It Shouldn't Come As A Surprise...

Warning: Contains amateur ramblings and speculation solely based on personal experience and various anecdotes and perceptions, with a complete lack of any research or scientific basis. Also casually uses the term neurodivergence to refer mostly to autistic spectrum divergence and includes relies on the likely assumption that mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are more prevalent therein. Don't like that slapdash approach?? Go read a proper article that might make an ounce of sense!!

It shouldn't come as a surprise...

...that there is a seemingly high correlation between dedicated climbers and neurodivergent people especially on the autistic spectrum (a multifaceted spectrum of various common traits radiating out from a mythical core of "normality", with people having a different profile depending on the prominence of those facets)?? Is it a truism that it's a weird activity for weird people (often in a good way)?? After all, we're designed to swing from trees (jugs) with ease, but what sort of person is designed to sprag quarks 50' above filed down RPs behind a loose flake??

One who is potentially drawn to a relatively atypical activity that is:

• All-consuming and captivating in a wide variety of ways
• Rewards intense focus and single-mindedness
• Is individual-focused rather than a team sport, and is often social on a small, tight-knit scale
• Has a wide variety of challenges to tackle and stimulation from those
• Is very much up to the individual how they approach it
• Can be both very organic and spiritual (locations, flow, beauty of the outdoors) and/or incredibly geeky and cognitive (training, planning, progression, gear)
• Can be very distracting from the mundanities of normal existence
• In short allows the climber to be completely obsessive, oblivious to normality, anti-social to the point of sullenness, devoid of conventional emotion, driven by numbers and tactics and other minutiae, etc etc. Or indeed rewards them for being so... What's not to like?!

Climbing is just a sport. Or just a lifestyle. Like many others. But I genuinely believe that those factors above are more prominent than in most activities, and also that climbing just has so much going on it, so many ways to engage and enjoy it, that make it a truly captivating activity. Spending day after day in the bitter cold trying to do two moves on micro-edges is climbing. Watching the sun set over the sea at the top of a new route of unknown rock with the smell of sea-gull shit being the only reference point is climbing. An-pow-cap wanking over Lattice clickbait is climbing (ish). Chatting to your mate and sharing a snack bar on a half-way ledge on a big multi-pitch is climbing. Jumping between resin blobs is climbing and trudging through the snow to stick to vertical slopers is climbing.

So it's captivating. It just needs a target to capture, a willing victim or unwitting prey... And with so many factors that are seemingly suitable for some form of neurodivergence, that's the best hunting grounds. Sometimes you get juicier, more prestigious prey. Maybe people like JD, JMcC, ET, DMcC etc seem to be the finer trophies on climbing's wall.

(At least, historically so. With the increase in comfortable consumerist climbing as the gym-style gateway into the sport (and the relatively simplicity of that), maybe the mainstream is taking over, with an increase in neurotypical participants. Ugh)

Completely normal activity. Nothing to see here.

It shouldn't come as a surprise...

...that I am one of those people. 

People sometimes ask why did I choose climbing.

The answer is: I didn't, IT chose ME. 

(Stupid fucking activity.)

I've been dedicated to climbing for over 20 years, and from the start, after having sampled and spurned many sports and activities, it just seemed right to me (somewhat incongruously with my athletic background of, errr, painting toy soldiers). I've seen it through thick and thin, highs and lows, illness and injury and injury and injury, I've battled a fair amount of feeling physical and mental unsuitable for it because it's still just seemed right. And I've always been inspired, always been determined, almost always loved it (and when I haven't it's due to inhibitions getting in the way). 

I've also had my own tastes and my own drives which are often an incongruous melting pot by climbing's already oddball standards. Most of those examples above and more (well apart from the Latticewanking, fuck that) have drawn me in, with a pretty personal and sometimes peculiar focus.

So no surprises. I am neurodivergent, and that is intrinsically linked to climbing choosing me, me being swallowed alive by it, and being digested to be at one with that activity. "High-functioning (-ish!!) aspergyers" (as it was described back then) personality with a tendency to depression and anxiety (I've done a lot of work in the past on the social/emotional/relational issues that are common and were very prevalent in my youth - I know, imagine what a knobhead I was back then. Still a work in progress of course). 

That's me. It's not something I want to write about, nor broadcast publicly. With a bit of a, ummm, particular personality already, I can already be a bit of a target, and I don't want to me more of one. But equally I don't want to be hidden away when being open about these things could be beneficial to me, and even to people around me. In recent years - more specifically this year - the depression and anxiety and other old issues that have been snapping at my heels have caught me up as injury and age and personal issues have slowed me down, and.....they kinda nip hard. And whilst I'm tackling that myself, I'm also needing help and support, so I've had to take the risk, make myself vulnerable and open up. 

I'm writing this because I want to clear it up. And for any people who are wondering "Yeah right why is that belligerent sod Chief Inspector Twat Of The Ethics Police, amateur chossaneer and relentless contrarian coming across as such a needy, fragile fanny these days??" - now you know. Because it's all part of that same personality, all sides of the same coin (and indeed the Chief Twat is all part of the coin of being passionate about climbing). Loving grovelling up silty chimneys on Red Wall // being out looking at the most beautiful scenery with an empty heart because I don't understand what it all means - it's all part of it; Walking 2 hours with 2 pads and 2 gammy legs to do the best hand crack boulder problem in the UK // pacing around my living room at 8am in the morning because I'm frantic about indecision on going to Ratho in a team of 3 - it's all part of it.  And this bewildering and challenging melting pot of personality traits is something I perceive as fairly common, whether people need to admit it or not. I've had to...and hope it works out.

