You Should Have Seen The Looseness Of The One That Got Away...

Recently I've had some setbacks with my amateur chossaneering. I seem to have come up with an abrupt wall where the gentle terrain of "Big G grading routes quite softly in his later climbing years" suddenly rears up into daunting scenarios of "Big G grading routes in direct comparison to his multiple Gogarth E7 6b roof crack heyday", and unlike the rock in reality, this particular wall doesn't seem soft or wobbly enough to pull a few bits off and sneak around it. Thus I'm running out of routes I can pretend my way up by climbing very slowly and gently and ignoring the dubious structural integrity, and starting to be faced with things that are actually hard. And then there are other issues with off-piste routes that don't get nearly the repeats they deserve:

The latest shambles looked a bit like this:

Dichotomous, The Range - superb bit of rock in a superb situation. The first two superfluous pegs I pulled out by hand. The essential gear protecting the crux along an expanding undercling finger flake with lichenous smearing consisted of the one remaining bendy peg with rust flaking off it and a missing RURP. The long fall from here would leave on having to be lowered into the sea. I bailed.

The Blue Horse, Porth Dafrach - Warming up on Caff's minor sandbag DAME was fun. Feeling the greasy flakiness at the start of The Blue Horse and trying to envisage the brutal laybacking required for upwards/outwards progress along with protecting the whole sheningan was less fun. I bailed.

Angel Of The West, The Range - On paper this is a mere half a grade harder than Surreal Estate that had been a perfectly charming womble the previous day. In reality it must be a good 3 grades harder. I have looked at AOTW from many angles on 4 visits, and have been doing specific training for it on The Depot roof and The Boardroom DWS roof, and it still looks utterly and incomprehensibly outrageous. I bailed (but I'm still thinking about the fucking thing).

Three Day Event, Porthllechog - more like Three Metre Event as that's about how high I got up it. Somewhat more conventional in angle and situation than the other routes but, well, my guts had been bad that morning (for absolutely no fucking reason), the refreshing breeze all day had dropped in time for my attempt, there seemed to be plant life covering crucial holds, I'm a wimp, etc etc. I bailed.

---

Anyway, all of this got me thinking, thinking about some proper choss, proper potentially wonderful routes, and the Top Three That Got Away, which goes a bit like this....

Gold, North Pembroke

Wow. Okay. This one. Honestly, if I'd got up this (a one star route at a grade I've done dozens of), it could have been the route of my life. Rainbow Zawn looks quite impressive from the side....but from below, it's unbelievable. It was genuinely hard to take in how impressive and intimidating it looked - constantly overhanging end-on strata of culm sandstone and shale. I battled for an hour up the first pitch to find that a section through an overhang (shared with an E3 5b!!) was missing and I couldn't work out how to climb it. I left a wire and krab in-situ and this update for UKHitlering (which never made it on afaik)

"An epic climb that is one of the easiest (!) lines up a shocking cliff. Originally graded E4, the first pitch has lost holds including at least one crucial ledge, and it is a very different experience to South Stack / Lleyn / Craig Llong E4s. The end-on shale strata are ungenerous with holds so expect an awesome adventure with hard, strenuous climbing as well as the obligatory loose rock, rope-cutting edges, rusty pegs and sandy cracks."

I still regret not doing it.

Back To The Old Ways, Atlantic Coast

Immortalised on film with me backing off it, tail firmly between stockings. A very cinemogenic King Line chosen for Cheque's Seaside, as a light digestif to accompanying Duncan on Eroica (and the bugger calmly encouraging me onto Black Magic despite my qualms). Alas it wasn't meant to be, the choss quotient was perfectly fine (in it's own shaley way) but the much-harder-than-graded climbing with much-smaller-than-required gear was a bit too much. A pity as it really did look ace.

