Steps forward, steps back.

A long overdue update that ends up not dissimilar to previous updates?? I've been clawing my way back into climbing over the last couple of months. Easy trad, easy sport, initially easy bouldering, testing my injuries, seeing what they could cope with, testing my confidence and fitness, seeing that they were entirely absent, so working back into roped climbing especially slowly - the new Moelwynion guide has helped a lot with that.

Bouldering seemed to progress better, with my golfer's elbow and LCL strain coping well, and a recent background of board training giving me some strength regains. So naturally and inevitably, I started to try hard and push myself, and naturally and inevitably my recent tennis elbow flared up to the point of being notably injured and requiring a lot of care and restraint again.

So 2-3 weeks of respite and normality, then back to the usual bullshit. I'm starting to realise how crippling inevitable this is when you're too heavy, too old, and don't have the essential pre-climbing background of athletic/fitness activities - and don't have enough self-discipline to bumble along when you're fed up of bumbling along. At least I'm down to one inhibitive injury rather than two or three, but it's still as frustrating as ever.  Of course I'm trying to find ways to work around this, and trying to find options to keep inspired and keep trying to regain back to a normal level...

Things that are OFF the cards: Classic mainstream crags where I've done all the easier routes and only have things that are too hard for me left / board training / excessive bouldering / redpointing / grit because it's too warm obviously.

Plan Bs...

• More sea-cliff mini-adventures: especially Porth Dafrach / Range / Llyn (just the gentle bits!) / Trinity House Walls / Thunderbird Zawn ...and a long weekend at Ynys Lochtan??
• More hidden gem cragging: especially smaller Duddon areas like Crag Band / Tongue House / Gaitkins / Little Stand / Brandy Crag / Buck Crag....and some more Moelwyns of course.
• More conjuring up similarly inspired climbing partners out of thin air 😂😆😐😞☹
• More indoor leading / falling practise
• More indoor stamina circuits
• Maybe a bit of Welsh slab / crack bouldering
• Maybe some steadier sport at venues I haven't climbed out yet...
• Stretching, because I've been neglecting that.
• Boring rehab, as always....
• Lancs quarries for local stuff of course!

Anyway have some photos of some trad and some videos of some bouldering:

What Went Wrong??

The path to recovery is long, slow, and winding. 

And not always as neatly paved as this one.

A month and a half ago I sprained my LCL (lateral cruciate ligament) in my left knee at the wall. I was near the end of a session and was trying a leg-intensive problem to avoid over-using my injured golfer's elbow. I was in a deep squat on my left leg on a hold, right leg and hands on pretty much nothing - this is usually a strong position for me, but this time I heard a crunch in my knee and fell off. I could walk / squat immediately after and had little pain. However seeing a physio the next day showed that I definitely had an LCL sprain and would need to go through the usual slow healing / care / rehab process, which I am doing.

Having just about managed to get my head above water coping with the golfer's elbow injury and partly-associated depression, mostly by relying on slabs and leg-focused stuff, this has been very hard to cope with and has lead to some pretty bleak moments. I've managed to get a bit more stable just recently, and regardless have been sticking to rehab and aggravation-avoidance diligently.

This is the latest in a series of injuries that has either wiped out training time, climbing time, or both, and has got me speculating if there's anything obvious I'm doing wrong. So I've done a retrospective of the last few years (lower down page) to see if there are any common threads (just below).

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Common issues and prevention ideas:

Always pushing to my limit:

Something which I think people often don't believe, because by the standards of many of my peers the end results are entirely unspectacular, and because I've heard that it doesn't look like I'm trying hard - when in fact I'm battling for dear life. The reality is that in any physically focused climbing genre (sport, bouldering, indoors, even gym), I'm always pushing really really fucking hard because that's why I enjoy. This isn't a problem in itself, BUT becomes a problem when that desire / habit overrides common sense in terms of (deep breath) recruitment, preparation, warm-ups, conditions, rest days, physiological imbalances etc etc. 

Prevention: 

WARNING FLAGS checklist (below) - go through this before any challenging climbing session and check that the risk of injury is acceptable / manageable.