Five Favourites From 2022

Best Albums of 2022:

(Shamelessly copied from my UKB post)

A neat 5 slices of sonic excellence for you:

Tripped - Unboxed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D-ILHQi_kQ&list=PLR8jjdYYmdaXSYiQRxoYI0c9Izpl1-bAM
(full playlist)
https://prspctrecordings.bandcamp.com/album/unboxed

Prspct dropping Album Of The Year for the 3rd year in a row, but what do you expect from one of the world's premier electronic dance music labels?? Unboxed is an absolute rollercoaster of energetic techno themes from the euphoric to the relentless and back again, but what really make it stands out is how Tripped focuses on a refreshing directness of dance music - there is a bare minimum of the "endless big cheesy breakdown into a predictable drop of empty beats" cliches here. Instead it's all about driving and evolving beats that are constantly layered with atmospheric sounds - danceable and listenable at the same time.


Presha - Rats Infest 1 / 2 / 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR1FYauQp0k&list=PLRPUUEqmciasnfYyYEwXy3idJ9pvAePGw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlaUa7XBhhk&list=PLRPUUEqmciatr5oqQuQv-l8Aae2iYalVe
(full playlists)
https://presha.bandcamp.com/album/rats-infest-1
https://presha.bandcamp.com/album/rats-infest-2
https://presha.bandcamp.com/album/rats-infest-3

Samurai Records is another label that can do no wrong, and following last year's highlight of the boss's Rats EP, this is followed up with a seething swarm of remixes that over 2 EPs and a single makes for a superb album across a broad spectrum of proper modern jungle (and bonus breaks on #3). It's hard to resist the cliche of "deep, dark, and deadly", but these tracks are undeniably that, with the usual Samurai creative hallmarks.

Mares Of Thrace - The Exile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGu5B-JN5b4&list=OLAK5uy_kKTs5FDtbFY-Y80IJXlH9BWwz_6CQqBcI&index=1
(full playlist)
https://maresofthrace.bandcamp.com/album/the-exile

Mares are back after a long hiatus and whilst they're now one Mare and one Stallion, the musical quality of their epic, sexy, groovy, bluesy, quirky dissonant extreme metal blend is as good as it ever was. Lovely.


Samurai - Hannya II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMSDaEcH5HY&list=PLRPUUEqmciauOgil8nobW2pp6IzgH7ckz
(full playlist)
https://samuraimusic.bandcamp.com/album/samurai-hannya-ii

If the Rats Infest EPs were a broad spectrum of proper modern jungle, Samurai's second Hannya compilation is the FULL spectrum. For a music genre that could seem dated after near 30 years, the future-looking freshness here is a captivating reassurance. From methodical technoid plodders from Mako, minimal tribalism from The Untouchables, serious industrial jungle presha from Presha, and proper fucking nightmare fuel from Artilect, there's a whole lot of quality to take in here.


Origin - Chaosmos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2kzewIKTKY
http://origin-chaosmos.com/ (pain in the arse but is available on digital somehow)

And Origin are back in action with an album that really caught my attention after getting a bit lost with their previous releases. This one is an absolute cracker that has all the brain-warping leadwork and frantic technicality of Origin at their best, but with a whole lot more variety and fun packed into one album, with black and hardcore influences swirling around along with some more traditional tracks. 
 

Thinning the wedge??

I posted a year about about the general increase in retro-bolting of good protectable trad routes in various areas across the UK. It seems my concerns were more prescient than alarmist: On my only two (due to injury) visits to The Ormes this year, the amount of retro-bolting seems to be accelerating rather than being curtailed. This means that when I turned up to rehab my elbow on some minor but enjoyable E1/2s on the usual pleasant Pen Trwyn rock, I found them to have been fully retro-bolted and turned into sport routes. I led them on trad anyway (which, despite the all-too-common false arguments to the contrary, definitely alters / spoils the experience, especially if it was on routes closer to the climber's limit), and still managed to enjoy good protectable trad despite the very unwelcome bolting situation. See below for more details.

There has been some online discussion, some discussion at the BMC North Wales Area Meet, and some extra discussion between interested parties about this issue. I've had some closer discussion with concerned friends and whilst there is some agreement that the this is an entirely undesirable and negative situation that is detrimental to both British trad climbing and the sport / trad balance in historically "mixed" venues, what to actually DO about this is another question - one that is sadly not solved merely by ranting.

So I've had a think and come up with a few ideas of how to TRY to reverse the trend a bit. As with Ken Canute (RIP), this is probably still trying to stop the ceaseless tide, but maybe it's worth trying. These are only my own ideas, perhaps naive and ill-formed, but they could be a starting point...

Practical actions:

1. Climb the minor but enjoyable trad routes in these venues NOW.

Partly don't keep putting them off because "I've got bigger plans and those routes will always been there for a quick hit / casual day". Because apparently they won't... And partly because the "this route was neglected and was rarely climbed as trad" reason is seemingly still used to "justify" retrobolting. So if the routes are more obviously climbed and not neglected, that reason becomes more invalid.

2. If suitable, do some careful cleaning (such as access allows).

This obviously depends on what is permissible and sensible. But if a route is relatively neglected and has become vegetated, this might put people off (even if it's still perfectly climbable). A light trim and spruce up can encourage people to get on it, and further reduce the "unpopular trad" argument.

