Stronnng Fiend STRONNNG!

LOL
Not really strong, just overuse of my right hand hmmmm...

Also, have a picture of pussy:

Giddy at Gruinard, And at Ardmair.

Giddy with delight - the mission worked!

Actually I can't be bothered to do a write-up, so here are some pictures:

Saturday morning at Sail Mhor hostel. £13 a night, warm, comfy beds, good kitchen. Definitely the key to good climbing in winter.

The errr lovely Lyons at the gorgeous Gruinard bay. A minor crag but such a nice spot, this bit also wins "crag base of the year award 2009".

What Scottish winter climbing is all about!

Moody posy bollox.

Gairloch church. Drove over for a nice meal at the Old Inn. The hostel was surprisingly busy with a large hunting party who were culling deer, so I had wild venison steak at the pub in their honour.

No sun but still warm enough at Ardmair. This is Sculptress, on one the nicest HVSes in the history of mankind, go do it!

But bloody freezing (well -2'C to -5'C) around Inverness!

3/12

Bloody hell another month. Not much comment on this one really. Some climbing was fun at the end of it. Oh and there was snow.

And this month starts with snow - I'm away skiing now for a week. Very excited!!" Very syked for skiing!! Les Arcs 2000 in a 40% discounted all-in chalet!

That's all for now.

Defeat.

This morning I drove back from Font after our 4 day New Year trip there.

30+ hours driving
£180 in fuel
1 ½ days climbing
2 days walking around in drizzle and clag
5 peeling finger-tips
4 hours of bad sleep this morning

Was it worth it?

No.

It was the most promising start to a Font trip ever - driving down from Dunkirk to Paris it was -5°C all the way (apart from when it was -6), even when the sun came up, and Monday was a perfect winter sun day. There had been a last-minute forecast of "30% chance of snow showers" on Tue/Wed, which in theory shouldn't have been a problem given the icy temps and bone dry rock. But the reality defied all theory and indeed all common sense. Despite Monday night being at least -2°C if not colder, it somehow rained overnight, which promptly froze, completely fucking up the next few days. Thus Tue and Wed were spent reccing a damp forest - useful for future visits but little consolation really. We managed to find enough dry rock for a few hours bouldering before the ferry on Thu, but it was too little too late.

The company was good, the gite was good, and the food was pretty good. The one ambition I achieved was not bouldering but eating: I finally cooked myself some horse - with Sloper's recommendation on the cooking method - and it was surprisingly mild and melt-in-the-mouth tender. Hurrah. But having an exciting, celebratory, New Year's bouldering trip in the Forest dissolve away into grey, damp, retreat was pretty shit. I'd like to be more philosophical about this but a combination of frustration, cheesemares, long late night drives and general knackeredness has left me feeling pretty bleak today.

When this passes, I'll be able to take in the New Year more, and have some positive, productive thoughts on it.

Nemesis.

Today I drove back to the Slipstones to attempt Sulky Little Boys again, exactly a month after my previous session on it.

3+ hours driving
£20 in fuel
3+ hours attempting that one problem
5 tender fingers
2 bleeding tips
1 month setback on my elbow healing

Was it worth it?

No.

I didn't do the problem, I didn't particularly enjoy the process of trying, and I learnt very little about climbing nor myself. However, apart from a few briefly very fustrating moments getting extremely close to the finishing pocket, I didn't particularly dislike trying it, nor am I particularly upset about not doing it despite the vast amounts of effort put in. I am a bit upset about how much my elbow hurts afterwards, given on the last session it was okay - although this session was considerably longer and harder on me.

Other than that, it is what it is, i.e. very hard for me and I didn't do it this time... Although I got a much better sequence, albeit too late - I finished trying well into it being pitch black! Which incidentally gave one issue of note: on the final night time attempts, with holds scarcely visible, I managed to get most limbs smoothly into the desired position without being able to see them, clearly a function of intimate familiarity with how it feels. Which was interesting.

Overall....I just feel tired after this. Tired and neutral. I might not have done it, but at least was a hollow defeat...

November...

