Desired Days...

North West trips

Lewis - 6 days
Dalbeg - 1 day
Mangestra - 1 day
Painted Wall - 1 day
Other areas - 3 days

Skye - 5 days
Neist - 2 days
Rubha Hunish - 1 day
Elgol - 1 day
Staffin Slip - 1 day

Wester Ross - 5 days
Gruinard - 1 day
Tollie Crag - 1 day
Diabeg - 1 day
Tollaidh/Stone Valley - 1 day
Reiff - 1 day

Caithness - 1 day
Sarclett/Mid-Clyth - 1 day

Glen Nevis - 3 days
Wave Buttress/Meadow - 1 day
High Crag - 1 day
Road/Scimitar - 1 day

Creag Dubh - 2 days
Great Wall - 1 day
Barrier Wall / Waterfall - 1 day

TOTAL: 22 days (in an entire spring/summer/autumn)

Other trips:

Other venues - 3 days
Cummingston - 1 day
Rosehearty - 1 day
Pass Of Ballater - 1 day

Aberdeen area - 6 days
Whisky Cliff - 1 day
Berrymuir - 1 day
Johnsheugh - 1 day
Floor's Craig - 1 day
Red Tower - 1 day
Other venues - 1 day

Local - 4 days
Glen Lednock - 2 days
Glen Croe - 1 day
Roslin Glen - 1 day

TOTAL: 13 days (when it's raining in the North West)

...

35 days...

...

Glorious Gairloch.

This year, Scotland's summer is in....March. Maybe the Indian Summer will be in December then? Or perhaps early August to maximise midges? Who knows. All I know is the slightest hint of dryness sends me into a twitchy panic that I MUST get out because God knows when it will be dry again. Seems stupid to be like that but that's what experience teaches you up here.

Thank fuck, I got a plan organised, big up to JadeL who was up for going to Gairloch for a weekend. A bit of a mission for two days (although we did get back from the Stone Valley Crags parking spot to Glasgow in 3:45, only 10mph over the limit apart from a bit faster from Kinlochewe to Garve), but oh so worth it. I was smitten by Gairloch the first time I went with Pylon King, and have been back a few times. Normally I could get a bit jaded by revisiting the same areas, but no....Gairloch is just so nice. Stunning scenery, lovely rock, great cragging, the perfect blend of wildness and accessibility.

The first day at Jetty Buttress and Mungasdale I didn't do that much climbing, I was just enjoying the vibe of being back in my natural environment. It was also very still and warm which had me feeling a bit slothful, so I backed off a few tricky routes and just did some warm-up ones, still fun though.

The second day at Stone Valley was sunnier, breezier, bigger and more gooder. 35 minute approach stomp is plenty for me but I made it. We did a good variety of routes and I managed a few trickier ones this time....I'm starting warming into the trad again, this is only my 2nd and 3rd days since October. By the end of the day my fingers were burning from the immaculately rough Gneiss, my toes were burning from breaking in new shoes while seconding slabs, and my legs were aching from the walk-in.....pleasurable pains!!

My trad leading felt fine....I'm getting back into it, felt pretty competent, just need to stay focused.

My elbow felt fine....a bit tweaky at the end of each day but feeling good on the climbing, just need to be careful.

My fitness felt....well whatever, but days out like this are EXACTLY what I need....and lots of. Physical and spiritual health!!

P.S. I am working on the follow-up post about my weight n stuff....soon.

Coigach Clambering.

So it is now November. The days are a lot shorter, climbing time is limited, the temperatures are cold and options restricted. I'm busier and my time is limited and I've given up on getting up North and getting more trad done. So what the fuck does the weather do?? Get totally awesome in the North West. A whole fucking summer waiting for half-decent half-dryness, and now it's pretty much past the point of pointless, there's several days of sunshine up there.

FUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUCCCKK!!!

Still as mocking as this respite is, it is respite nonetheless and thus must be as vigorously seized as one would seize a passing cat who is hoping to sneak by without getting pounced on and having it's tummy mercilessly rubbed and nuzzled. Given the time of year it was mostly seized and sandwiched between bouldering pads. Just like the passing cat should be...

The pre-match friendly was at the Inchbae Erratics. These are indeed erratic but then again isn't most of Scottish bouldering. This area had the usual pre-requisites of absent approach times and a useless map, but also curiously accurate grades and definitely deserved star ratings. The erratics are scattered over an unerratically and consistently boggy plateau, and although spread out, the problems are really rather good - strong lines and good moves. It could do with more development and is a good stopping off point en-route to Ullapool.