Kelly's Eye, Lleyn

A recent inspiration and retreat. A great bit of rock in a lovely wee zawn, but this time whilst both the climbing and gear on the first pitch seemed manageable, the choss was in full effect with almost everything feeling crunchy, or wobbly, or indeed both. Yes, I backed off the first 5a pitch, but abbing down (with the lone belay stake reassuringly backed up by the dog stake), the two 5b pitches looked just as hard and terrifying as they did from the slope opposite. I suppose when someone (Littlejohn) who has been E6 new-routing for decades, including the Lleyn, warns that "some of the rock requires a light touch", I should probably be extra wary despite the lowly grade. So the right decision, but still disappointing. 

---

Back to the present day. It feels a bit weird to run out of inspiration at The Range. I do love it there. So gentle and peaceful and beautiful and weird and sketchy on the routes. But there's odds and sods to pop in for, and other coastal gems to explore and the bird bans are off South Stack this weekend... I just need to get some fucking confidence back as it's taken a bit of a beating with these retreats, my digestion being up and down, my sport fitness going to pot (too much amateur chossaneering, sigh), etc etc. Fingers crossed.

The Wedge Keeps Thickening...

...thickening like a fat greasy chode, which pretty much sums up the state of the climbing scene.

Yes. Ken was right after all. Bellowing like Canute at the ceaseless tide of crap new bolts surging towards his sandcastle, but he had a point. All the wedge-deniers - you're wrong. It is happening, it is here, the bolts are here. The wedge has thickened from additional sport climbs to re-equipping of sport climbs to sporadic retro-bolting of mostly fixed gear routes to straight out full on retro-bolting of good reasonably protected trad routes. 

I do fucking loads of sport climbing throughout the UK both as training for trad and for an inherently strong pleasure in it's own right. I thoroughly appreciate proper sport crags, proper re-equipping of shoddy old sport routes that are mostly run-outs on caving bolts and bits of coathanger, and sometimes obvious and justifiable retro-bolting of neglected trad routes that were full of fixed gear, never really offered a satisfactory trad experience (and indeed were closer to sport experiences when first put up before the fixed gear rotted).

I am profoundly less convinced when this bolting fervour sweeps onto good and protectable trad routes. And the more I explore around the lime, the more I see this happening all over... E.g.

Attermire

Almost completely retrobolted away from the main crag, including classic HVS/E1s that if not fully retroed have been compromised by bolts. 

High Stony Bank

Some good new sport additions, but stuff like Oedipus, which was on my list after seeing a photo, has been lost to bolts despite following an attractive flake crack system.

Lower Pen Trwyn

I took my rack down to do Jacuzzi Jive and Twisting By The Pool that I've always wanted to do (I've got them earmarked in North Wales Rock from a decade ago).... And they've been retroed too. As it happened I pretty much did Twisting By The Pool on trad, but caved in and clipped one bolt to back up the wire on the headwall crux, I'm dropping one E-grade off for that. Aside from that one move it is perfectly well protected with wires and a perfect waste having it as another F6b+ on a crag that really doesn't need that many of them.

Marine Drive

Whilst Beaverbrook might arguably be a sensible retrobolting proposition compared to it's previous mono-peg incarnation (somewhat out of character with the generally reasonably protected routes around there), Pure Mania further around is definitely NOT. I lead this a couple of years ago, and in character for the crag it was a great wee trad experience, a bit run-out, a bit thoughtful, a bit technical. Just a proper good trad route. Now it's a line of fucking bolts. 

The latter examples particularly baffling / infuriating. Pen Trwyn has, in my experience, always been a bastion of balance, a showcase of trad and sport sitting side by side, with neither impinging on the other, where you can have great experiences of both genres right next to each other, (and where the quality of the rock and climbing transcends Pete's miserly understarring ;)). It should have stayed as that great example, rather than another example of insidious wedge-thickening. 