IF there's any uncertainty about any of the factors on the checklist, TEST them if possible - probably as part of the warm-up - with something that mimics the risk factors.

Have a Plan B in terms of climbs or venues.

Be wary of the risks involved in a sudden change of situation or focus (climbing to training, outdoors to indoors, wall to gym, etc). A change of focus could be equivalent to restarting an activity after a lot of time off - warm into it as appropriate. 

Not warming up enough:

Related to above, I know that sometimes I don't need to warm-up much at all (good weather, well-recruited from previous climbing / training days), and sometimes I know I need to warm up well (low energy, low mood, too much time off, inactivity etc). But occasionally my judgement and self-discipline is very flawed and I'm too lazy / distracted to warm-up methodically, and definitely risk injury.

Prevention: 

Have a warming up checklist: Temperature & blood flow > conditioning & stabilising > recruitment > injury & sensitivity specific > climb specific.

Refine my warming up to include recruitment. 

Work on habitualising a good warm-up routine. 

Ask my friends and partners to remind me to warm-up properly. 

Think outside the box when it comes to warming up in situations without easy / obvious warm-ups. Play around on rock / wall for movement at least.

Remember that warming up applies after a long period of cooling down, as well as first starting.

Not adapting to weather conditions.

In the UK it weathers a lot. I've been out on a spring weekend when it's been too hot for lime one day and too cold for grit the next. And the calling of the lime is a good chance of blizzards and when I moved to Manc it was 20+ degrees at the end of February. Anyway I'm mostly good at picking a sensible crag for whatever ridiculous conditions have sprung out of nowhere, but not always, and sometimes I definitely have stuck to a plan or desire in adverse conditions that have caused a higher risk of injury for my intended climbing.

Prevention: 

Now part of the WARNING FLAGS checklist (below).

Have a Plan B in terms of climbs or venues.

Not heeding niggles in the earlier or manageable stages.

I often get minor, manageable niggles - from pushing hard, irrespective of whether I should be - which isn't a big problem in itself, BUT becomes a problem when I don't manage those. I'm okay with partly managing them with rehab exercises and some balancing out work, but much worse with using sensible judgement to avoid pushing too hard in extreme situations that are high risk to those niggles.

Prevention: 

Now part of the WARNING FLAGS checklist (below).

Remember that stepping back and taking it easy for a week or two will impact on training and progression much less than having to take it easy for a few months due to full injury. 

Rest from the niggle-stressing activity is crucial, not resting from other activity (but heed change of focus risks).

Impacting with the ground / rock (not pads).

I've always landed like an 80kg sack of spuds, and tend very readily to break rather than bounce, whether it's hitting the rock or more likely the ground. That's how I am physiologically, and recovering from an LCL is maybe not a time when I'm thinking about a "learning to land" course, yet. Incidentally so far I've never had an impact injury from falling on pads nor falling indoors, including some semi-highball stuff outdoors and bouncing off pads etc. 

Prevention: 

Do more varied falling practise indoors and outdoors to learn fall more safely in awkward situations. 

Seriously consider giving up the idea of never using pads before leading / soloing trad routes. 

Take the lower parts of routes seriously rather than casually, and plan for falling risks

Pushing knees to extremes in unusual movements.

It's only happened a couple of times, but with frustrating consequences. I'm not really sure why as I have reasonably strong legs from gym work, and no persistent niggles from running etc. Perhaps just bad luck??

Prevention: 

Warm-up legs better before leg-intensive climbs / problems. 

Have additional WARNING FLAGS for a set of leg movements / positions that might be risky and need extra care, e.g.: Deep squats / heel hooks / heel-toes / drop-knees.

Being heavy.

No shit. An extra 10% weight is an extra 10% stress through all the joints / tissues in question.

Prevention: Get a magic fairy to remove my DVTs and repair my digestion so I can do more CV exercise, get more energy from food, and manage my weight better.

WARNING FLAGS

These are checklists for me to print out (in a better format), stick in my rucksac, stick in my guidebooks, tattoo on my knob (might need a smaller font...), and check off before any challenging climbing sessions.

General risk checklist:

Niggles and injuries / Other physical issues (inc fatigue) / Weather and conditions / Type of climb / Risky holds / Risky moves or positions (including unfamiliar ones).