Inchbae!
The main game took place firstly at Reiff In The Woods. It was supposed to be at Reiff By The Sea but this was hampered by that same sea leaving landing pools and a slight lingering damp. There were hardy souls climbing trad there, which was nice to see. RITW is a classy little spot - roadside but with stunning views, sheltered in trees yet exposed to sun and breeze, jumbled together but with plenty of strong lines. Indeed the lines were stronger than I was!! We made little headway on anything challenging until trying the cool "spot from sitting in the car" thin wall/arete. After a few goes we were both close and it was almost in the bag - and after a few goes the "unbroken sunshine" forecast pissed on us and it was almost dusk so no chance of it drying, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Rainbow. Unfortunately a main ingredient is rain.
Sunset prettiness on Stac Pollaidh.
Secondly for variety it was the well-reputed Highland sport venue of Goat Crag, one of the triptych of classic animal-themed Scottish sport climbing crags. I still think it would be great on a summer's day to catch the morning sun at The Elephant, shelter from the afternoon heat at The Camel, and finish basking in the evening at Goat Crag. Or maybe the other way around to catch the shade. Anyway, the weather was great at Goat Crag, utterly unlike my climbing. Not only am I fat and weak, after a mere few weeks away from roped climbing, I'm back to utter gaylordistic cowardom, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Even the bumbly warmups can be photogenic.
A much better view than looking inward to my climbing.

Three things...

...that say it all:

1.


2.


3. (An oldie but totally timeless)

DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING BOLLOX BRITISH FUCKING CUNT WEATHER
DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING WET ALL NEXT CUNTING WEEK
DARK MAVIS says:
CCCCUUUUUNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Fiend says:
they should quote that on metcheck

Howlerhirst Heat, Simonside Shade.

Another flying Northumberland visit, thanks to the Indian Autumn heatwave that ensures most of England is utterly glorious and all of West Scotland is utterly torrentially foul (obviously as I type this it is pissing down in Glasgow).

(Hot) Howlerhirst is relatively low altitude, rarely climbed on, and basks in the sun all day - yet the climbing conditions were pretty good. (Shady) Simonside is high up on the plateau, much more popular, very exposed and shady - yet the climbing conditions were pretty poor. It's a curious business.

Howlerhirst is the final main tick in my Northumberland apprenticeship. I've now been to pretty much every worthwhile and inspiring crag, big or small, honeypot or hermit-like. Like all the off-piste craglets in The County, it is really rather nice with some very worthwhile routes. The highlight being the stunningly sculpted buttress with the fearsome Guardian Angel on (and a superb, desperate, but frighteningly feasible last great problem: Think cranking up an impending wall on shallow pockets, hanging off fingertip monos placing tricams, and a wild dyno for a super-sloping top...mmmm). But the adjacent mid-grade slab has some really nice routes on it too, well worth a visit (see below)

Simonside is....well it's cool. I have now been to the two main crags on the Simonside Plateau (SS and Ravensheugh) each as many times as I've been to Kyloe Out and Back Bowden. How's that for dedication?? Obviously the quality of these crags repays multiple visits, and more obviously that quality would improve if they got the traffic they deserved, as it is a bit frustrating seeing some great lines suffering from neglect whilst the Kyloes and Bowdens suffer from narrow-minded overuse. This was the case for previous visits and this visit, but I cleaned off a couple of mid-grade routes for Ewan, and I led a couple of great little arete climbs (Gillette being scarcely bolder and infinitely better than the unjustifiably more popular The Stoic - myopic honeypotting even up here!!). I was defeated by Over The Edge, the desperate solo start being too much in the curious conditions.

Hmmmm actually....I think Ewan mentioned going to Harehope Canyon....ah well....:)

Photos (can't be fucked bypassing blogspot's shitty new slideshow crap, sorry). PLEASE POST COMMENTS ON WHICH OF THE FIRST FOUR IS MOST WORTHWHILE THX:

Rude awakening at Rothley.

Had another day down in The County the other week. Rothley is a fuck of a long way for a single day, especially when the 6 hour round trip involves a gripping emergency stop + swerve on the M8 (not my fault), a detour avoiding a 1 hour gridlock, the death of my MAF sensor yet-a-fucking-gain (and associated panic attack until I realised what the problem was), and finally some airtime (my fault) off a stealth hummock on the road by Rothley (in the grand tradition of Northumberland roads being very straight left/right, but a lot less straight up/down.

