than I thought!) and a few near misses to learn from. Tomorrow we fly back to dismal Scotland where I plan to hibernate for a while...


Africa in the morning.

Horses in the afternoon.

Gibraltar in the evening.

Gibbage 4.

Today was a semi-rest day. Rest day = bollox day. Well this one was. Just how it went really. Drove back to San Bartolo to collect my missing downie (doh!). Then back in the opposite direction, initially the plan was to burn up the peage back to Mijas for a small bit of convenience ticking on limestone pockets whilst letting the fingertips relax a bit. But we decided to explore inland....to just explore. A bit of mountain scenery, a bit of sunshine, a bit of limestone. A fucking LOT of endless hairpin mountain roads, the real thrill coming when the petrol light came on with 30km to go till the next town and the hairpins kept going on and on. By a combination of pootling uphill in 5th and freewheeling round blind bends, we made it to the crag and collapsed into much needed lunch.

A few routes were a suitable agenda for the evening, but by the time I warmed up badly and mooched around, I managed to fail on my main desired route of the day. Sure bad bolting was the main issue but even without that I was struggling a bit. Okay it's supposed to be a rest day but even rest days can still have climbing radness, whether it's easy adventures or diverse exploration or just a couple of tricky routes in a generally chilled out day. The 5 hours of driving was anything but chilled out though, so tomorrow it's less miles and more Mosaico ;).

Load of cock.

Tris gave this horse a pear, and it gave us an enthusiastic blast of pear breath after it had chorfled it down.

Random Bollox.

Not much has been happening recently.

There was a brief period of great weather which I completely missed because I was busy with stuff. Suckage.

I had a good session at Ratho where I did okay despite not having done routes for ages - although I was demoralised that I'm now such a hideous bloater I struggled to fit into my indoor harness :(.

I had a good session at TCA where I polished off several good and mis-graded problems on the comp wall. Curiously my progress over the previous session was more due to technique rather than strength, but I found I was able to keep cranking over a long-ish session, which was nice :).

I then had most of a week off climbing and exercise. Terrible. I can't afford to do that AT ALL. Came back to a session at the revamped and average-but-considerably-less-terrible-than-before GCC, and was weak, tired, and cross. Gym the next day helped a bit. I HAVE to keep moving.

Thankfully there is some movement planned: On Saturday morning Tris and I are flying to Malaga to go climbing at San Bartolo, funky looking sandstone near Gibraltar. Not a major destination but it looks nice for a few days and I really need to get away!! I need inspiration, activity, climbing mileage, and hopefully some dry fucking weather!! So, yay.

Oh and I got a cool new breakage drum'n'bass CD recently:



Nice variety of chopped up beats on this. I wasn't so taken at first, but have been playing it a lot. Ruff!

Annus Demi-Horribilis.

Or should that be Anus Demi-Horribilis??

This year has been a year of two halves for me:

Part 1:

Malta - great
Later winter bouldering at Ruthven Boulder, Loch Sloy, Clashfarquar etc - very nice and satisfying
Pedriza - great
Long weekend in Mull - superb, best Scottish trip all year
Long weekend in Gairloch - very good
Long weekends in Caithness and Stranraer - good
Sweden - super-awesome
Brief trip to Creag Dubh and Camel - good
Generally maintaining an enjoyable E3 standard every trip out - pleasing
Losing a few pounds in Sweden - reassuring

Part 2:

Terrible weather all summer - suckage
No trips to Lewis / Skye / Ardnamurchan / Glen Nevis - suckage
No Indian Summer respite - suckage
A couple of decent trips to Aberdeen and local crags - pretty good
2 weeks of dry weather in November - some respite for bouldering
Increasing weight gain - very demoralising
Decreasing fitness - very demoralising
TCA opening - great training and a useful mercy
Exploring the County bouldering - good
Hard work changing medication to reduce weight gain - just plain hard
Persistent man-flu / throat/chest infection - suckage

It's pretty simple:
Good weather and trips away = good health and good spirits = right.
Terrible weather and less climbing = bad health and bad spirits = wrong.

Incidentally, my other interests have been pretty fun this year - have painted some cool figures, listened to some great drum'n'bass / hardcore / metal, and played a lot of good PC games - all of which is nice and passes the time during the incessant rain / rest days, but as fun as all those things are, they play supporting roles, not the main performance.

I've realised that the regular climbing lifestyle is not just important to me as it's the biggest inspiration to me, it's essential to me as an active lifestyle that balances out my mental and physical health issues. I am who I am and that is what's right for me.

