Lines Of Lust

Inspiration + desire + challenge + exploration + variety...

Lewis:
Dalbeg:
Tweetie Pie Slalom  E5 6a ***
Limpet Crack  E3 5c ***
Neptune  E2 5c ***
Blessed Are The Weak  E5 6a ***
Various routes

Mangestra:
The Prozac Link  E4 5c ***
Various routes

Skye:
Neist:
Supercharger  E3 5c **
Wish You Were Here  E2 5b ***
Have A Nice Day  E3 6a **
Golden Shower  E4 5c ***
American Vampire  E4 6a ***
Fight Club  E3 6a ***

Rubha Hunish:
Whispering Crack E3 5c ***
Northern Exposure E2 5b ***

Elgol:
Digitalis E3 5c ***
Mother's Pride E4 5c ***

Staffin Slip:
Various routes.

Caithness:
Sarclet:
Occam's Razor E4 6a ***
A Paddler's Tale E3/4 5c ***

Reiff:
Headstrong E4 5c **
Wyatt Earp E3 6a ***
Crack Of Desire E3 6a ***
Various routes

Wester Ross:
Tollie Crags:
Each Uisge Direct  E4 6a ***
Murray's Arete  E3/4 5c *
The Shimmer  E4 6a **

Loch Tollaidh Crags:
Flag Iris  E4 5c **
Various routes.

Stone Valley Crags:
Demon Razor  E3 5c *
Flashing Blade  E3 6a **

Gruinard Crags:
How The West Was Won  E3 5c **
Stand And Deliver  E4 6a **

Diabeg:
Edgewood Whimper  E4 5c **
Porpoise Pun  E3 5c **
Wall Of Flame  E4 6a ***
Instant Muscle  E4 6a **
Rough Justice  E2 5c *

Glen Nevis:
On Some Beach  E5 6a ***
Freddie Across The Mersey  E5 6a **
Crackattack  E3 5c ***
Mutant  E4 5c **
Triode  E5 6a **
Risque Grapefruit  E4 5c **
Fingertip Finale  E4 5c *
Precious Cargo  E5 6a *

Creag Dubh:
Colder Than A Hooker's Heart  E5 5c **
Harder Than Your Husband  E5 6a **
The Final Solution  E5 6a **
Acapulco  E4 5c ***
Bratach Uaine  E4 6a ***
Case Dismissed  E3 6a ***
Ayatollah  E4 6a ***

North East:
Moray Coast:
The Prow  E5 6a **
The Essential  E3 5c ***
Senakot Rose  E4 6a **
Old Fashioned Waltz  E3 5c *

Aberdeen Coast:
Red Army Blues  E4 6a **
Downies' Syndrome E4 6a **
Sair Fecht  E3 6a **
The Pugilist  E4 6a ***
Johnsheugh routes
Various other routes

Pass Of Ballater:
Peel's Wall  E4 6a ***
Smith's Arete  E5 6a ***

Central Highlands:
Glen Lednock:
No Place For A Wendy  E2 5b ***
Pole-Axed  E4 6a **
Gabrielle  E4 6a *
Diamond Cutter  E3 6a ***

Glen Croe:
Edge Of Insanity  E4 5c **
Short Sharp Shock  E4 6a **

 ...so much of it, and so little dry weather.

This is is partly to remind myself and partly to keep aware what I need to train for.

Sweden the photos.

Bivvy hut in front of the lake.

Lake in front of the bivvy hut.

Typical walk-in at Seglora.

The amazing Afterburner.

More Afterburner.

How can anyone possibly resist??

Typically chilled out climbing vibes at Galgeberget.

Weekly washtime!

View out from Svaneberget.

Nice route at Utby in Gothenburg itself.

Same.

And another nice route at Utby.

Same. Funky rock there.

Dunno what it is but in the words of my mum: "looks friendly tho;-)"

Dude where does the line go??

Somehow not getting too lost...

Sweden the ticklist.

Bohuslan:
(5 days climbing)

Skalefjall:
En Liten Bit Granit 6 **
Granitebiten 7- ***
Machete 6 *

Hallinden:
Prismaster 6- *** (second)
Afterburner 6+ **

Fjedan:
Petroleum 5+ ** (s)
Bideford Dolphin 5- * (s)

Galgeberget:
Galgen 6- *
Ater Komsten 4+ ** (s)
Ballabaget 6+ **

Haller:
Mallorol 6- ***
Chapman 6 **

Granite Grotto:
??? F6c
Spektakel F6a
Islandshäst 6b+ **

Norden's Ark:
Jarven 5+ *
Snoleoparden 6+ **

Svanberget:
Hostsonaten 6+ **
Bergkirstis Polka 6- ***

Hogberget:
Lattja 6+ **


Utby:
(1 day climbing)

Snett A Vanster 6 ***
Ants In My Pants 6- ** (s)
Panda 6- ***
??? 5+ * (s)
Bagarmossen 6 *
Svara Diedret 6- **

Seglora:
(2 days climbing)

Punsch 6-
Kronartskolkans Flykt 7-
Delikatessan 7-
Kastrationsangest 7-
Ankedammen 7
Vino Tinto 6
Gasa Marsch 6
Basalt 6
Gettingen 6-
Arponas Planet 7-
Blackfisken 6+
Mluda Matilda 7
Matildas Groggveranda 7
Bjorn Sover 7-
Svartenbrandt 7-
Arkiv X 6+
Lenas Led 6-

Kullaberg:
??? 5- **

Sweden the country.