Anyway once at the crag I managed to calm down enough to do a bit of climbing. The plan had been to combine routes (which I was syked for) with bouldering (which B was syked for). In retrospect this turned out to be a very good plan as we got so trashed bouldering we left while it was still light, shocking. So mixing in some routes would have been a good use of the time and climbing / skin-loss balance. As it was it was too sodding windy to climb routes particularly on the more delicate fare that awaits once you've done the excellent Rothley Crack.

That same wind made it good conditions for bouldering, which was nice. A steady circuit was order of the day, suitable for the general levels of punteering involved and to get used to bouldering and the rock again. That rock being particularly harsh for Northumberland, more akin to a crozzly featured gritstone than the finger-caressing finer grain further North. So that was a bit of a shock to the system, as was feeling errr fat and weak. Why am I still surprised at that?? Well I wasn't really....more just inspired to get stronger, which is nice.

I am syked for the Climbing Academy Glasgow to open (bloody awful headache colours and bloody awful Core holds and all - it will still be great to have somewhere to get beasted bouldering on a whim). I am syked for more exploration over winter. But I am syked to push myself projecting problems sooner this year. Last year I explored lots of easy circuits earlier on, and didn't start crushing (snort!) until February. This time I'll have a bit more focus I think...

The Dismal End.

It is now mid-September, the definitive, quintessential, Indian Summer time. When the showery frustration and occasional mugginess of July and August give way to the settled mellow warmth of early Autumn, when the crags have slowly but finally dried and seepage is at bay, when the midges are satisfyingly dying out, when the second great weather window of the year opens and allows some of the best climbing times.

As I write this, the tail end of a fucking HURRICANE is ripping through Glasgow like a cataclysmic expulsion of weather god diarrhoea, spraying 5cm deep torrents of rain on 70mph gusting winds. Oh but don't worry, there is a good weather window coming for a couple of days.....and then it's straight back to pissing SHIT again.

The dismal end to a dismal summer that never even started. A summer where everything seemed deceptively stacked in my favour: Last year felt like a recovery year from DVTs, this felt like a year where I was going to really get into climbing and progress and enjoy. I had plentiful and diverse inspiration for further exploration and nearer challenges. Following last years's dabblings, I had varied and succinct places to visit: A week on Lewis, long weekends in Skye, Caithness and Ardnamurchan, weekends at Glen Nevis and Creag Dubh - remarkably little to ask for an entire summer in which I had plenty of time. I also had - eventually - plenty of keen partners to explore with.

Time. Inspiration. Fitness. Plans. Partners.

All meaning fuck all without any reliable weather (since April, apart from that couple of weeks in July).

Some people seem to get berateful or bemused at my dismay with this dismality. "But it's Scotland, what do you expect??" Well I expect something better than the coldest summer in Scotland since 1993....a climbing contact said it had been the wettest summer in Fort William for 25 years and given the astronomical amount of aborted attempts to meet up and climb, I believe her.

If I was only into going to the gym, training at the climbing wall, pottering on local crags, going swimming, painting toy soldiers, listening to drum and bass and techno and metal, playing computer games, playing pool, hanging out in cafes and occasionally restaurants, chatting shit online and offline etc etc, then SURE the weather wouldn't be a problem... But I'm not - I'm also, and mostly, and genuinely, into exploring crags all over the country and beyond. Exploration which requires more than the occasional dry afternoon to justify the journey and punishing petrol prices.

So, yes, this really does suck for someone with my tastes and inspirations. It sucks for all of us climbers. I hope the suckage comes to an end soon, with at least some respite.

Leisurely climbing at Loudon.

I had a terrible thought recently. I've been getting a few decent local days out, and I suddenly realised that it would be theoretically possible for me to be one of those smug patronising twats who, after a typically abysmal non-summer, whitters on with crap like "What was the problem with the weather? I got out a few times every week, it was fine" as if their myopic and insular repeat visits to the same local crag in between showers did the term "getting out" any form of justice.

So, make no mistake, the weather is fucking appalling. Sure I got out last Thursday evening, and yesterday afternoon in nice fresh dry weather, but Friday was pissing down, Saturday was pissing down, Sunday was constant showers, and today is so pissing down it makes Friday look like the Sahahra. Local cragging is keeping my hand in but it is in no way the sort of proper trips that a summer is for.