What next?? Melkor has a thread in and most nearby routes are partly bolted - should that be another F6b-ish thing?? No. Fuck that, it's a lovely trad climb, I did it last week as a warm-down in the evening sun and wouldn't have wanted a single bolt other than the lower-off. It won't happen, huh?? It already IS fucking happening...

I always suggest the first and most important course of action should be:

1. Thoroughly clean the route up including removing vegetation and loose rock, scrubbing and chalking the holds (yes, some effort, but less, and much cheaper, than retro-bolting).

2. Replace essential fixed gear with like-for-like if possible. Install lower-offs if the finishing terrain is too appalling (as it sometimes gets).

3. Publicise the route(s) all over. Get some nice photos of people leading them in a pristine state. Shout it from the social media roof-tops. Write an article for UKWebanpeopleunjustifiably.com, update the logbooks.

4. In short, give the trad routes, and trad climbers, a fighting chance BEFORE reaching for the drill.

In the meantime I'm either going to have to get on any limestone trad routes pretty damn quickly. Or buy a re-chargeable angle grinder. Suggestions on a postcard...

P.S. Vaguely on topic, here's a disgruntled miserable old sport-hating trad dinosaur in action:

The Bloods  - I've wanted to do this for a while since the rather evocative photo of Redhead on it in ...And One For The Crow (my 3rd tick in the book after Poetry Pink and Young And Easy... , I probably won't get many more!!). In the accompanying essay / demented rambling, he says it was first done with two bolts, then ended up with 7 bolts and a lower off. It's actually only 5 bolts and a lower off and is still a bit run out for a sport route at the start, middle, and finish. Should this have been left as a sparsely bolted semi-trad route?? I don't know - would it have provided a good, intricate, nut-slotting, committing trad experience?? It didn't look like it, but if someone had chosen to take a strong stand for it, that would be fair enough.

Julio Juventus - partly done because a friend was on the first half (a very logical pitch in it's own right) and partly done to avoid failing to flash Axle Attack or Mayfair! I somehow scraped through this one despite botching the my feet on the first crux and simply not having enough feet on the second crux, thus having to skip an unfeasible clip, and I got away with it and was pretty chuffed with my commitment. No idea about a previous trad / semi-trad status of this one. 

Creative Urges

Here's something I did recently (although I've been wanting to do it for years...a decade?)

https://soundcloud.com/fiend-ophobia/96darkness

A semi-mix / segued selection of 30 classic dark drum'n'bass / techstep tracks from the mid-late 1990s, the era between Origin Unknown's Valley Of The Shadows creating the darkside, and until Bad Company's The Nine took it to the next rave level. Especially 96-98-ish when early Ed Rush, Nico, Optical, Doc Scott, Ray Keith, Trace etc were creating a maelstorm of stomping 2-step beats, furious amen breaks, deep reese bass and haunting sci-fi atmospheres. 

This is something I had planned a very long time ago - I had a rough tracklist written down with reasons for each position, limited to 70-ish minutes to be hypothetically written to CD! It was partly inspired by this being my favourite era of drum and bass, despite still loving stuff right up to the present day (and future!), and partly by a few tracks and mixes, specifically: Shadow Boxing / Secrets in particular, John B's recent and fantastic Wormhole old skool techstep mix that has alas disappeared off Youtube, The Prototype Years album, and the Torque album (still a classic to this day even if I only included one track)

I'm bloody chuffed with this to be honest. Sure it's simple, but I've put lots of thought and inspiration into the tracklist and ordering, and if I found this online, it would be one of my favourite "mixes" ever, just for the track selection. Even after so many partial listens during hours of chopping away in Audacity, I still enjoy it - and feel like it is a creative venture overall, and one that I'm most proud of, along with my North Wales Outliers bouldering video from 2 years ago, which I view in a similar way. I guess I do other creative stuff like toy soldiers and sporadic game map design, bit there's something about the aforementioned edits that are special to me.