Hmmmm. While I was musing on this very Novembery update, I had a cool Drum'n'Bass track going around my head, by Norwegian hotshots Future Prophecies - Norway being the home of a couple of top class electronic acts i.e. Teebee and Biosphere, both of which I am a big fan of, in fact maybe it is time for a Norway-themed listening phase which would fit pretty well with the November vibe which was supposed to be the whole point of this rambling intro. Anyway the Future Prophecies track which I thought was called November is actually called September - two months out but have a listen anyway...

Future Prophecies - September

...because it kinda sums up the vibe at the moment, maybe a bit too cheerfully* but there's a hint of melancholy and wistfulness which is certainly relevant.

With curious precision, the exciting wintry end to October has abruptly shifted to a grim, damp start to November. Looking outside, it's very dull, very drizzly, very....devoid of meteorological distraction. Thus it forms a grey mirror of personal reflection, an empty canvas for one's thoughts....in the same way that the neutral grey/brown of gritstone radically changes personality with the weather around it, hostilely bleak on a grey day, warmly welcoming in the autumn evening sun...

My thoughts - the low cloud and mist shows back to me - are fairly turbulent, as often happens: An overactive and underexercised mind reacting to turbulent times. Reacting....fighting....rather than accepting?? I have always said that climbing is a metaphor to life, that climbing reflects and accentuates life - what you have in your life, you bring to your climbing. God knows how I've ever managed to climb at all well!! - but that's not the point. The point is more about the challenge and learning and that the lessons presumably go both ways. The fact is, I have climbed at all well (something I value during these times too, as well as during the pleasurable and thrilling and intriguing experience of when it happened - having done something of personal significance, I still have a certain (surprising) level of relaxation and lack of pressure about what I do now - as long as I keep going and keep experiencing, that is), and although it was a long, drawn-out battle, obviously something worked!! So what will work the other way?? Well, that's for me to work out and deal with...


(* perhaps, continuing the theme of suitable music prefixed with the letters No-, I should put on some of the mighty and utterly dark Nordvargr instead?? Maybe...)

Gaaaagh!!

Bloody melting yesterday afternoon. Yomped down and up to Ravenstones to vaguely help out with the Moorland Grit guidebook team. Despite this dark, North-facing, shady crag having a seemingly sensible reputation for being cold, the team cunningly persuaded me to climb on the few routes in the evening sun, AND keep my t-shirt on (both factors to do with "good light and colours for photos" or something like that).

The result: much incompetence, weakness, faffing, fingertips boiling in their own micro-pools of sweat, grinding off rounded holds and jams, dismal failure and a lot of swearing. Not my finest moment. In fact one of my un-finest moments for a long while (and this during a summer that has been consistently devoid of fineness).

ARSE.

Elbow.

Current status:

Mid-Feb 2008: Tweaked elbow (golfer's elbow, join of the tendon inside my forearm to the bony spur at my elbow) bouldering indoors. Elbow felt fine afterwards and kept climbing.
Feb - March 2008: Continued climbing but a mild pain started to build up. Eased off climbing in proportion to pain, but pain continued and worsened.
April - May 2008: Realised (far too late) that I was getting properly injured and eased off climbing a lot more. Pain stayed at a constant level.
June - July 2008: Mostly rested for six weeks until mid-July, started therapeutic exercises.
July - Sept 2008: Eased back into climbing at up to 50% of my usual physical limit. Pain still present and initially no better than before rest. Slowly pain seems to alleviated a little but still prominent and variable.

Physio recommendations:

Physio 1:
- Any climbing usage is likely to re-damage it and slow down or inhibit healing.
- Taking 3 months total rest would likely be a good way to let it heal.
- Intensity of climbing is not so relevant, even gentle use is damaging.
- Recommends icing after any exercise.
- Recommends regular massage with ibuprofen gel.
- Recommends use of an epiclasp restraint below injury site.
- Therapies listed below are all useful although eccentric exercises should be mild.

Physio 2:
- Climbing at up to 50% will be fine for my elbow and possibly beneficial in conjunction with other therapies.
- It will take several months to regain a good level of strength.
- Total rest is not necessary providing I am disciplined.
- Ibuprofen is not recommended for long-term healing.
- There may be some issues with my shoulder / back that should be treated.
- Therapies listed below are all useful.
- Recommends taping and being cautious with epiclasp usage.