Anyway, Loudon. Finally got out with B, whose regular mid-week days off usually coincide with the rain when we've planned to climb, but not yesterday. It was quite fine at Mount Loudon despite a bit of mugginess on the walk-up (and maybe a bit hot and bothered after overshooting the A71 junction and ended up South of Ayr...). B was keen for trad mileage, I was keen for more treading water, and we followed that keeness, conquering Mount Loudon via 7 good routes, culminating in finally laying Epitaph Sodding Variation to rest. This was quite pleasing because last summer I had a right flap on it before reversing off, this time although quite hard it just worked naturally. So I guess I am maintaining a steady level. Hopefully this will set me up for pushing things a bit....at some distant point :S

The Waiting Game.

Some free time, some keen partners, some atrocious weather.

This is the way it goes but once all the moaning and ranting and fist-shaking is out of the way, what is the best way to make the best use out of it?? In Arno's Problem - Question - Opportunity terms:

Problem: The weather fucking blows.

Question: What can I do in climbing / planning terms to maximise current and future enjoyment despite the weather??

Opportunity: Work out what areas are best to explore in weather that fucking blows, work out what climbing desires can be incorporated into weather that fucking blows, take the opportunity to train in preparation for when the weather doesn't fucking blow.

So, here are some ideas for reference, for when it's the typical south-westerly sunshine/fuckingshowers wet in the west weather:

Venues:

Northumberland: Callerhues, Rothley, Simonside, Bowden, Goat Crag...
South West: Laggantalluch, Crammag Head, Kiln O' Fuffock...
Central Outcrops: Tig-thingy Viewpoint, Glen Croe, Ardvorlich, Glen Lednock, Glen Ogle...
Eastern Outcrops: Glen Clova, Limekilns, Roslin Glen, Cambusbarron, Angus Quarries, Weem...
North East: Ballater, Rosehearty, Tarlair, Red Tower, Harper's Wall, Earnsheugh, Craig Stirling and more...

...all of which have either useful training routes (physically and mentally challenging), or specific inspirations, or would be interesting to explore, or would tackle useful climbing styles.

Other plans:

Bouldering: Glen Nevis, Arrochar (projects ;)), Carrock Fell, Gouther Crag, Gillercombe etc etc, Queen's Crag, Simonside Plateau, Shaftoe etc etc...

...the weather might be occasionally warm but it's often bloody windy during sunshine/fuckingshowers periods, so conditions can be surprisingly good. More mixing and matching, more exploration, more physical training, more fun.

Suitable inspirations: As well as exploring super-awesome areas, I do want to push myself a bit more and explore new areas of challenge and personal climbing development. Some of those challenges are more local, more compatible with general training and a focused hit... ...so that could be a good aspiration.

Training: I've found I need to progress physically to progress with my climbing overall, particularly fitness, stamina, and power to weight ratio. The gym, the campus board, the mighty R, the local-ish sport venues are all suitable and I do have some syke to keep using... ...this needs to be balanced with "keeping my hand in" on trad, but should leave me better prepared when it's dry enough to get to proper venues.


Overall: when the weather fucking blows, explore locally, mix and match with other climbing styles, train hard, and be ready to crush the Highlands and Islands :).

(And paint more toy soldiers and listen to more drum and bass...)

The Usual Bollox.

Sunshine and showers, the most despicable and infuriating of anti-climber weather conditions, guaranteed in it's unpredictability to turn out gorgeous if you stay in and and start pissing down as soon as you go out to touch rock, the heaviness of Scottish showers ensuring that even wet-weather options get adequately annoying seepage and the general on/off nonsense of such a reprehensibe climate cock-up preventing even the most slightly interesting trip away, maximising the boredom of snatched hours at local venues and allowing the myopic and unimaginative to claim they're having an awesome early summer climbing because they go to Stanage / Avon / Dumby every sodding time.

The silver lining to these mocking clouds being that I am 1. Kinda busy and 2. Kinda syked to train, after the last two glorious trips away which were great exploration but left me with a slightly sensation that I was STILL lagging behind the potential I wished to progress into, and needed to up my stamina and general physical and mental ability to cope with the steepness that obviously or insidiously infests most Scottish mid-grade cragging. Hence sessions at the campus board, gym, and the mighty R, which I went down to last saturday after a campussing and gym session and still did okay, which shows potential THERE but I need to, and will do, a fair bit more in the meantime. Bring on the pump.

Glorious Gairloch.