3. If suitable, replace old fixed gear like-for-like.

Similar to above, depending on what is permissible and sensible. Old and rotting fixed gear that might need to be replaced somehow seems to transmogrify into yet another spurious "justification" for retro-bolting - not just replacing the fixed gear (or even just checking if it's needed at all!!), but bolting the whole route up because it had an old bolt or two pegs that needed replacing. This could be stopped before it started by replacing JUST the essential old fixed gear yourself (obviously having learnt the necessary skills and doing a safe job)

4. Publicise the quality of  these trad routes.

Following and of the above actions - PROMOTE THE ROUTES. Get good photos. Assess the trad gear situation. Write up a good report. Suggest tweaks to grades and descriptions, correct anything that's misleadingly off-putting. Provide people with good information about good routes and encourage them to go and climb them. If enough people do, it could show the quality of the trad enough to dissuade retro-bolting.

5. Be supportive and respectful of bolt removal.

Hypothetically. If it were to happen.

High level involvement:

1. Discuss the situation in general, online and in real life. 

A lot of the retro-bolting seems to come from people doing it without consultation, without warning, without discussion. The modus operandi seems to be secrecy / minimal consultation and try to let it become the route's status quo before anyone notices and queries it. Conversely, highlighting the issues, posting about them online, talking with other climbers about them, and raising awareness can bring the retro-bolting out into the open, maybe dissuade people from doing it too readily, and maybe encourage more people to stand against it.

2. If you know anyone involved with retro-bolting, talk to them, express your perspective. 

Ask them to please avoid retro-bolting trad routes, especially without consultation. It might fall on deaf ears but enough calmly put requests might add up (and see 5. below).

3. Attend BMC Area Meets or at least check the minutes of the meetings to keep informed.

Despite relatively limited participation and the difficulty for non-locals to attend, these still seem to have some importance and often provide a formal forum to investigate these issues. Put up with the boring / hill-walking bits, put the effort in attend if you can, or keep up to date with the meeting minutes if you can't.

4. If there are any polls or consensus requests, vote in them and make your view heard. 

Similar to getting the issues out in the open, don't keep your views private where they're not able to have any influence. Take part in any situation or consultation where a yay or nay, or a hand raised, or a "I vote for..." post can add to the numbers. Anyone can do this and it could help.

5. Keep a balance and pick the right battles. 

A general disapproval of bolts and sport climbing is futile these days. It seems many people responsible for retro-bolting also do good work that doesn't spoilt trad routes. E.g. if they've also been involved with replacing bolts on established sport routes, replacing lower-offs or adding them where needed, replacing like-for-like fixed gear, putting up new sport routes - praise them for such, make it clear that all of that, without retro-bolting, is appreciated and valuable.

Grass roots encouragement:

1. Encourage people at relevant crags to get on trad routes and give them a go.

Share your knowledge, spread your enthusiasm. Give them ideas of what might be good and suitable. Overhear someone at at a mixed trad/sport sector saying "Oh I'm keen to do my first E1 but the ones here look a bit blank"?? Point them at what you know, reassure them the gear is okay. Overhear general qualms about trad?? Sing it's praises, explain how much great stuff there is to go at on trad.

2. Promote trad across social media and other forums.

Try to be a positive influence on people where trad - and where preserving trad - is concerned. Highlight all that is good about it, reassure people about anything that might be putting them off, provide information about easy ways into trad, and in general present it palatably and accessible as possible. Any post, any discussion where you can positively nudge people towards it, try to do so.

3. Try to answer any concerns / questions about trad that might be putting people off.

E.g. 

"It's dangerous" - there's a huge amount of well-protected routes where you can place gear more regularly than on a sport routes, so it's definitely not necessarily dangerous.

"It's scary" - fear is part of the challenge and can be tackled and learnt to be overcome.

"It takes too long to learn" - that partly depends on the climbers diligence and dedication, and people who are determined enough and really focus on the core principles of placing gear, ropework, and the overall safety system can pick it up quickly.

"It's too expensive to learn"  - formal trad instruction is expensive but it also opens up a vast array of excellent climbing all over the UK, and there's the option of informal coaching from clubs or other climbers.

"I don't know where to start"  - give this person a list of courses and outdoor instruction venues to contact!

"A trad rack is too expensive"  - thee are various ways around this including: hooking up with someone who has a rack, initially sharing a rack purchase with a friend, joining a climbing club, getting good advice about the bare minimum starting rack, etc.

...and if it's really all too much, suggest that top-roping trad routes in these areas might be better as a last resort rather than asking for them to be retro-bolted??

4. Try not to alienate people. Highlight the quality of trad whilst acknowledging the popularity of sport - and inform people about the large amount of sport available in many areas so they know there's often plenty to do without needing to support retro-bolting trad. Phrase the encouragement positively rather than judgementally.

5. Take people under your wing if you can. Be a mentor, be an informal guide, offer to take people out, be part of a climbing club. Pass down your experience and encourage people to develop the skills to do more trad and rely less on bolted routes (and maybe reduce the pressure to create more of them).

------

Recent-ish retro-bolting examples:

Tramstation Crag:

A very pleasant and accessible suntrap that would be a charming little trad venue in inclement weather or for a quick hit. The routes are short, some are pretty minor, but the rock and climbing are good as usual.

