Gibbage 6.

The final day in a tidying up loose ends and finishing stuff off sort of way. The forecast was for cloud, it was glorious again, despite storm clouds over the hills providing a scenic backdrop. I still felt like utter shit with my gayflu. Bored of that. But there was plenty to get on with. We "warmed up" sliding off heinous micro-slabs: F6c and F7b that were more like that in British tech grades. The rock was cool but the sun was warm and needless to say our toll in skin and rubber was not repaid.

Thence it was on to the shady side, requiring a retreat and re-stomp to the opposite sector of the hillside. I'm noticing that after several days doing short uphill walk-ins and plenty of other exercise, my legs are still completely and utterly fucked and as usual I feel no progress in fitness at all. Cocktwats. Anyway the shady sector was shady although kinda sweaty. Managed a couple of routes including a pretty challenging one. Finally it was over to a different sandstone crag, El Bujeo, for a breezy and scenic evening, and a few more good and varied routes and a slightly frustrating "slip-off-the-first" move attempt of a stiffer proposition. A pretty good day despite feeling rougher than an East End Glaswegian's face.

This brings things to 34 routes I think. Not bad for a short week :). Plenty of fun on the sandstone, a few good challenges tackled (better than I thought!) and a few near misses to learn from. Tomorrow we fly back to dismal Scotland where I plan to hibernate for a while...


Africa in the morning.

Horses in the afternoon.

Gibraltar in the evening.

Gibbage 5.

Aka the day that was forecast for cloud and was glorious sunshine instead. But first, what the fuck is up with me: I come away to get some good climbing action and escape the endless sodden damp of Glasgow and the persist rundownness I've been feeling this winter. So I'm out here - plenty of activity, plenty of rest, loads of fresh air each day (sea air no less), loads of sleep each night, lots of mandarins and pears (when I can stop Tris feeding them to horses). And what do I get?? A mouthful of ulcers, glands like a second bawbag, and now a proper sodding cold!! What the fucking fuck?? IT MAKE NO SENSE!!

Anyway I can't complain too much because today rocked: We headed back to mmmMosaico to enjoy plenty of cooling shade from the forecast clouds, of which there was none. So it was climbing in the (minor) heat before lunch on some rather good routes, and climbing in the dusk after a somewhat snotty siesta on some just as good routes, and then climbing in the dark on some cool wee slabs that rounded things off nicely. The highlight of the day was my hardest route of the trip when I sent Senda Del Tiempo on the main Mosaico wall. This took all the tactics and waning stamina I had, and was satisfying partly due to the challenge and getting in the zone where I really had to deal with it, but mostly because it was an objectively great route: sustained, consistent, well-balanced, some respite that the most improbable points, and a delicate finish. Which was nice ;).

A slight misnomer today - for a change!
I tried to clean this bossly beetle, but he just squeaked furiously at me.
Guess who is having their rump firmly scratched...

Gibbage 4.

Today was a semi-rest day. Rest day = bollox day. Well this one was. Just how it went really. Drove back to San Bartolo to collect my missing downie (doh!). Then back in the opposite direction, initially the plan was to burn up the peage back to Mijas for a small bit of convenience ticking on limestone pockets whilst letting the fingertips relax a bit. But we decided to explore inland....to just explore. A bit of mountain scenery, a bit of sunshine, a bit of limestone. A fucking LOT of endless hairpin mountain roads, the real thrill coming when the petrol light came on with 30km to go till the next town and the hairpins kept going on and on. By a combination of pootling uphill in 5th and freewheeling round blind bends, we made it to the crag and collapsed into much needed lunch.

A few routes were a suitable agenda for the evening, but by the time I warmed up badly and mooched around, I managed to fail on my main desired route of the day. Sure bad bolting was the main issue but even without that I was struggling a bit. Okay it's supposed to be a rest day but even rest days can still have climbing radness, whether it's easy adventures or diverse exploration or just a couple of tricky routes in a generally chilled out day. The 5 hours of driving was anything but chilled out though, so tomorrow it's less miles and more Mosaico ;).

Load of cock.

Tris gave this horse a pear, and it gave us an enthusiastic blast of pear breath after it had chorfled it down.

Gibbage 3.