• Everyone drives a Volvo. Usually an estate. This is great.


• Unlike the UK, most people do not drive like complete fucking morons. This is good.


• There seems to be no national radio station devoted to minimal techno 24 hours a day. This is very bad.


• All Swedish people speak good English and are usually very helpful. This is a revelation that British people could learn from.


• Unfortunately there are no English signs anywhere at all, for anything. Although "toalett" and "stopp" are mercifully comprehensible.


• All Swedish children are very blonde and seem very happy.


• Most Swedish women are very blonde and wear very short shorts.


• Everything is extremely expensive. The only exceptions being pre-grated cheese and low-alcohol beer.


• Supermarket meatballs are fairly average and I can't eat a whole packet of them.


• Restaurant meatballs can be very awesome.


• South-West Sweden consists entirely of fields, pine forests, lakes/inlets, and small lumps of granite.


• In Bohuslan, those small lumps of granite can be very awesome.

2011.4

8. Climb a few F7a+s.

Some inspiring and challenging sport routes to aim for, and what I might need to do / improve / be prepared for.

I expect some of these will be particularly challenging given the stamina, fitness, and strength required, and in particular the luck required with onsighting harder sport. Nevertheless the choice and general quality of these routes gives me plenty to go at, and if I feel fit enough then they will be worth a try.

General requirements: Falling practise, stamina, falling practise, fitness, falling practise, route reading on varied rock, falling practise, falling practise.

Persistence Of Vision, Dumby - needs: very cold and dry conditions, someone to give it a brush first, finger strength, basalt technique, falling practise.

High Pitched Weem, Weem - needs: finger / crimp / deadhanging strength, fitness and stamina, 30 degree training, climbing speed.

Screaming Weem, Weem - needs: as above.

Grand Theft Auto, Rob's Reed - needs: fitness and stamina, good conditions, training on bad holds.

Sun City, Cambus O May - needs: dry breezy weather, crimp strength, fitness and stamina, dynamism, careful footwork training.

Sticks And Stones, Cambus O May - needs: as above.

Paralysis By Analysis, The Camel - needs: route reading, stamina, route reading, stamina, more stamina, decent conditions, climbing speed.

Mactallah, Goat Crag - needs: cool weather, stamina, strength, route reading.

Yosemite Wall, Malham - needs: cool weather, stamina, strength, footwork on polished holds.

Appetite, Malham - needs: as above.

Plus lots of supporting F7as at Chapel Head Scar etc etc.

2011.3

7. Climb a few E5s.

Some inspiring and challenging trad routes to aim for, and what I might need to do / improve / be prepared for.

It is worth noting that having had a good look at almost all of these, I am SYKED ;) Inspiration >>> challenge >>>> grade.

Nijinski, Auchinstarry - needs: very cool dry conditions, practise with friction/slab/arete climbing.

Purrblind Doomster, Cambusbarron - needs: dry breezy weather, practise finger jamming, speed and precision with gear, falling practise.

Anger Management, Cambusbarron - needs: dry breezy weather, bouldering power for start, fitness, good gear planning.

On The Beach, Polldubh - needs: morning shade, good route reading, fitness for first crack, mental stamina.

Freddie Across The Mersey, Polldubh - needs: similar to above.

Triode, Polldubh - needs: cool breezy day, even better route reading, practise on slabs and bad holds.

Colder Than A Hooker's Heart, Creag Dubh - needs: good technique, schist-familiarity, deadhanging / crimping strength, fitness.

The Final Solution, Creag Dubh - needs: overall fitness and stamina, deadhanging / crimping strength, rapid gear finding.

Smith's Arete, Ballater - needs: cool fresh conditions, bouldering / arete practise, short term power endurance, flexibility, quick gear placing.

Neart Nan Gaidheal, Ardmair - needs: fitness and stamina, quick and careful gear placing, falling practise.

Spirit Air, Loch Maree Crag - needs: lots of fitness and stamina, route reading, crimp strength, mental stamina, good weather.

2011.2

Exploration plans, ideas and inspirations to work on.



I've seen him live at the Cold Meat Industry festival years ago. Pretty cool stuff, although better as bedtime listening music.

Last year I did pretty well with exploring cool places, although was hampered by the Scottish weather, some disorganisation, and a shocking amount of faff that prevented a summer trip. This year I want to get MORE ORGANISED. I have a better idea of when I can go places, a better network of climbing partners, and a pleasingly decreasing list of Scottish venues. Thus...