The Three Musketeers E1 5b *

This would make a lovely little first E1 for anyone who can place wires. Lots of wires. So many wires that I started running out of quickdraws. Very steady good tradding with nice hidden sharp flake holds.

D'Artagnan E1 5c *

Another pleasant wee route with an easier start and a trickier and nicely technical finish. This was protected in the classic and natural Ormes "hybrid" style of having a lone bolt on the only blank bit. It would have been obvious and sensible to replace this lone bolt instead of retro-bolting a good route, or actually just remove the upper bolt given there are micro-cam placements nearby.

(Not shown is The Catwalk Direct E2 5c * on the left of this wall. The route originally had plentiful trad gear to start, a couple of hybrid bolts to protect the crux, and then a weird traverse out right for unknown reasons. It seems entirely sensible to have a lower-off at the finish to get the natural direct line without the traverse. It would have also been sensible to replace the two old bolts, or even better replace them with a single bolt to give more of a committing feel, rather than fully retro-bolting.)

St Tudno's Upper

Just one of many of a good cluster of crags in Lighthouse Area with fine sea-views, easy access but an exposed feel, good rock, good climbing, and in theory a good sport / trad blend.

Rest And Be Thankful E2 5c **

A cracker of a route with more gear than you can place, although you still have to properly go for it on a typically committing but rewarding Ormes crux leading to good holds. Apparently there were two old pegs and a thread. These were clearly not needed, but what really wasn't needing was retrobolting.

Pile Driver E2 5b 

A good and photogenic line with some committing climbing away from the good gear low down. Maybe a bit unbalanced to be worth a star here but definitely would get one on Peaks / Yorkshire lime and still well worth doing, and keeping, as trad.

Thank You Johnny / Thank You Matt E2 5c **

Note: There is some confusion about this line. The bolter / retro-bolter claims it's a new sport route and not a retro-bolted version of TYJ, however it is listed on UKC as TYJ F6a+ "Now retro-bolted". Which does mean that any pro-retro-bolting arguments using UKC logbook ticks as a "popularity" "justification" for removing trad routes might be based on unreliable evidence.

Anyway what is clear is this is a good trad route with plentiful gear (fiddly in the main break but with a great shake-out there and easy gear just right) and a really nice techy rockover crux that shouldn't have been retro-bolted - and for that matter should have been done as trad if it is a new line.

And All Hell Broke Loose E2 5c *

Another good route with a stiff (but easier than it looks) start, a bit of boldness, then some delicacy, and a final thought-provoking crux with plentiful good small gear and a good rest to ponder it all. I found this one particularly satisfying even if it is a bit disjointed. The guide mentions a peg, it's clear this wasn't needed and neither was retro-bolting.

Hopefully this seemingly yearly post next year will be a lot more positive and celebratory??...

Another Fallow Year

 
"It's okay", said the ginger beastlette, "sometimes you just need to have a fallow year. Take a step back from pushing yourself, from doing major challenges, from aiming for strong inspirations. Let yourself recover, let the spirit and psyche regrow. It's what serious climbers and actual athletes would do."

And she was right.

I did have to take a step back due to physical and mental health issues. A step away from challenges and inspirations and exciting destinations. A fallow spring and summer - when the weather was hot and everyone was in the shady mountains, I was grumping away at the climbing wall, when the weather was generally nice and people were exploring crags all over, I was day-tripping to grotty sport bollox to masochist myself redpointing. The amount of big ticks that got away was the only big number around, but it was all I could cope with - and I was keeping my activity levels and climbing strength up. God redpointing is bollox, but it does keep you moving and pulling hard.

So come autumn, inhibitive issues had alleviated a bit, and my body was ready to keep climbing, the physical GAINZ from the redpointing bollox paid off, and I had as good a big inspiration / major challenge trad autumn as I ever had (...for the last time, it seems...). So the fallow period did indeed work.

...

The thing is, this was 2018, not 2022. 2022 is another fallow year, but it's a very different fallow year.

2018 was about digestive issues, occasional debilitating nausea bouts, the fragility that left me with (go on a camping trip to the north west with those looming over me?? nope...), and the associated vagal depression - the latter having a clear cause and not being too overwhelming. The rest of my body was holding up okay (including a complete lack of decade-long golfer's elbow that cleared up within a week of the reflexologist I was seeing for my digestion finding "a strong pressure point reaction indicating upper left limb issues") and my physical ability to dick around on the rock in between dangling off bolts was as good as it's been post-DVTs/post-weight-gain. Once the bouts became more sporadic and the increased citalopram and CBT kicked in, I could put that into action.

2022 the digestive issues are not an issue. The perma-injury is, and the associated cumulative depression from that combining with age, perma-heaviness, old mental health issues and new personal issues. Full golfer's elbow from late September 2021 to <checks date> late November 2022 (and counting...) with only a brief respite in March/April, plus LCL injury from December 2021 to March 2022, plus tennis elbows in February/March then May 2022 has meant I've had only the slightest chance to get a meagre period of near-normal climbing strength (March/April), and no chance whatsoever of getting any fitness nor confidence. 

This fallow year is not only about taking a step back from pushing myself, from major challenges, from strong inspirations, it's about taking a step back from the positive physical side I sought solace in in 2018, the side that enabled me to keep going and come out with my climbing ability intact. In fact it's about taking a step back from most of the positivity in climbing in general.... I came out of 2018 with my physical ability probably slightly improved, and maybe my confidence from getting through the fallow year. I'm going to come out of 2022 with almost everything about my climbing worsened, apart from possibly flexibility, which I have managed to "train" a little bit, by not avoiding stretching quite as much as before! Maybe there will also be some benefits to the groundwork I've been forced to do about mental health issues, but that won't be evident yet.