I say "semi-mix" because I'm not a DJ and can't really mix, but there are some aspects I think are close enough to mixing and work pretty well, here's a few thoughts from the process:

Segues / tracks of note:

Terrorist > Pulp Fiction

This was the first bit I ever tried, just having two Youtube videos playing side by side and quickly pausing one and playing the other to see if the drop worked, and it did! I couldn't get the original version of Terrorist but the updated revamp works fine I think.

Shadow Boxing remix > Your Sound remix 

The second bit I planned, I remember John Peel playing SB remix and commenting on the notorious "record fuck up" section, and I knew I had to do something with that, and it happens that YS remix also has a vaguely similar section, so it's almost like a rewind, -ish ;)

Sonar > Lost In New York

The worst / crudest segue of the lot I think. LINY had to go in and this seemed the best spot but the structure of the two tracks is so different there's little I could work out. I think LINY into Still works pretty well though.

DJ SS - Lost In New York - I never heard this in any mixes except one on a magazine cover CD, and I think it's brilliant, heavy and well crafted and highly atmospheric, it had to go in.

Edtrafienical > Secrets

I thought this would "mix" well given that both tracks have distinct and clear 2-step beats, but somehow the edits in Secrets made it really tricky to get the right bit. In the end I'm really pleased that it worked.

The Raven > Mute

Another bit I'm really pleased with, a simple "mix" but the 2 step beats from Mute just fit surprisingly well with the bassline of Raven

To Shape The Future > TSTF remix > TSTF amen mix

Surely one of the greatest things in the history of DnB?? 3 bloody brilliant and surprisingly diverse track versions. I bloody love the drop into the amen mix :D

Equinox - Some Kind Of Illusion - a bit more laid back for the era, early stripped back breakage, from the birth of Renegade Hardware.

Rob & Goldie - The Shadow (Process mix) - this was on a Moving Shadow special 100th release EP, and the full track is a 9 minute epic with a massive intro build-up. Amazingly it's a remix by Rick Smith from Underworld (I'm not a fan myself) and is proper classy.

Embee - Fractured Soul - another one I never heard in a mix but I really love the combination of playful, almost delicate beats and noises, with those occasional waves of absolutely apocalyptic amens.

Cybin - Roller - this featured on John B's Wormhole mix, but I've loved it for many years from an Emcee records Knowledge mix CD. Huge energy and ridiculous bass that I had to keep toning down after testing in the car.

Dom & Roland - Imagination - a bit cheeky as this is just outside the specified era but it captures and refines all the dark techstep facets of that era perfectly into one of my favourite tracks. So much so that instead of the very natural ending at the main breakdown, I had to let the whole the play out to earworm everyone to fuck :D.

Enjoy :)

Mini-Adventures #1 and #2

 

A concept I coined when referring to the undeniable delights of The Range, and although it was partly dismissed by Wil in an interview in Cheque's authentic down-to-earth magnum opus THE SEASIDE , I stand by both the existence and inherent quality of the concept. 

It's basically sea-cliffs (usually, although not always) with lovely settings, gentle approaches, amenable access, mostly single pitch, and nothing epic surrounding the routes - but routes that whilst shorter, have a good feeling of adventure and commitment once on them, with intriguing lines up strong architecture, interesting rock, exciting terrain, and a feeling of being away from the conventional big ticks. The essence of hidden gems in fact.

And of course I bloody love it. Who wouldn't?? Even when my trad confidence hasn't been great in recent years, I've still managed to potter on with this sort of exploration, and it has nourished my soul when my mind is injured and my body is weak (or is it the other way around??). 2018 it was stuff like Lovely Day Mr Thomas at The Range and Dr Livingstone I Exhume at Trearddur Bay, 2019 it was more Range in the form of The Blue Buoy and Surfant, and also Jacuzzi Dive on the Lleyn, 2020 it was essential knee and elbow therapy on the bonkers Emmenthal Wall at the Range. 

