I realise now, decades too late, I've gone about it all the wrong way around... Fat arse over useless man tit (okay they're pecs, but pecs don't get you ticking big numbers unless the rest of the body is leanly aligned towards climbing). Cart before donkey, tail wagging daschund etc etc.
I guess things started normally: Little climbing wall at school, a few trips out with a school club and a friend, learn to lead with him then Plas Y Brenin, more climbing at uni, the standard trips and places, cranking away at an early bouldering wall because it's fun. Oh and the obligatory 4 year break due to a breakdown, mental health collapse, complete isolation, that's a normal part of the path too, right??
Move to Sheffield, restart life, restart climbing. Grit. The Edge. Lime in summer. Wales. The Foundry. Bouldering mats. The Lakes. The Works. Convincing people it's worth driving to The Roaches. Etc etc. So far, so normal, despite being friends with Pylon King.
But the rot starts to creep in.... The Llyn, Carn Gowla, Gairloch, Galloway, North York Moors, South Stack. Ledge shuffling. Exploration. Adventure. Proper trad. Esoterica. Hidden trad gems. New crags all the time.
Can you spot it yet??
Was I at the Cornice? (no) Two Tier? (no) Malham? (yes - did Wombat and Crossbones and Midnight Cowboy), Kilnsey? (yes - did Dodger Direct) Gordale? (no) LPT? (no).
Was I pushing redpointing to get stronger and fitter - no.
Was I training on proper boards instead of fun circuits - no.
Was I mixing in hard long term boulder projects rather than just exploring venues - no.
Was I using a fingerboard - no.
Was I having any structure - no.
(Was I aware that I had a "ticking bomb" of a non-existent IVC vein in my chest and I'd be struck down with DVTs and unavoidably gain over 10kg and then have a body with fairly mature muscles and connective tissues that would suddenly have to cope with that - no).
So that's where I got it the wrong way around: From a fairly neutral start to a climbing career, I took the Left Hand Path of proper ledge shuffling, where the ledges are very ledgey and the shuffling is very shuffley and the best form of strength is weakness. A path of personal inspiration and genuine pleasure, a path that is absolutely "true to self"...
But a path that leads inexorably to a dead end. One day, I wake up and realise that I've done most of the ledge shuffles I've wanted to do, and those that are left are bloody hard for me and I need to be fitter and stronger. And I've been wasting my time avoiding getting fitter and stronger by farting around having fun and enjoying exploration. Now I'm getting older, heavier, weaker, less fit and more injured - and I'm too late. I'm too old, too heavy, too weak, too unfit and too injured to get enough back.
Meanwhile around me, to add insult to whatever injury is inhibiting me this particular week, I am part of a dying breed of ledge shufflers. Not the last (as people will immediately jump to correct me, before hopefully realising that I'm entirely correct and proper ledge shuffling is now vastly overshadowed by indoor blob-jumping and instagram green-ticking), but one of them. I've plied my trade with good honest traditional weakness, and now I'm getting weaker, surrounded by a climbing scene that is getting stronger, as the focus on athletic performance grows exponentially. Of course, comparing oneself to others is almost as naff as grade chasing, but the general feeling is hard to avoid and pretty galling - as is my own personal mistake in not taking the opportunities to focus on performance when I was still able to.
So, kids, the motto is: Don't learn your craft. Don't get experience on rock. Don't focus on technique and skill. Don't do laps of Stanage highball slabs. You can pick all that crap up when you're old, injured, decrepit, out of training action. Be a Goal Climber, not a Soul Climber - the soul doesn't age and rot until long after the body does. Get on the wall, the board, the campus rungs, the beastmaker. Get strong now, put the effort in now, focus on those gainz now that will last you a long time, before it's too late, before the body can't cope with it any more.
God knows what I'm going to do about it. I keep trying. The body keeps breaking. The mind too. I do see older people who do quite well in maintaining (not necessarily gaining) physical prowess. They inevitably have a proper history in training (or past performance), or enough venous return to keep lean enough for climbing, or enough self-discipline to do the most boring regimes, or all three. So far my best alternative seems to be bury my head in the sand and keep dreaming of a day where something magically changes and I miraculously gain some physical prowess to take back into the remaining ledge shuffles and esoteric explorations. Oh, and, not giving up yet. I'm not even sure why, against all sense and reason, but still not giving up yet.
