I did some bouldering recently and it looked - and sounded - a bit like this:
According to old skool legend and mild-mannered intellectual Andy Popp:
We have reached peak Fiend - good work sir.Which made my day :). What is Peak Fiend? Ridiculous clothing, ridiculous music, ridiculous enthusiasm for climbing despite both of those? But more than that, it's all just genuine. It's just me. Sure some of it might be a bit silly for some people, sure I might ham up certain aspects to entertain/amuse/provoke others....but those aspects are all part of me. Not that I have to justify this and it's all a bit navel gazing (I need an angled mirror to see past the gut), but it amuses me to explain the process:
6...
A few years ago when I was bouldering around in The County, I saw some cool roof problems that it would be nice to do when it got a bit warmer: Bechstein at Back Bowden, Roof LH at Kyloe Out and Neb Roof at Shaftoe. All properly horizontal, all looked great, all 6C. Hmmm, 6C6C6C....666, this triggered off some nostalgia for my teenage dabblings in LaVey-ian Satanism (before I transitioned into even more ludicrous and unjustifiable militant aestheism before settling on a more realistic agnosticism) and my more mature appreciation for music linked to the dark side in general, and thus provided a theme for the climbing. There had to be 3, they had to be 6C, I had to do them all - not 2, not 4, not a 7A sneaking in there. My aspergers demanded it.
Vague further plans included trying to flash them, trying to do them all in a day, trying to flash them all in a day. Hah! Peak Fiend might be many things but it's not climbing that bloody good. As it turns out Roof LH was abandoned due to being more like 7A+, I did the other two in an hour or so each and after two hours on RLH there were several moves I couldn't do in isolation, B4 Traverse at Back Bowden was subbed in off the benches (Goat Traverse and Extreme Rock were considered but neither made the cut), it might not be a true roof but it is suitably horizontal and suitably great fun. Also abandoned was the idea of doing these in warmer times as would befit such burl, I got psyched and got on with it. This of course required the optimum clothing balance to keep most of my body warm but my skin cool enough for all the slopers. Hence beanie, vest and tracksuit bottoms, a matter of pure practicality and any colour-matching a matter of pure coincidence.
...6...
Bechstein went down fairly quickly, the trio of warm-ups to the right and breezy cave situation setting me up well. The sequence went exactly how I envisaged except for a missing foot sequence going for the lip - and was as cool as I envisaged with the crazy press into a vertical gaston in a roof and flicking into a fingertip undercling, all made feasible by an initially scary (until it popped out annoyingly easily) heel-toe. Neb Roof had always looked the hardest to me, massive holds but only for the upper limbs and since my lower ones weigh quite a bit from DVT distortion / deadlifting beef, I had to do something with them. The notorious toe-hooks first had me raging about them being too morpho for my stumpy frame, but then morphed into a feasible sequence of several feet first movements - all very satisfying. B4 Traverse I'd tried before and was happy to have the baltic breeze on this one, a very precise heel and very precarious slopers saw me scraping along it on a last-ditch attempt of the day.
....6
After this day I drove back feeling exhausted and nauseous, the idea of trying to get a video edited was considerably less appealing than passing out in the Harthill Services carpark for 12 hours. But I guessed correctly my state was cold/hunger induced so at least opened Movie Maker over dinner as my innards slowly settled. Of course the soundtrack was a key issue and I already had plans: Drokz - I Accept The Word Of Satan was essential, which I have on this compilation - yes I still genuinely love gabber, and was listening to some on the way down to Back Bowden the second time. But could I do more?? I've never been a Slipknot fan but have always liked their Heretic Anthem for the catchy chorus "If you're 555 then I'm 666, what's it like to be a heretic?" . Could I mix that in?? Hmmm well...
An hour after getting back feeling like a zombie, I'm downloading Mixxx. Half an hour after that I'm bouncing in my seat as my crude first ever mix actually works: Dropping the first beat of IATWOS as a post-chorus HA breakdown starts, the kickdrum pauses and returns with a bass bounce just as a shouted "Heretic" finishes, then a quick pause in the gabber allows me to flick the speed back up to it's 220 bpm. I am actually more excited than doing any of the problems, as ace as they were. For extra satanic flavour, I manage to drop the main start of Gorgoroth's Untamed Forces (which I have on their album - yes I still genuinely love extreme metal and was listening to this on the way back from Shaftoe) after a drum roll on IATWOS, not a proper mix but the speedcore drumming on UF works well. 3 problems, 3 tracks, one unholy theme, I am unduly giddy.
Peak Fiend is real Fiend...