2021 I'm starting a bit early - partly to get some cool stuff "out of the way" (an incongruous phrase for something that is so inherently pleasurable in the moment) before the South Stack and Lleyn bird-bans are off in August and grander adventures are opened up (the magnificent Rapture Of The Deep and Mantrap being highlights of previous years). And partly because I'm psyched for such pure fun. So far it's been....

#1 - Trwyn Maen Melyn:

Yes, that crag. A firm favourite to the extent I'm likely to tick the crag apart from the E7. Still the most bewilderingly semi-solid rock around too. 

I kicked things off with an amnesia-point retro-flash of The Incredible Surplus Head, which I'd kicked things off 14 years ago i.e. kicked a small block off and then panicked and slumped onto gear and failed (also worth noting it finishes slightly left of the line in my updated topo). It's well past my 10 year moratorium, so I went back with the lone bit of vague recollection that a red camalot was useful somewhere. Thus I saved my red camalot right until the final alarmingly steep section where it rattled around in a perfect yellow camalot slot like your pencil-dick rattles around in a whore's gapehole, but somehow I still hauled myself over the lip.

Then it was on to the main event....

Queer Bar! The first time I've visited one to be honest, and it lived up to my "greasy dark hole" desires... I'd tried this in 2016 with good dry conditions but without a crucial giant cam, and again in 2019 with a good giant cam but without crucial dry conditions. This time I had both and it was brilliant. Proper improvised squirming towards the light and rebirth - when I reached the lip I was cackling to myself as it was just such ridiculous fun. 

#2 - Porthllechog & Trwyn Wylfa:

Some even more quintessential mini-adventures here...

Faller At The First - there was very nearly a faller (me) at the first route which was done as a warm-up as it was in the sun on a fresh blustery day, and turned out to pack quite a punch for a 12m route. Steep, sustained, and really very good.

Cerys / Porpoise Delight - a disputed first ascent claim, but I'll take the slightly higher grade and star rating of the latter, as this has quite a sketchy start, sustained interest, and a perfectly photogenic position that belies it's "small crag" impressions - anything that traverses a sea-cave always makes the list. By pure chance we went down to this wall slightly frustrated about the lack of mobile signal to check the updates on the Dump , and there was an older team at the crag that turned out to be one of the recent developers of the crag and knew it all off by heart (well, apart from the previous claim on this line, maybe). A stroke of luck.

The next day involved backing off a Pat Littlejohn MXS 5b at Trwyn Wylfa (which was described as needing a "gentle touch"). I couldn't even commit to the first 5a pitch and upon abbing for gear I'm glad I didn't as the ""5b"" pitches looked too much.....it's good to know when to back off. So this was the consolation prize...

Stranger On The Shore, a real gem on mostly properly weathered solid black rock. This had delightful climbing with a daunting central groove that seemed slopey and holdless until gentle udging revealed all it's amenable joys (jugs). 

Hopefully I will be updating with parts #3, #4, #5 etc etc sooner rather than later!!

Glimmers Of Hope

God knows it's been a very long time. The last time I felt I had a decent level of trad climbing confidence was in Autumn 2018, after a spring of digestive illness and depression and a summer crawling out of that via logistically-manageable but strength-maintaining sport climbing. I did pretty well back then and was very happy doing so. Since then....the diminishing but constant effects of my digestion, covid blanket-lockdowns-irrespective-of-risk, and injury ups and downs have held me back too much for comfort.

(Incidentally I estimate that my digestive issues have reduced my overall trad ability by a full grade - due to the increased depression/vulnerability and reduced energy that comes from those issues - but not affected my sport nor bouldering ability as short sharp bursts of non-emotionally-stressful activity are fine. Conversely, I expect my DVTs dropped my bouldering / sport ability by a grade due to the 10+kg weight gain due to difficulty with CV exercise, but did not affect my trad ability (walk-ins aside) as the power-to-weight reduction is less of an issue for easier trad moves (and there's little emotional component to the DVTs apart from occasional rage/grumps))

Anyway I've been doing exactly the same plan as I did last summer to get me right up to peak fitness (just before fucking my MCL and elbow and having a mediocre Autumn 2020) - doing plenty of sport climbing to regain fitness, strength, and roped confidence. Redpointing is training for sport onsighting is training for trad limestone is training for sea-cliff limestone... And it seems to be working a bit.