Previous injury and weakness risk checklist:

Golfer's elbow (both) / Tennis elbow (both) / Shoulder impingements (both, especially right) / Left hand main finger A2 / Left hand ring finger PIP / Left knee in general.

------

4 year timeline of injuries:

2017:

November - January 2018: Widespread impact / muscle damage in right leg.

Cause: Falling off the "easy" bit of a challenging route and slamming into an overlap.

Effects: 2-3 months recovering to full fitness / leg use. Kept up with upper body training so no extra muscular detriments (but contracted norovirus in hospital with long term digestive / mood / energy level detriments).

2018:

[July onwards - maximum fitness due to mostly redpointing during summer]

December onwards: Tennis elbow in both elbows

Cause: 4 days bouldering / training, then niggles, then more cold bouldering instead of resting.

Effects: Restricted any harder climbing and any training for several months.

2019:

January to May: Tennis elbow in both elbows.

Cause: 4 days bouldering / training, then niggles, then more cold bouldering instead of resting.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any training for several months, still weak in April.

October to November: Injured / strained lower back.

Cause: Running 0.7 miles to local gym and deadlifting on exhausted / de-oxygenated legs.

Effects: A week off climbing / training and a couple of weeks gently getting back into it.

December to Feb 2020: Tendon sheath injury (?) in left forearm.

Cause: Unknown!

Effects: Some small restrictions on hold usage especially crimps and mixed/split grips.

2020:

[Early August - maximum fitness due to mostly redpointing during summer]

Mid-August to mid-November: MCL sprain in left knee.

Cause: Pushing far too deep in a maximum effort drop knee in poor conditions.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any leg-intensive training for 3 months.

Mid-August to mid-December: Full golfer's elbow in right elbow.

Cause: Deadhanging / pull-ups with little warming up, then steep traversing instead of resting.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any arm-intensive training for 3+ months.

2021:

May onwards: Bicep tendon insertion slight impingement in right shoulder.

Cause: Attempting to climb strenuous sport after freezing on a cold and prolonged redpoint belay.

Effects: Some small restrictions on strenuous climbing, especially pulling into sidepulls / underclings from below.

May: Bruised left heel.

Cause: Dropping a couple of metres off the start of a route.

Effects: Curtailed indoor/outdoor bouldering, heel-hooks, and running for a few weeks.

July to September: Golfer's elbow slight niggle in left elbow.

Cause: Deadhanging / pull-ups with little warming up.

Effects: Little effect at time, manageable with care.

August: Bruised right heel.

Cause: Falling a couple of metres off the start of a route.

Effects: Would have curtailed bouldering as before except it was too warm anyway.

October onwards: Full golfer's elbow in left elbow.

Cause: Attempting to boulder beyond my limit, in the freezing cold, without warming up and without taping up.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any arm-intensive training 4+ months.

November onwards: Sciatica / sore piriformis.

Cause: Unknown but likely change in routine from lots of climbing to more gym / stretching.

Effects: Mostly just annoyance but some confusion when assessing LCL pain.

December onwards: LCL sprain in left knee.

Cause: Single leg deep squat position on indoor problem whilst avoiding elbow-stressing problems.

Effects: Prevented any harder climbing nor any leg-intensive training for 3 months.

Mid-December onwards: Tennis elbow slight niggle in left elbow.

Cause: Weighted deadhanging (okay for golfer's) off the couch, to max limit.

Effects: Curtailed further "training" and some gym work and rehab for golfer's elbow.

P.S. For a blog post that is just about recording events and analysing them (which should be fairly simple!!), it's taken a long time for me to write it and try to get it right. Sorry for the length / dryness / anything that doesn't make sense / etc.

A Very Secret Slab

Seek and ye shall find....maybe....or just get lost in the woods. 

Paul's Peach Slab, Honley Old Woods - update.

Main problems thoroughly cleaned November 2021

Approach:

The old parking at the end of Hassocks Lane is no longer viable as it's now a public bridleway and even if you park very discreetly and sensibly you'll likely get some self-important twat in the last house / building site blocking you in and waffling on about road traffic act blah blah whatever shut up already you tedious bellend.