2. Get to somewhere interesting over Easter (Pedriza? Alscace?), and over summer (Scandinavia? South Africa? Hatun Machay?). - needs: plan in advance, find similarly motivated partners, investigate areas fully (including travel, accomodation, car hire, guidebooks, weather options etc), book soon to make firm committments and keep costs down.

3. Week long trip to Lewis, several days sea-cliffing in Skye, long weekend in Caithness, long weekend in Mull over winter/spring. - needs: plan trips firmly but flexibly with similarly motivated partners, make such plans a priority over lesser plans, have all the relevant information to keep the costs low.

4. Get to Merionydd & Lleyn when weather is bolleaux in Scotland. - needs: keep in touch with suitable climbing partners near those areas, keep checking the weather there, make such plans a priority over "normal" Scottish areas.

5. Keep exploring cool places in Scotland. - needs: keep in touch with similarly motivated partners, make positive plans, take advantage of any weather windows, have good plan Bs.

6. Explore more bouldering over winter: Torridon, Reiff, Skye, Mull, Inverness, Aberdeen, Trossachs, Northumberland, Carrock Fell, Gouther, St Bees. - needs: early starts not to waste petrol, sensible planning with training and skin conditions, knowledge of where to stay for multi-day trips.

2011.1

General climbing related issues to work on and improve.

As always the main challenges with climbing - not just my climbing, almost anyone's climbing - apart from the utterly crucial personal psychology are WEATHER and PEOPLE (I still aspire to join the ranks of those very fortunate people who have a good local scene of similarly-syked partners...). For me there is the additional challenge of FITNESS which has been an uphill battle since DVTs preventing some simple exercises. Weather is both uncontrollable and malicious (ah, if only it was just one of those!), so can only be worked around with knowledge, readiness and flexibility. The others can be worked on directly...

1. Keep in touch with friends and partners better and organise myself more proactively. - needs: reply promptly to partners in whatever media and don't put off emails, always reply even when unavailable, accept invites if I'm free just for the social side (if suitable), try plans with regular partners I already know before asking on UKC, try to be a good partner myself, make plans in advance with the option to change them rather then leaving them until the last minute.

9. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall. - needs: get in routine of exercise, make it logistically convenient to fit into life, use workouts that are beneficial but easy to be motivated for, try to do gym work that compliments wall work and pool work and vice versa, go with current inclinations rather than worrying about specifics (better to go and do a sub-optimal workout than not go at all), stretch regularly after showers, download more ruff and rude drum and bass MP3 mixes...

10. Lose 1 stone via the above. - needs: watch diet - eat smaller portions, be aware of and avoid overeating, avoid fatty convenience food, maximise enjoyment of healthier foods, drink lots of water, make exercise and healthy eating part of routine.

2011.0

2010 felt like returning to some sort of normality - adjusting to life after DVTs, getting back into climbing after that time out, and settling into Scotland after a rough and rocky move to Glasgow. I'm still quite a way from the sort of normality I want to live in, including in climbing exploration, travelling, fitness, pro-activity, action, and social life. I'm intending 2011 to be a year of building determinedly on last year's foundations, and revelling in the pleasure and personal happiness that will bring.

So far I have completely failed to start doing that and have mostly been behaving in the opposite way to how I'd like to and what brings me pleasure. I'm hoping setting out some intentions will encourage me to have more focus...

Climbingwise my intentions are as follows:

1. Keep in touch with friends and partners better and organise myself more proactively.

2. Get to somewhere interesting over Easter (Pedriza? Alscace?), and over summer (Scandinavia? South Africa? Hatun Machay?).

3. Week long trip to Lewis, several days sea-cliffing in Skye, long weekend in Caithness, long weekend in Mull over winter/spring.

4. Get to Merionydd & Lleyn when weather is bolleaux in Scotland.

5. Keep exploring cool places in Scotland.

6. Explore more bouldering over winter: Torridon, Reiff, Skye, Mull, Inverness, Aberdeen, Trossachs, Northumberland, Carrock Fell, Gouther, St Bees.

7. Climb a few E5s.

8. Climb a few F7a+s.

9. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall.

10. Lose 1 stone via the above.

I'll write more about some of these in following updates.

It's really great at Inverpollaidh Rock Gym!

And the winner of the Best Designed Crag 2010 Award is....

Inverpollaidh Rock Gym

• Great steep mid-grade gneiss wall climbing - check


• Good holds and good gear and good routes - check


• South west facing so plenty of sun and fresh breeze - check


• Idyllic flat grassy base - check


• Gorgeous location complete with sea-view - check


• Enough of a walk to keep the drones away, but flat and non-tiring - check

I've been wanting to go to Inverpollaidh for years, god knows how many years. I think I saw it in a magazine article and I know I was inspired by it straight away. The epitome (well, one of them) of delightful Scottish cragging. Many years later, on a particularly fine October day, I finally got there and as usual my hunches and inspirations are spot on - it does exactly what it says - I got really quite giddy when we popped around the corner and saw just how nice the setting was. The routes aren't anything radical nor outstanding, but it's all good and a great mileage crag.