I had a trip down to Devon and despite trying to find trad partners being akin to trying to find a very small needle in a giant Shire-sized haystack, I managed to have one good trad day out and did my first challenging / satisfying trad lead for ages, Clotted Cream at Meadfoot Quarry:

This was with Madeline who had a lovely old boi dog, so have a picture of him too:

So CC intimidated me quite a bit despite being it being quite appealing and myself being quite well warmed-up. Thus I chose a mantra "7a....7a....7a" on the basis that it was well-protected, sport-ish style climbing, and having flashed multiple 7as in the previous month, surely that should be okay. Obviously as any pedant kno, it's nowhere near F7a, more like F6c, but the former was the level of effort I expected to put in. And it worked - cranking through the pump on the headwall above bomber cams felt scarcely different to doing so above bolts. A real morale boost, even if I left Devon with far more wishlist routes than ticklist routes.

(Incidentally the large block on the arete / niche, which features Pete Saunders merrily and needlessly swinging around on it in the guidebook, has parted company with the crag, despite how solid it felt when I was relaxing on it. It will leave less gear and holds but also a large niche that will also be in the VS slabby arete - I'm glad I got on it when I did!)

...

Then a bit later and by a bit of random chance, it was Holocaust at Dow Crag - a totally standard trade route. But for me, whilst it's not the most challenging route I've done since DVTs (not even top 30), nor the most challenging walk-in (Neckband just pips it) it IS the most challenging route I've done after a challenging walk-in (1.5 hours for a 1 hour walk-in, including 3 rests on the normal track and 4 rests on the death-scree - a long time to get intimidated and tired and not want to have to come back). Also possibly the most challenging routes since I moved to Manchester.

With the intimidation of the approach, this was a great reminder to myself that the potential is still there, that I can do okay even on one of my more logistically taxing inspirations, that I can and should take some positivity from this. And that if I ever drag myself up there again some other fucker can carry the rope.

As for the route itself - which I've wanted to do for 14 years, ever since doing it's adjacent and entirely contrasting sibling Tumble (are there any other routes of the same grade, on the same wall, so close to each other, with such different styles??) - it's a bit of a strange one. I did it, and I did it well tbh, but it still felt like a fair bit of luck getting the crux, which is slightly dissatisfying?? But I guess that's the entire nature of the route, and something so dynamically cruxy, and something at my limit. There have been enough times where the luck hasn't gone my way on such moves and this time it did. Also, pro-tip: the entire route can be well-protected with a half dozen small blue camalots (and a couple of wires for the belay). True story and it would save a lot of weight on the walk!

So that's a couple of happy scenarios I can hopefully build on...

New things.

Another somewhat delayed posts about autumn/winter/spring escapades....

When you're forced to COMPLY and OBEY and stick to local exercise for local people....well it turns out you can unearth (sometimes literally) all sorts of stuff. Sometimes that stuff involves rock and sometimes ascending that rock is quite pleasurable too and might even be so for other people....

BLOCS:

Maeshafn Quarry 

Sailing The Seven Chodes 6C-ish * 

At the right end of the Main Wall is a rainproof alcove with a shrub cornice and a semi-eliminate line with good moves up the steep left wall. Start sitting on a crimp and undercling and power upwards to finish at obvious good sloping shelf. The crack itself is out. (Fiend 28.04.21)

Cracken Edge (Over The Moors BMC guide).