Apparently I wrote this title down sometime in the winter and forgot to write anything in it, or even why I wrote it - apart from the bloody obvious of course... Well maybe I can make some use of it so here goes.
Not everyone responds to depression by being phenomenally obsessed with rigid training, militant motivation, constant exercise and running up Ben Nevis on a rest day. Some of us respond by wanting to curl up in a ball and die or wish the world would fuck off and go away, or usually both.
Unsurprisingly this is absolutely bloody useless for maintaining any form or capability in an active strength / power-to-weight / fitness based lifestyle, and indeed it's the both the polar opposite of that AND the start of the vicious circle where the lack of activity leads to a lack of climbing ability leads to being more depressed leads to a lack of activity leads to etc etc and really there is no amount of FUCKING RIGHT OFF that is enough for that particular cycle.
Accepting that it's both really bloody hard and really bloody important and trying to work around the former to appease the latter is a start. Here are some possible tactics to work with that:
Keep moving
It always boils down to this as the lowest common denominator - and it's a motto which fits with general depression alleviation i.e. do some exercise. Fuck what you should be doing, fuck the training plans, fuck the cycles, fuck working your weaknesses, fuck goals. Just move. It's a start and it will help. Build on that basis, even if the movement isn't even initially relevant to climbing, it can snowball into something more relevant and focused.
Take the pressure off
Pressure to do well? Pressure to progress?? Pressure to keep strong and fit?? Pressure to "tick grades" or whatever shite the insta-kids of today are obsessed with?? Nope. None of the above. When it boils down to "survive this day to see if things can improve the next day", all of that pressure is OFF. The only pressure is to keep surviving. If that's manageable, the next pressure is to - see #1 here - keep moving. Do whatever you can to avoid worsening your mental and physical situation, if that's manageable, then do whatever you can to progress or benefit your mental and physical situation.
Make it fun
God knows you need that right now, right?? This should be obvious but on the spectrum of training from "miserably methodical rigid regime" to "jolly jaunt aping around", you probably need the latter far more than the former, especially if other people are involved (generally more feasible with the latter). Which brings me on to...
The best training is the training you actually do
A good motto in general unless you're the sort of self-discipline end boss mentioned in the intro, but especially so when you're struggling to do anything. It's fine to aim for effective training, but don't force yourself to try to do that in an "all or nothing" way. Whatever you do will be good, because it's something you're doing. And if it's fun enough, and easy enough to motivate yourself to do it, then you'll probably do it enough, and regularly enough, to be effective anyway.
Play the long game
If you're really fucking depressed right now, you're not going to do well at climbing nor training right now, and the focus has to be getting through "right now". It can be hard to see beyond that and anticipate the future, but if it's possible to look at the bigger picture that you might (probably will) get through the current situation, it can help to see that the little bits of exercise and activity right now will add up and benefit you eventually. Most of the time there still is time to get climbing capacity and ability back - aim for short term coping, medium term regaining, and long term progressing.
Turn the volume up
It might be best to tend towards getting climbing volume and mileage in rather than sporadic, harder shorter training sessions. There could be less risk of injury, and having longer sessions will take up more time doing something fun as a distraction from depression, and can tire you out enough to feel more sated afterwards and sleep better.
Take care
The last thing you want is to have an injury - or another injury - to set you back. If depression manifests as a desperation to exercise / get stuff done, a lack of moderation / restraint could be detrimental. Also do your bloody rehab / prehab / warming up / stretching - if you're capable. If not, take it easy!
Acknowledge anything you do
Write a wee diary, tick off each day, write down any exercise, anything you did that could benefit you or your climbing, no matter how small. Whatever it is, it's better than nothing (well, unless you've done enough to need a total rest day). Each bit of exercise or activity is a victory over depression, and to be celebrated.
Okay so, re-reading this, it seems the answer to "How To Train When You're Depressed As Fuck" is.... "You Can't". But more promisingly, it's "You Can't, But You Can Probably Do Lots Of Things To Keep Active And That Will Add Up In Then End For When You're Back On Track (And Help You Get Back On Track"... Good luck.