Instead, park carefully on the verge next to a gate on the south side of Meltham Road, halfway between Honley Livery Stables and the edge of Honley Village, 50m west of the footpath / farm track leading to Hassocks Lane. Walk north down this track to the woodland, go into the woods and diagonally left for 30m until a carved block points a path leading rightwards, i.e. directly away from the main road. Follow this path for 200m until it reaches the valley edge, and drops down beneath Old Honley Wood Quarry. Turn left onto the path above the edge and follow this for 300m or so until it intertwines with a path on the left, next to the fence on the left. At this point you should be directly opposite a strange silo in a clearing to the left, turn right and the top of the slab should be 20m down the valley slope.

Problems:

The description on the Kirklees climbing site isn't very clear and the update on UKC doesn't help much either! So maybe this will show the potential.... Apart from miscellaneous pebbles and smears, the centre of the slab has few features, but the two main ones naturally lead to distinct and good quality variants. The main holds are a head-height diagonal edge left of centre (with a good starting smear low down), and a very shallow flaky scoop high up with a useful rail at it's bottom.

? - A possible one move wonder up the left edge.

PL - Peach Lefthand 6C?

Shorter but still tricky and good. Right hand gaston the diagonal edge, right foot low smear, and climb straight up on pebbles, with or without the scoop rail to finish.

PP - Paul's Peach 6B+

The original and best linking of the features. Left hand sidepull the diagonal edge, left foot low smear, and reach and rock up right to the scoop rail before finishing slightly leftwards.

PSD - Peach Superdirect 7A?

Fierce pebble pulling to get the most slab value. Just right climb direct on pebbles to the scoop rail, match it and finish slightly rightwards. 

TS - Tentative Steps 4+

Link the lower diagonal runnel and a good flat hold above to gain the right crest of the slab.

Low Traverse - It would also be possible to do a rather fun traverse from the good footholds on the left edge all the way into Tentative Steps to finish.

Solace Part 2

Maybe a post about actually climbing for a change??

(Edit, and warning: there now are a lot of words about climbing in this post, I got carried away)

It's still a struggle. I want to push myself. I want to be climbing at over 50% capacity. I want to train. I want to bivvy beneath the 30' board in the new Depot training room. I want to feel the cranking. Sigh.

But there's a little bit of stuff I can do, apart from easy circuits indoors and trying to work out why the fuck my pelvis and left leg are constantly aching and tweaky despite exercise and stretching. Mostly easy grit, slabs, and easy grit slabs. Thankfully all of those things are rather good so there's some pleasure to be had in the usual luck-based scrittle malarkey of sliding off smears, pinging off pebbles, being unable to reach holds, and moaning about skin / conditions. So here's a little tale about most of those...

M20 and I went questing off to Standing Stones. He promised me a Bonjoy 6C slab, and the chance to heckle him on a downsloping lip traverse just above the pads and then a large drop-off so if the climber fell and the precariously bridged spotter fumbled, you'd both end up plunging headfirst into a likely bottomless pit in the boulders below. I promised myself to get a decent walk, fresh air, and not aggravate my elbow, which is sometimes all I aim for these days.

I'd actually been for a recce last autumn (previous golfer's elbow AND tweaked MCL rehab...) and spotted a few things including this slab that featured one of the two defining characteristics of the extensive SS boulderfield: boulders that either don't have a landing, or are so wedged and jumbled that they don't form problems at all. Since this only featured the former, I decided to investigate further whilst M20 was brushing scrittle or looking lustily at grouse or something. 

The slab was indeed attractive, the terrain beneath it less so, consisting of an artisanal blend of holey bits and jaggy bits and finely seasoned by a suitcase-sized block jutting right out over it. It turns out that the latter was in a fairly relaxed state about it's current position and decided it's ultimate destiny in life was to roll down into one of the afore-mentioned holes in a position which initially seemed equally jutting and inconvenient but actually provided a useful centerpiece around which other unstable blocks could migrate towards and cuddle up next to. An hour or so later there was, miraculously, a landing. And it seemed that no mosses, lichens, ferns nor rodent nests were disturbed in the transition, indeed scarcely a displaced woodlouse was spotted.

