An Enthralling Experience.

Possible progressions:
Despite mild but persistent illness, despite a winter mostly off due to that and my leg, I'm tentatively confident with my climbing at the moment. I've been training quite regularly and feeling quite adequate on indoor bloques and routes. Due to the bleak misery of Scotland I've had winters before that are solely dedicated to training but have led into springs solely dedicated to doing pretty well outdoors. However I still have half a mind (okay, most of my mind, it's a bit obsessed) on what I could do to progress. At the moment, by far the biggest improvements to my climbing would be to fix my digestive issues (in progress - seen consultant, due for ultrasound, more bloods, stool test, possible endoscopy) and move somewhere near an actual decent amount of crags (not nearly as in progress as it should be). In terms of what I might actually train for, apart from the usual bollox (stronger, lighter, fitter, lighter, more flexible, lighter, etc), one thing I am focusing on is.....focus. Specifically trying to maintain focus and composure when the situation becomes physically and mentally stressful, which obviously happens a lot climbing trad at your limit, and is harder just to climb through than other disciplines. I'm calling this....

Calm amongst the chaos:
The idea being to keep putting myself in mildly stressful situations while training, and keeping aware enough to accept the chaos, acknowledge how it makes me feel, and try hard to keep calm - and all that entails, e.g. maintaining efficiency, precision, relaxation, etc. Obviously a lot easier said than done but the idea and the awareness is a start. At Kyloe In the other day, there was chaos on two scales: The chaos of the weather, very cool, very windy. Sitting with my back against The Nadser, watching the wind tunnel of tree clearance stretching beneath the grossly underused High T wall, pines weaving and waving at me, there was feeling of calm in my little oasis of light breeze. And the chaos of my initial method of trying the start of the problem: left hand on a ripple combining a 1/4 first joint razor for the lower two fingers and a micro sloper for the forefinger, right hand on a decent 1/3 joint slimper, left foot in micro-navel pocket, pull desperately with left hoping there's not the 1mm creep of skin that is insta-fail, then right toe on a sloping nubbin.....placing the toe and trusting it is the stress, all points of contact tentative and ready to fail. I focus on focus, holding it and springing for the sloping v-notch, occasionally tickling it. Despite feeling a long way from the problem, I enjoy putting my principle into action and viewing it as training, until I find...

A surprising solution:
During rest periods (mostly to let my skin cool down, despite 4'c air temps and -2'c overall temps from 20-30mph westerlies), I alternate between drinking camomile tea, providing moral heckling to The Fox who is mostly eschewing Kyloe power bouldering in favour of easy soloing into moss top-outs, good on him I say as the routes here are bloody marvellous and deserve a lot more traffic, and idly fondling the other non-holds on the Nadser. Bored of diminishing returns on my low-percentage start, I try pulling on on with inimical left hand ripple, right hand on a gratton adjacent to the decent slimper, right toe in a lower central micro-navel, left foot crossed behind me for balance but ready to spring into the original left pocket. This all makes sense but also makes most use of the steepness of the "slab" start, surely I shouldn't be able to compress that hard between two tiny holds, but with cool fresh skin, they feel like...

Bleeding bivvy ledges:
Which is one of the highlights of this problem and indeed winter bouldering in general. The gratton in particular is an unexpected delight, I wish I'd measured it or at least videoed it for my own satisfaction, maybe 3-4mm, perfectly incut as such things are, maybe 1/6th first joint. Yet it works, I squeeze hard enough, flick my left foot on, and catch the v-notch comfortably. I forget how I fell off, maybe surprise that this method is so much more feasible. I do what I always do with a breakthrough, shoes off, go for a stroll, keep both skin and mind calm and dry. Stepping back on, The Fox is loitering to provide ME with moral heckling, and I already have a planned sequence for the top. One go I'm stretching for penultimate slopers but I'm not sure where I'm going and have a hunch it won't work. A quick trot around and a thorough clean and chalk, another go and I tickle the now-obvious holds but too dynamically. Accepting that the full fingertip mantle of the left-hand pico-ramp - pinky springing off to get maximum pressdown - is both unfeasible and essential, I teeter further and do it. A problem that I thought would take many visits is suddenly done in 2 hours (and 4 goes with my new starting beta), surely that can only be...

Cheating conditions:
It's a concept I've had for many years and have sometimes applied well: Try hard with most optimum conditions imaginable, fool the holds into actually being holds, fool myself into actually climbing things that on paper I shouldn't be able to. The essence of learning to boulder on gritstone, I expect. Pretty sure I did that on Brad's Arete pre-ban, definitely did it on Spinal Slab burning 8A Lord Loggington off in attempts required, and always had it planned for Soft On The G in sub-zero temps. And here too, it's essential. The idea of trying to pull on these tinies in anything less than perfect weather is as incomprehensible and bewildering to me as Turkish poetry, thinking in 4 dimensions, or choosing veganism, while moulding my firm skin onto them this day is a genuine pleasure, almost as much as the penultimate move. Given my usual inhibitive sweatiness, I'll happily take this, although I won't take the given grade since: 1. It blatantly isn't and 2. Bouldering grades are horseshit anyway. I will definitely take the thrill of the experience, though :)