Tentacles V4/5-ish *

The nice highball wall in a hollow just left of the main routes section. Sit start on an good diagonal hold, climb directly via small crimps and a long move to a jug rail, escape easily right. The jug rail can get some dirt from above, easily flicked off with a brush stick from the right. Well cleaned via abseil so no idea about the grade, the star is conservative.

Edit: Confirmed as "the best V4 slab at Cracken Edge" by Mark20....

Small Prow V3-ish

100m right of the main routes bit, the obvious small prow. Sit start on an good diagonal hold and clamp up to the break, carefully avoiding the block to the right.

(Fiend ??.04.21)

ROUTES:

John Henry Quarry:

Pirate Error E3 5c *

The cleaned line right of Cragster (actually where the topo shows Cragster finishing). Start at a weakness several metres right of Cragster. Climb the lower wall to a sloping break and traverse left to gain the "staircase". From the top of this continue up the thin crack past an obtuse crux to gain blocky holds, and keep motoring up to finish. Lots of medium cams.

Cracken Edge:

Summon The Cracken E3 5c *

The obvious steep line right of Cratos, via a thin crack through the bulge. Climb directly into the hanging corner and make powerful moves out past crimps, a sloping jam, and a crucial cam. Keep cranking up the photogenic headwall to finish.

Broadbottom Quarry:

Broadside E3 5c *

The steep sidewall adjacent to Elder Wall. Climb Elderberry Crack for 5m to some gear slots. Swing right and up to gain a high handledge, then make excellent moves up the thin crack via a sharp jam and small cams to gain the break. Keep pushing past the hourglass cracks to pop out onto the ledge out right. Either lower off the sapling, continue up the slab to an excavated mantel and scramble to trees, or escape on a pre-placed ab rope. Lots of small cams.

(All: Fiend, Coel Hellier, April 2021. All abseil cleaned / inspected)

Catching up on more bouldering.

Part 2...

Lancashire - Shady Bits

Perfect places to escape the summer heat and still get your quarried crimping fix.

Resurgence 7A+ (7A?)

One of my favourite problems! The moment when I fully weight the right hand jug at the crux and everything else comes off....I loved it. Good climbing all the way, and whilst the standing start adds some nice moves, it doesn't tire you out enough to add to the difficulty of the crux section (unless your skin was really pureed for the crimps). The natural sitter tho....I can believe that adds two grades.

Brian Jacques 7A

A very red bit of crag! Not easy to find in condition but worth it, and it's a nice stroll. This cool problem didn't take long, but then I completely failed to do Hawkeye 6C (maybe skin and/or conditions were deteriorating...).

Cordless Power 7A

Somehow, counter-intuitively squeezed in on a day when the whole of Northern England was raked with gales and storms, even nearby Longridge was freezing and seeping. Well Cardwell was just freezing and I managed to do this eventually, only after discovering the unauthorised beta. A good problem in a lonely setting but the outgoing view is nice.

The Pursuit Of Slappiness 7A

Almost a king line if it wasn't for that pesky crack at the start, but the rules make sense and it climbs really well. Plus with the extended finish it has plenty of excitement at the top - it got my cold black heart racing a bit.

Mirth Of Ducks 7A (6C)

Reunion Wilderness's perfect shadier twin - similar difficulty, just as good a line, more balanced climbing, and less scary overall. And again the top is a good spot to sit and take it all in...

Troy A Little Tenderness SS 7A (6C+?)

More semi-eliminates with good moves (and different potential sequences). I thoroughly scrubbed the lower bit of this and smoothed out the landing so it would go from a natural sitter, although it doesn't add any difficulty. Although the climbing is fun, the quality of the goose honking is better.

Two For One 7A

More hidden gems. I got psyched seeing pictures of the Lancs Rock Revival crew on this and it lived up to the promise, not too hard but the teetering around took a bit of working out.

Grinshill - Bouldering Gems

A selection of bouldering (not soloing!) gems from around the Grinshill woodland. Somewhere pretty different to explore and while some of the rock needs a gentle touch the variety and lines are really good.