...

After some stones had partaken in downwards motion, it was incumbent for the climber to attempt upwards motion. A lone excellent sidepull provided both the solution and conundrum, and it quickly became apparently that it's more obvious orientation naturally led the climber off onto the left arete rather abruptly, albeit after a very pleasant smear-stepping start (Solexit 6A). A more direct line didn't seem to work and I started to lose interest, and, somewhat prematurely, left Gritstone Jesus to take over. He worked out an extended smearing sequence that used the Hold to gaston back right and up, leaving a final smear and stretch to a particularly enticing pebble, at which point the gritstone decided to take revenge for all the downwards motion earlier on, and the pebble and climber joined the downward motion...

At this point the Gritstone Gentleman, after a half-hearted attempt discovering the remaining hole was a pale shadow of the pebble it once embraced, confessed that he was feeling a bit reluctant to fully go for it, as I'd put all the effort into fixing the landing and really I should be giving it a fair go. Gulp. So I did, and the climbing started to feel pretty damn interesting - a different extended sequence of smears led back to the same position, and a worse, higher pebble showed potential to reach the top. After a few tentative dismounts, I pulled on the pebble, bridged a foot onto a ripple and reached.... ....the bloody left arete, albeit a lot higher. 

This was something I hadn't intended nor desired. The problem was already a bit eliminate in that you had to move back right to avoid easier ground, and I wanted it to be a logical eliminate with a simple "avoid the left arete" description. I checked if I could reach the top directly (not really), tried a few more times, skidded off a higher smear, ran out of time and shuffled away. 

But it kept nagging at me, and inspiring me, and it's been a while since I've been able to feel inspiration or anything that motivational. I didn't think there was much to improve to do that last move more directly, just having more time to persist with it and hope the luck part of the luck based scrittle appeared out of somewhere. I bade my time, cleaned off an excellent project to tempt M20 back, and thought about smears. 

...

Eventually M20, MG and I went back - the closest Standing Stones has got to an actual send train! We downgraded the Bonjoy 6B+, did a new one move wonder undercut arete I found - Careless Pork - and I got back on the slab. And exactly the same thing happened, the best position I got into, the way for me to progress was rolling onto the arete. Again I tested the stretch to the top, this time with more diligence, to discover I'd have to be on tip-toes on the crucial ankle-down smear to reach it. Again I passed the baton on, and M20 stretched the very top of the arete and slab apex to match. With the team's support, the assessment was that where you reach from the final position wasn't the main thrust of the problem, and effectively I'd already done it last time. This was quite weird for me, closure of the inspiration not by success but by changing the goalposts.

Post-match analysis however revealed some logic, in which I was inspired by writings of the ex-Newcastle now Cymru captain Pantontino. It's nice for new things to make clear-cut sense: Follow the line from the bottom to the top. But sometimes they don't. Bits of rock impinge, easier ground impinges, features lead away from the best climbing. Guidance from a well-written guide nudges the climber to make the best use out of the rock, even if it means guidelines on what to do. In this case, matching the Hold and rocking back right locks you into the sequence of smears and pebbles until you're bridged higher and either slap the upper arete or the top. Yes you go back to the arete if you can't reach the top, but only after 6 tricky and delicate moves away from the much easier start-sidepull-arete problem.

So it's a flawed result, but there's now a feasible problem with good climbing. It's about 6C/+-ish maybe.

And the name??

Solace.

Strategies

I somehow got away with another moany, whiney, self-pitying and inanely negative AHEM I mean disarmingly honest which most climbers can identify with blog post. Not only that, I had some nice supportive words from people, which has nudged me towards doing something more productive with the topic. Thus, based on my own experiences: 

Some snappily-titled ideas of how to cope with physical and mental setbacks and disorders whilst trying to keep climbing...

Keep turning up / Get through each day

This is not as optimistic as "Keep turning up to some sort of climbing relevant activity", nor "Keep turning up to the crag", let alone "Keep turning up to your challenging project". It's more like keep turning up to life, get through each day, day by day. Unless you've got an illness more swiftly terminal than life itself, you can probably spare a few days, or weeks, or months, just to survive and cope with whatever issues you need to. The lost strength / fitness / confidence can be regained.....IF you're still alive, and have kept a basic amount of self-care (eating normally, sleeping, avoiding substance reliance, etc). 