This particular gem was part of a very pleasant weekend away with Phil, Mumbi, and Inverpollaidh tour guide and local strong lass Tess Fryer (much needed as the walk-in is entirely blind - but I know the secrets now ;)). In fact the weekend started early with a long overdue visit from The World Famous Helen Rogers - famous for running more businesses than the city of London, and for an unhealthy penchant for crabwise traversing. I tried to cure her of this with a Friday morning session at Dumby, but disappointingly she got on with it quite well, there weren't any tears and she nimbly outwitted most of the more heinous highballs (although did get successfully fooled into The Blue Meanie). I dropped Lady R off at Glasgow Queen Street at 1:20, and got to the far side of Ullapool at exactly 5:20. Just enough time for a bit of beach bouldering at Ardmair...


Saturday was Inverpollaidh, Sunday Phil needed to check out some sandstone, and wisely chose the infinitely superior Ardmair over Reiff. This provided a good contrast and the usual seemingly unlimited supply of strong, steep and well-featured climbing. The classic Skeletons was dry for a change, so I did that. However the previous days started to take their toll (campussing Wed, 1km swim Thu, two bouldering sessions Fri, long trad day Sat...) and we decided to leave after a few routes to go bouldering. Thus finishing the weekend with a quick session at Rhue which is more like gritstone than gritstone is - brutal rounded pebbly nonsense that I moved 200 miles to avoid having to climb!! Still good fun tho. Fish and chips and back to Glasgow in 3:40 somehow. Long may the cragging weekends continue!


The view from Ardmair. Not bad for the Highlands in October...

Swift strike on superb Skye!!

AT LAST!! My 3 main goals for this year were Skye, Lewis, and Caithness, and in the last round, last minute of "summer", I finally managed to get a couple of days exploring the Skye sea-cliffs, and yup I was right they are awesome and well worth visiting, as is the island itself but everyone knows that.

The forecast was glorious and sunny so on 2 out of the 3 days at Neist it was grey bleak and bitterly windy - the wind however keeping occasional light drizzle well away from the rock. The other day at Elgol was generally sheltered and toastily hot in the sun until evening. We managed a good sample of excellent routes at both areas and of course I'm even keener than before to get back and to explore more!!

Things of note:

1. Neist is the furthest West point in the whole of Scotland you can drive to without taking a ferry!

2. The climbing there is really very good, better than Elgol in fact. Big sheer lines on truly superb rock in places.

3. Supercharger (yup it's that pillar) looks just as ace in real life and will be mandatory in warmer weather next year.

4. Seals are waaay too cute and need cuddling whether they like it or not.

5. Skye is pretty much it's own separate country. I'm surprised you don't need passports. I'm also surprised just how populated and civilised it is, albeit in micro-hamles in the arse end of nowhere. It also takes a long time to get anywhere, and I don't think it suits a quick autumn hit, but we did a pretty good job.

6. Skyewalker and Waterfront hostels are both nice.

7. Elgol is very nice and has a great view, the climbing is a bit more "Gogarth" than "Northumberland" in the harder climbs, but still very good.

8. Neist has a better view though, wall to wall Hebrides, awesome.

Errrrr that's it. Roll on the next settled weather spell, I'm syked :D

Warfarin second ascent.

I'm taking it. I suspect the FA was on the medication but I'd be very surprised if any subsequent ascentionists were. No anti-coag, no tick ;). I did it in one pitch on a mild still day and had the sweatiest ropedraggiest experience I've had for a long time. At one point my belayer could see sweat dripping off my back. At the end I had to crawl to the belay, hauling my own body weight on left rope. Bleh!! Good route tho, a fine adventure for an outcrop.

Backlog Blog!!

Previous weekends as follows:
Sorry for all the number bollox but it's been a decent run and I can't be arsed to write anything more interesting.

Au revoir dreams at Aonach Dubh
The last one of my trio of old, old dreams, after Edgehog and Dracula, was of course Freak Out. Like the others, I'd seen a photo years ago and just knew I had to do it. Well, I haven't, I tried and I failed. But it was an interesting failure, perhaps more interesting than success.

The climbing session hadn't started auspiciously. First there was the 3+ hour drive from Edinburgh, then the 45 minute walk-in which was a full brutal hour and a half for me, and then the warm-up route up a rather enticing wall turned into a nightmare of bad route descriptions and ambiguous lines, culminating in having to jump off after far too long on the wall. None of which boded well for an assault on Freak Out, starting at 8pm and fully knackered...