This is a fallow year from which nothing is going to regrow in the foreseeable future...

...

I said a step back from most of the positivity in climbing. Not all. There have been a few very brief moments of strong inspiration rather than treading water waiting and hoping for it all to pass. This was one, by random chance something that was interesting in it's obscurity and challenging in a way which mostly bypassed my injury.

An interesting process and the name just came to me.

Diary of DOG.

Hello I am Nunu aka Noodles, Mari and Terry's 12 year old husky-alsatian cross. I like pulling on the lead all the way to the crag, sleeping at the crag on anyone's down jacket, begging for food, trying to steal people's lunches, and then pulling on the lead all the way back from the crag. Anyway "Fiend" (who is clearly quite daft) somehow volunteered to dogsit me whilst M and T were off galivanting so I write guest dog guest blog to tell everyone about grand adventures.

Day 1 - Talfarach, Llanbedrog, Gesail

WHY YOU DOGNAPPING ME IN SMOL CAR WITH TECHNOS??

Doesn't seem right. Where's the big van? Why don't I have bouldering mats toppling onto my head at any slight bump? Where are we going?

Oh okay through a farm with really rude dogs who do the Big Barks and snap at me and have no manners and fuck off.

What now tied under a boulder in the shade no I want to be in the sun and frying alive. Where you going?? What is "recce offwidth with horrible landing"?? Doesn't sound like dog treats to me.

SRSLY NOT SURE ABOUT THIS.

Oh okay you gave me smol bit of egg that rolled into crack in the rock and now I can spend 15 minutes trying to lick it out this might be okay.

Not convinced by broccoli. Would prefer your dinner.

Day 2 - Porth Howel, Carreg Lefain

I AM BIG BRAVE ADVENTURE DOG, I DON'T CARE ABOUT HORIZONTAL RAIN.

I am husky x alsatian I bite terrorists hunt down trolls and yeti and have impenetrable fur so yes rain lets go down to the crag even if I have to be pushed back up that awful gravel gully 2 paws up 3 paws down.

Also great recceing skills at the second crag well done at least I can still pull on the lead.

Day 3 - Porth Dafrach, Benllech

YES I AM GOING TO YELP AND SQUEAK FOR NO APPARENT REASON UNTIL YOU PUT YOUR JACKET BACK DOWN FOR ME.

I mean what do you expect. The Range area is lovely as you said and you gave me biscuits and Emyr gave me a bit of bread crust but I have to fuss about something and the jacket is very nice thank you it just needs extra fur to replace the down.

DEAD ROTTING SEAL, I WANT DEAD ROTTING SEAL.

Mmmmokay biscuits are fine breadcrusts are fine but really as a husky I live on dead rotting seal. Important diet, very nutritious. Will sulk a lot if I don't get rotting seal. Just watch me.


Day 4 - Porth Ceiriad, Porth Howel

YES LET ME OFF LEAD ON THIS GIANT BEACH AND A I PROMISE I WON'T RUN MILES BACK TO JOIN IN A KID'S FOOTBALL GAME AND GET SHOUTED AT. PROMISE PROMISE THXBYETHEN.

Okay that was a great promise. Worked well. Oh now we're in a quiet, safe corner with a dog who I just said hello to  and wanted to play with, yes let me off again. Okay I will just stand here and do nothing now. Nunu reasonz.

GOATS, I WANT GOATS

Back here again seriously why come on. Okay you had to carry me over bad steps to the rock ramp but why. Ah bouldering. Yes you're close to that project, well done but GOATS now I can bark like a fucking lunatic at goats because you needed the distraction P.S. GOATS.

Day 5 - Carreg Lefain

YAAAY RAFE'S TUPPERWARE LUNCH BOX IS THE CHALLENGE I WANTED.

I'm big brain husky x alsatian, I need serious thinking challenges. Stealing water bottles too easy. Creating n-dimensional cat's cradle of long lead too easy. Tupperware good brain stimulation. Rafe said lunch had lots of chilli. No problem. More brain stimulation.

 

Day 6 - Penmaen Head Trench Wall

BEST IDEA IS TO GET TANGLED WITH DAVE LYON'S DOG MILO, TREAD ON HIM WHEN WE FALL OVER, THEN EVERYONE CAN SNAP AND SNARL. YES GOOD PLAN.

Okay all that was too exciting, maybe I need my breakfast now which I never eat at breakfast time. Even better if you have to go up this vertical steps back to the car to get it. Much fun. Then I can guzzle whole lot and still try to steal your lunch. I have best plans.

Day 7 - Porth Howel

FOR FUCK'S SAKE NOT THIS GRAVEL SCRAMBLE AGAIN.

You better have a plan to get me back up seriously. I might need to get goats again. Also 3 bouldering mats good luck with that I'm a big brave adventure dog not a porter.

ROTTING SEAGULL, I WANT ROTTING SEAGULL.

Not as good as seal but since Hosey said this cove is completely enclosed and secure and dog-friendly, I'm allowed to hunt out every rotting seagull carcass right?? Yum.

Day 8 - Cwm Orthin

OKAY THIS IS NICE TO I'M GOING TO PULL ON THE LEAD EXTRA MORE.