Physio 3:
- Climbing at up to 50% will be fine for my elbow and possibly beneficial in conjunction with other therapies.
- It will take several months to regain a good level of strength.
- Total rest would actually be less recommended due to loss in strength and dangers of building back up from scratch.
- If pain is prominent I should drop the level I'm climbing at rather than stop.
- If iced water feels better than icing, I should stick with ice water.
- Ibuprofen does inhibit the healing process (reduces white blood cells).
- Recommends taping across the injury site.
- Therapies listed below are useful.

Other sources (e.g. Dave Mac's writing etc):
- Iced water recommended.
- Ibuprofen not recommended.
- Therapeutic exercises all recommended.

Current therapeutic practices:

1. Ice water bath 2 x 30 minutes daily.
2. Eccentric wrist curls 2 x 3 sets x 10 reps, 5 days per week.
3. Reverse wrist raises 2 x 2 sets x 20 reps, 5 days per week.
4. Press-ups 2 x 20 reps, 5 days per week and/or after climbing.
5. Massage and stretching 2 x 10 minutes daily.
6. Massage before and after climbing.
7. Ice after climbing (or ice water if ice does not alleviate pain).
8. Climb only up to 50% of physical limit and avoid anything further.

(Note that I probably do half as much of the therapeutic practices as is recommended)

In my actual experience:

Good (i.e. less pain):
- Iced water
- Massage
- Eccentric exercises then massage
- Taping across elbow
- Random days when I wake up and it feels fine

Indifferent:
- Climbing steadily (more tender to pressure later in climbing session but reduced to normal within a day)
- Epiclasp below injury site
- Taking ibuprofen when climbing (reduces pain but reduces healing)

Bad (i.e. more pain):
- Sleeping on it funny and waking up with random pain
- Any obviously harder pulling
- Strenuous gardening / DIY
- Regular icing i.e. ice pack

Finally...

What I've done in the last couple of months is monitor the pain and what I can do on the elbow carefully (those being the only - and vague - indications I have of what is going on), and to seek as much advice as possible from different sources. I take all that advice, mix it all together, see what comes out as the average, and then tally that against my physical instinct and what it actually feels like. That more people have said "keep going" than have said "rest completely", I'm not taking that as gospel nor as a carte blanche to climb lots - I realise that caution and discipline are essential. Based on this I am going to keep climbing at a low level, perhaps reducing the level a bit, but making sure that I rest as much as possible and do the therapeutic practices as much as possible.

Un-niversary.

(Last weekend, but still relevant...).

17th August 2007 - the dismal sodding 2007 summer ends, as I start off an excellent Indian Autumn of high quality inspiring climbing throughout the whole of the UK for a few great and reassuring months. A significant date as the start of a period that confirmed that I can climb what truly inspires me (2006 started that, 2007 eventually confirmed it).

17th August 2008 - the dismal sodding of 2008 summer continues unabated, as I visit a minor Lancs quarry with the intention of continuing getting some mileage in to try to retain some climbing fitness and compensate for still being utterly fucking crippled by my elbow injury, only to find it's seeping and despite the forecast being better than the previous day, there's showers coming in already. Retreat to even more minor Peak limestone crag to try to salvage something out of the day and fail on piss-easy route that I would have considered an trivial warm-up last year.

Failure, dismal fucking failure, how much do I hate it?? This time I had the decency to descend into a proper swearathon temper tantrum (something which I'd sort of grown out of....but needs must...). Unlike previous "dismal fucking failures on piss-easy routes that would have been trivial warm-ups before", this was not a case of laziness and not being bothered - I'd actually set a firm intention to climb this route and climb it well. This was the familiar (and despised): cowardice, lack of commitment, inability to deal with stress, spiralling negativity, etc etc. Which always drives me almost speechless with anger and upset, and this time is no exception. Although the route was insignificant compared to others, the whole purpose of this "mileage" time is to get into good practise, good habits, to climb well in preparation for an eventual return to fitness. The whole point of THIS ROUTE was to climb it well (which I didn't), deal with the stress (which I didn't), and to get into a habit of positive climbing (which I didn't).

So an un-auspicious continuation of the debacle...