Nevertheless, once beneath the amazing line, I went along with my inspiration and summoned all my determination. The first pitch went very smoothly, and the second started well. Up into the leg-murdering non-rest under the crux roof, fiddle, reverse, repeat and rinse. Eventually commit, blast through the crux and keep blasting up the crack. Apparent good holds turned to pointless slopers as I reached them, tactics went out the window and I kept going until arriving at some big flatties before a good undercling flake. I've heard that once you feel so pumped you can't carry on, you have two moves still left in your arms. I carried on. I didn't even have 0.2 moves left in my arms...

Hanging several metres lower on the rope, a wave of agonising exhaustion swept through me. I just managed to blurt out that I needed a minute, before shuddering through a full body debilitation until I could eventually think straight. I left a couple of wires and we escaped. So, I failed. But not through cowardice or lack of committment or psychological issues - I was beaten fair and square, I gave it my all, and pushed beyond my limits. I could have done it - a few seconds gained by better tactics low down or swifter moves to the flake, but it's hardly relevant. In this case it was as interesting to fail as to succeed, although unlike the ugly and frustrating psychological failures, there is little I can learn from this - except sometimes, you do just get beaten.
Sir Chancelot E1 5b **

Calming down at Covesea
Covesea lives in the shadow of the Moray Coast Burbage Popular End duo of Cummingston and Logie Head and is grossly underrated. Tales of "underuse" and some "dirty rock" weren't enough to put me off, and as usual I was right to give it a go. Lovely location on a secluded (if not quiet, due to regular RAF Tornados) non-tidal pebble beach, a compact crag with some strong features and good mid-grade climbing. Short, accessible, punchy routes were a good tonic to the previous day's exhertions and a few surprisingly good hours sleep in the car. A better tonic came after as my partner had to meet his lad after school, the possibility of going back out to the crag turning rapidly into the possibility of watching them swim around in the harbour. Having a few hours to kill and some muscles to relax, I joined them, mostly in the ice cream and sunbathing capacity, but after witnessing his lad gleefully pushing his harbour-wall-jumping limits, I had to do the honourable thing and join them in the water - bloody freezing but bloody good fun!
Family Affair E2 5b *
Sandinasta E2 5c *
The Growl E2 5b *


Approaching Gairloch

Lovely times at Loch Tollaidh
Back to the wonderful Gairloch which remains my favourite area in Scotland. Very gneiss crags in a very nice setting! Lovely scenery and lovely climbing and you can now add a lovely cafe to that mix - The Mountain Coffee Shop in the main village provided the fuel for a day that was both action-packed and delightful. Masses of midgies chased us away from Tollie Crag, but at the breezier and sunnier Tolldaih crag there was not a single one until they swarmed at 8pm, when it was pub o'clock anyway. The climbing was ace too, involving three very different challenges - pump, hard moves, and boldness - all very rewarding.
Peweky E1 5b *
Hollow Heart E3 5c **
Heave-Ho E4 6a *
Strip Teaser E4 5c *

Rough rock at Road Crag, Beastliness at Beach Crag, Jolly good fun at Jetty Buttress
Keeping the breezy and open theme to beat the midgies, we honed that theme to "touring the most imaginatively named Gruinard Bay crags". Post in the comments what you think the above crags are named after and you probably won't win a prize... Grey weather and the odd light semi-shower called for a more moseying around day, nevertheless on most routes I got more of a challenge than I expected - but as much good outcrop quality too.
Radical Jewish E2 5c **
Armburger E2 5b **
Right Charlie E2 5c **

Crush failure at Clashfarquar
5th day on and a flying visit past the roaring Lyons.
Fiend: "What ever you want to do lass, I've had some good days out so I'll happily go along with your plans..."
Lyons: "Well I fancy looking at Clashfarquar, there's this classic 7a arete there."
Fiend: (thinks "mmmm 7a arete") "Cool, sounds good."
- after the soaking wet walk-in -
Fiend: "Fuck Amanda Lyons, fuck this walk-in, fuck Aberdeen bouldering!"
- 30 seconds later having chilled out on the boulder platform -
Fiend: "Actually this is a cool spot and a great line"
- 2 hours later after a lot of faffing and very little progress -
The Guidebook: "Clash Arete F7a+ ***"
Fiend: "Fucking 7a PLUS???? You told me it was 7a!! No wonder it's bloody hard!!"
Lyons: "Whatever, you can do 7a+..."
Fiend: "Not that bloody quickly I can't!!"
In fact not at all in that session. It is a cool spot tho...

