So this is me...

...fucking crippled.

I've had some medical check-ups in the last few days - vascular surgeon and haematologist appointments, with the usual anti-coag and doctor's appointments in between. I had some long discussions with the vasc and haem specialists, following a second MRI Venogram in December, and the summary is:

- My IVC (main vein from my lower body to my heart) is sealed and there is no possibility of opening it (this was to be expected).
- The clots in my legs are dissolving slowly, and will continue to dissolve over the next couple of years but...
- ...they are still present and are likely to be there for years if not lifetime (this is contrary to what I was told in Sheffield).
- The iliac veins in my pelvis are completely blocked and could remain blocked permanently.
- The surrounding collateral veins are taking up the blood flow and will develop over time (a long time?).
- There is nothing chemical nor mechanical which can be done to open these veins up nor speed up the process.

All of which explains why:

- I'm currently at 30% of fitness for running, and 20% for walking uphill, there has been little progress with this.

Which fucking sucks.

As if ONE fucking sealed major vein wasn't enough.

I asked a lot of questions and got the same answers each time: There is nothing that can be done, and my body will dissolve some but probably not all of the clots over time. What fitness I'll get back is completely unknown - it is likely to be more, but no-one can predict how much more. I'll be on warfarin for life, and continuing exercising a lot will be beneficial in helping clot dissolution and over-developing the collateral veins.

All of this encourages me to train hard, push myself harder, go on more trips, explore more, and tick BIGGER FUCKING NUMBERS. As much as my often-fragile mental state will allow - but whilst this might have ruined my leg fitness, it's not ruining my life nor my climbing.