Walking Corpse.

^^^ this has been me in the last few days. The gayflu has been especially gay and seasoned with lashings of a mild throat infection (feeling a bit like the Brutal Truth vocalist sounds) for the optimum blend of crappness. I've turned down wall sessions and good forecasts in the County and have been set back a good week in general logistic progress, so I feel like a walking corpse mentally too, BLUURRRGGGGHHHHH. Hopefully I'm getting over the worst and will be able to get back into things with renewed energy soon.

Fight The Power

I can't fight the power of the weather. As predicted it crapped out spectacularly. Glasgow escaped the worst of the storms but roadside floods are becoming the norm not the exception. Needless to say I've been reduced to training at the admittedly inspiring (if frustrating in my current state) Climbing Academy, and trying to find a balance between pushing myself to slow the decline into weakness, and not injuring myself trying to haul my corpulent carcass in an upwards - or sideways - direction.

I can't fight the power of the screwy chemicals fizzing around in my mind. I've been changing some medications to try to stop the incessant weight gain I've had in recent years (no, not the Glasgow diet, as nice a deep-fried pizza is I haven't had it for months), and the short term side-effects are harsh. Anger, agitation, anxiety are currently characterising my life and inhibiting many activities - and making me feel shit about that inhibition, woohoo, stupid brain! I did have some respite over the weekend, clearing my mind with some relentless hardcore beats in the Industrial Strength Records 20th Anniversary room at Fantazia at the Arches. Dancing to gabber is waaay more productive than trying to run / walk uphill, so evidentally I need to get clubbing more. Both Youtube vids are highlights of the night :).

I can't fight the power of the stupid fucking gayflu cold I've just picked up. Although I guess I might as well get it out of the way at the moment.

Hopefully when the gayflu fucks right off and chemicals settle and the training works enough to at least achieve an equilibrium of fatness and weakness, I'll be able to get on with following some inspiration and rad trips out and about won't just become...

Coigach Clambering.

So it is now November. The days are a lot shorter, climbing time is limited, the temperatures are cold and options restricted. I'm busier and my time is limited and I've given up on getting up North and getting more trad done. So what the fuck does the weather do?? Get totally awesome in the North West. A whole fucking summer waiting for half-decent half-dryness, and now it's pretty much past the point of pointless, there's several days of sunshine up there.

FUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUCCCKK!!!

Still as mocking as this respite is, it is respite nonetheless and thus must be as vigorously seized as one would seize a passing cat who is hoping to sneak by without getting pounced on and having it's tummy mercilessly rubbed and nuzzled. Given the time of year it was mostly seized and sandwiched between bouldering pads. Just like the passing cat should be...

The pre-match friendly was at the Inchbae Erratics. These are indeed erratic but then again isn't most of Scottish bouldering. This area had the usual pre-requisites of absent approach times and a useless map, but also curiously accurate grades and definitely deserved star ratings. The erratics are scattered over an unerratically and consistently boggy plateau, and although spread out, the problems are really rather good - strong lines and good moves. It could do with more development and is a good stopping off point en-route to Ullapool.


Inchbae!
The main game took place firstly at Reiff In The Woods. It was supposed to be at Reiff By The Sea but this was hampered by that same sea leaving landing pools and a slight lingering damp. There were hardy souls climbing trad there, which was nice to see. RITW is a classy little spot - roadside but with stunning views, sheltered in trees yet exposed to sun and breeze, jumbled together but with plenty of strong lines. Indeed the lines were stronger than I was!! We made little headway on anything challenging until trying the cool "spot from sitting in the car" thin wall/arete. After a few goes we were both close and it was almost in the bag - and after a few goes the "unbroken sunshine" forecast pissed on us and it was almost dusk so no chance of it drying, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Rainbow. Unfortunately a main ingredient is rain.
Sunset prettiness on Stac Pollaidh.
Secondly for variety it was the well-reputed Highland sport venue of Goat Crag, one of the triptych of classic animal-themed Scottish sport climbing crags. I still think it would be great on a summer's day to catch the morning sun at The Elephant, shelter from the afternoon heat at The Camel, and finish basking in the evening at Goat Crag. Or maybe the other way around to catch the shade. Anyway, the weather was great at Goat Crag, utterly unlike my climbing. Not only am I fat and weak, after a mere few weeks away from roped climbing, I'm back to utter gaylordistic cowardom, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Even the bumbly warmups can be photogenic.
A much better view than looking inward to my climbing.