Cool days at Creag Dubh
Day 1 was cool because it was cool i.e. bloody cold. Middle of summer so cold grey skies, ominous hazy horizons and a howling wind seem de rigeur. I even kept my t-shirt on when climbing - yes it sometimes does happen! Not very enticing conditions but I got a nice taster of the attractive (in places the grain of the rock strata is very like wood....it's nice) but challenging (in place it's steep thin and pumpy....most places!) Barrier Wall. One to come back to.
Day 2 was cool because it was cool i.e. rad and awesome dude. In keeping with consistent weather it was bloody glorious and frostbite was swapped for sunburn. 2 big routes in the sun (OTH proving rather stiff) and then one in the fresh and pleasant shade (TF proving to be pretty easy but absolutely brilliant, one of the most enjoyable climbs this year). A pretty good opening of the important Creag Dubh account.
Muph Dive E2 5c **
Jump For Joy E2 5b **
Ruff Licks E3 5c ***
Over The Hill E3 5c ***
The Fuhrer E4 5c ***

Raped skin at Ruthven
Another attempted bouldering session after a few days on, another arse-kicking. The Ruthven boulder is a mighty fine boulder in a mighty good setting. A big bold bulging monster on a flat grassy base a few minutes from the road. It is also rough as FUCK, the gneiss having that particular granitic grain that manages to combine skin-shredding coarseness with a soft-tissue-crushing crystallinity in one hardcore rock texture. Climbing-wise it is rather good, but one to go to with plenty of time and plenty of freshness. I had neither this time, but I will be back...

Leaving Ruthven

Backlog Blog!!

Previous weekends as follows:
Sorry for all the number bollox but it's been a good run and I can't be arsed to write anything more interesting.

Desires come true at Duntelchaig
Before I considered moving to Scotland, I had 3 routes I'd seen photos of that had really inspired me. I did Edgehog a few weeks ago, and then managed to get to Dracula, which really is a good steep E3 5c crack and not an HVS jamming traverse lke it looks in the photos... One more to go....soon ;). Now I have a thousand more inspirations from my being up here, though.
Dracula E3 5c ***
The All Seeing Eye Font6c ** (flash)

Awesome at Ardmair
I liked Ardmair a lot before, and I like it even more now. Apparently the home of gritty rounded rock and steep jamming sandbags....more like the home of good holds, good gear, and generous grades!
Shakedown E3 5c **
Western Skyline E4 6a **
Space Monkey E2 5c ***
Unleash The Beast E4 6a ***

Lovely day at Lochan Dubh
Originally the plan had been to go to Inverthingy Rock Gym, but since Richie had ticked the crag, we needed another option. A brisk Northerly wind precluded many of the more interesting Gairloch crags, but the sunny and scenic Lochan Dubh seemed a sensible choice. Nice to get on the gneiss, and satisfying to do some big pitches.
The Missing Link E2 5b *
Call Of The Wild E4 6a ***

Minimal respite at Moy Rock
Finally to route off a diverse weekend of schisty stuff, sandstone and gneiss, we added conglomerate into the mix, well indeed it is a mix in itself. It's always fascinated me and Inverness seems the home of UK conglomerate sport climbing. Bizarre and intriguing, who could ask for more. Well, apart from a bit more fitness and freshness after a long weekend...
Little Teaser F6b+ ***
The Dark Side F6c/+ **

Power at Portlethen
As with pretty much everywhere on the Aberdeen coast, Portlethen has shut my ass down. Time for revenge, well only a little bit - small numbers! Under the watchful eye of Mr Big Numbers - indeed the power was his this session, with a massive run of macho problems - I managed to do a couple of previous nemesii fairly steadily. So that was nice. I don't suck that much after all.
Slap And Tickle Font6b+ ** (worked)
The Prow Font6c *** (worked)

Balls conditions at Balmashanner
The lovely Lyons decided a nice sunny evening was best spent clipping bolts in a dank festering hole in the ground, and who was I to argue?? Climbing is a broad church, right?? Apart from bloody mountaineering, that's an entirely different church with it's fair share of wizened old weirdos and kiddy fiddlers. Anyway and alas, Balmashanner really was dank and festering so I warmed up on one lead and warmed down on one errr aid pitch, and that was that. Ace dinner though.
Start The Fire F6b+ **

Climbing really okay at Clashrodney
Next up for my Crushing Aberdeen weekend was a bit of a granite taster. Clashrodney is a nice place with nice climbing, most of which I avoided by sticking to steep and pokey stuff, but that was cool, it turned out to be good fun and give me some confidence. Notably the hardest route felt easy and the easier routes felt hard. Hmmm.
Yellow Peril E1 5b *
Birthday Treat E1 5b ***
Blind Faith E3 5c **

Finishing nicely at Findon Ness
Already evening but with a showery morning forecast the next day, I was determined to get a bit more out of the day, and get a bit more action on the steep and worrying metamorphic schist that spanked my arse sideways a few weeks prior. This time there was distinct progress - my plan of "lots of chalk, slam in the cams, move quick and trust to good holds" seemed to work. There was a bit of a blip going off route on the ambiguous Siva-Guru connection and sitting on the gear before realising I'd ignored a piss easy finish. I can live with that, I got way more pumped attempting the off route version and resting for 10 seconds than if I'd gone direct (a clearer description would help!) initially. Spirit of the law rather than merely the letter of the law!
Siva-guru E3 5c **
Armed Conflict E1 5b **

Mini-beasting at Munich Buttress
A recent inspiration has been the well photographed Monkey Puzzle at Longhaven Quarries. Well photographed and justifiably so as it is an ace tower of rock - strong and dramatic lines up a striking pillar. Both routes I did were brilliant, the mini-beasting came from approx 3m of crux climbing in Jammy Dodger - nope I didn't dodge the jams and yep it was the hardest bit of crack climbing I did on lead. Raaaargh.
Monkey Puzzle E3 5c **
American Route / Jammy Dodger E3 6a **

Final words from the lean and mean Aberdeen legend, regular Font 7a+ ticker, and attempted Jammy Dodger seconder Amanda Lyons:

I'LL FOOKIN' KILL YOU LITTLE MAN!!!!