Today was pretty cool. We got hold of the local guide and went back to San Bartolo to climb on the shady side. Naturally it stayed cloudy all day. The shady side is infinitely less popular than Sector Mosaico and the nearby Sector 2-Bolt Bumblebollox, but probably better overall - more variety of rock and climbing styles and plentiful interesting routes, albeit lacking the showcase funk of Mosaico itself. We explored around and both got a fair bit done throughout the sectors, this time to the sound of chainsaws not cowbells. As much as I like extreme noise I think I prefer the cowbells as a climbing soundtrack.

My fingers were a getting a bit tender from the sandstone but I had some inspirations to follow so warmed up steadily on nice easy routes, and eventually, after a "Power Manchego" lunch, got to tackle my main goal for the day, this pretty cool bouldery wee route. I hadn't watched the video, just skipped to see if the wall looked decent, so it was a nice flash with a clearly defined sequence (pretty different to the video of course, not least because a flake has come off before the span rightwards, leaving a harder and cooler sideways drop move). I enjoyed that and still had enough beans to tackle a couple more uphill routes, before being tired enough to fall off easy slabs to finish ;)

Tomorrow might be back on the lime to give our fingertips a rest. It's all good.

An exceptionally fine braided curler.

A local wench trying to seduce us en-route back to our car.

Annus Demi-Horribilis.

Or should that be Anus Demi-Horribilis??

This year has been a year of two halves for me:

Part 1:

Malta - great
Later winter bouldering at Ruthven Boulder, Loch Sloy, Clashfarquar etc - very nice and satisfying
Pedriza - great
Long weekend in Mull - superb, best Scottish trip all year
Long weekend in Gairloch - very good
Long weekends in Caithness and Stranraer - good
Sweden - super-awesome
Brief trip to Creag Dubh and Camel - good
Generally maintaining an enjoyable E3 standard every trip out - pleasing
Losing a few pounds in Sweden - reassuring

Part 2:

Terrible weather all summer - suckage
No trips to Lewis / Skye / Ardnamurchan / Glen Nevis - suckage
No Indian Summer respite - suckage
A couple of decent trips to Aberdeen and local crags - pretty good
2 weeks of dry weather in November - some respite for bouldering
Increasing weight gain - very demoralising
Decreasing fitness - very demoralising
TCA opening - great training and a useful mercy
Exploring the County bouldering - good
Hard work changing medication to reduce weight gain - just plain hard
Persistent man-flu / throat/chest infection - suckage

It's pretty simple:
Good weather and trips away = good health and good spirits = right.
Terrible weather and less climbing = bad health and bad spirits = wrong.

Incidentally, my other interests have been pretty fun this year - have painted some cool figures, listened to some great drum'n'bass / hardcore / metal, and played a lot of good PC games - all of which is nice and passes the time during the incessant rain / rest days, but as fun as all those things are, they play supporting roles, not the main performance.

I've realised that the regular climbing lifestyle is not just important to me as it's the biggest inspiration to me, it's essential to me as an active lifestyle that balances out my mental and physical health issues. I am who I am and that is what's right for me.

Sweden the photos.

Bivvy hut in front of the lake.

Lake in front of the bivvy hut.

Typical walk-in at Seglora.

The amazing Afterburner.

More Afterburner.

How can anyone possibly resist??

Typically chilled out climbing vibes at Galgeberget.

Weekly washtime!

View out from Svaneberget.

Nice route at Utby in Gothenburg itself.

Same.

And another nice route at Utby.

Same. Funky rock there.

Dunno what it is but in the words of my mum: "looks friendly tho;-)"

Dude where does the line go??

Somehow not getting too lost...

Sweden the ticklist.

Bohuslan:
(5 days climbing)

Skalefjall:
En Liten Bit Granit 6 **
Granitebiten 7- ***
Machete 6 *

Hallinden:
Prismaster 6- *** (second)
Afterburner 6+ **

Fjedan:
Petroleum 5+ ** (s)
Bideford Dolphin 5- * (s)

Galgeberget:
Galgen 6- *
Ater Komsten 4+ ** (s)
Ballabaget 6+ **

Haller:
Mallorol 6- ***
Chapman 6 **

Granite Grotto:
??? F6c
Spektakel F6a
Islandshäst 6b+ **

Norden's Ark:
Jarven 5+ *
Snoleoparden 6+ **

Svanberget:
Hostsonaten 6+ **
Bergkirstis Polka 6- ***

Hogberget:
Lattja 6+ **


Utby:
(1 day climbing)