A day where you can say "I'm still alive" at the end of it is good.

A day where you can say "I didn't do anything to worsen my physical / mental issues" is better.

A day where you can say "I did something, no matter how small, to alleviate / improve my issues" is better still.

It's pretty bleak being reduced to this level, but if you are, this is what you have to resort to. 

Just keep moving

We're motive beings attempting a motive activity / lifestyle. Even if we can't do anything specific or even supportive towards that activity, it is essential to keep moving, keep active, keep healthy. Both getting through the difficult periods will be easier if there's some form of exercise (endorphins / fresh air / less stiffness and aches and pains / easier rehab / better sleep / better appetite), and it will be better groundwork for recovery and regaining strength/fitness.

Yes, it's best if it's as close as possible to the desired activity, yes it's best if it's stimulating, enjoyable or progressive/training. But if it's not, just keep moving. Want to have a nice hard session cranking on plastic but your injury is so bad you can only go for a shitty road run?? That's moving, it's better than nothing. Want to go do some cool suntrap sea-cliff climbs but you're so cowed by depression you can't even message potential partners, and instead you book a fucking yoga class?? That's moving, it's better than nothing. Want to do 30 mins of beastmaking and you can only force yourself for a 10 min walk?? That's moving, it's - just about - better than nothing.

Beginner's mind

To try to retain some enjoyment in climbing, go back to basics. Go back to easy stuff. If all you can do is easy stuff, try to make the most out of that, and try to find what enjoyment and learning you can get from that. Yes easy moves suck and aren't nearly as stimulating as hard moves, but they can still be fun - it helps if you don't climb exclusively on limestone of course... Recapture what it was like before obsession progression and goal chasing, accept your new "reduced" state and work with that. Climb easy stuff well, climb it really well, focus on being in the moment and being in the movement. This might even be progressive for the future when you don't punt off the 5b slab on your s1ck pr0ject....

Diversify / Love the one you're with

In such dire circumstances it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to do the climbing you really desire (the same is governed by location and seasons too, of course). But if you can manage to do something, try to adapt your goals and your satisfactions to what is available to you. Climbing boils down to the act of moving over an impending surface and there are many ways to do that and hopefully many ways that some variant of that core motion can be enjoyable even if it's very distant from your specific aspirations. 

Try to focus down on aspects that can be pleasurable - the feel of the holds, the bite of an edge, the trusting of a smear, the changing of balance, the burning sensation in muscles, the flow of a sequence.

Or try to experiment with things you don't normally do. Jamming? Mantel practise? Coordination problems? Hands free problems? Falling practise? Beastmaker hang benchmarks?

See what else you can fix

If you're rehabbing from an injury, you're having to climb at a much gentler level, and you can't push your body as much, and certainly can't directly train as much. But no doubt there's other areas that you could progress with, to either fix other niggles and aches and pains, or to train supporting areas that could be beneficial in the future. Got a frustrating golfer's elbow tweak?? Maybe... look at that shoulder impingement at the same time, try to sort out that swollen PIP joint, do some work on the aching pelvic area, sore piriformis, and tweaky hip, do some stretching to ease up back mobility, and a lot more stretching to for general flexibility, keep working on core for body tension and legs for those rockovers (any correlation with what I'm personally trying to do is entirely coincidence....).

It's all in the mind

If you're rehabbing your mind, it can be a mighty fucking struggle. Sorry, I know it's bloody hard for anything to alleviate that. But I can reiterate just how much one's mindstate clouds judgement and perception and obscures the reality. In the midst of depression everything is viewed through a very bleak, very murky, very monochrome filter. But this IS just the filter. There's the reality, and there's how you perceive it. Knowing this logically won't help much when you don't feel it, but if it helps a tiny fraction, that's something. Trying to focus on objective realities of the situation, e.g. "It will take me 2 months to heal, and 2 months to regain strength, so in 4 months I will be physically back to normal" may help to cut through the bleakness, again a tiny fraction. Use any moments of alleviation in mood to check the reality and remind yourself what it's like without the filter.

