Curing the Heavyweight...

Following up the fatness....and the issues causing it:

Age, Diet - NOT factors.
Medication, Inability to exercise, Less regular climbing - MAIN factors.
Less active scene - Additional factors.

What can I do about these issues??

Age: Not an issue but at any rate I don't intend to age gracefully at all!

Diet: Although this is not a factor, it is, unlike sealed veins, something I can change, and I can improve my diet even more compared to my lighter Sheffield time. I have various aims listed to try to have a habitually healthier diet to compensate for the difficulty in improving other areas. These are all simple stuff in the "eating less junk and fat, eating more healthy lightweight food" vein (ugh, veins).

Medication: I have, over several months, halved my dose of Citalopram (to 10mg, apparently below the clinical dose). This has been unpleasant and stressful and my general mood is often agitated and anxious - these are issues I naturally feel well before any beneficial improvements in weight which will obviously take time and exercise. However I get the instinct that my weight gain has stabilised at least, and I have more determination to improve it.

Inability to exercise:
Despite the difficulty of these there are a few options I'm trying with varying degrees of determination and success:

1. Going to the gym: I can do recumbent cycling, rowing, and arm cycling, and burn off a fair few calories that way. The problem is I mostly hate the sterility of the gym, and the leg exercises are still fucking hard work. I'm trying to keep determined....more drum'n'bass mp3 mixes help.

2. Going swimming: This is absolutely fine, in fact post-DVTs I've swum longer distances before. The problem is I find it more boring, if shorter, than going to the gym, AND hard to be syked for in the bleak Glasgow weather. I'm trying to get motivated to go more often, maybe warmer weather will help.

3. Doing very short bursts of running: Although it is a horrible process and I can really do fuck all, I'm sure the little bits still do something. The problem is it inevitably unpleasant and particularly demoralising that I can't progress at all. I'm trying to view it in a different way as just keeping my body moving and tailor it down in that way.

4. Keeping trying to go to crags with medium walk-ins: Although attempting longer walk-ins is pointless, I want to accept the difficulty of even medium walk-ins and keep doing them, although it's tedious it makes for a more beneficial day out. The problem is it is simply always unpleasant, regardless of the logistics, the constant exhausting and dull pain is offputting in itself. I'm trying to tailor down the walking, with more rests.

5. Other options?? I'm not really sure...
> Skiing would be great as it is very inspiring and fun, seems very active, but somehow my legs cope with it.
> Maybe more hill-walks when the weather is good? Less horrible than walk-ins with a rucsac.
> Someone has suggested shorter bursts of sprinting with longer rests, I should try that.
> Someone else suggested "aerocap" climbing training which I think means dicking around on jugs for ages, I'm not sure how much fat that would burn off but at least my legs would cope.

Fuck. How could I forget...
6. Raving! Somehow dancing to gabber or techno is fine on my legs, I assume DnB would be too. Only problem is lack of club events I like and being out of touch with what's on. I really need to rectify that.

Less regular climbing:
As hinted at before, I have realised the importance of a regular climbing lifestyle for me overall health as well as my personal inspiration. Working towards this is....kinda complex, but at least with the realisation and inspiration it has given me some strong ideas, including moving somewhere with better weather and more suitable local cragging, setting up logistics to make climbing easier, going for regular mileage days out even if they aren't always as inspiring, working on grander plans for the future, and simply being more focused on climbing.

Less active scene:
Not really sure about this one. I can't really create activity companionships out of thin air, and have often struggled to fit into regular climbing partner scenes. I;m not sure what else I can do except keep in touch with people, try to hang on to supportive partners, and try to keep a positive attitude. Although again moving somewhere with a better and more encouraging scene than Glasgow would probably be good, and that is likely to be part of the overall plan. Maybe I could try joining some physical activity clubs too...

So...

Overall, despite the odds stacked against me and my fitness, there ARE various areas I am working on (or at least trying to), and I DO have plans to improve my life and activity in the future....because I want to....because I have to.

Training and mileage.

^^^ This track is included solely because it is awesome and sometimes the path to awesomeness has to be paved with training.

The gayflu abated enough for me to go back down to TCA. I was hoping to finish off a couple of comp wall problems before they get reset this weekend. But after warming up (always so tedious in a cold wall!) and giving it a go I was just feeling weak and tired. Hmmmm. But didn't I just have a good week's mileage and then a nice rest weekend?? Oh, no, wait, was it fuck a rest weekend. An ill weekend and a recovering weekend. So I sacked it off and did almost all the new reds before they tweak them to make an easier circuit. I haven't actually had a hard training session for a few weeks, I definitely want to get back on that style of training, but I have to easy myself back into it via mileage.