(For reference, going back in the years: 17th August 2006: pissing around in the summer heat, although sandwiched between a trip to Ceuse and some cool exploration in the South-West; 17th August 2005: broken foot, still unable to walk properly, okay THAT was more shit! albeit after a great trip to South Africa; 17th August 2004: general depression following accidents and stuff, another fairly poor pottering summer; 17th August 2003: general good climbing for the time; 17th August 2002: pretty cool exploration around North Wales and elsewhere; 17th August 2001: just getting back into climbing....mileage on summer grit would you believe it.)

Can someone please fix my elbow and the weather so I have some positive stuff to blog about, ta!!

Negativity??

This blog might seem a bit negative at the moment. Sorry if that makes it less palatable. To explain, it is mostly a reflection of current events / current status and how I feel about them.

I am not really a negative person, but I'm not specifically a positive one either. I think I am fairly neutral, and fairly prone to both negative and positive moods, often (but not always) dependent on circumstances around and how I deal with and react to them. However, at least I am usually aware of my moods, something I've learnt (and continue learning) and something well worth striving for.

So the current circumstance, particularly in the climbing arena (this a climbing blog....but with reason, climbing is a massive part and pleasure of my life) is a difficult and sometimes unpleasant one - hence my mood in response to that can be negative. Although I try to seek positives (in it....or instead of it), not always successfully.

Thus what I write is a fair reflection of what IS, NOW. But hopefully that will change and improve!!

Instead...

Painting toy soldiers doesn't really "go" with climbing, AND it's generally frowned upon as nerdy boring etc etc. Which naturally gives me some encouragement to celebrate my enthusiasm for the hobby out of sheer perverse belligerence if nothing else :). Anyway this is something I've done instead of climbing recently (it really isn't bad for my elbow). It took a long time but I like what I've done. More pics here.


As you can see these things are pretty small.

That's all for now.

Hmmmm.

I've decided I really don't like this "being injured" business.

Aside from the obvious issues of being unable to climb properly, unable to push myself, unable to do many of the more physical facets of climbing, unable to train when the weather is poor, of being
hampered in my desires and plans, of struggling to stay fit and physically active, and of not having the FUN that a climbing lifestyle entails... Aside from all that, it is more detrimental than I thought.

Firstly, I feel increasingly distant from the climbing scene and climbing community (I have less to discuss and share as usual and less lure to being involved) and sometimes from some climbing friends and acquaintances too, whose company I'm not sharing because I can't share what we most have in common. It seems strange how quickly one can go from feeling involved to feeling almost forgotten.

Secondly, I find it frustrating just how much a proper injury hampers you. I still keep up with the climbing media, obviously, I read and watch and learn and feel inspiration. But it is all for nothing if you can't actually do it. All discourse on training and progression and psychology and inspiration....it is all irrelevant if you literally cannot get on rock and pull hard.

Thirdly, not climbing is not good for my well-being. It is an activity and lifestyle I find enriching on many levels, from the pleasure of movement to the personal progress of tackling challenges, to the richness of being involved in an intense activity outdoors. Without partaking in it....I feel somewhat diminished.

ON THE PLUS SIDE however, at least the weather is variable enough (it seems the same pattern as last year - very good late spring, poor and showery early summer....will it have the same glorious dry autumn?? I hope!!) that the all-important exploratory away trips would have been a bit tricky anyway. It is as good a time to rest as any (i.e. not really a good time, but a better time now than back in May when Scotland was on the cards). And I've got other stuff to do and some friends around and stuff....it's okay I guess.

Ivy.

Snailpot says:
I think you should write about the ivy in your blog

Okay... I've been having to sort out some ivy recently - got a serious ivy problem at the Fiend crib. Approximately 1/3 of the way through this epic task, I have achieved the following injuries:

1. Chipped tooth after pulling something off and hitting myself in the jaw.
2. Gashed chest after getting stabbed by a broken ivy branch.
3. Possibly damaged rib/sternum from the force of that same stabbing.
4. Cuts over my lower legs.
5. Friction burn on my shoulder.
6. Sore throat and rough lungs from breathing in dust and shit.
7. Increased pain in my elbow injury (definitely worse than most easy trad climbing).
8. Stomach ache due to the bile this stupid activity raises in me.