Misery loves company

But it can also be diluted by it, and it can be important to stay social. Obviously this will vary from person to person but I think generally keeping involved with other people is regarded as a positive thing for most humans. Ideally the focus should be just about getting out (or in!) with people and sharing the activity, not about off-loading your woes (although almost everyone will be sympathetic to the usual climber injuries!!). Just hanging out (and doing some moves together) can alleviate issues a lot without even having to mention those issues. 

This does become a lot harder when it seems all of your friends / climbing partners are invariably busy, have their own groups / plans, don't receive messages, aren't in suitable locations, etc etc, and attempts at staying sociable fall on deaf ears. At these times it takes some persistence to keep banging your head against the wall - try to get something organised, get knocked back, pick yourself up, and do it all over again the next time. Obviously this is especially hard if you're already struggling, aside from simply being patient one possible idea is to try to habituate it and make it as much of a routine as rehab and some form of exercise.

An alternative is to keep part of the community even if it doesn't directly involve meeting other people. Route and boulder cleaning, guidebook work, exploring crags and taking photos, sharing experiences online, engaging with people in climbing forums / groups, getting back in touch with old mates etc etc. It can help you feel a bit more like a climber-on-sabbatical rather than a non-climber, and might be useful groundwork for the future.

It all adds up

This motto mostly sums up all of the above tactics: Every little bit of positive action you take will add up, whether it's adding up to rehabbing and healing, adding up to getting through the bleak shit miserable times, adding up to regaining strength / fitness, or adding up to progressing in the future. Celebrate and take heart with every small thing you do, because you've done in it, and doing that small thing is better than not doing that small thing, and "better" IS positive.

Whatever you do, don't paint toy soldiers

Yes alternative hobbies are good, yes distractions are good, yes creative endeavours are good, but seriously, painting fucking toy soldiers?? Get a grip. It's extremely time-consuming, phenomenally sedentary, completely introverted, and arguably the worst possible hobby to maintain any form of active functionality. It's a fucking terrible idea, just don't do it.

Solace??

 
So. I lost my confidence, I lost my motivation for organising away trips, I got depressed.

I came up with a cunning plan to deal with this: 

I delayed the climbing that I was struggling with, I put on hold the more complex trad challenges, relinquished them to next spring, and started to think about preparing for that in advance.

I gave myself a focus for training, taking a slightly longer term view to try to address my genuine need to have a bit more in reserve physically to tackle those challenges, and anticipating winter to be a good time for that.

I dialled my climbing back to something that was manageable but enjoyable and could contribute to progression: Logistically easy but physically challenging, mostly bouldering, often starting exploring Welsh limestone.

In short I sought solace in enjoying the physical aspect of climbing, whilst relaxing a bit and being patient and preparative.

...

Then I went bouldering on the top of the Little Orme on a bitterly windy day. One of the craglets had the cold wind raking along it and I had to wear a duvet jacket just to try to start climbing.  That was the sheltered crag - at the exposed one I could barely stand up to look at the lines and had to walk back at a 30' angle so I didn't get blown back to Manc. Back at the former I was looking for an autumn project to push myself on, and decided the best course of action was to warm up by vigorously brushing some holds (this did deceptively raise my core temperature), not tape my niggling elbow, and start working a 45' overhanging beyond-my-limit project move-by-move... 

Maybe I didn't notice how badly I'd aggravated my golfer's elbow because everything had gone numb?? Whichever way, I am a fucking idiot.

Solace - gone. Training plans - gone. Relaxation - gone.

Depression - back, with reinforcements and heavier anti-Fiend weapons.

The overall plan for this time had been: Get fitter, get stronger, get more powerful, get more confident physically, get better prepared for next trad season.

Now the imminent future is: Get less fit (and heavier?), get weaker, get less powerful, get more timid and much less confident physically, feel increasingly distant from any trad season.

...