Snett A Vanster 6 ***
Ants In My Pants 6- ** (s)
Panda 6- ***
??? 5+ * (s)
Bagarmossen 6 *
Svara Diedret 6- **

Seglora:
(2 days climbing)

Punsch 6-
Kronartskolkans Flykt 7-
Delikatessan 7-
Kastrationsangest 7-
Ankedammen 7
Vino Tinto 6
Gasa Marsch 6
Basalt 6
Gettingen 6-
Arponas Planet 7-
Blackfisken 6+
Mluda Matilda 7
Matildas Groggveranda 7
Bjorn Sover 7-
Svartenbrandt 7-
Arkiv X 6+
Lenas Led 6-

Kullaberg:
??? 5- **

Sweden the country.

• Everyone drives a Volvo. Usually an estate. This is great.


• Unlike the UK, most people do not drive like complete fucking morons. This is good.


• There seems to be no national radio station devoted to minimal techno 24 hours a day. This is very bad.


• All Swedish people speak good English and are usually very helpful. This is a revelation that British people could learn from.


• Unfortunately there are no English signs anywhere at all, for anything. Although "toalett" and "stopp" are mercifully comprehensible.


• All Swedish children are very blonde and seem very happy.


• Most Swedish women are very blonde and wear very short shorts.


• Everything is extremely expensive. The only exceptions being pre-grated cheese and low-alcohol beer.


• Supermarket meatballs are fairly average and I can't eat a whole packet of them.


• Restaurant meatballs can be very awesome.


• South-West Sweden consists entirely of fields, pine forests, lakes/inlets, and small lumps of granite.


• In Bohuslan, those small lumps of granite can be very awesome.

Sweden calling...

I am going to Sweden for 12 days! Bohuslan! Climbing! And the rest of my experience will hopefully be summed up in the two videos above! Won't have my laptop so no updates but no doubt there will be some extended waffling when I return...

A mulltitude of mulling on Mull.

Woohoo I got to Mull. Simon D and I had a long-running plan over the entire winter to go there for some suntrap cragging. Generally the "sun" part of the suntrap cragging didn't happen enough to justify the drive/ferry/limited accomodation logistics, so the winter plan became a spring plan and a "whenever" plan. That whenever was the last long weekend and we took full advantage of it and had a great trip...

Day 1
Venue: Scoor
Rock: Schist
Climbing: Sheer slabby trad
Routes: Lead E2 5b, E3 6a, E2 5c, E3 6a, E2 5b



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Day 2
Venue: Erraid
Rock: Granite
Climbing: Slabby and steep trad
Routes: Lead E2 5c, E2 5b, E1 5b, E1 5b, E3 5c, E2 5b, soloed VS 4c, VS 4c, HVS 5a



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Day 3
Venue: Loch Buie
Rock: Gabbro
Climbing: Bulging bouldering
Problems: Crushed V4 (flash), V5 (2nd go), V4 (4 goes), V6 (worked)



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Day 4
Venue: Ardtun
Rock: Dolerite
Climbing: Vertical crack/groove trad
Routes: Lead E1 5b, E2 5b, E3 5c, E2 5b



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In general
Climbing: Very good. Mostly short but intense. Good value.
Variety: Excellent. Various rock types and various styles (there is also granite bouldering, gneiss and limestone)
Acessibility: Reasonable once over there. Some long-ish walks but not steep.
Scenery: Stunning beaches or dramatic mountains.
Wildlife: 4 friendly pigs, a hare, a cluster of seals, a lost cow on a huge beach, a small lizard, a normal peacock and an albino peacock.
Facilities: Figden campsite exposed but lovely setting. Good showers but can run cold if busy. Fionnport shop excellent for it's small size.
Food: Tobermory whisky B2B Isle Of Mull smoked cheese.



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La Pedriza 10.

The final kitty of the day is....a bonus one ;)

Well I have started writing this long before the final day and will no doubt finish it long after, but this is how it went in between those times...

