Dropping...

 
So last week I felt like I'd regained my fitness and strength and was climbing as good as I have in recent years - on sport onsighting and redpointing at least, I hadn't put it into practise on challenging trad, but I'd even got enough confidence back to be ready to do so. Not only that, I felt generally fit and good (digestion aside), and notably had walked out of Chee Dale to both Wormhill and Topley Pike without resting - almost as rewarding as the climbing, feeling that my body had re-adapted to regular usage and activity.

This week I can still walk, slowly, in a straight line. And that's pretty much it. I can't run, I can't boulder, I can't fall off, I can't do any sudden movements, I can't twist my leg, and I can't climb at any more than 30% capability (which feels more like 60% challenge as I've got to hang on every single move and test every single left foot placement to make sure it's safe and not going to aggravate my left leg). And I probably couldn't dance to gabber either, even if clubs were open.

What I've done is tweaked my MCL (the stabilising ligament on the inner side of the knee) on my left leg, doing a deep drop knee move. Or more specifically, doing a deep drop knee move that I'd never done before, which is the crux of a route right at my very limit, and in particularly doing it in poor conditions which forced me to try too hard as I was slipping off a handhold, and twist the drop knee far deeper than it should have been and far beyond what was safe. It is hopefully a relatively minor tweak, as there just a mild twinge - an unusual warning sign which caused me to drop off immediately - and no sharp pain, no pop, no sudden loss of stability, and no noticeable swelling. Nevertheless, it is definitely injured and inhibitive as above (and any inwards motion, especially with a bent leg, is definitely painful), and will take plentiful rest, rehab, and avoiding relaxed climbing motions.

I could write about the usual bollox this entails: how gutting it is to go so abruptly from good climbing fitness to hobbling around again, how particularly gutting that is after fighting to get that fitness back after lockdown, how even more gutting it is as I'm coming into potentially prime late summer / early autumn trad season (Red Walls and Range South unbanned etc) rather than coming into a dank winter, about how, despite what people say, I *WILL* lose fitness and strength that quickly (reading DMac's Make Or Break, there is some acknowledgement of this: "It is well understood that training gains in muscles strength and endurance are reversible, and that the losses of tissue status begin within a few days of ceasing training" // "Climbers tend to underestimate the effect of even a week of de-training on your ability to absorb hard physical work"). So far so dull.

Instead there's one issue I want to write about that isn't actually an issue. In the depressive state this sort of "emergency stop" injury brings on, it would be easy to lament "I can't try hard in climbing, I can't push myself too hard, my body can't take it, if I'm getting near the top of my game I'm just going to crash out again". Thankfully, this one worry isn't actually true (although it can happen that way).

In this case, my body was coping with and adapting to the demands of regularly fighting hard pretty well, and what went wrong was an outlier:

1. Drop knees are a risky move. Apparently so. I've heard rumours about them. Referring back to MOB: "Drop knees....are the most dangerous movements on rock" // "Drop knees....are used comparatively infrequently, yet demand large forces when they are used" // "Moves where you drop the knee and then move the hand all in one rapid motion may be particularly risky for knee ligaments" // "Possibly the most important preventative measure of knee injuries in climbing is awareness and concentration during dangerous moves such as drop knees."

2. I've never done proper drop knees before. I've done egyptians, sure. But never a proper drop knee where you dip the knee right down. If I have it was very brief and I can't remember it and I certainly haven't used one to try hard. I tend to climb either a bit more flaggy, or a bit more front on and squatty and rock-overy which suits my heavy but relatively un-weak thighs. So I have little experience in the technique and no whatsoever in the limits and risks. 

3. I was pushing too hard and losing judgement in poor conditions. I was, somewhat shamefully, getting a bit desperate for "the tick" and "getting the route done". Sure I was still enjoying the experience of the climbing and of trying it, but part of me was getting a bit obsessed and wanting to get it "out of the way". Shallow motivation that is easily aligned with a weak state of mind, including ignoring the increased difficulty due to poor conditions and still persisting to try to get that possibly unsuitably distant end result.

4. I may be more susceptible due to lack of gym training. According to the physio, the cruciate ligaments are the primary stabilisers in the knee joint, whilst the joining muscles are secondary supportive stabilisers. I don't know if regular gym work helps strengthen ligaments although it might well stimulate them, but the sort I do (short sets of heavier leg work) definitely strengthen the muscles and certainly tests knee stability on squats. I haven't been to the gym for 5 months (the longest period I can remember) due to the lockdown and gym closures and this might have been a problem.

5. So the cause was pretty much ignorance and susceptibility on a risky move. And that is both something that's not a particular problem with my body nor climbing, and something that I can learn from and be aware of. If I'd had a heel-toe in on a similar move in similar conditions, I'd have probably sacked that session off already due to the risk of ankle amputation - because I know the risks. Same with a high heel-hook. If I'd had to do a slap or lunge on a similar move in similar conditions, I'd have probably been fine as the consequences would have been a flapper or something minor. 

So now that's out of the way, what now??

Rest. Rehab. All the physio theraband / wobble board / straight leg etc exercises. Try to strengthen the ligament and the muscles. Avoid re-injury. Train my upper body as hard as possible whilst also avoiding injury. Gently experiment to see what climbing might be possible as I start to recover (my gut instinct is that the ledgiest and shuffliest ledge-shuffles of Anglesey and the Lleyn might be the best as the nature of the terrain not only rarely requires excessive exertion through the holds, in some ways it actively discourages it - whilst at the same time providing enough beauty, inspiration and fun to nourish my soul). Remain diligent. Remain open to possibilities. If recovered enough, try to extend the routes "away season" into autumn as far as the weather allows, and similarly try to start it as early as possible in spring, taking advantages of available sun-traps.