This was a funny one.... Ever since the cool new Moelwynion guide, I've been keen to go to Bryn Castell and repeat Terry's "Cantorix Is Dead" E3 5c **, up what looked like a cool arete on the main buttress. At the crag I realised - with some insider beta from TT - that CID actually goes left around the arete into a slightly grubby crack, not quite the line I wanted! So I decided to try the arete direct, it all went fine until getting my hands over the top above a micro-cam and slightly-too-good fall potential. I couldn't commit to the blind / sloping pull over, so reversed to a ledge and clipped in whilst my partner Adam H went around to inspect the top. A bit of brushing and digging later, he suggested that *I* also go around and inspect the top as it looked "worryingly bold", so I did. It turned out that there was a good jug slot that just needed a bit more cleaning, I got back on the lead, pulled over, and it was "worryingly easy". I wish Adam had known me a bit better and told me to go for it as it would have been fine first go. Still, it's a cool line, and name comes from this arete being a near twin to TT's "End Action" E3 5c ** at the far end of Carreg Foel Gron, just over the hill.
After this, TT and Mari and Ross B turned up, I already had Noodles at the crag, she escaped her collar to slither down a grass slope, then I watched Ross do some bouldering and Noodles started squeaking because she was bored and once again got told to "stop that nonsense".
Dead End
Another arete which required an "end" name, and could be appropriate if one muffs the final moves. Despite a great line higher up, this has an average start, a scruffy middle with hollow rock, a deviation to place side-runners, and the possibility to hit a sharp glacis edge - so why am I pretty chuffed with it?? Because the moves on the exposed upper arete are just so damn good, perfect elegant monkeying-up-a-stick via spaced flakes jugs and crimps, that will feel pretty committing but very rewarding on an onsight. This was done with Cian K who had joined me on my sole Red Walls adventure lead of the year, the typically excellent Communication Breakdown - the easiest route I'd done on South Stack for a while, and unfortunately highlighted how downhill my climbing had gone when I found it slightly more panicking than exhilarating in places. Anyway on another day I introduced him to the delights of the Mignient with an unpromisingly damp Bryn Castell. We decided to do further cleaning and play on a pre-new-routing top-rope to see if it cleared up, and lo it did, and the final route project at the crag was complete, and we finished by repeating Adam's pleasant Super Infinite HVS 4c too.
Lancashire:
Winewall:
[ Coping Mechanism / A Guided Detour / Exhume To Consume / Whump!! / Soul Searching ]
Coping Mechanism
Named after the amount of quarry cleaning / guidebook work I was doing last summer, which was my main coping mechanism to deal with persistent elbow injury and related persistent shit climbing ability - better than being an alky or a junkie or sitting in a dark room playing games until my eyes bleed, some of it was even good elbow rehab too. This was the first line I spotted in the now legendary Winewall Quarry when I went there on a hot summer's day after doing some cleaning at the lovely Deeply Vale, to meet R-man who was developing some impressive bouldering potential on an adjacent sidewall. It was far too hot for me to climb so I just lounged on his pads and heckled - but only after I'd had a good recce around the quarry and been impressed by the existing lines, and even more impressed by the potential new lines! This began a whirlwind romance with the quarry which still continues this year as I sporadically pick off established routes - it was genuinely exciting to find some much potential in a roadside crag I'd never heard of before. This particular arete has the best Font 5 climbing in the quarry, but the landing drops away too much to make a highball, so easily placed siderunners were needed. A tight line but fun.
A Guided Detour
Named because, well, it's a fairly circuitous, but with the right guidance about where to go on this wall, it's actually got really good climbing. This was a good example of salvaging a decent route out of an impressive face that didn't work direct. Trying to mantle on the lower sandy break leads you into a gearless dead end or too close to the rocky gully on the left, but traversing in from the VS crack is a real nice technical teeter that culminates in a bit of a jump for shorties, and then a fun finish up the headwall. Minus 1 star line, 2 star climbing I reckon.