:D

Hip HOP.

Pay attention to this one and trust me. If you like or even merely tolerate hip-hip-hop, you need this in your life. It is bigger than big.

Swollen Members - Armed To The Teeth

[ Listen to samples rudebwoy. ]

Swollen have always dished out some great hip-hop in their previous albums (Balance, Bad Dreams, Heavy, Monsters In The Closet & Black Magic), with deep heavy beats from Rob Tha Viking and dark quirky lyrics from Mad Child and Prevail, and they've always been a firm favourite of mine.

This album however is the next step up in dopeness. The lyrics have gone downhill a bit with much more of a gangsta style and less wierdness, although plenty of catchy choruses make up for this. The beats however are so PHAT they'd need a lifetime subscription to Weight Watchers. Not only phat but well varied from rude underground stuff to dark melodic stuff to stomping party stuff, Rob Tha Viking should be made a Saint of Sickness. Things hit the ground running with "Reclaim The Throne" and generally get better and better until track 13 "Flyest" hits and OMG BASS, I just have to rewind this one every damn time. Oh and it's all good till the end too. 2 okay tracks and 16 great ones, can't ask for much more. I listened to it 4 times in a row, nuff said. Just get it.

Perfect days at Polldubh.

One of the main, but not only, reasons for being in Scotland is to be able to explore the awesome, diverse, and beautiful cragging with normal weekend trips rather than the 8 hour missions from Sheffield. The winter, variable weather, and even more variable climbing partners has made this a sometimes frustratingly distant dream even when the crags are considerably closer. But now, spring has sprung (it's raining outside as I type), the ski season is over, and the snow and ice is finally fucking off the crags.

So the cragging season is starting (well, continuing, for me) in earnest. In the recent heatwave, I managed a 2 day dash to Polldubh. I'd been years ago, an abortive 12 hour round trip of sunshine and showers and rain and midges and general utter bollox. THIS trip was considerably better. Two days of superb sunshine and terrific temperatures and classy cragging in stunning surroundings - I'd never made it up to see Steall Falls before....how damn cool is that area?!


[Land Ahoy on Black's Buttress - 15m of intense and immaculate 5a - 5b climbing to reach the first gear. Not the sort of "gritstone legbreaking horror" I usually choose these days, but a great experience nevertheless, very interesting keeping calm on fairly steady climbing in an increasingly serious position.]

Day one I seconded plenty of easy routes until late in the evening when we trekked up to Black's Buttress and I did two great slabs. Day two we trekked up to Wave Buttress - my main inspiration - first before it got too warm, and I did the legendary Edgehog (well worn, well chalked, join the dots trade route) and the adjacent Walter Wall (no chalk, less gear, a much more satisfying journey), and then finished off lounging and belaying in the sun - I got sunburnt! In the Highlands! In spring! This is the sort of trip that makes it all worthwhile, and hopefully there'll be many more when the weather allows. Basically, even more RAD, even more SYKED :D

Going well at Great Wanney, climbing languidly at Crag Lough

So after Sicily it was onto Northumberland for Secret Squirrel's Secret Weekend - with only a minor diversion driving to fucking Glasgow to get spare climbing kit and warfarin. Thanks Ryanair you cunts, I really appreciated the extra 4 hours driving and a total of 3 hours sleep. Genuine thanks to Red Bull and to the climbing posse for being leisurely enough that I met them at the crag parking. That crag was Great Wanney (Squirrel wisely chose to base us in Bellingham to explore the equally interesting but underused southern Northumbria area), and that name filled me with a certain amount of trepidation, because I've been wanting to do the minor classic Thin Ice (below) for years and that doing probably meant getting scared and faffing and stuff.


In the end, however, it didn't mean that at all!! After warming up on the opposite route (Broken Wing - almost as good and an essential warm-up), the World Famous Helen Rogers - as well as providing the usual excellent company AND plenty of amusement getting to grips with Wanney's easy classics - was kind enough to abseil down and clean Thin Ice (north facing crag, bit of lichen, likely first ascent of the year etc etc). And so I got on it and skated up it with a quite frankly shocking lack of fuss. This might be because it's a full grade overgraded, or it might be because it was really inspiring and just drew me on - the crux (below) being the best sequence in Northumbria, surely? Or it might be because I'm climbing well....but let's not get too silly...