Ooohhh, I know this place. Close to home, very relaxed, soothing. Good time to pull on the lead and try to chase sheep even though they'd beat me up. But I'm not scared. Big brave adventure dog.

Still not convinced by broccoli. Maybe Hula Hoops instead.

Many sleeps and dream of goats.

The Beginning Of The End.

 

I can point to an exact time and place when I realised my climbing career was coming to an end. 

It was mid-evening last summer, 10 or 11 months ago, and it was walking back along the grassy path that provides a 10 minute flat gentle stroll between The Range sea-cliffs and the carpark. The Range - and Porth Dafrach - had been as delightfully fun and enjoyable as ever, the quintessential Type 1 pleasures of crenellated zawns and headlands, undulating and intriguing rock, quirky and characterful lines. I had been less fun and enjoyable, as I'd started to run out of soft-touches to ledge-shuffle my way up, and not only had I backed off a few alluring routes, I'd started to run out of inspiration too, it felt like perhaps my passion there was waning...

I was with my friend S. S and I share a few things in common - a passion for interesting mini-adventures (he'd come up to climb after being inspired by "the dog stake"), a fair amount of diligence and attention to detail placing gear in such situations, and a puerile and vulgar sense of humour that usually results in a contest for how many cocks we can finger draw on each other's cars. And that's where the similarities abruptly end...S is very tall, lean, young, strong, fit (climbing and cv-wise), able-legged, constantly motivated and stoic about travelling around, seemingly unhindered by depression, sociable and affable and part of a vibrant climbing scene. All things I wish I was (well I could live without the "very tall" bit...), most of them out of my reach without vascular surgery / lobotomy / time machine. 

The point is, we were chatting about routes and areas and climbs I'd done and been inspired by, and climbs he was going to do and was inspired by, and it became very obvious that he was on an exciting upwards trajectory through climbs, crags, challenges and exploration.... ... .. And I was winding down. I became acutely aware that in my main passion of trad cragging and sea-cliffs, whilst I had some prominent and deep-seated inspirations left, both minor and major, I was gradually working my way through those that were feasible, and was starting to run low on routes, crags, and determination for all the faff that comes with it - partners, conditions, travelling, uncertainties, intimidation, constantly trying to be on mental and physical form....

This feeling came pretty much out of nowhere - on a trip that was specifically about following inspirations and passions - and blindsided me. I can't recall feeling like that about climbing before. Climbing, for all it's internal and external difficulties, is an incredibly positive experience for me in a wide variety of ways (maybe that's why those difficulties are so frustrating, because they're inhibiting that positivity). To feel I was "running out" of the most important aspect of it for me was bewildering and felt like it was untethering me from myself. 

What the fuck was I going to do after the next few challenges?? Where was it all going?? Why would I be climbing in a few years time?? If I'm winding down, what is the point in it all??

But.... Remember that bit about "incredibly positive experience in a wide variety of ways"?? It's genuine and that passion isn't easily quenched. So my mind started wondering and wandering onto other possibilities and what could keep me going. As well as constantly trying to explore around (and "tick" new crags instead of routes, all over the UK - although this is a desire that is constantly hampered by the fairly fruitless struggle to find like-minded partners), I came up with a couple of options: 

Firstly taking a step back and focusing more on sport climbing and training and the physical side - relaxing into the logistical and psychological calmness of that approach, and hopefully occasionally springing out to do some awesome trad with the confidence from having a larger physical buffer (my buffer then was the size of a midge's foreskin, now it's actually inverted). 

Secondly also taking a step back and focusing on the simultaneously exploratory, challenging, aesthetic and technical delights of bouldering in the UK (and elsewhere). Particularly the endless and endlessly varied Welsh bouldering which has consistently inspired me in the last few years.

So there I had it. There were options, there were inspirations, I would still keep climbing, I'd just change the focus a bit, and see how a fresh approach - particularly easing off on the mental and emotional challenges of pushing my trad climbing, and instead relishing in the physical challenges of pushing bouldering, sport, and training.

...

..

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A couple of months after this - whilst starting to do a bit more bouldering as my trad confidence had remained shaky during the rest of the summer - I pushed too hard in the wrong conditions and injured my left elbow.

Since then - concurrent with my idea to reassure myself and reignite my passion by focusing a bit more on the physical side of climbing - I've been near constantly injured (sometimes, like the LCL, without even pushing myself), for the last 8 months.

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..

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Steps forward, steps back.

A long overdue update that ends up not dissimilar to previous updates?? I've been clawing my way back into climbing over the last couple of months. Easy trad, easy sport, initially easy bouldering, testing my injuries, seeing what they could cope with, testing my confidence and fitness, seeing that they were entirely absent, so working back into roped climbing especially slowly - the new Moelwynion guide has helped a lot with that.

Bouldering seemed to progress better, with my golfer's elbow and LCL strain coping well, and a recent background of board training giving me some strength regains. So naturally and inevitably, I started to try hard and push myself, and naturally and inevitably my recent tennis elbow flared up to the point of being notably injured and requiring a lot of care and restraint again.

So 2-3 weeks of respite and normality, then back to the usual bullshit. I'm starting to realise how crippling inevitable this is when you're too heavy, too old, and don't have the essential pre-climbing background of athletic/fitness activities - and don't have enough self-discipline to bumble along when you're fed up of bumbling along. At least I'm down to one inhibitive injury rather than two or three, but it's still as frustrating as ever.  Of course I'm trying to find ways to work around this, and trying to find options to keep inspired and keep trying to regain back to a normal level...

Things that are OFF the cards: Classic mainstream crags where I've done all the easier routes and only have things that are too hard for me left / board training / excessive bouldering / redpointing / grit because it's too warm obviously.

Plan Bs...

• More sea-cliff mini-adventures: especially Porth Dafrach / Range / Llyn (just the gentle bits!) / Trinity House Walls / Thunderbird Zawn ...and a long weekend at Ynys Lochtan??
• More hidden gem cragging: especially smaller Duddon areas like Crag Band / Tongue House / Gaitkins / Little Stand / Brandy Crag / Buck Crag....and some more Moelwyns of course.
• More conjuring up similarly inspired climbing partners out of thin air 😂😆😐😞☹
• More indoor leading / falling practise
• More indoor stamina circuits
• Maybe a bit of Welsh slab / crack bouldering
• Maybe some steadier sport at venues I haven't climbed out yet...
• Stretching, because I've been neglecting that.
• Boring rehab, as always....
• Lancs quarries for local stuff of course!

Anyway have some photos of some trad and some videos of some bouldering:

What Went Wrong??

The path to recovery is long, slow, and winding. 

And not always as neatly paved as this one.

A month and a half ago I sprained my LCL (lateral cruciate ligament) in my left knee at the wall. I was near the end of a session and was trying a leg-intensive problem to avoid over-using my injured golfer's elbow. I was in a deep squat on my left leg on a hold, right leg and hands on pretty much nothing - this is usually a strong position for me, but this time I heard a crunch in my knee and fell off. I could walk / squat immediately after and had little pain. However seeing a physio the next day showed that I definitely had an LCL sprain and would need to go through the usual slow healing / care / rehab process, which I am doing.

Having just about managed to get my head above water coping with the golfer's elbow injury and partly-associated depression, mostly by relying on slabs and leg-focused stuff, this has been very hard to cope with and has lead to some pretty bleak moments. I've managed to get a bit more stable just recently, and regardless have been sticking to rehab and aggravation-avoidance diligently.

This is the latest in a series of injuries that has either wiped out training time, climbing time, or both, and has got me speculating if there's anything obvious I'm doing wrong. So I've done a retrospective of the last few years (lower down page) to see if there are any common threads (just below).

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Common issues and prevention ideas:

Always pushing to my limit:

Something which I think people often don't believe, because by the standards of many of my peers the end results are entirely unspectacular, and because I've heard that it doesn't look like I'm trying hard - when in fact I'm battling for dear life. The reality is that in any physically focused climbing genre (sport, bouldering, indoors, even gym), I'm always pushing really really fucking hard because that's why I enjoy. This isn't a problem in itself, BUT becomes a problem when that desire / habit overrides common sense in terms of (deep breath) recruitment, preparation, warm-ups, conditions, rest days, physiological imbalances etc etc. 

Prevention: 

WARNING FLAGS checklist (below) - go through this before any challenging climbing session and check that the risk of injury is acceptable / manageable.

IF there's any uncertainty about any of the factors on the checklist, TEST them if possible - probably as part of the warm-up - with something that mimics the risk factors.

Have a Plan B in terms of climbs or venues.

Be wary of the risks involved in a sudden change of situation or focus (climbing to training, outdoors to indoors, wall to gym, etc). A change of focus could be equivalent to restarting an activity after a lot of time off - warm into it as appropriate. 

Not warming up enough:

Related to above, I know that sometimes I don't need to warm-up much at all (good weather, well-recruited from previous climbing / training days), and sometimes I know I need to warm up well (low energy, low mood, too much time off, inactivity etc). But occasionally my judgement and self-discipline is very flawed and I'm too lazy / distracted to warm-up methodically, and definitely risk injury.

Prevention: 

Have a warming up checklist: Temperature & blood flow > conditioning & stabilising > recruitment > injury & sensitivity specific > climb specific.

Refine my warming up to include recruitment. 

Work on habitualising a good warm-up routine. 

Ask my friends and partners to remind me to warm-up properly. 

Think outside the box when it comes to warming up in situations without easy / obvious warm-ups. Play around on rock / wall for movement at least.

Remember that warming up applies after a long period of cooling down, as well as first starting.

Not adapting to weather conditions.

In the UK it weathers a lot. I've been out on a spring weekend when it's been too hot for lime one day and too cold for grit the next. And the calling of the lime is a good chance of blizzards and when I moved to Manc it was 20+ degrees at the end of February. Anyway I'm mostly good at picking a sensible crag for whatever ridiculous conditions have sprung out of nowhere, but not always, and sometimes I definitely have stuck to a plan or desire in adverse conditions that have caused a higher risk of injury for my intended climbing.

Prevention: 

Now part of the WARNING FLAGS checklist (below).

Have a Plan B in terms of climbs or venues.

Not heeding niggles in the earlier or manageable stages.

I often get minor, manageable niggles - from pushing hard, irrespective of whether I should be - which isn't a big problem in itself, BUT becomes a problem when I don't manage those. I'm okay with partly managing them with rehab exercises and some balancing out work, but much worse with using sensible judgement to avoid pushing too hard in extreme situations that are high risk to those niggles.

Prevention: 

Now part of the WARNING FLAGS checklist (below).

Remember that stepping back and taking it easy for a week or two will impact on training and progression much less than having to take it easy for a few months due to full injury. 