Exhume To Consume
Named after the Carcass track of course, which I first heard on the legendary John Peel show, and also after the adjacent gully with some unfortunate farmer's debris in. The insalubrious gully aside, this is THE line of Winewall, searing an afterimage into your eyeballs as soon as you look left after the 1 minute approach, it would be a 3 star classic if it wasn't for the start. Originally intended to be gained from the adjacent First Vintage, more perusal of the start and some initial squirming unlocked a direct ascent and enough protection to make the classic arete moves feel reasonable - until you're on the post-crux final easier rock-over...
Whump!!
Named both for the prolapse-inducing lurch to a jug over the roof, but more pertinently in honour of UKB's glorious insect overlord Shark, who had posted a thread complaining about people throwing mats down next to him at Raven Tor (whilst sieging Ben's Roof Sans Kneebar - Day 8304) and kicking up dust in his face like the ignorant bullies they are. This unusual complaint about climbing ethics resulted in some light-hearted mockery, and me sending him a few videos / screenshots of mat throws around the Peaks. The response was an edited screenshot with the motto "The Bigger The Whump, The Bigger The Chump" :). Anyway this route was quite a late discovery after cleaning the adjacent HVS had me spotting a jug in the headwall on the left and yet another new line!! I didn't like bouncing around on the ab rope trying the lurch over the lip, which is very much hostile to the short heavy climber, so I hadn't practised that and had to work it out on lead, which was pretty satisfying even if it's not my favourite sort of move.
Soul Searching
Named because a lot of soul searching was required before deciding to place a peg on this route - especially in the context that at the time a group of passionate Lancs climbers were campaigning hard to get BMC North West Area approval to remove several pointless retrobolts that were ruining good, established trad routes at Winewall. I pondered on the ethics - including the general principle of avoiding fixed gear (I could do the climb easily as a headpointed new route without the peg, but it would provide more encouragement for onsight ascentionists), how it affects the experience (it doesn't protect either crux, but does protect a post-crux grovel onto a ledge that would be a groundfall), and the possible degradation of the peg (it's in a long seam and would be easily replaced) - before hammering it in as it makes a better trad experience for others. Were it that all people placing fixed gear in Lancashire quarries actually applied as much thought and consideration to a single piece of gear, let alone changing a full route...
The route itself was an interesting experience, I'd spotted a line of sidepulls on the seemingly blank lower wall, but with just those it looked too hard and bouldery and I was going to leave it to Dave "mono front lever" Mann. Then a bit more owl-like head-swerving had me spotting opposing sidepulls, a possible compression sequence, and nearby runners, and I had to hoard it for myself. In a twist of fate, Dave came along to do some routes and belayed me, went for a heavy beta flash, fell off reversing a duff sequence on the lower wall, only just clipped the peg, and generally had a jolly fun time and confirmed the grade and quality. Halcyon days!
Named because the name is fun, I like nautical / marine names on Western Front crags, and it's also a slight reference to a Swollen Members lyric "...mobster, used to eating steaks and lobster...". Yet another route on the impressive right wall at the totally underrated JHQ, revealed after more extensive cleaning - just check out these pictures in the video above compared to the topo picture in the guide. I suspect this wall is now full, and now one of the best training walls for safe and pumpy extremes in the area! This line is a bit escapable as you end up on the edge of a niche shared with the E2 to the right, but still climbs well and is very safe with lots of cams. My other route "Pirate Error" E3 5c * to the left was repeated and enjoyed on a Rucksac club meet this year and the grade and quality confirmed - I then repeated Andy S's very new "Longendale Frights" E3 5c * the same day - a fun action packed day with far more people on new routes than guidebook routes!!
Cracken Edge:
Omibozu (aka Too Hard For Mark20)
Named after a Japanese mythological sea monster that I had been facing in the Nioh PC game, and Cracken Edge tends to require sea monster names... The working name is a both a play on Too Hard For Mark Leach and also a reference to the gritstone ninja who belayed me but somehow declined a beta-flash repeat.... M20 had original been pencilled in to do this project but when I inspected it more thoroughly I found it was feasible for a gritstone punter as a pre-practised new route. M20 did at least repeat my "Summon The Kraken", which I then failed to cleanly repeat on second, ooops. That didn't put me off too much as the teetery Omibozu is a different kettle of sea monsters, so I went for the lead, albeit with some trepidation which made it more rewarding (as well as the neat, delicate moves).
Oldgate Nick:
Bolt Thrower
Named because, well, it's nicknamed Cat Tor, the grossly inferior E5 is named Catapult, I needed an ancient artillery name... Trebuchet? Bolt Thrower! And since that coincided with the mighty Brummie war metal legends, I had to do it as a matter of urgency! This line is a right jolly jaunt and, as can be seen from the brief intro, probably the line of the buttress. I originally went to check out Catapult which looks pretty dire - a couple of campus moves above a leg breaking ledge - but finding this was a greater reward. Apparently it hasn't been done before, well it has now so if you've warmed up at Windgather, have a wee trot over the road!
Coombes Edge:
Gloom Keep
Named after Map 5 from Episode 1 from the mighty Quake PC game, a game which pretty much defined my earlier life when I was doing more gaming than living. Still it's a firm favourite and the very start of this map is one of my favourite scenes from the game. There's old graffiti saying "Keep Off" on the crag and the name just occurred to me.
Anyway this was a pretty significant climb for me to do last autumn. A few days before I'd had a major emotional breakdown as part of acutely recurring depression and had to run away to my friend Katy's for a night where I shuffled around like a zombie but did appreciate the company and support and dog cuddles. On my return I was still extremely fragile and shell-shocked, but the weather and Coel's availability aligned to at least get out of the flat and give this line a go - partly encouraged by it being a glorious evening for a crag with the highest "amazing view to minor esoteric crag" ratio in the area. I faffed around, worked it out, hadn't fully done all the moves on the ab rope, so when it came to the crux turning the lip, I had to properly go for it, and had a moment of unadulterated exhilaration as I did it (just audible at 5:30 in the video). This was quite a surprise after some very bleak and anhedonic days where such simple pleasure was unimaginable. I even managed to walk semi-normally around the Mottram Tesco on the way back without being in emotional trauma just looking at the other, normal, people...
Named after Noodles of course :). Hosey introduced me to Porth Howel in the pissing drizzle, and after too many visits I finally filled this gap before the sun crept onto it. Porth Howel is a lovely spot, with a spectacular walk down to it, and the mischievous pebbles that sometimes obscure the problems' starts also provide a welcoming atmosphere and good lone wolf landings. Noodles is a bit of an eliminate, but it's on great, aesthetic rock, has cool techy and powerful moves, and I had to put some damn effort in.
Multiple Choice
Pointed out by Senor Hoseo on the same day, and indeed we both gave the start a good go because it was staying dry-ish. I came back, and this also took a few sessions, probably because I was alternating between it and Noodles to make sure I was getting too fatigued overall but also only getting close to both as they were coming into the sun. So named because there were many confusing options at the start, and on the easier but committing finish.
Stinky Pool Issue A nice leisurely afternoon out with Head Mafioso Pantontino, having checked out Ty Mawr in the morning, before decamping to Porth Dinllaen for some easy circuiteering and finally the Ty Coch beachside pub for post-match analysis of course. SPI was a nice techy traverse of the main block that I was surprised to get before Si, and it worked quite well despite the potential Stinky Pool Issue in the landing ;).
Welsh Rhinog Grit:
Ysgyfarnagod
[Ends Of The Earth / Twisting By The Llyn / The Rematch]
End Of The Earth
Named because it was the first (or last) problem on the craglet, and the expansive view from the remote ridge feels like you're well away from the rest of the earth, and because, well, the 2020s have been a bit gash haven't they, and who knows where it's all going??
Twisting By The Llyn
Named after the twisty moves and the welcoming refreshment of Llyn Ddu scarely 100m away if the sunny grit becomes too much. Part of a charming little Llyn Ddu circuit, itself part of the bigger Ysgyfarnagod circuit, in which the easiest hour walk in the Rhinogs (I did it thrice) takes you to a scenic playground of perfect stone. This was my favourite midgrade problems just due to the techy moves and a committing finish.
The Rematch
So on the first trip Terry took us - inevitably - to a traverse wall, which to be fair was pretty inspiring by his standards. I didn't touch it of course, but did do a few other up problems. On the way out we investigated Llyn Ddu crag which is by far the most obvious bouldering crag in the area - completely untouched since it doesn't really lend itself to traverses (thank god!). Anyway I only did one problem there and insisted that we - or just myself - go back and develop it properly rather than having just one damn problem on the whole crag! The rematch worked well as on the next visit we added a dozen decent and obvious problems.
Inscrutable Urge
This was the sole problem on the first visit, and is pretty cool if done strictly. The name mangles both Calvin and Hobbes AND Mick Fowler quotes, and could there be any greater combination of inspirations?? It's also the only reason I could come up with for committing to a sketchy top above an iffy landing on my first bouldering visit out after recovering from a torn LCL, at dusk, an hour from the road....
Chasing Ghosts
Named from the patio beneath the adjacent new problem, Katz's Here Hare Here, which turns out to be the work of Emyr Jones whom I climbed with on The Range and had previously been exploring Rhinogs bouldering. Despite the patio the lines were too high for a lone wolf, so we ended up picking them off as a larger team. HHH is the king line, but CG is one of the nicest new problems I've done, cool moves via a hidden crimp to a finish on the most perfect rounded jugs, all in one of the most stunning locations in the entire country.
The Pit And The Punterdom
The pit provided, well, the pit, and I provided the punterdom. There's a TT E4 6b that goes diagonally across the wall above this, and an E8-ish mega project directly through the centre. My wee sitter provides an alternative for anyone feeling more leisurely.
No Stone Unturned
A good combination with the above, and another fun wee problem, so named because the boulder cluster was initially disappointing (as so many in the rock-strewn Rhinogau are), but exploring all aspects of it revealed a couple of good lines.
Nunus Is Good News
A short sitter beneath Terry's traverse wall ("which one?" you ask. #85243 I think). Funnily enough Mari who is the goddess of short sitters couldn't do this because it was 6A compression instead of 7A+++ rat crimps. Mostly done so I could give it this name. Noodles tried to steal Hula Hoops this day. I say she deserves them.
Counterintuitive Bollox
The first new problem I did in Y Rhinogau and indeed this year. Just named because it was a bit odd and didn't climb how it looked, but still quite fun.
Fridd Hare Crag:
[Snootbooper / Neither Ear Nor There / Mezzanine Ridge / Groove / Compress To Impress / Landward Arete / Pillar Of Pain]
Snootbooper
Named because Pylon King - stoic page-setter of the forthcoming guide - had explored years ago and nicknamed the feature and his stand-up line The Rabbit. The sitter awaited and was much easier than expected with steady compression moves past a truly lovely sloper pinch, on the usual immaculate rock.
Neither Ear Nor There
The sidewall of The Hare, another one where the name is better than the climb, but then again the climb is still pretty fun - most ways into the sidewall didn't really work until a stretch into a hold adjacent to Snootbooper unlocked it.
Fridd Oak Tree Wall:
Mezzanine Ridge
Mezzanine Groove
Simple problems with simple names. The Mezzanine boulder has climbing on almost all aretes and all sides so ended up being pretty good value.
Compress To Impress
Another example of how bewildering it is climbing with the maturing lady crimp waif that is Mari. She totally didn't get the compression on this, so let me flash the FA. I've tried some of her 6C-ish sitters and can't even hold the holds left alone imagine moving between positions.
Half Baked Idea
The main line on the boulder that didn't really work - great features but the blankness below forces a disappointingly high start on them, make it feel like half a problem. The much harder sitter awaits...
Pillar Of Pain
Another problem with "issues". The best easy line in Y Rhinogau, with one of the worst landings for it's height. i.e. it doesn't really have one - hence the name. Thus it's a bit wasted on underperforming boulderers who won't fall off.
Landward Arete So named because it's more part of the parent crag than the Mezzanine block. It didn't look like much but climbed pretty well.
Welsh Elsewhere:
Craig Y Clipiau / Cwm Orthin
[Sais Highway / Slim Pickings / Squeezing One Out]
Sais Highway
Named after the new A487 Caernarfon bypass that ferries sais conts to the Llyn in unprecedented European-quality comfort. Apparently unclaimed and possibly unclimbed, this is a striking line right on the Craig Y Clipiau approach and 5 minutes from the carpark. Maybe too dodgy pre-pads and not "sick" enough since them? It's also damn good with plentiful holds allowing the arete to succumb to a steady au cheval approach.