And can draw the following conclusions:

1. I fucking hate gardening (I knew this already though).
2. I fucking hate ivy.

It is an pointless, insidious, uncontrollable, mindlessly malevolent, destructive, offensive, house/property-raping bitch of a plant. Anyone who plants some under some deranged pretence that "it looks nice" or "it will make the property more homely" or other such bullshit, needs shooting. And the person who planted here, well they need shooting by ME. Repeatedly. In the genitals.

I wish there was some way I could exact more revenge on this stupid fucking vegetable other than tearing the whole damn lot down, chainsawing the roots to nothing, letting it all dry out and burning it to fucking ash, but I don't think there is. Not without taking more pointless, life-wasting, effort, which is partly what I hate in the first place.

Anyone know any napalm wholesalers??

Noise annoys...

Not entirely sure whether to pollute a mostly climbing blog with non-climbing ramblings. But then again why not. Can't make it much worse!

I went down to London this weekend (non-climbing weekend, resting elbow). Visited family, had some nice meals, did a bit of shopping, bought a new beanie (more on this later)...

...went to a live noise gig. And by noise, I mean noise, howling, pulsing, tearing static noise from 3 acts: The legendary "Godfather Of Japanoise", Merzbow; confrontational power-electronics veterans Sutcliffe Jugend; and low-key dark noise ambient act Satori (side-project of the owner of Coldspring records, who part organised this gig and are pretty much the hub of the dark ambient / industrial / noise / dark experimental scene in the UK).

Now, although I like many genres of electronic music, and extreme music in general, I'm not a real fan of noise music. I don't see any problem with noise per se, it is just another musical tool that can be used, abused, and crafted into something pretty stimulating and ear-catching. And in a few noise pieces, particularly with strong rhythms and a good balance across the tonal range, I find it works and can sound pretty good. In many others, where the noise is abstract and mashed up, I find it purposeless and it leaves me entirely disinterested. Thus I dabble a bit without following the genre.

Nevertheless, Merzbow (below) is effectively the god of noise music, so I felt I had to go to this gig, a once in a lifetime experience through opportunity....or more likely choice :).


And? Well, it was pretty cool. As you'd expect. Not a painfully unlistenable waste of time, and not a transcendentally mind-blowing experience. Just pretty cool.

It was interesting to see the 3 different acts (Satori: no stage show, fairly clean mixture of harsh noise and dark ambient passages, some good rhythms; SJ: strong stage presence with middle-aged man howling obscenities - a bit sad and laughable really - some interesting noise and fairly entertaining; Merzbow: amusingly intense Japanese focus, some strong rhythmic bits and some bewildering ear-splitting bits), interesting to see the usual crowd of goths, metallers, frightening bald blokes with huge beards, worryingly hot goth chicks, worryingly weird goth chicks, a fair proportion of nerds (who doubtless find some deep intellectual meaning in this nonsense that I don't), an appropriately prominent Japanese contingent, and the obligatory middle-aged men in sober dress. All somberly watching the various performances with admirable dedication and civility. As always it gets me wondering: "What do these people actually really like in this racket??"

Perhaps a more pertinent question: What do *I* actually really like in this racket?? Well aside from the performance/crowd interest above, the bits I musically enjoyed were anything with strong pounding rhythms and deep bass, which come across great in the live enviroment, some of the noise when it wasn't too jarring over the top of that, and some of the dedication of the performance. Which is enough for me.

Incidentally I'm listening to a Merzbow CD as I type this (I got into the spirit of things and bought it at the gig), and some of it is pretty cool. The rhythmic bits, as you'd guess ;).

Things to do...

...that I'd actually like to do, with people, instead of climbing.

Outdoor active

Skiing -

Running -

Exploring & dicking around in the countryside -

Hillwalking -

Scuba-diving -

Paintball -

Alton Towers -

Indoor (semi)active

Dry-slope / indoor skiing -

Swimming / saunaing -

Ice-skating -

Clubbing -

Playing pool -

Bowling -

Indoor chilled

Board games -

Card games -

Eating out -

Eating in -

Watching DVDs -

Cinema -

Art galleries -