One good thing though: I have had a lot of bollox training sessions because of how screwy my body (and sometimes mind!) is, and it's often been fairly demoralising with only brief glimpses of progression. But this last trip did reassure me that despite all the bollox and demoralisation, the training does seem to be doing something - slowly clawing my way back towards a previous physical level, or at the very least halting the decline! And at the end of the day, that's what matters - the training is for SOMETHING, awesome experiences on the rock, so if I feel I'm touching on that then I'm inclined to battle through.

On a related subject of fitness and progress and the ups and downs of the physical side of climbing, I was chatting to Alan C down at TCA after reading about his struggles in the last year, and in terms of fitness he highlighted the difference between training days / bouldering days, and full days out on rock and on routes. This is something I've noticed - full days out with lots of routes, even if they are not very hard, is simply better EXERCISE than training sessions or bouldering. So far, so obvious. But in terms of bouldering days - a sensible choice in winter - I have been avoiding mileage in favour of projects. Projects are rewarding and train some areas of climbing, but skin and muscle tends to give way before energy and fitness does. Thus not good exercise! So I think it will be a good idea to mix it up and be flexible in my bouldering trips - if a project isn't going well that day, just getting plenty of mileage in will do me good overall. The same with the wall too...

Random Bollox.

Not much has been happening recently.

There was a brief period of great weather which I completely missed because I was busy with stuff. Suckage.

I had a good session at Ratho where I did okay despite not having done routes for ages - although I was demoralised that I'm now such a hideous bloater I struggled to fit into my indoor harness :(.

I had a good session at TCA where I polished off several good and mis-graded problems on the comp wall. Curiously my progress over the previous session was more due to technique rather than strength, but I found I was able to keep cranking over a long-ish session, which was nice :).

I then had most of a week off climbing and exercise. Terrible. I can't afford to do that AT ALL. Came back to a session at the revamped and average-but-considerably-less-terrible-than-before GCC, and was weak, tired, and cross. Gym the next day helped a bit. I HAVE to keep moving.

Thankfully there is some movement planned: On Saturday morning Tris and I are flying to Malaga to go climbing at San Bartolo, funky looking sandstone near Gibraltar. Not a major destination but it looks nice for a few days and I really need to get away!! I need inspiration, activity, climbing mileage, and hopefully some dry fucking weather!! So, yay.

Oh and I got a cool new breakage drum'n'bass CD recently:



Nice variety of chopped up beats on this. I wasn't so taken at first, but have been playing it a lot. Ruff!

Yes Men.

I went to the new Climbing Academy wall the other day. It is rather good: The size is epic and the layout, lighting and use of space are all great. The problems seemed good and nicely varied, the music when I was there was good (chilled techno and breakbeat - spot on), and the staff are friendly. I haven't tried the coffee but I have high hopes.

There is one downside though - some of the holds. Waaaay before the wall was finished, I commented on the TCA's Facebook page to please use awesome holds like Bleaustone, HRT and Axis, and not rubbish ones like Core and Holdz. I had no idea what they would put on, only that I wanted such an impressive wall to have nice feeling holds to train on. Well the wall is full of Core, Holdz, and Beacon. Core have improved a fair bit, they are not so over-designed and have some nice textures and slopers, so that's all good and I admit I was wrong to dismiss them. Beacon are fine normal holds. Holdz are as bad as ever. The general texture is abrasive and inferior to other holds, the knobbly features are pointless and less comfortable, and the grit-textured edges are really, really bad. These must be the worst holds I've pulled on:


Anyway. That's not so interesting. Some problems are spoilt by the Holdz, and it would be better if better holds were used. The rest of it is great and I will be training there a lot and be a good paying customer.

What is interesting is the Yes Men phenomenon that arises when a big exciting project appears in the climbing world and has public areas to promote their project and allow customers to comment on it. Praise is duly accepted but criticism often isn't - even when it's in the context of a lot of praise (praise which is tabloidly ignored in the reaction to the criticism). It's not just the project owners (who you expect to have reasonable answers or acceptance of criticism) but other people who seem to have elevated such projects to sacred cow status where those projects can do no wrong and have no flaws - and certainly not have anyone pointing out those flaws. There's a definite "gang" feel to some of the reactions - reactions not just to myself but to other people who have criticisms (such as student prices).

Really if the climbing was so close-knit and looking after it's own, it could do a lot more to be inclusive and welcoming of all climbers.

This reminds me exactly of when the Climbing Works opened, and once again I praised many areas of the wall whilst criticising some of the holds (the ridiculous embedded golf ball / light bulb holds) and how dirty/chalky the holds got. Once again the Yes Men dismissed the possibility that anyone could criticise anything about the wall. A while later the ridiculous holds disappeared and brushes on sticks and notices to clean holds appeared and a great wall became a bit greater because those previously-criticised-but-dismissed issues were improved...

Anyway, fingers crossed I'm off down to T'County again this weekend, and back training at TCA early next week.