What I'm doing of course is rehab (with good advice from Process), gentle climbing (at least gritstone bumblecircuits are quite pleasant, and indoor walls have plenty of slabs and non-pulling nonsense on them these days), keeping active by going out exploring, going to the gym, and focusing on the minimal things I can train: core, and especially flexibility. Interestingly since I've been doing less proper climbing and more of the latter, I've got all sorts of pains around my hips, buttocks, groin, knees etc. Nothing too inhibitive but extra physical niggles that actually I don't really need.

I still have the same cunning Plan B mentioned at the start of this post, but it's all pretty much delayed until I've healed my elbow to a manageable state. Thus any updates around here are going to be pretty sporadic, unless I find any ethics to rant about. Anyone seen any peg-bolted lower-offs recently??

Anyway here's a couple of things from the recent but very distant-seeming time when I only had mental inhibitions:

A nice little boulder problem.

A fairly mediocre video mostly due to the light and angles and forgetting my camera and using my phone fingertaped to a tripod, but it was only a few days before I properly aggravated my elbow and it does show I was pretty confident with both cranking up things and jumping off things (even though some of those drop-off landings felt as hard as the climber is heavy!!).

Mini-Adventures #4

 
(Ab)normal service resumes??  They're getting mini-er and slightly less adventurous, but no less fun-spirited...

Fear Test, Rhoscolyn. A well-named wee route combining boldness with steepness, although thankfully not exactly at the same time. Hidden out of view just below me is an "alarmingly steep groove" that only partially lives up to that promise, having neither a good crack at the back nor enough angularity for good bridging at the front. It does have good holds which is quite welcome when fiddling in spaced and obtuse cams. Once this is dealt with, it is a matter of some elation popping through the steepest bulge out onto the biggest jugs and romping to the top. 

8b+ Reeve was trying to persuade me that this was a good option to warm-up and get inspired for Big Sunday E5 6a just to the left, equally alarming in angle but woefully lacking in any form of groove-based respite. Funnily enough 7b+ Fiend politely declined (okay, there was no politeness actually involved....).

Grazed And Confused, The Range. This is one of the mini-adventures of the year. One star, a completely wrong topo of an adjacent route, a hopeless description, and good potential to be lowered into the sea if you muff the crux. I was extremely close to backing off when the the last two factors saw me in a stable position but struggling to decide between a highly off-putting hard and protectionless roof above me or a highly offputting cramped traverse to swing blindly out in space to the right of me. Reeve was disarmingly cheery and encouraging on belay whilst I was sweating and stalling. Eventually the swing right was right and led to more comprehensible terrain and a feeling of "I'm not quite sure how I committed through that and ended up here but I'm bloody glad I did". 

This route had it all packed into a compact size: interesting line, variety of climbing, essential Gogarth "hanging slabs" and "shuffling between roofs", funky rock, good gear where needed, the lurking zawn below... 

The correct description: 

From the palatial ledges, step down and traverse right on an easy slab until it is possible to pull up a blocky feature to beneath the main roof. Make an increasingly cramped traverse right and a committing swing around the corner to pull up onto easier ground on the grey corrugated slab. Climb through the weakness in the overlap above to finish up the yellow slab.

The Range at sunset - obviously the fantastic light came out just after all the climbing was finished!! This is mostly looking towards Emmenthal Zawn, Wensleydale Walls, and The Fortress on the right. Lurking out of shot are Housetrap Zawn, The Old Steam Piano, Curious Yellow, Daichotomous etc etc.

Cilan Head, looking North from Mur Y Fulfran. Cilan Main is partly tucked out of view just behind the brighter white patch that's just right of centre. Zawn Two is the shaded buttress nearer by with the diagonal top. This was taken from the very amenable (tidal considerations aside - yes it really is that bad for swell!) MYF - Cilan Lite at it's litest!

Cantre'r Gwaelod, Mur Y Fulfran. Silence Of The Clams climbs the chimney to the left, I'm Not Swimming Now climbs the stepped corner to the right. This is a rather fine route for anyone who is a fan of cranking through slabby bulges, as it mostly involves cranking through slabby bulges. This, and a couple of other cool little routes that we did, was disarmingly normal and conventional, despite the feeling of general wildness and "not like anywhere else" that the area has. Given the suntrap location there might be more mini-adventures here this autumn who knoweth....