Three things...

...that say it all:

1.


2.


3. (An oldie but totally timeless)

DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING BOLLOX BRITISH FUCKING CUNT WEATHER
DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING WET ALL NEXT CUNTING WEEK
DARK MAVIS says:
CCCCUUUUUNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Fiend says:
they should quote that on metcheck

The Dismal End.

It is now mid-September, the definitive, quintessential, Indian Summer time. When the showery frustration and occasional mugginess of July and August give way to the settled mellow warmth of early Autumn, when the crags have slowly but finally dried and seepage is at bay, when the midges are satisfyingly dying out, when the second great weather window of the year opens and allows some of the best climbing times.

As I write this, the tail end of a fucking HURRICANE is ripping through Glasgow like a cataclysmic expulsion of weather god diarrhoea, spraying 5cm deep torrents of rain on 70mph gusting winds. Oh but don't worry, there is a good weather window coming for a couple of days.....and then it's straight back to pissing SHIT again.

The dismal end to a dismal summer that never even started. A summer where everything seemed deceptively stacked in my favour: Last year felt like a recovery year from DVTs, this felt like a year where I was going to really get into climbing and progress and enjoy. I had plentiful and diverse inspiration for further exploration and nearer challenges. Following last years's dabblings, I had varied and succinct places to visit: A week on Lewis, long weekends in Skye, Caithness and Ardnamurchan, weekends at Glen Nevis and Creag Dubh - remarkably little to ask for an entire summer in which I had plenty of time. I also had - eventually - plenty of keen partners to explore with.

Time. Inspiration. Fitness. Plans. Partners.

All meaning fuck all without any reliable weather (since April, apart from that couple of weeks in July).

Some people seem to get berateful or bemused at my dismay with this dismality. "But it's Scotland, what do you expect??" Well I expect something better than the coldest summer in Scotland since 1993....a climbing contact said it had been the wettest summer in Fort William for 25 years and given the astronomical amount of aborted attempts to meet up and climb, I believe her.

If I was only into going to the gym, training at the climbing wall, pottering on local crags, going swimming, painting toy soldiers, listening to drum and bass and techno and metal, playing computer games, playing pool, hanging out in cafes and occasionally restaurants, chatting shit online and offline etc etc, then SURE the weather wouldn't be a problem... But I'm not - I'm also, and mostly, and genuinely, into exploring crags all over the country and beyond. Exploration which requires more than the occasional dry afternoon to justify the journey and punishing petrol prices.

So, yes, this really does suck for someone with my tastes and inspirations. It sucks for all of us climbers. I hope the suckage comes to an end soon, with at least some respite.

Gaylord chosseering at Glen Clova.

Glen Clova:

• Lots of mid-grade climbs to go at.


• Good location and outlook.


• Nice sunny but exposed position.


• Strenuous but short approach.


• Decent area of the country for weather.

But...


• The only problem being the climbing is a bit shit.

Fiend:

• Lots of mid-grade climbing experience.


• Good personal inspiration and outlook.


• Nice ability to work out positions.


• Short but capable of strenuosity.


• Decent determination to chase best weather.

But...


• The only problem being HIS climbing is a bit shit.

Less of a "maintaining standards" session and more of a "maintaining a complete inability to progress even slightly" session. A previous session at Ratho had me feeling surprisingly unpunterish but once on real rock with the real prospect of climbing above real trad protection and really actually getting a vaguely tricky climb done, the gaylordness - and complete lack of overall fitness - was out in standard force. I did manage a couple of easier routes tho so there is some mileage there. Also got to recce plenty of Clova for future potential - i.e. there isn't that much that looks super-awesome enough.

Learnings from this session: more determination when tackling trickier routes and definitely more fitness training.

Dabbling at Dumby.

I've gone off Dumby a bit. Unless I got there properly focused with a clear intention, I usually end up dabbling on the boulders. The boulders, however, being stern, unforgiving and generally disdainful of human beings, do not tolerate such dabbling. They demand no less than the upmost dedication and the upmost determination to their harsh and hostile intricacies.

Plus I am fat and weak and can't do problems I could do years ago.

However I sometimes go down and get tempted to dabble in other directions - further upwards, with a rope and sometimes a rack. The other evening was one of those occasions. My fingers were knackered from a good campus / fingerboard session (part of the plan to de-weakify, given my fucked legs severely inhibit de-fatifying), so I just fancied some Easy Trad. Dumby isn't the best place for that once you've done the big Windjammer/LongBow combination, but a bit of hunting around reveals some options.