Wankshitting hidden holds at Weem.

A free day and a decent forecast and two syked partners. I was keen to get somewhere either new and exploratory or with some rad challenges to get involved with. But the team-of-three-ness and a slow start precluded that, and Weem seemed suitable to keep the momentum going with convenient logistics (although it is a bloody hour and 40 minutes from Glasgow even with the new super-awesome fully open M80).

THe Secret Garden crag certainly is secretive, and the disorientating maze of rhodedndron (sp!) carnage and uselessly vague guidebook instructions made us glad of our personal tour guide Simon to lead the way, albeit sans requisitory machete. Once at the crag it was a pretty good day ticking almost all of it. I felt pretty fine on the trickier routes, and the blind and balancy schist is fairly relevant training.

The one that got away, well you'll never guess from the title, but it had a hidden fucking hold. I was up and down over this big roof so many times. Lots of holds, that soon ran out and ended up in the wrong place to pull over on some flat sloper notch thing. So many times trying to get the seemingly suitable hand on that hold. One final lunge for it it, one slump on the rope, one brief glance of the hidden slot on the right side of the hold, one piss-easy graunch over the lip. One small tourettical burst of swearing....for about 10 minutes. Ah well. Cheating fucking route ;)

The Waiting Game.

Some free time, some keen partners, some atrocious weather.

This is the way it goes but once all the moaning and ranting and fist-shaking is out of the way, what is the best way to make the best use out of it?? In Arno's Problem - Question - Opportunity terms:

Problem: The weather fucking blows.

Question: What can I do in climbing / planning terms to maximise current and future enjoyment despite the weather??

Opportunity: Work out what areas are best to explore in weather that fucking blows, work out what climbing desires can be incorporated into weather that fucking blows, take the opportunity to train in preparation for when the weather doesn't fucking blow.

So, here are some ideas for reference, for when it's the typical south-westerly sunshine/fuckingshowers wet in the west weather:

Venues:

Northumberland: Callerhues, Rothley, Simonside, Bowden, Goat Crag...
South West: Laggantalluch, Crammag Head, Kiln O' Fuffock...
Central Outcrops: Tig-thingy Viewpoint, Glen Croe, Ardvorlich, Glen Lednock, Glen Ogle...
Eastern Outcrops: Glen Clova, Limekilns, Roslin Glen, Cambusbarron, Angus Quarries, Weem...
North East: Ballater, Rosehearty, Tarlair, Red Tower, Harper's Wall, Earnsheugh, Craig Stirling and more...

...all of which have either useful training routes (physically and mentally challenging), or specific inspirations, or would be interesting to explore, or would tackle useful climbing styles.

Other plans:

Bouldering: Glen Nevis, Arrochar (projects ;)), Carrock Fell, Gouther Crag, Gillercombe etc etc, Queen's Crag, Simonside Plateau, Shaftoe etc etc...

...the weather might be occasionally warm but it's often bloody windy during sunshine/fuckingshowers periods, so conditions can be surprisingly good. More mixing and matching, more exploration, more physical training, more fun.

Suitable inspirations: As well as exploring super-awesome areas, I do want to push myself a bit more and explore new areas of challenge and personal climbing development. Some of those challenges are more local, more compatible with general training and a focused hit... ...so that could be a good aspiration.

Training: I've found I need to progress physically to progress with my climbing overall, particularly fitness, stamina, and power to weight ratio. The gym, the campus board, the mighty R, the local-ish sport venues are all suitable and I do have some syke to keep using... ...this needs to be balanced with "keeping my hand in" on trad, but should leave me better prepared when it's dry enough to get to proper venues.


Overall: when the weather fucking blows, explore locally, mix and match with other climbing styles, train hard, and be ready to crush the Highlands and Islands :).

(And paint more toy soldiers and listen to more drum and bass...)

The Usual Bollox.

Sunshine and showers, the most despicable and infuriating of anti-climber weather conditions, guaranteed in it's unpredictability to turn out gorgeous if you stay in and and start pissing down as soon as you go out to touch rock, the heaviness of Scottish showers ensuring that even wet-weather options get adequately annoying seepage and the general on/off nonsense of such a reprehensibe climate cock-up preventing even the most slightly interesting trip away, maximising the boredom of snatched hours at local venues and allowing the myopic and unimaginative to claim they're having an awesome early summer climbing because they go to Stanage / Avon / Dumby every sodding time.

The silver lining to these mocking clouds being that I am 1. Kinda busy and 2. Kinda syked to train, after the last two glorious trips away which were great exploration but left me with a slightly sensation that I was STILL lagging behind the potential I wished to progress into, and needed to up my stamina and general physical and mental ability to cope with the steepness that obviously or insidiously infests most Scottish mid-grade cragging. Hence sessions at the campus board, gym, and the mighty R, which I went down to last saturday after a campussing and gym session and still did okay, which shows potential THERE but I need to, and will do, a fair bit more in the meantime. Bring on the pump.

2011.1

General climbing related issues to work on and improve.

As always the main challenges with climbing - not just my climbing, almost anyone's climbing - apart from the utterly crucial personal psychology are WEATHER and PEOPLE (I still aspire to join the ranks of those very fortunate people who have a good local scene of similarly-syked partners...). For me there is the additional challenge of FITNESS which has been an uphill battle since DVTs preventing some simple exercises. Weather is both uncontrollable and malicious (ah, if only it was just one of those!), so can only be worked around with knowledge, readiness and flexibility. The others can be worked on directly...

1. Keep in touch with friends and partners better and organise myself more proactively. - needs: reply promptly to partners in whatever media and don't put off emails, always reply even when unavailable, accept invites if I'm free just for the social side (if suitable), try plans with regular partners I already know before asking on UKC, try to be a good partner myself, make plans in advance with the option to change them rather then leaving them until the last minute.

9. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall. - needs: get in routine of exercise, make it logistically convenient to fit into life, use workouts that are beneficial but easy to be motivated for, try to do gym work that compliments wall work and pool work and vice versa, go with current inclinations rather than worrying about specifics (better to go and do a sub-optimal workout than not go at all), stretch regularly after showers, download more ruff and rude drum and bass MP3 mixes...

10. Lose 1 stone via the above. - needs: watch diet - eat smaller portions, be aware of and avoid overeating, avoid fatty convenience food, maximise enjoyment of healthier foods, drink lots of water, make exercise and healthy eating part of routine.

Critical Analysis.

4 days...



...in the Costa Blanca. Gosh I do like going away on climbing trips. After a few weeks of training and a very sedate week recovering from gayflu and christmassing, touching down in Spain in a sunnily warm yet expansively fresh evening felt almost like....coming home. Despite the familiar homogenity of the climbing and the lack of any particular loyality for the area, the prospect of a few days guaranteed intense climbing with a wide choice of crags had a sense of inherent rightness. I sometimes forget that while the Costa Blanca has a very "Rockfax-clutching Brits abroad" mundanity to it, it is also very good - including the scenery, the splendour of which transcends the mercifully out-of-season hellholes of Benidorm which it overlooks.

This time I got to explore 4 new crags and do some pretty good climbing in good company. I found that I failed to achieve my hopes but exceeded my expectations.

On the plus side I overcame my gayflu pretty quickly, indeed the first day climbing in the sun I could feel it fading away throughout the day. My finger held up fine, and I felt physically good after a few weeks training. My head wasn't bad either. And I did a few cool and challenging routes.

On the minus side, I failed on a few routes including some that were really inspiring, and I might benefit from pondering more over those. I know what I did right (training, pacing, rest, enthusiasm, route choice), but what could I have done better?

Route 25 F7a, Murla
What went wrong? Foot slipped off boulder problem start.
What could I have done? Not clipped the bolt so I could boulder it out, re-warmed up better, fought harder.
How can I improve that? Accept that a bouldery route really IS bouldery, and prepare better for unduly hard moves.

Ozzie F7a, Echo Valley
What went wrong? Didn't trust tiny polished pinch and slumped onto rope.
What could I have done? Given the move a try anyway as I was by the bolt, slapped my hand to remove chalk and sweat.
How can I improve that? Focus on trying anyway even if I'm sure I won't succeed, as there is nothing to lose.

Muca Muca F7a, Pego
What went wrong? I was midway through doing the crux move and just sagged off due to lack of precision as I was surprised I was actually doing it.
What could I have done? Realised I was climbing quite well and actually stayed focused.
How can I improve that? Have a wee think about how I am climbing at a particular time and adjust my expectations and focus accordingly.

Teto F7a(F7a+/b), Pego
What went wrong? Tried crux but couldn't get comfortable to clip and slumped on rope. Tried crux after and still too hard above.
What could I have done? Not much as I couldn't have flashed the whole crux, but I could have felt around more on the hold.
How can I improve that? Try to get into habit of remembering I can push myself further, and keep feeling around and trying moves.

Sesion De Noche F6c, Barranc L'Avern
What went wrong? Missed a hidden jug and slumped onto rope.
What could I have done? Felt around more, trusted I would have enough strength to keep going, tried move without jug.
How can I improve that? Try to get into habit of remembering I can push myself further especially if a rest is coming up, and keep feeling around and trying moves.

Mitja Via F6c+(F7a), Barranc L'Avern
What went wrong? Fell off one move from easy ground due to utter exhaustion.
What could I have done? Very little, I had pushed very hard through several on/off moves. It was close tho.
How can I improve that? Try to eek out a bit more mental focus, and probably keep breathing as well as chalking/shaking out.

