Apologies in advance for a crass, shallow, narcissistic number-based post. I try to allow myself only one of these lapses per year and I think this year warrants it. Apologies also for a very delayed and fairly dry blogpost. Aside from climbing I've been more inspired to make Quake maps than I have to write stuff.
Anyway, I'm belatedly celebrating the end of Sendtember (yes it actually was one this year), particularly given health contexts. Rewinding a few months ago:
23rd June - Seaside Premiere - somehow I'd dragged myself down feeling like a walking corpse. A combination of depression and another recurrent nausea bout left me the worst I'd felt for decades. In tears on Friday, driving down on Saturday full of despair, dreading the premiere as I'd be looking at the old Fiend wondering who the hell he was, in tears on Sunday morning too. Walking into Chee Dale looking at humanity from a very distant perspective.
23rd July - I have no idea what happened. It was a heatwave and I wasn't doing much.
23rd August - my birthday, I hadn't planned to celebrate but increased anti-depressants have kicked in and I'm starting to cope a lot better with my digestive issues. I cope with a Thai curry AND a typically fearsome Thai salad and go to Aberdeen on the weekend and I'm climbing well again.
23rd September - mid-way through a reassuring, life-affirming period of climbing properly and normally again and I feel like the old Fiend i.e. just me.
23rd October - I've not done much climbing this year and not done much climbing in the last couple of months when I've finally got some sanity and motivation and inspiration back. But those last couple of months look like this:
Rotpunkt:
Silk Teddies F7c *** - power endurance
Vibes Right Hand F7c *** - tension and burl
Scales Of Injustice F7b+/c ** - precarious slabbing
Ledge Shuffling:
Gotterdamerung E4 5c *- bold!
Spanked Roof Monkey E4 6a ** - easy fun jugs
Who Dares Wings It E4 5c *** - committing and good
Laughing Gnome E4 5c ** - committing and fun
Sidewinder E4 6a ** - brilliant steepness
Special Brew Direct E3 5c ** - epic in the sun
Whoremistress E4 6a *** - amazing big pitch
Prehistoric Monster E5 6a *** - wild and exciting
Necromancer E5 6a *** - world class awesome
Bob's Overhang E4 6a *** - great thugging
Polka Dot E3 5c ** - really nice gem
Piltdown Connection E3 5c ** - beautiful granite
Desert Rendezvous E3/4 5c ** - fantastic
Softly Treads The Beetle E4 6a *** - even better
Fast Reactor E3 6a ** - cool granite
Kenyan Cowboy E2 5c ** - my mate's route
First ascents:
Indoor Storm E4/5 6a/b ** - cool compression
Echo Box E3/4 5c/6a * - nice jug pulling
---
So that's quite tolerable really. Needless to say the stars are pretty important. So what enabled this?? In reverse order:
1. An incredibly SLOW but existent improvement in my digestive issues. Nowhere near healed, still on a heavily restricted diet and supplements, almost never feel 100% (I did for a few days on a recent weekend and that was quite notable). But generally less nausea bouts and very slightly milder indigestion / queasiness overall have helped me get on with things.
2. Somehow keeping fittish and strongish while I was having time out. Dragging myself to the wall while everyone else was dragging themselves to the sunbaked mountains. Hanging off bolts at Dunkeld while everyone else was hanging off beautiful sea-cliff belays. Horrible stuff but it helped me physically for when I did get back on track.
3. Increasing my dose of Citalopram from a very low to 10mg to a standardly low 20mg. The big difference that enabled me to cope. Drugs are gooood mmmmkay kids.
At the moment things are fairly stable and I'm psyched for grit and bouldering and the odd wee outcrop route and Eden Edinburgh and still trying to move away.
No comments:
Post a Comment