One of my current aims in exploring around Scotland is to sample the local whisky from each major climbing area I visit. I like climbing and I like whisky and I like supping on a wee dram of the latter with a campsite dinner after doing plenty of the former. The harmony of climbing on the bones of the land during the day, and feasting on the fruits of it's flesh in the evening. So far I've had good, great, or sometimes just adequate combinations of: Caithness climbing + Old Pultney, Inverness/Moray/Aberdeen climbing + Singleton, and Skye climbing + Talisker.

One place where this combination has always eluded me is the Ullapool-Gairloch area, rich in excellent cragging but barren in comparable whiskies, Inverness and Wick distilleries not quite having the local feel....until now that is!

A tip off from a local shop led me to this secret micro-distillery at Aultbea, and a small but expensive purchase of their cask strength spiced rum cask (to go with the summery weather) single malt. So far, so promising. After a fresh breezy day at Tollie Crag, there was something warming to look forward to. But what about the taste?? I am pleased to report it is a tipple that worthily matches the quality of Gairloch cragging. Brought down to bottle strength with a drop of water, it blends a good sharp spice with tropical fruit tones and a woody casky finish that was most pleasing. A rousing success.


Oh yeah and we climbed at Tollie Crag and Loch Maree Crag with not a midge in sight, and Loch Tollaidh (above) in fierce evening sun, then wombled past Whale Rock in Glen Nevis on the way back. Mostly fairly punterly but the weather was awesome and it was great to explore the elusive Tollie midge-havens in fresh conditions, and Arial at Loch Maree was the most outrageously big pitch I can recall climbing. Time for a wee break, some training, and hopefully some progression.

P.S. and someone set fire to Liathach DOH.

La Pedriza 3.

It is raining. This is bad, but not as bad as it could be. Firstly, our bungalow. This is a cramped, over-priced, uninsulated, wobbly box with fake wood plastic walls, loose sliding doors, a poxy micro-hob, and a bathroom sink unit that leaks and comes away from the wall. It is also - assuming one isn't using that sink - apparently completely watertight, and potentially warm. I knew with the non-100%-guaranteed dry climate that there was a good reason to get a bungalow rather than camp, and tonight's relative comfort and general relaxation makes the extortionate extra Euros and hours spent trying to find a suitable box worthwhile.

Secondly, the overall forecast. It was supposed to rain all day today, but it didn't start until 2:20. At 2:18 I started up a typical sketchy slab route, at 2:25 I lowered off the top just as it was getting problematic. We had preceded this by a couple of longer, easier angled, and smearier pitches. The usual deal but with slightly less bolts. Halfway up the first route I led I was feeling queasy due to the constant tentativeness of it all, by the top I was revelling in the sheer nonsense. So a planned wash-out day turned into actually getting into the park on a Sunday, a bit of walking, a bit of climbing, and then an afternoon vaguelly recceing some pretty nifty looking limestone areas. The forecast is okay tomorrow but the rock might need some drying time, then glorious for the rest of the week. Possibly too glorious with lots of sun and little wind, so we might need to hit the limestone as shelter from the sun (and slabs!) rather than shelter from the rain.

Climbing: One slab with less angle and less holds (was this possible? apparently so), one slab with more angle and more holds, mostly pointing in awkward directions. Fun!

Wildlife: Still more heron-like things, we still don't know what they are. 3 crag dogs one of which apparently would prefer chorizo rather than the stick I offered him. Not a chance.

And: Might be time for my first shower since Friday morning (too scared with sunburn last night). Mmmm hmmm.

Soggy syke.

Syke ebbs and flows. Mine is flowing (?) at the moment. I am syked to get out on the rock and CLIMB. Bouldering, trad, sport, circuits, projects, mileage, new areas, testpieces, whatever. I just feel the love and desire for the pleasure of touching, pulling, and moving over rock.

Naturally this is coinciding with a period of prolonged dampness. I don't think anything has been reliably dry for nearly two weeks now. At this time of year - as with any time of year in the UK - this is "normal". Blech. Also at this time of year there is a little leeway - a small drizzle shower can ruin a whole day, whilst in summer things might dry out. Or might not. Suffice to say I can't put my syke to good use at the moment.

No doubt the weather will turn crisp or sunny or fresh and breezy and then I'll somehow be syked to paint toy soldiers and listen to death metal instead. But just in case I can put my syke to delayed-good use. I've been doing a little bit of training at Ratho, a crude mixture of routes, falling practise, steep ground, bouldering circuits and beastmakering. Not very focused, but my current relevant weaknesses are not very specific - mostly fitness (trainable at gym etc) and lock off / pulling power (trainable at wall but less relevant to outside desires). Keeping reasonably climbing fit and ticking over will do.

Real winter sun at Red Wall seacliffs.

This weekend I visited the third in the triptych of welcoming Aberdonian climbing couples I know. This was all rather pleasant: bRad, Amelia, Atlas (above) and Dido hosted me graciously and we went out climbing. Well, the people, not the cats. Although the cats could have done a better job than I did on Sunday. But first, Saturday. Winter sun, good East Coast weather (escaping the deluge in the West), and bird-free pink granite. These are other good reasons to visit Aberdeen climbing, and why I intend to do more of it this winter season. On Saturday we visited Red Wall, and lo it is RED and a WALL. It also doesn't have any shortcuts to the base of the crag apart from abseiling, certainly not wandering through the intriguing sport climbing quarry, and wondering how appealing a swim would be if we attempted the green bulging sea-traverse to the base. Eventually we established base camp - via abseil - and rattled off a few routes. Despite the short day, false start approach, late arrival of myself from Edinburger, and climbing as a team of 3, we still managed 4 good routes albeit with the second and third following the last route in something between dusk and pitch dark. I didn't tackle anything major - I have a general syke to do so but am cautious of the conditions and Aberdonian sea-cliffs in general - but did a couple of fun routes.


Sunday initially promised sun. Then mist. Then torrential rain. Then sun again. Eventually it settled on one of the few things that wasn't forecast - light cloud and cool grey temps. We had a look at the dramatic and photogenic Round Tower but alas despite no rain and little seepage, it was damper than a squid's snatch. The infamous coastal clag in full effect. Without sun and breeze and indeed any margin for error at this time of year, options were limited to sensible retreat, but it was a good recce for the future. Thusly we ended up at Transition wall, where I transitioned from someone giving a vague impression of climbing competence, to an inept bumbling blob of punterdom. I was fat and weak in ways which are hard to describe and impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Anything which required a modicum of arm strength rather than crimping or compression left me beaten, battered, and belligerent. Oh and my skin was utter rubbish too. All rather perturbing, but it turned out to be a good workout, I suppose. God knows I need one!

Really balmy at the Rankin Boulder.

I visited the Rankin boulder in early Autumn, it was too warm. I visited recently in the middle of the apparent deep freeze (deciding that 1'c and sun in Galloway might be preferable to -10'c and sun in Glen Nevis), and it was too warm.

O RLY?

YA RLY.



The Sun:
Was warm and strong and shining straight onto the rock out of a clear blue sky. Truly it was gorgeous, a perfect winter sun. However while everywhere else emphasised the winter, this location emphasised the sun. The rock basked in it all day making for an exceptionally pleasant situation but unexceptional friction. Until the sun set, which heralded a valuable drop in temperature which was chased by a less valuable drop in light levels. Alas the latter caught up with the former before I could tackle the more inspiring problem there, a curious bulging prow which starts as for the easy central groove and rapidly gains good holds and steady if slappy ground on the rib. I found despite appearances that rapid gain is also an abruptly difficult gain so I'll have to go back for it sometime.

The Rock:
Is both good and bad. The rock is good, a sizable and shapely stone with a clean aspect, generally good landings and decent lines. The rock is bad, a belligerently abrasive granite with a texture that shreds more than it grips. Thus a combination that promises a bit more than it delivers - captivating from a distance, coarser and cruder closer up. Again, conditions-dependent, for pleasure as much as power.

The Climber:
Was okay! I struggled with the warmth and the rock. Then I didn't. Then it got dark. And I got a flapper in my thumb. And my shoes full of snow from the walk-in. But I did okay, I only flashed a couple of the easiest problems (both completely randomly overgraded). The others I could have done in colder conditions. The harder one inspired me more than I initally thought. One bonus was my tweaky finger (tweaked years ago and randomly recurring because I haven't been pushing it and I haven't been crimping hard, WTFingF??) felt fine, much better than it did down the wall on previous nights. I am also continuing the strong theme of colour coordinated bouldering garb. Whether this actually works, I don't know.

County account...

...has been opened. For bouldering at least - I've done a few routes there before. One of my favourite self-indulgent stunts is waiting for people to ask me, an outsider, if I've ever climbed in Northumberland. "A little bit....only Back Bowden, Berryhill, Bowden, Callerhues, Corby's, Crag Lough, Curtis Crag, Drakestone, East Woodburn, Goat's Crag, Great Wanney, Jack Rock, Kyloe In, Kyloe Out, Peel Crag, Raven's Crag, Ravensheugh, Rothley, Sandy Crag, Selby's Cove, Simonside and South Yardhope" I answer with a poker face but without modesty. I still want to add Howlerhirst and Linshields to my list.

I've also done a few boulder problems there before, mostly at Kyloe In (when recovering from golfer's elbow) and Hepburn Out (when recovering - or thinking I was recovering - from DVTs). Both really rather good. Of course there is so much more than that, indeed a whole guidebook full of hugely innaccurate grades and "not to scale" maps etc etc, and to optimise winter climbing I've realised I need to explore the County a lot more. I've started with a visit to Dove Holes (the bouldering venue, not the Dove Dale caves nor the village near Buxton), despite a deluge overnight it was sunny and idyllic and indeed a bit warm for bouldering as shown in the video below, but pretty good fun. Alas I ran out of daylight / courage for the better and higher problems but I'll be back for sure.


In a generally very fine afternoon, one disappointment was my renewed punterness. This time I didn't need stamina of course, but did notice that I seemed to get tired and out of breath even on boulder problems. Partly due to the penis-grinding mantle top-outs, and probably partly due to not breathing well enough, but it is still rather odd. Particularly since I went to the gym on Thu night and had my best recumbent cycling / rowing fitness session so far. So why do I get so tired on 1 minute of strenuous bouldering?? Maybe this is the same issue as getting so tired in Arco?? Anyone got any thoughts??

There is a Plan B.

The waiting game continues - the weather still too rubbish and unreliable in the all-important North West and Isles - sunshine and sodding showers, glorious dry days alternating with torrentially wet ones, preventing the multi-day trips that such inspiring yet remote venues require. Although expected from a Scottish summer, and an all too familiar bane of the syked trad explorer, this still sucks festering goat arse. Thus something is needed to alleviate the tedium of the waiting and "keeping one's hand in" game.

That Plan B is coming in the form of inspiration to push myself more physically. There are other reasons for this (I will explain later), but also taking advantage of local crags, sport crags, wet-weather crags, venues that are considerably less interesting but much more reliable. Finding some solace in the joys of movement and the thrill of intense challenge and the dark art of redpointing. For me this is all a side-line but it is an interesting and rewarding one....and one which will hopefully feedback into my trad climbing, firstly as valuable physical (and sometimes mental) training but also too keep my trad syke undersatiated and unjaded.

Time to stop being weak, I think.

Grinding away at Garheugh.

The weather is still stopping away trips, so I'm alternating between indulging other hobbies and the occasional training session. This weekend was visiting my mum and mostly a very chilled out time drinking strong coffee and painting toy soldiers, but I also diverted back to Glasgow via Garheugh. It's a nice wee greywacke crag opposite to the Stranraer peninsula, short on routes but long on bouldering, which is actually, surprisingly, consistently good. I've been a couple of times for both styles but not really tackled the bouldering when I'm fully fit.

Bouldering versus routes. It's all a matter of scale.
This time I had three goals: 1. Go somewhere nice and scenic to climb. 2. Train myself hard in preparation for trad trips. 3. Do some of the classic problems. Well, two out of three ain't bad. The only thing I really got up was repeating my own problem, Brunch. I wasn't sure how good it was, but looking at it on this visit, it's clearly a good if minor line, certainly better than some of the described problems (like the chossy wall to the left). I wasn't sure if it was worth the grade, but reclimbing it on this visit, it's clearly a taxing enough move, certainly worth the effort. Naturally it's missed out of the Scottish Bouldering guide to make way for some wank eliminates and overhyped non-classics elsewhere.



I should have also had a video of the crag classic Bowfinger (which is a great bit of rock and not overhyped!). Instead I had dozens of videos of me falling off it. This is a cool, committing, and very Font-esque problem, graded V4/5 (Font 6c wtf that means). I regularly go to Font and do V4-V6 problems in a few goes, often after driving 12 hours and 1 hour's sleep on the ferry. Naturally this so-called """V4/5""" took me a few hours and I still couldn't do it. There might be some issue with the top being highly morpho (reaching a seam with feet under a bulge in another seam, or not reaching as the case may be), but I suspect the main issue is the grading being typically Scottish i.e. fucking shite. Still it is cool and now I have some vague idea of the Numbers (it's desperate to work as you can't pull on, only climb it), I will be back. Nice venue.

Returning to Glasgow past the watchful gaze of Ailsa Craig.