In general: The two main things I can work on improving are realising how well I am climbing and staying focused on climbing well at that level, and trying improbable moves when I feel mentally comfortable doing so. So from this trip I can take the pleasure of what I did, and the potential of what I can do in future...

Gym'll Fix It.

Sorry. Very sorry. I can't be trusted with a blog. Nor the internet. Nor a keyboard.

Anyway. Training, again. I have got some syke back for it. Which might be why my body has politely requested a rest day.

Thu - Gym
Fri - Ratho routes
Sat - (rest)
Sun - Ratho bouldering
Mon - Gym
Tue - Ratho routes
Wed - Gym
Thu - (rest)
Fri - Gym
Sat - Fat Buddha bouldering
Sun - Transition routes

Not bad. The gym is featuring heavily, it is reasonably convenient, I can do it on my own, I can do fitness training I can't do outside, it balances out the climbing, it doesn't aggravate my finger, and unusually I am actually vaguely motivated for it - this last factor being a radical break from tradition. I tend to do 25 mins recumbent cycling, either 20 mins rowing or 10 mins rowing and 2x7 mins arm cycling, and 30 mins mixed weights. This seems to be a relatively un-tedious combo, at least when backed up with an adequate supply of DnB mp3 mixes. What effect it is having on my weight, health, and climbing fitness, I don't really know, but I feel good doing it - so it probably is good. I'm going to keep going this week, mix in some outdoor bouldering, and probably be forced to have 3 rest days over Xmas, BLEH.

Snow down / slow down.

It's a fairly odd time at the moment. I am shit but still syked. It snowed a lot. Then everything was covered in snow and ice apart from the things that weren't and were too warm. Now it's all melted and everything is damp including Ratho which has streams pouring out of the old comp wall. I've been taking things steady down the wall through necessity, same with the bouldering too - certainly not pushing hard and crimping like a demon. So my 2003-tweaked finger has come back and retweaked HOW THE CHOADING HELL. I'm getting syked for training and going to the gym too. This has had the noticable benefit of me feeling at least as unfit and tired on routes if not more so. It's not making any sense.

One thing that is making sense is that I've got a mini trip booked to Costa Blanca between Xmas and New Year. Look, I've got email confirmation from Easyjet. So that's real. My climbing out there could be surreal, unreal, or just plain fictious. God only knows. It's what I'm training for anyway. A shining beacon of merely possible failure, gleaming through the dank fog of certain failure.

Other than that I want to make some more exciting plans abroad (thinking of Malta and Morocco at the end of Jan), keep bouldering and pull my finger out and push myself as much as errr that finger allows, get out tradding too, keep exploring, keep fit, get some vestige of stamina back. Not much to ask when it's all inspiring despite the lack of sense ;).

On The Merits Of Being Shit.

At the moment, I am shit.

My fitness is shit - I feel physically sluggish in general, I am a tigger without a bounce. I've slacked off on the CV training and with my leg issues I can't afford to do that.

My climbing fitness is shit - I get pumped and tired so much quicker than normal. Not just on routes, even on boulder problems, I get out of breath.

My weight is shit - I'm the heaviest I've ever been, more than a stone heavier than 3 years ago. And not all of that is pure beefy muscle :(

My strength is shit - Probably due to the weight issue, but I really can't seem to haul my lardy arse in an upwards direction. I dread to think how few pullups I can do.

My skin is shit - but that's normal heh.

My attitude is shit - I still think I can climb as well as I have during the better points of this year....deluded, I go into each session kidding myself I'm better than I currently am. I'm not adjusting to my new physical needs, I'm not dedicated enough to training in various ways.

My technique....isn't any more shit than usual - I do feel I'm moving okay on rock and in touch with what balance and footwork I usually have.

My finger strength....isn't as shit as the rest - I do feel that I can hang on smallish holds, just can't pull very far on them.

My inspiration....isn't shit - I do feel happy that I've got so inspired by bouldering over winter, AND I'm getting syked and getting ideas for next spring too. Definitely "true to self".

OH DEAR.

As Duncan Disorderly is fond of saying, "You can't have fun when you're weak". I could never really identify with that. But now, for the first time ever, I might even be weaker than Dunc. That is a dirty, sordid feeling with an unwholesome air of inherent wrongness.

Basically I have to wake up and put some fucking effort in. The good thing about being weak is you can get strong, the merits of being shit are that you can improve, progress, and learn. What I need to learn is to get into good habits of overall physical activity and training - not just climbing, but general training that will crucially benefit my health and undoubtably benefit my climbing too. IF I can learn to that, that will be very good. If I can't, I will just have to keep trying and battling with my bad habits.

I think my climbing desires are in touch with the season.

I think my climbing needs are also in touch with the season.

I now need to address those needs so I can meet those desires.

Changing seasons, changing styles.

The previous weekend in Aberdeen definitely heralded the arrival of autumn, and possibly winter too as the bleaker seasons tend to blur together up here in the windswept wastelands. Leave were swirling off the trees, the sun's lazy low angle made the warmth of it's light exceed the warmth of it's glow, the air felt cool in the lungs and the rock cold under the skin. I was still syked for trad as it is objectively and factually the best, most fun and most rewarding form of climbing, but I got an increasing urge to sample the friction and power of bouldering (and sport, to a lesser degree).

So although I'm keen to maximise the trad potential this winter, I'm just as keen to mix it up with bouldering as the conditions dictate. In the end I've explored a fair amount of good trad this year, and the few outstanding (in terms of unvisited status AND quality) venues won't be suitable in winter, so when it really is too grim for trad I'll turn my exploring urge to bouldering. I've very rarely travelled far to boulder, apart from Font it's just been one weekend with Ogs in Wales, and a couple of the Official Lads Bouldering meets. But you have to travel far to get the best out of Scotland and bouldering is no exception. Thus trips to Mull, Inverness, Torridon and Reiff are being planned, as well as Northumberland too. This should hopefully mean more time on the rock and more fun :). Mix and match and go with the flow.

Related to that, the other good option in winter is of course winter sun sport climbing. As always my urge is exploration, particular atypical options away from the homogenous Euro-limestone. I'm still gathering ideas for that, but in the meantime, Sir Choadington Choadalot of Choadsbury is out in Arco with his family, and I've got some time to take a long weekend out there. Thus another change in style, back to some last minute emergency training. Recent Ratho visits confirm I'm not fit....but getting fitter. It's nice to have something to work towards, and that thing itself will be a good top-up for now too.

Return to Ratho.

Ratho is perhaps the only indoor wall I can be bothered to write about. Ratho is the only wall where I don't begrudge having to go indoors rather than outdoors. Ratho is the only wall where I've actually gone there to train on a dry sunny day (only the once mind you!!). It is vast, the routes are very long, you get very pumped, the angles are good, and the walls are a nice plain colour rather than ghastly toddler primary colours. It is a place where I can just get on and lead routes without any rigid schedule, and know I am still training.

A year ago I went down for the first time. I struggled up F6as, had to rest on F6bs, and after each route/attempt I ended up doubled over gasping with exhaustion - not due to the altitude at the lower-offs, due to the exertion and lack of fitness. A few months later I was back up to leading F6cs okay, which felt like a fair standard of fitness. Several months after that I had an emergency training session and managed 3 F7as including the hardest indoor route I've lead. Which was nice. I did okay this summer, maybe it's all related.

Fast forward to a year after the first visit and I'm back in training - last year was just getting my climbing fitness back up....this year I'm going to get BIG AND STRONG....ish. Obviously the training is needed as after a fairly sluggish week I wasn't big and strong at the wall I was FAT AND WEAK. Not as bad as a year ago but definitely lacking in wall fitness. This is fine because to get big and strong one initially has to be less big and strong i.e. fat and weak to progress upwards. It certainly felt good to give my climbing muscles a workout, and I'm looking forward to trying hard and progressing in future sessions...

Dermatological grating in Dumfries and Galloway.

Mixing and matching, I had a couple of wee bouldering sessions recently. Firstly back down to Garheugh Point, where the scenery is lovely, the air is fresh, the rock is aesthetic, and the problems are actually quite good. Apart from Life Is Beautiful which is a great line, a nice piece of rock, a good name, but an utterly foul problem. Truly horrible and uninspiring snatching along a painful finger-break with cramped smearing on awkward footholds. It is actually even worse than The Edge Problem at the Cromlech, which I didn't think was possible. Naturally Scottish Bouldering hails it as a classic, and in other mis-description deception, describes another 3 star classic nearby which doesn't actually exist. Bravo. Needless to say I did neither of those and instead finished off Bowfinger which is pretty cool techy/cranky stuff with thin handholds and blind footholds and a good couple of grades harder if you can't lank it from the first stand-up position:



Note that I am Climbing In A T-shirt gasp shock horror. It was bloody windy down there, I'd forgotten my beanie and forgotten I had a spare beanie in my sac, anyway my sac was rather chilly and after a bit more sloping around I left while I still had some skin intact.

So Garheugh was cold, fine grained, and trashed my skin. Conversely, the Galloway Forest's elusive Rankin Boulder was hot, sharp grained, and trashed my skin. It's actually pretty good for an esoteric boulder, but the inimical conditions prevented a true appreciation of this. I'll go back in winter to sample it's frictional properties, but in the meantime did one pretty decent easy problem:



One thing I have realised is that these videos are a bit shit really - they just show me doing some random problem somewhere. Sometimes I've taken clips of stuff that climbs pretty cool (Spanking The Monkey) or that I'm personally chuffed with (Monkey Spanking). Very occasionally I've got something that looks kinda aesthetic. But mostly it's a punter puntering. Punto, ergo sum. Hmmm. Well, I guess one thing they do show is some hidden gems, some venues that people don't often go to, and problems people don't often do. And maybe that is of vague interest?? A picture says a thousand words, maybe a thousand consecutive pictures in one video says a few words: "Pretty cool boulder, go climb it"...