First up was The Whip. This was given a bland 5b grade in the old guide. IIRC, Dave Macleod was asking for feedback on some Glasgow outcrops, and I amongst other suggested that some of the longer "problems" at Dumby and Craigmore might just deserve adjectival grades. For example, The Whip is 5b, hard 5b to start and then fairly mild 5b to finish - 8m up above an abrupt angled landing. Well worth it's E2 5b and two stars. I set off in warm weather with little chalk and clunky resoled shoes, just intending to play on the bottom to warm up. However the steadily defined moves and good rests just encouraged me to go all the way up, so with some trepidation I did.

Second was some searching with Neil for a suitable lead for both of us. I spotted Eldorado, an obvious if mis-described direct start to Desperado. Neil muses "I thought you wanted Easy Trad, like HVS, rather than E3 5c". Well, errr, E3 5c IS Easy Trad, particularly when it's a short direct start to an HVS rather than some overhanging and unpredictable mega-pitch. I can't pretend otherwise. So I got on it. The start took some working out, with a low altitude but high chance of failure off balance lunge to a jug. After that it was steady up the HVS, which was actually an E1. I rather enjoyed it. Neil thought it was okay. The consensus was the start was sort of E2/3 5c/6a, with more risk of severe lacerations from brambles and broken glass than actual breakages of one's own.

And that was that. Very much a "treading water" session, like ALL the ones I'm having - and getting bored with - at the moment. Fun in itself but not satisfying the deeper exploratory and progressive urges. The weather is still sodding awful but I keep trying to be patient and keep training...

Backlog Bollox

Holy arse on toast it's been a long time since I posted any ramblings on here. The main reason being that things have been a bit bollox with weather, car trouble, partner mis-organisation, general slothfulness and other malaises.

Things I haven't done recently include:

• Got back up to anywhere inspiring in the North West or North East.


• Booked any rad and awesome trips away.


• Climbed much that has been particularly challenging or progressive.


• Kept up with training hard at the gym.


• Kept up with training hard at the wall.


• Followed my concepts for having a great climbing year.

Boo.

What a choad.

What I have done is sat on my arse too much, and then a bit of the following:

Horribly Weak at Harper's Wall
The low point of this year if not my life. Not only did I have to resort to climbing a VS, I actually enjoyed it. Ugggghhhhh. VS. Fucking hillwalking.

Breezy Cruising at Brown Crag
Obviously the above was completely unacceptable. So, after a good night's sleep and a strong coffee, Phil and I headed down to Brown Crag to see what we could do. The initial plan was to go back to square 1 and get some good E1 mileage there. As it turned out, conditions were good, the vibe was good, I was suitably wary/prepared for the steepness, and slowly eased my way into E1 5a, E1 5b, E1 5c, E2/3 5c, E2/3 5c, which whilst only just above hillwalking / descent route level, did actually feel like climbing. All pretty nice routes too.

Kinda fun at The Keel
I arranged to climb with Stuart. He suggested The Keel, a new local sport climbing crag on the Aberdeen coast. Ugggghhhhh. I expected something that would make Boltsheugh look like Ceuse. Really the last sort of place I'd want to go on a decent day with a plethora of trad available. Nevertheless I went along to give it ago, cos he's a nice guy, I might get some good training in, and maybe persuade him over to Coble Boards afterwards. As it happens although The Keel was short, steep and scruffy, it was long enough to make leading feel pretty worthwhile, and the climbing was actually kinda fun and it felt good to get involved and get a decent workout.

Casual Flailing at Carrock Fell

Each time I go to Carrock Fell it seems to be in bollox conditions. This time I thought previous bone dry days plus a forecast 10-20 mph Easterly wind would encourage some sort of friction but alas no. The rock was dry but my skin wasn't and although it was cool-ish there was a vague mugginess that ensured a brief session and a determination to revisit more in winter.

Going Okay at Glen Ogle
More local days, blah blah. Went up to Glen Ogle to sample fresh breeze and afternoon sun and it was pretty good despite it being blind rounded dusty slopey obtuse schist at it's almost worst. Nevertheless I climbed okay, highlights being a near miss on a slopey F7a - had actually committed fully to the moves and was 0.0000001 seconds away from getting a jug when I lost balance. Good that I put the effort in rather than wimping out but annoying it was rewarded with failing anyway. And a near success on the classic E3 crackline which was easy on all the steep bits and tricky on all the slabby ledgy bits and while never actually hard was sufficiently obscure enough I very nearly came off on dusty rock but somehow persuaded myself to adhere. Not so much a fun romp as a good exercise in staying calm.