Slim Pickings
It's a slim groove and I picked it off as an afterthought...
BidoightBypass
A weird traversey line but one that actually works pretty logically. It bypasses the much harder sitter coming from below, but also features cool moves past a duo pocket.
Yet another TT / Mari traverse / rat crimp sitter combo crag. Thankfully the sitter was too hard on this so I could enjoy a nice wall climb with a fun combo of some poor handholds / good footholds, then some good handholds / poor footholds. I'm pretty sure Noodles was being a bit of a dick this day and Mari told her quite sternly to "stop that nonsense". Never seems to work.
Cwm Teigl / Mignient
[End Game / Diary Of Dog / Earl Of Burl]
End Game
Named in conjunction with a new route I did on the crag above - an arete named End Times as it's a similar twin to End Action on Foel Gron. End Game is also an arete but being a boulder problem, got a more playful name. The Bryn Castell boulder cluster had already been developed by Terry and Mari, and as always they'd focused on traverses and steep lowballs and left the best line of the entire area untouched. Thankfully it even escaped the addition of Ross Barker as he focused on board-style brutality just to the right, leaving me to womble in and find that plentiful holds and a really cool heel-toe made it fairly steady and as good as the line looked.
The Earl Of Burl
This was listed in a topo script as a project, so I went along to give it a go and after a LOT of working stuff out with undercuts and slapping around, managed to do it as a nice arete climb after a burly start. I later found out that Sam T had also climbed this bit of rock in via a fairly obtuse eliminate avoiding the arete that you're right next to and that forms the line, so I'm treating this as a natural FA!
Not Helping
Adjacent to a Pylon King problem "Help Me", thus spaketh the first ascentionist in some concern at the sloping top, naturally I did all I could to assist him i.e. nothing at all! PK was up to meet TT for an important guidebook summit which involved a lot of first ascents from all of us, a lot of cider and red wine for them, and from what I recall, a lot of dog cuddles for me.
The Brail Snail
A nice easier addition to Cwm Teigl that will be good for scaring lower grade climbers and is one of quite a good circuit (if you ignore the cheesegrater lip traverses) on very coarse rock in a very beautiful location. I was chuffed to repeat a neat, thin, Waddy problem "A to Z" 6C on that day.
Dolgellau Forest
[Counterintuitive Bollox / Inscrutable Urge / Bidoight Bypass / Madman Stand / Special Mossatary Operation]
Madman Stand
Another classic example of bouldering with TT and Mari. TT had done a girdle across various bits of rock around this boulder. Mari had done a lone sitter on the shortest bit. They'd left the really good obvious up lines untouched, well I shouldn't look a gift dog in the mouth, so I did them both. This was named because it's a stand start, also because that demented dickscraping Putin had just started trying to fuck up world peace, and as an added bonus Madman Stand is a classic techno album by Robert Armani.
Special Mossatary Operation
Another play on current affairs, still it could be worse, I could be spewing out utterly naff and banal anti-Tory names like nuggets of regurgitated teen angst. Also there might be a bit of moss in the forest, well a bit less once I got the yard broom on these problems.
Squeezing One Out
A wee compression thing. Also my usual behaviour when I get to a crag, especially one in a forest with plenty of moss around!!
I have no idea what new lines I did here if any, as the guide description and UKC logbook are similarly hopeless and contrary, but I expect it was something, maybe even the excellent "two different shoes and one filed down toe rand to fit the pebbles" superdirect?? Regardless it was rewarding cleaning the slab, cleaning up the confusion of lines, and doing some lovely hidden slabbing as elbow rehab.
A perculiar twin to the real Moonwalk (which I did 15 years ago, that now seems like a distant dream), up a flakey arete with a bold but steady teeter around the arete via a hidden pocket. It's a total eliminate avoiding an adjacent corner, but still cool climbing. This was one of a few days out with the irrepressible R-man who is determined to revitalise Lancashire bouldering once more with many new crags and developments for the forthcoming guidebook, you have been warned.
Unnamed, Viewpoint Crag
A sidewall around the corner for Moonwalk. Quite high, quite easy. There will be a pretty good circuit at this crag now, and the walk isn't that bad.