Rest from the niggle-stressing activity is crucial, not resting from other activity (but heed change of focus risks).

Impacting with the ground / rock (not pads).

I've always landed like an 80kg sack of spuds, and tend very readily to break rather than bounce, whether it's hitting the rock or more likely the ground. That's how I am physiologically, and recovering from an LCL is maybe not a time when I'm thinking about a "learning to land" course, yet. Incidentally so far I've never had an impact injury from falling on pads nor falling indoors, including some semi-highball stuff outdoors and bouncing off pads etc. 

Prevention: 

Do more varied falling practise indoors and outdoors to learn fall more safely in awkward situations. 

Seriously consider giving up the idea of never using pads before leading / soloing trad routes. 

Take the lower parts of routes seriously rather than casually, and plan for falling risks

Pushing knees to extremes in unusual movements.

It's only happened a couple of times, but with frustrating consequences. I'm not really sure why as I have reasonably strong legs from gym work, and no persistent niggles from running etc. Perhaps just bad luck??

Prevention: 

Warm-up legs better before leg-intensive climbs / problems. 

Have additional WARNING FLAGS for a set of leg movements / positions that might be risky and need extra care, e.g.: Deep squats / heel hooks / heel-toes / drop-knees.

Being heavy.

No shit. An extra 10% weight is an extra 10% stress through all the joints / tissues in question.

Prevention: Get a magic fairy to remove my DVTs and repair my digestion so I can do more CV exercise, get more energy from food, and manage my weight better.

WARNING FLAGS

These are checklists for me to print out (in a better format), stick in my rucksac, stick in my guidebooks, tattoo on my knob (might need a smaller font...), and check off before any challenging climbing sessions.

General risk checklist:

Niggles and injuries / Other physical issues (inc fatigue) / Weather and conditions / Type of climb / Risky holds / Risky moves or positions (including unfamiliar ones).

Previous injury and weakness risk checklist:

Golfer's elbow (both) / Tennis elbow (both) / Shoulder impingements (both, especially right) / Left hand main finger A2 / Left hand ring finger PIP / Left knee in general.

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4 year timeline of injuries:

2017:

November - January 2018: Widespread impact / muscle damage in right leg.

Cause: Falling off the "easy" bit of a challenging route and slamming into an overlap.

Effects: 2-3 months recovering to full fitness / leg use. Kept up with upper body training so no extra muscular detriments (but contracted norovirus in hospital with long term digestive / mood / energy level detriments).

2018:

[July onwards - maximum fitness due to mostly redpointing during summer]

December onwards: Tennis elbow in both elbows

Cause: 4 days bouldering / training, then niggles, then more cold bouldering instead of resting.

Effects: Restricted any harder climbing and any training for several months.

2019:

January to May: Tennis elbow in both elbows.

Cause: 4 days bouldering / training, then niggles, then more cold bouldering instead of resting.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any training for several months, still weak in April.

October to November: Injured / strained lower back.

Cause: Running 0.7 miles to local gym and deadlifting on exhausted / de-oxygenated legs.

Effects: A week off climbing / training and a couple of weeks gently getting back into it.

December to Feb 2020: Tendon sheath injury (?) in left forearm.

Cause: Unknown!

Effects: Some small restrictions on hold usage especially crimps and mixed/split grips.

2020:

[Early August - maximum fitness due to mostly redpointing during summer]

Mid-August to mid-November: MCL sprain in left knee.

Cause: Pushing far too deep in a maximum effort drop knee in poor conditions.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any leg-intensive training for 3 months.

Mid-August to mid-December: Full golfer's elbow in right elbow.

Cause: Deadhanging / pull-ups with little warming up, then steep traversing instead of resting.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any arm-intensive training for 3+ months.

2021:

May onwards: Bicep tendon insertion slight impingement in right shoulder.

Cause: Attempting to climb strenuous sport after freezing on a cold and prolonged redpoint belay.

Effects: Some small restrictions on strenuous climbing, especially pulling into sidepulls / underclings from below.

May: Bruised left heel.

Cause: Dropping a couple of metres off the start of a route.

Effects: Curtailed indoor/outdoor bouldering, heel-hooks, and running for a few weeks.

July to September: Golfer's elbow slight niggle in left elbow.

Cause: Deadhanging / pull-ups with little warming up.

Effects: Little effect at time, manageable with care.

August: Bruised right heel.

Cause: Falling a couple of metres off the start of a route.

Effects: Would have curtailed bouldering as before except it was too warm anyway.

October onwards: Full golfer's elbow in left elbow.

Cause: Attempting to boulder beyond my limit, in the freezing cold, without warming up and without taping up.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any arm-intensive training 4+ months.

November onwards: Sciatica / sore piriformis.

Cause: Unknown but likely change in routine from lots of climbing to more gym / stretching.

Effects: Mostly just annoyance but some confusion when assessing LCL pain.

December onwards: LCL sprain in left knee.

Cause: Single leg deep squat position on indoor problem whilst avoiding elbow-stressing problems.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any leg-intensive training for 3 months.

Mid-December onwards: Tennis elbow slight niggle in left elbow.

Cause: Weighted deadhanging (okay for golfer's) off the couch, to max limit.

Effects: Curtailed further "training" and some gym work and rehab for golfer's elbow.

P.S. For a blog post that is just about recording events and analysing them (which should be fairly simple!!), it's taken a long time for me to write it and try to get it right. Sorry for the length / dryness / anything that doesn't make sense / etc.