Chilling at Cambusbarron
Finally went to Camby just for something to do, and that something to do seemed to mostly be lounging on my mat enjoying the sporadic sun. Did one warm-up route, tried a supposed easy E3 that was utter nails, backed off in a confused micro-huff, decided it was too still / tiring to try anything challenging and blah blah.

SoOoOo....what next to sort this debacle out. I'd love to say "more Highlands and Islands awesomeness" but I doubt the diabolical weather gods will be that kind. I certainly need to keep up with my concepts for dealing with shitty weather. I also need to train a lot more, and follow up some leads for a climbing trip abroad. Better get my arse off the toast and into gear then...

The Waiting Game.

Some free time, some keen partners, some atrocious weather.

This is the way it goes but once all the moaning and ranting and fist-shaking is out of the way, what is the best way to make the best use out of it?? In Arno's Problem - Question - Opportunity terms:

Problem: The weather fucking blows.

Question: What can I do in climbing / planning terms to maximise current and future enjoyment despite the weather??

Opportunity: Work out what areas are best to explore in weather that fucking blows, work out what climbing desires can be incorporated into weather that fucking blows, take the opportunity to train in preparation for when the weather doesn't fucking blow.

So, here are some ideas for reference, for when it's the typical south-westerly sunshine/fuckingshowers wet in the west weather:

Venues:

Northumberland: Callerhues, Rothley, Simonside, Bowden, Goat Crag...
South West: Laggantalluch, Crammag Head, Kiln O' Fuffock...
Central Outcrops: Tig-thingy Viewpoint, Glen Croe, Ardvorlich, Glen Lednock, Glen Ogle...
Eastern Outcrops: Glen Clova, Limekilns, Roslin Glen, Cambusbarron, Angus Quarries, Weem...
North East: Ballater, Rosehearty, Tarlair, Red Tower, Harper's Wall, Earnsheugh, Craig Stirling and more...

...all of which have either useful training routes (physically and mentally challenging), or specific inspirations, or would be interesting to explore, or would tackle useful climbing styles.

Other plans:

Bouldering: Glen Nevis, Arrochar (projects ;)), Carrock Fell, Gouther Crag, Gillercombe etc etc, Queen's Crag, Simonside Plateau, Shaftoe etc etc...

...the weather might be occasionally warm but it's often bloody windy during sunshine/fuckingshowers periods, so conditions can be surprisingly good. More mixing and matching, more exploration, more physical training, more fun.

Suitable inspirations: As well as exploring super-awesome areas, I do want to push myself a bit more and explore new areas of challenge and personal climbing development. Some of those challenges are more local, more compatible with general training and a focused hit... ...so that could be a good aspiration.

Training: I've found I need to progress physically to progress with my climbing overall, particularly fitness, stamina, and power to weight ratio. The gym, the campus board, the mighty R, the local-ish sport venues are all suitable and I do have some syke to keep using... ...this needs to be balanced with "keeping my hand in" on trad, but should leave me better prepared when it's dry enough to get to proper venues.


Overall: when the weather fucking blows, explore locally, mix and match with other climbing styles, train hard, and be ready to crush the Highlands and Islands :).

(And paint more toy soldiers and listen to more drum and bass...)

The Usual Bollox.

Sunshine and showers, the most despicable and infuriating of anti-climber weather conditions, guaranteed in it's unpredictability to turn out gorgeous if you stay in and and start pissing down as soon as you go out to touch rock, the heaviness of Scottish showers ensuring that even wet-weather options get adequately annoying seepage and the general on/off nonsense of such a reprehensibe climate cock-up preventing even the most slightly interesting trip away, maximising the boredom of snatched hours at local venues and allowing the myopic and unimaginative to claim they're having an awesome early summer climbing because they go to Stanage / Avon / Dumby every sodding time.

The silver lining to these mocking clouds being that I am 1. Kinda busy and 2. Kinda syked to train, after the last two glorious trips away which were great exploration but left me with a slightly sensation that I was STILL lagging behind the potential I wished to progress into, and needed to up my stamina and general physical and mental ability to cope with the steepness that obviously or insidiously infests most Scottish mid-grade cragging. Hence sessions at the campus board, gym, and the mighty R, which I went down to last saturday after a campussing and gym session and still did okay, which shows potential THERE but I need to, and will do, a fair bit more in the meantime. Bring on the pump.