Next day, after actually participating in another leisurely morning of eating bacon and stroking cows (mmm cows), the remaining members of the party sampled the diversity of the area by visiting the vaguely Tremadog-esque Crag Lough and Peel Crag. My highest aspirations at this crag were also lichenous and there was no Helen Rogers to get her brush into action, so I could relax and sample some other options. Except, in the perculiar world of grades, styles, and climbing variance, both the other options I did felt as hard as anything the previous day. Good onsight challenges, and one was a great route. And that was that. Feel very chuffed, drive back to Glasgow, battered haggis and chips and SLEEP.

The map of syke.

This is on the wall opposite me, I just have to move my eyes approx 12° up and right, and there it is, clear, colourful and prominent and reminding me of what great potential and great cragging there is up here in sunny Scotland. Plus useful to correlate with forecasts, work out trips and travelling, etc etc.

Pink - suitable cragging in winter/spring.
Large inspiration: Erraid + Scoor (Mull), Creag Dubh, Aberdeen North granite, Gruinard Crags, Inverpollaidh, Caithness area.
Small inspiration:
Creag Nam Fithich, Glen Croe, Glen Ogle, Glen Lednock, Cave Crag, Glen Clova, Pass Of Ballater, Aberdeen South, Reiff, Ardmair, Ardnamurchan.

Orange - suitable cragging mostly in summer.
Large inspiration: Wave Buttress, Earnsheugh + Floors Craig + Craig Stirling (Aberdeen), Duntchelaig, Rosehearty, Loch Tollie + Loch Tolldaih (Gairloch), Sarclett, Latheronwheel, Mid Clyth, Suide Biorach (Skye), Dalbeg + Mangestra + Painted Wall + Magic Geo (Lewis).
Small inspiration: Iona, Glen Lednock, Polldubh Crags, Covesea, Reiff, Diabeg area, Sheigra area, Staffin Slip + Neist + Rubish Hunra (Skye)

Green - sport climbing.
Large inspiration: Elephant Rock, Camel Rock, Moy Rock, Gruinard River crags.
Small inspiration: Glen Ogle, Strathyre, Cave Crag, Weem, Angus quarries, Rob's Reed, Arbroath.

Blue - climbing with large walk-ins (can't do yet).
Large inspiration: The Cobbler, Aonach Dubh, Gharb Bheinn, Sron Na Chich East, Beinn Eighe East, Stac Pollaidh.
Small inspiration: Bonaid Dhonn, Creag Ghlas.

(Plus various lesser Central Belt and Lowland stuff when time/weather preclude travelling elsewhere).

Geeky?? Maybe. It took me all of 40 minutes - I often have longer shits than that. Admittedly I'm usually reading guidebooks on the bog....

So this is me...

...fucking crippled.

I've had some medical check-ups in the last few days - vascular surgeon and haematologist appointments, with the usual anti-coag and doctor's appointments in between. I had some long discussions with the vasc and haem specialists, following a second MRI Venogram in December, and the summary is:

- My IVC (main vein from my lower body to my heart) is sealed and there is no possibility of opening it (this was to be expected).
- The clots in my legs are dissolving slowly, and will continue to dissolve over the next couple of years but...
- ...they are still present and are likely to be there for years if not lifetime (this is contrary to what I was told in Sheffield).
- The iliac veins in my pelvis are completely blocked and could remain blocked permanently.
- The surrounding collateral veins are taking up the blood flow and will develop over time (a long time?).
- There is nothing chemical nor mechanical which can be done to open these veins up nor speed up the process.

All of which explains why:

- I'm currently at 30% of fitness for running, and 20% for walking uphill, there has been little progress with this.

Which fucking sucks.

As if ONE fucking sealed major vein wasn't enough.

I asked a lot of questions and got the same answers each time: There is nothing that can be done, and my body will dissolve some but probably not all of the clots over time. What fitness I'll get back is completely unknown - it is likely to be more, but no-one can predict how much more. I'll be on warfarin for life, and continuing exercising a lot will be beneficial in helping clot dissolution and over-developing the collateral veins.

All of this encourages me to train hard, push myself harder, go on more trips, explore more, and tick BIGGER FUCKING NUMBERS. As much as my often-fragile mental state will allow - but whilst this might have ruined my leg fitness, it's not ruining my life nor my climbing.

10

10 - Ten - Tenerife...

Awesome climbing trip out there. Good to glorious weather, good climbing partner, good, varied and distinctive climbing (my inspiration about it being different to the Euro-lime norm being proved right), lots of great routes (42 in total), F6c+ being the highlight quality grade of the trip (including several F6cs and F7as that were actually F6c+), climbing at 2100m in a vast crater of lava fields beneath the dominating volcano El Teide with a fierce sun and icy crisp air was an amazing day, every breath up there was a delight. Drove straight from the airport to a crag on the first evening and got up early on the last day to squeeze a few great routes in before our flights back. ACE.

Here's a photo diary: