Sunday, 3 July 2022

Diary of DOG.


Hello I am Nunu aka Noodles, Mari and Terry's 12 year old husky-alsatian cross. I like pulling on the lead all the way to the crag, sleeping at the crag on anyone's down jacket, begging for food, trying to steal people's lunches, and then pulling on the lead all the way back from the crag. Anyway "Fiend" (who is clearly quite daft) somehow volunteered to dogsit me whilst M and T were off galivanting so I write guest dog guest blog to tell everyone about grand adventures.


Day 1 - Talfarach, Llanbedrog, Gesail

WHY YOU DOGNAPPING ME IN SMOL CAR WITH TECHNOS??

Doesn't seem right. Where's the big van? Why don't I have bouldering mats toppling onto my head at any slight bump? Where are we going?

Oh okay through a farm with really rude dogs who do the Big Barks and snap at me and have no manners and fuck off.

What now tied under a boulder in the shade no I want to be in the sun and frying alive. Where you going?? What is "recce offwidth with horrible landing"?? Doesn't sound like dog treats to me.


SRSLY NOT SURE ABOUT THIS.

Oh okay you gave me smol bit of egg that rolled into crack in the rock and now I can spend 15 minutes trying to lick it out this might be okay.



Not convinced by broccoli. Would prefer your dinner.


Day 2 - Porth Howel, Carreg Lefain

I AM BIG BRAVE ADVENTURE DOG, I DON'T CARE ABOUT HORIZONTAL RAIN.


I am husky x alsatian I bite terrorists hunt down trolls and yeti and have impenetrable fur so yes rain lets go down to the crag even if I have to be pushed back up that awful gravel gully 2 paws up 3 paws down.


Also great recceing skills at the second crag well done at least I can still pull on the lead.



Day 3 - Porth Dafrach, Benllech

YES I AM GOING TO YELP AND SQUEAK FOR NO APPARENT REASON UNTIL YOU PUT YOUR JACKET BACK DOWN FOR ME.


I mean what do you expect. The Range area is lovely as you said and you gave me biscuits and Emyr gave me a bit of bread crust but I have to fuss about something and the jacket is very nice thank you it just needs extra fur to replace the down.




DEAD ROTTING SEAL, I WANT DEAD ROTTING SEAL.


Mmmmokay biscuits are fine breadcrusts are fine but really as a husky I live on dead rotting seal. Important diet, very nutritious. Will sulk a lot if I don't get rotting seal. Just watch me.


Day 4 - Porth Ceiriad, Porth Howel

YES LET ME OFF LEAD ON THIS GIANT BEACH AND A I PROMISE I WON'T RUN MILES BACK TO JOIN IN A KID'S FOOTBALL GAME AND GET SHOUTED AT. PROMISE PROMISE THXBYETHEN.


Okay that was a great promise. Worked well. Oh now we're in a quiet, safe corner with a dog who I just said hello to  and wanted to play with, yes let me off again. Okay I will just stand here and do nothing now. Nunu reasonz.

GOATS, I WANT GOATS





Back here again seriously why come on. Okay you had to carry me over bad steps to the rock ramp but why. Ah bouldering. Yes you're close to that project, well done but GOATS now I can bark like a fucking lunatic at goats because you needed the distraction P.S. GOATS.


Day 5 - Carreg Lefain

YAAAY RAFE'S TUPPERWARE LUNCH BOX IS THE CHALLENGE I WANTED.



I'm big brain husky x alsatian, I need serious thinking challenges. Stealing water bottles too easy. Creating n-dimensional cat's cradle of long lead too easy. Tupperware good brain stimulation. Rafe said lunch had lots of chilli. No problem. More brain stimulation.
 


Day 6 - Penmaen Head Trench Wall

BEST IDEA IS TO GET TANGLED WITH DAVE LYON'S DOG MILO, TREAD ON HIM WHEN WE FALL OVER, THEN EVERYONE CAN SNAP AND SNARL. YES GOOD PLAN.



Okay all that was too exciting, maybe I need my breakfast now which I never eat at breakfast time. Even better if you have to go up this vertical steps back to the car to get it. Much fun. Then I can guzzle whole lot and still try to steal your lunch. I have best plans.



Day 7 - Porth Howel

FOR FUCK'S SAKE NOT THIS GRAVEL SCRAMBLE AGAIN.

You better have a plan to get me back up seriously. I might need to get goats again. Also 3 bouldering mats good luck with that I'm a big brave adventure dog not a porter.




ROTTING SEAGULL, I WANT ROTTING SEAGULL.


Not as good as seal but since Hosey said this cove is completely enclosed and secure and dog-friendly, I'm allowed to hunt out every rotting seagull carcass right?? Yum.


Day 8 - Cwm Orthin

OKAY THIS IS NICE TO I'M GOING TO PULL ON THE LEAD EXTRA MORE.


Ooohhh, I know this place. Close to home, very relaxed, soothing. Good time to pull on the lead and try to chase sheep even though they'd beat me up. But I'm not scared. Big brave adventure dog.


Still not convinced by broccoli. Maybe Hula Hoops instead.


Many sleeps and dream of goats.