Ticking over but not ticking.

Another week of doing a lot yet doing little. With some inspiration to get bigger and stronger, I have been training a fair bit and pottering on sport climbs a fair bit. The latter being good training in itself, both physically and more importantly psychologically, the main benefit being doing sketchy moves on lead. I haven't actually climbed anything BUT I am feeling a bit leaner and meaner, okay the latter might just be my latent misanthropy (probably reactivated by my continual bewilderment and incomprehension of the Scottish climbing scene). This is a good thing and may feed back into short term results and long term Easy Trad desires too.

One notable aspect of climbing has been GOING TO THE GYM. In particular to do CV exercise - something I've always rightly disdained, the ludicrosity of paying to trot along on a running (or cycling) machine inside when there is, well, the entirety of Planet Earth's landmass to run (or cycle) on outside, for free. However now I am....minorly disabled....there are some important benefits, for someone in my situation at least...

The other week I went to see a top vascular surgeon in London. No news is not really good news and he confirmed what the other specialists have said - leg veins are now blocked too, any blood return will have to be done via minor surrounding veins, these will develop over time but (in my estimation) this could be a very slow process - decades rather than years. BUT one useful issue was discussed, as regards to how crippled I am fitness-wise for walking uphill and running. The surgeon highlighted the importance of leg orientation for improving or inhibiting blood return, in particular the difference between vertical exercises and prone exercises (fnaaarrrr).

This apparently was a beneficial aspect of swimming that I hadn't considered, and could be applicable to other exercises. Thus I have been trying rowing and recumbent cycling at the gym. And, hurrah!! Both of these exercises I can do a lot better than running and walking uphill. At first I thought this might be because they were too easy....but then I realised I was dripping with sweat in an air conditioned room. So I must have been doing something right. Combining this sort of exercise with a bit of weights and some prior fingery climbing training seems to give a nice rounded feeling and avoids errr having too much of a nice rounded feeling ;)

There is a Plan B.

The waiting game continues - the weather still too rubbish and unreliable in the all-important North West and Isles - sunshine and sodding showers, glorious dry days alternating with torrentially wet ones, preventing the multi-day trips that such inspiring yet remote venues require. Although expected from a Scottish summer, and an all too familiar bane of the syked trad explorer, this still sucks festering goat arse. Thus something is needed to alleviate the tedium of the waiting and "keeping one's hand in" game.

That Plan B is coming in the form of inspiration to push myself more physically. There are other reasons for this (I will explain later), but also taking advantage of local crags, sport crags, wet-weather crags, venues that are considerably less interesting but much more reliable. Finding some solace in the joys of movement and the thrill of intense challenge and the dark art of redpointing. For me this is all a side-line but it is an interesting and rewarding one....and one which will hopefully feedback into my trad climbing, firstly as valuable physical (and sometimes mental) training but also too keep my trad syke undersatiated and unjaded.

Time to stop being weak, I think.

Wee bit of fun at Weem.

One of the first places I climbed when I moved to Scotland, apart from a fairly mediocre trip to Aberdeen, was a fairly mediocre trip to Weem. I met up with Mister Guidebook Writer Gary Latter, asked him why he had missed out the entire Aberdeen and Moray coast, didn't get a satisfactory answer, struggled to walk up the short hill to the crag, bumbled around a bit, and had to dog an easy warm-up route. I didn't go back to Weem, he didn't reply to any further emails about meeting up for climbing...

This time I managed weedeem myself and get a wee bit of weevenge on my weeturn (okay I'll stop this now). I stomped up the hill in one go (and nearly fainted when I reached the crag), got on said easy warm-up route - I'd forgotten enough to warrant doing it again, indeed I had plenty of surprises on route, including how utterly SHITE the bolting is, out of 7 bolts I think only one of them is in the right place, the others are so obviously misplaced - and did it despite that nonsense and it being completely undergraded. I did another route which was completely overgraded, and then tackled one of the main slab pitches, Confessions Of Faith. Gary had fallen off this one when I was there previously, so I was expecting a challenge and I wasn't disappointed in that nor the quality. A nourishing core of fairly desperate slab moves on underclings and blind feet, wrapped in a meaty coating of general crimpy slab climbing and a crisp outer shell of a sustained and surprisingly pumpy finish. A perfect Scotch Egg of a route - really tasty and highly recommended.

That was it for the day as I had a young lady to "attend" to, but it was enough to keep my hand in while waiting for summer to return....