Perthshire power.

Due to unfortunate weather my hugely desired plans to get to Lewis, Skye and Caithness are postphoned for a bit. The usual sunshine and showers bollox, wet in the west and okay for local trips but not trips away. Disappointing as my inspiration lies firmly in the Western Isles, but in the meantime it's a good excuse to train, so that's what I did....

Day 1 I went to Rob's Reed, a newish sport climbing crag near Forfar. Like many such venues it is Scottish climbing at it's unfinest, yet it is also quite cool and interesting - a long, sheer wall of conglomerate sitting on a sandstone base, all shaded by trees but thankfully not too sheltered so conditions were reassuringly fresh. The sandstone provides thin bouldery starts, the conglomerate provides blind and pumpy finishes, and detachable pebbles provide a delicate yet pungent seasoning. Amazingly, given my recent track record, I didn't pull anything off. I even managed to stay mostly attached myself, and did a few good routes. Unfortunately my partner needed to leave so it was a somewhat truncated session.


Flashing The Peel Sessions in a bright yellow t-shirt and Bolt Thrower beanie. Naturally I first heard Bolt Thrower on the John Peel shown when he played this.


Evening 1 I tried to get some Aberdeen locals out to the sea-cliffs but to no avail, thus I headed off into the wilds of Glen Clova for a spot of bouldering. This was one of the many areas on my winter bouldering ticklist last year, but as it turned out I didn't really need to go in winter - a fresh breeze was blustering down the Glen and made for excellent conditions for July. I booked in at the Glen Clova Hotel hostel (which is the weirdest fucking place I've ever stayed, I stayed 6 years ago, it was bizarre then and it's just as bizarre now. A completely enclosed airless kitchen behind the drying room, surrounded by box rooms that have a door into a shower/toilet on the outside - complete with single curtain rail to ensure the toilet gets soaked during a shower - leading into a similarly airless and lightless bunkroom cell. The faint hissing of some malignant air conditioning rounds off the prison-like claustrophobia nicely and ensures the all important unwelcome feeling and sleepless night.) Anyway, checked in, headed up the Glen, no-one there, had a great evening bouldering on my own. Unlike most Scottish areas the bouldering is actually half decent, the main problem is the guide is bollox as usual. Once I found the actual lines, I pulled hard(-ish) and felt I was training okay.


Black Dyke resident disapproving of us as much as we disapproved of him:


Day 2 was back to Rob's Reed, via a lengthy detour Aberdeenwards to check out The Black Dyke. Unfortunately two of the better-looking warm-up routes were nesty and my partner was not inspired, so after much ummming and ahhing we went back for more training. Armed with a handwritten guide I explored more of the crag and had a better session. Pulled hard, got pumped, nearly came off one route on a wild gaston through to pocket, gritted teeth and held it. All good training for the greater Isles...

Very little climbing at various lovely crags.

Climbing trips - sometimes you win 'em, sometimes you lose 'em. Recently I've won a few, so in the grand karmic balance it's not that surprising to lose one.

In recent years I've become very inspired by the Caithness area - lovely looking sea-cliff outcrops, reasonable approaches, peaceful area, benevolent (for Scotland!!) climate, what's not to like?? Finally I got up there butr due to various circumstances the promised mega-ticking-trip didn't happen. The climate had a moment of malevolence, mixing midges and mizzle in equal quantities - it was climbable, but not captivating conditions. And there were issues with the abseil approaches and a loose block falling onto my partner's (thankfully helmeted) head. Despite this there is a lot of great looking stuff there and the few routes I did confirmed the quality. On the plus side, I got a good recce of many great routes, the Wick campsite is very nice and very cheap, and there's a good curry house in town.

In recent days I've become extremely inspired by the Caithness area....and will be back soon!!

Retreat was beaten via: Strathconnon - okay but too hot and too midgey; Cummingston - kinda cool but too late and too greasy; Cullen Caves - ugly choss but good fun power bouldering, unfortunately Cullen Skink in Cullen was somewhat disappointing; Luath Boulders - nice rock but rubbish micro-bouldering; and finally Glen Clova - lovely evening, fairly inspiring, but so knackered due to low-level gayflu that I quit after seconding a couple of routes.

Thusly a rather flaccid non-celebration of midsummer. Long trip, lots of crags, little climbing. Best just to view this as a recce and recuperation time - I think a wee break to let the gayflu settle, then a guns blazing return with maximum SYKE is the best plan. Raaargh.