Get up eat tortilla pack car cruise to La Pedriza walk into shady crag to do slabs and one steep arete realise shady crag is sunny cos we're early for a change ARSE try F6a slab fall off ARSE try F6a+ slab and give up ARSE both utterly nails get on semi-shady F6a+ slab do several English 6a cruxes randomly fall off top DOUBLE FUCKING ARSE fuck slabs go round to steep F6c arete cruise it YAY FUN redeem something out of the day walk back down go for swim in icy mountain river BRRRRR repack climbing bags and drive 5 hours to Alicante due to cunning timing arrive waaay early wait for hours for checkin YAWN eventually get through and stuff self on Burger King YUM more waiting at gate YAWN eventually get on plane pointing right direction MP3 player runs out of batteries and can't get comfortable to sleep FFS land wait for sodding ages for hordes of numpties to dribble through customs FFS YAWN wait more for airport parking bus JESUS FUCKING YAWN car starts thank god crash into bed at 1:30 ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

10 days of climbing, and a really cool new area explored (what it is all about), I feel pretty...
...chuffed

Climbing: The 6c arete was very cool. I got a bit bored of how purely random the slabs were by this point.

Wildlife: Nowt.

And: Tired.

La Pedriza 9.

Today's kitty of the day is....small ginger and white (cute despite gammy eye).

Today we couldn't get into the damn Pedriza park. At the main entrance there was the usual gridlock queue (surely mostly walkers....if you're that keen on walking then just park up and fucking WALK you dickwads and let the climbers get in to climb....this applies to Llanberis and Burbage and everywhere else in the world too), and the village entrance was barricaded by police FFS. So we spun round and headed back to the lime and explored a different valley crag that was thrumming with other climbers but seemed to have enough easy routes to soak up the ceaseless tide of punterdom (us included). We pulled on plentiful pockets and rattled off several shady routes which made for a good back-up day. Tomorrow an early rise, a hope that the devoutly religious Spaniards keep away, and a swift morning slabbing it up before a long drive to a late flight...

Climbing: Lots of steady pockety routes, fun but not much that really left it's mark apart from a cool little roof with awkward jamming in it (that the locals seem to avoid by a much harder duo pocket lock).

Wildlife: Camping kitty #12 - small, black and scruff (kinda cute, funny stare, pissed all over the hire car), and that's about it.

And: 8th day on and still syked, I was keen to push it more this afternoon if there had been anything else inspiring. Mmmm climbing is good yes.

La Pedriza 8.

Today's kitty of the day is small mongrel (annoying and hissy). A controversial choice but she is such a regular feature that it seems fair.

Let's play a game. Grab a blank granite slab, a pair of rock shoes, and a dice. Yes, a dice, you know, standard D6 that you roll to see if your Orcs hit with their axes or your Space Marine was saved by his armour. Got that? Good.

Pick a smear. Take your time if you like, there are many to choose from, but be aware there will be subtleties and factors you have no idea of that will randomise your choice. Now, roll your dice....you don't get to see the result, but you will feel it's effect:

1 - 3 : Your foot sticks.

4 : Your foot just sticks but has set you off balance, add +1 to your next roll.

5 - 6+ : Your foot slips and you fall off.

Now, assuming the result was 1 - 4 and you stayed on, pick another smear, and roll again (maybe with that +1 modifier you're not aware of), and again. And again. And again and again and again.

THIS is Pedriza. This is what we face on the slabs.


Climbing: 4 slab routes, including my first F6b+ (which was very good), but 3 failures on F6b/+s. The game of chance....bad luck to fall and fail, good luck to stick and succeed....roll the dice. Plus rounded off with a few minor but fun steep routes at a roadside crag. Good overall!

Wildlife: The usual motley crue with no change and no new kitties.

And: Despite wearing a t-shirt (or perhaps because of, since it was my hideous yellow Fiend t-shirt), I have more sunburn and have just eaten my own bodyweight in a very garlicky potato stew. Good luck me sleeping tonight :S

La Pedriza 7.

Today's kitty of the day is....large ginger (cross, ugly, and a personal favourite). A last minute winner with good reason I'm sure you'll agree.

Lime lime glorious lime. Well it is glorious out here rather than the blocky blotchy ugly polished choss that people climb back home. Chee Dale I ask you?? Honestly. Ponton D'Oliva is where it's at. It is actually a really good crag of very typical Euro-lime with lots of routes. And lots of pockets. I've pulled on so many today I've lost count and lost enough skin around my knuckles....but kept my tips nice and fresh for more granite horrors tomorrow. As well as good climbing there was good climbing dog action: Primo was my favourite as he had the optimum balance of chilled out most of the time but utterly daft and giddy once you stroked him:


But also this unnamed perro was a winner for cute faces (admittedly mostly when trying to scavenge queso y chorizo).


