Fallin'

I very rarely take trad (or indeed sport) leader falls while climbing. I am far too cowardly for that - scared of falling, scared of the prospect of falling, scared of committing to a situation where I might fall. Although I'm not actually scared when I am falling, the transition from attached and climbing to detached and falling is too much for my poor wee brain to handle. This is probably the biggest hurdle in my climbing and holds me back the most out of any psychological issue. Hence a constant battle to overcome it, and hence semi-regular falling practice at the climbing wall.

Curiously, I have taken more trad leader falls in the last few weeks than I have in the previous decade, as follows:

Thing Of Beauty, Aonach Dubh - short jump off onto gear after going off route due to fucking useless guidebook description and ambiguous line, and getting too pumped to reverse.

Freakout, Aonach Dubh - proper fall due to terminal pump and literally not being able to hang on.

Legover, Creag Dubh - proper fall due to pulling a hold off.

Susan, Mid Clyth - small slump onto gear due to pulling a hold off.

Curiously, although perhaps unsurprisingly, this hasn't made me any less scared of falling. Booo. The Freakout fall was the best and most properist, several metres due to rope stretch, and at the time I was going for it and trying to do a move knowing that I might well fall. The others were pretty minor, maybe this is why - I'm getting used to dropping onto gear but not getting used to committing a long way above it. My fear is quite in proportion to the length of the fall, even though the falling sensations and safety are no worse at all with longer falls. All of which leads me to conclude....ummmm....ahhhh....oh well. Back to the drawing board...