Grinding away at Garheugh.

The weather is still stopping away trips, so I'm alternating between indulging other hobbies and the occasional training session. This weekend was visiting my mum and mostly a very chilled out time drinking strong coffee and painting toy soldiers, but I also diverted back to Glasgow via Garheugh. It's a nice wee greywacke crag opposite to the Stranraer peninsula, short on routes but long on bouldering, which is actually, surprisingly, consistently good. I've been a couple of times for both styles but not really tackled the bouldering when I'm fully fit.

Bouldering versus routes. It's all a matter of scale.
This time I had three goals: 1. Go somewhere nice and scenic to climb. 2. Train myself hard in preparation for trad trips. 3. Do some of the classic problems. Well, two out of three ain't bad. The only thing I really got up was repeating my own problem, Brunch. I wasn't sure how good it was, but looking at it on this visit, it's clearly a good if minor line, certainly better than some of the described problems (like the chossy wall to the left). I wasn't sure if it was worth the grade, but reclimbing it on this visit, it's clearly a taxing enough move, certainly worth the effort. Naturally it's missed out of the Scottish Bouldering guide to make way for some wank eliminates and overhyped non-classics elsewhere.



I should have also had a video of the crag classic Bowfinger (which is a great bit of rock and not overhyped!). Instead I had dozens of videos of me falling off it. This is a cool, committing, and very Font-esque problem, graded V4/5 (Font 6c wtf that means). I regularly go to Font and do V4-V6 problems in a few goes, often after driving 12 hours and 1 hour's sleep on the ferry. Naturally this so-called """V4/5""" took me a few hours and I still couldn't do it. There might be some issue with the top being highly morpho (reaching a seam with feet under a bulge in another seam, or not reaching as the case may be), but I suspect the main issue is the grading being typically Scottish i.e. fucking shite. Still it is cool and now I have some vague idea of the Numbers (it's desperate to work as you can't pull on, only climb it), I will be back. Nice venue.

Returning to Glasgow past the watchful gaze of Ailsa Craig.

Perthshire power.

Due to unfortunate weather my hugely desired plans to get to Lewis, Skye and Caithness are postphoned for a bit. The usual sunshine and showers bollox, wet in the west and okay for local trips but not trips away. Disappointing as my inspiration lies firmly in the Western Isles, but in the meantime it's a good excuse to train, so that's what I did....

Day 1 I went to Rob's Reed, a newish sport climbing crag near Forfar. Like many such venues it is Scottish climbing at it's unfinest, yet it is also quite cool and interesting - a long, sheer wall of conglomerate sitting on a sandstone base, all shaded by trees but thankfully not too sheltered so conditions were reassuringly fresh. The sandstone provides thin bouldery starts, the conglomerate provides blind and pumpy finishes, and detachable pebbles provide a delicate yet pungent seasoning. Amazingly, given my recent track record, I didn't pull anything off. I even managed to stay mostly attached myself, and did a few good routes. Unfortunately my partner needed to leave so it was a somewhat truncated session.


Flashing The Peel Sessions in a bright yellow t-shirt and Bolt Thrower beanie. Naturally I first heard Bolt Thrower on the John Peel shown when he played this.


Evening 1 I tried to get some Aberdeen locals out to the sea-cliffs but to no avail, thus I headed off into the wilds of Glen Clova for a spot of bouldering. This was one of the many areas on my winter bouldering ticklist last year, but as it turned out I didn't really need to go in winter - a fresh breeze was blustering down the Glen and made for excellent conditions for July. I booked in at the Glen Clova Hotel hostel (which is the weirdest fucking place I've ever stayed, I stayed 6 years ago, it was bizarre then and it's just as bizarre now. A completely enclosed airless kitchen behind the drying room, surrounded by box rooms that have a door into a shower/toilet on the outside - complete with single curtain rail to ensure the toilet gets soaked during a shower - leading into a similarly airless and lightless bunkroom cell. The faint hissing of some malignant air conditioning rounds off the prison-like claustrophobia nicely and ensures the all important unwelcome feeling and sleepless night.) Anyway, checked in, headed up the Glen, no-one there, had a great evening bouldering on my own. Unlike most Scottish areas the bouldering is actually half decent, the main problem is the guide is bollox as usual. Once I found the actual lines, I pulled hard(-ish) and felt I was training okay.


Black Dyke resident disapproving of us as much as we disapproved of him:


Day 2 was back to Rob's Reed, via a lengthy detour Aberdeenwards to check out The Black Dyke. Unfortunately two of the better-looking warm-up routes were nesty and my partner was not inspired, so after much ummming and ahhing we went back for more training. Armed with a handwritten guide I explored more of the crag and had a better session. Pulled hard, got pumped, nearly came off one route on a wild gaston through to pocket, gritted teeth and held it. All good training for the greater Isles...