Talking of chorizo, I have some for supper, and I
chorizo :)

Climbing: 6 very fine routes, including a trio of good F6cs with thuggy starts and delectable finishes. Felt more like proper grades and proper climbing. Tired by the end! Back to slabs tomorrow to get spanked like the bitch that I am.

Wildlife: Kitties #9 to #11 - large ginger (cross, ugly, and a personal favourite), small black two (only one eye but a cute miaow), medium tortoise shell (actually looks like a proper cat rather than a scruffy mongrel). Plus loads of good crag dogs. Muy bueno perros! Or something like that.

And: 6th day on, still syked. Forecast still good...

La Pedriza 6

Today's kitty of the day is....small ginger (cute).

Today was a day of Anger and Lust. We were back on the slabs to rest our arms and trash our feet, and to continue trying to get to grips with this elusive slippery sneaky sandbag style. We found a shady slab, albeit not by finding the correct path to it, the usual boulder-bash being both an adequate warm-up and the redpoint crux of the day. We rattled off a few "easy" ones in swift succession, and one of them actually felt "easy". Possibly only a short grade undergraded. The Anger came next when I got on what could be the slab highlight of the trip, a mighty F6b+. Having done a few cruxy moves and generally on easier ground, I slipped off one poxy F6a+ move to finish. What a DICK.


Cue quickdraw and shoe hurling and a substantial stream of tourettes. As infuriating as this was, the general feasibility opened up the possibility of breaking the seemingly impenetrable F6b barrier. So I tried a F6c, did the crux moves of that (English 6b?) and then slipped off a slopey pull higher up, mostly due to warm conditions. It seems as the grade increases, the level of sandbagging decreases. Possibly. It also seems the conditions play as serious a role as they should - a couple of locals confirmed that "winter yes is the time for best climbing". Woot. Might have to come back. Not least because the Lust is there....finishing with a skin-of-teeth F6b, I felt a strangely alluring balance between the holdless horror of it all, and the zen-like zone of faith in friction. There is a seduction in these sheer slabs, a dark sensuality, a game of chance where one must seek calm in a hidden storm...

I rounded off the day with a dip in a snow-melt mountain river, mmm refreshing, an a huge tapas feast at a local bar. We could see the bar staff gazing and smirking at us when we'd clearly ordered too much and mountains of food kept coming, but they were all friendly handshakes and adioses and graciases when we paid the bill ;).

Climbing: Slabs slabs slabs slabs. 4 routes and a few more attempts....but it was supposed to be a sort of rest day....

Wildlife: The usual birdlife, camping kitty #8 - small, black (cute but limping), and lots of lizards today too.

And: Thanks to the hordes of people attempting to ID the mysterious heron-like things from my inept and vague descriptions, and congratulations to sidewinder who IDed them as White Storks. Here is a picture of a White Stork:

La Pedriza 5.

This is what we have to wake up to:

Gosh I am tired. Today we combined the steepness of limestone-style climbing with the texture of granite-style climbing and with a walk-in specifically designed to fuck my shit up. We headed to the mini-summit of Cancho De Los Muertos in search of steep shady granite walls, lo, after a "stop and rest every 2 mins" death-slog, we found what was promised.

The view from Cancho De Los Muertos:


Cancho De Los Muertos from the view:

The Cancho is rather fine place indeed, with sheer buttresses forming a summit crossroads micro-plateau, each way out leading to a different spectacular compass viewpoint, and some ways out leading to cool little climbing canyons. We did a lot in the main one of these, relishing in the shade, sliver of sun, and occasional fresh breeze....and relishing in steep granite climbing WITH HOLDS. Yes, actual holds. That one can pull on and all! The only slight detriment being that some of them were quite small and most of them required quite a bit of pulling, so the skin has suffered. A night of marinating in anti-hydral cream and a day of "gentle slabs" calls. Eeeek!

Climbing: 7 good, satisfying routes, 6 short and intense steep things, one so-called easy slab to "warm down".

Wildlife: All the usual suspect, plus one bonus ginger and white cat (seemed quite placid lying on a wall, so I threw chorizo at it). Still don't know what the bloody red beaked heron things are.

And: 0% San Miguel. The connoisseur's choice. And by "connoisseur" I mean "idiot".