Utopia 6C+

...Or 7A if you don't tape around your finger joint for the "awesome" (i.e. brutal!) crux pinch. Very cool board style problem, steeper than it looks but with a leaf pile bouncy castle beneath you.

Third Brother 7A

And now for something completely different... Unusual and very cool climbing with a cheeky head-smear during the crux, couldn't quite believe it worked. (The arete to the right is Terminator / L'Angle Shropfait, just a bit too hard for me)

Eliminator 6C

The slightly easier version using the footledge out left, 6C+ without this. A tricky and burly bugger that took me quite a few goes. Ticking the trio of up lines on this block (go in a dry spell with a breeze) in a day would be delightful.

Ice Cream SS 6C

A "prince line" with great climbing despite the lack of top-out (which could be excavated if you need to add on a MVS mantel). Enough holds to be steady but enough trickiness to be nicely knacky. 

A Shropshire Mon 7A+

Climbed with The Nesscliffe Monster heckling and providing good chat and local knowledge! A serious single session siege that boiled down to a crucial kneebar that only just stayed in on the successful go. Burly but just the right amount of features to be pleasingly positional too.

Doug's Face 6C+ (6C)

A minor problem but a fun battle to stay attached first go.

Lancashire - Suntraps

Sunny places to get your quarried grit fix if it's a bit cold.

Rusty Wall 6C+ (7A strict?)

One of the highlights of my recent-ish bouldering! A really satisfying and technically intense highball with a top-out that was unfeasible until I spent two hours in the pissing sleet re-excavating it (which also works for the classic Colt 7C). It still took a couple of sessions, and I think is purer this way rather than using the edge of the left crack at the top.

Lifeline 6C

Another technical delight albeit a much more amenable one, a little gem. Done after an aborted visit to a bitterly cold wind-swept Wilton, whilst this had enough winter sun to feel gentle.

Boopers 6B

Talking about sun I tried this in late spring after the first 2020 lockdown, and it felt hard. So I went back in a snowstorm and it still felt hard! Definitely a good problem.

Crimping Cows 6C?

Not listed in the book, this is what I made of r-man's Leaping Cows dyno except using the holds instead ;). Seemed to work pretty well.

Alison's Route SS 7A

Climbed just after Haydn's deluded "Calling Of The Lime" in 2021 (and whilst it was snowing in the Peak). Despite Ousel's being a suntrap and lacking breeze that day, it was really crisp and nippy and these problems felt good despite being tough on the fingers. Classic base-of-crag quarried grit.

Zendik 7A

As above but I needed to put a beanie on! This was quite cool for a "diagonal line in the middle of nowhere" and took a bit of working out for the finish.

Phat Haendel 6B

Scenic and lovely to be out in the snow! 

Reunion Wilderness RH Eliminate  6C (6C(!))

Quite exciting and committing - the crux feels like you could spin off and end up somewhere in that lovely background scenery. Okay, yeah, it's an eliminate, but it's only one rule and everything else is cool about it. And you thought Lancashire was all grotty lowballs in dingy quarries....

Cheshire Life - Exploratory sandstone bouldering

A tour around some diverse and exciting areas. Time to stray away from the chalk and queues at Pisa Wall!

Cheshire Life V5 (V6?)

I didn't know Cheshire life was actually that burly, I thought it was all daintily desperate like Pex and Harmer's, but apparently thugging through roofs is a valid lifestyle choice. I found this pretty tough and comparable to Colton's Crack. 

Knit One V5 (V3/4?)

A bit of light relief but worth it as it's a nice line. I cleaned and trimmed the top but it was still a bit goey on my own, it would be fine with a spotter.

Self Harmer V6

Bloody brilliant. While waiting for ATDI to come into the shade, I thoroughly cleaned this unjustly neglected problem off, and did it soon after, and it was my favourite experience at Harmer's - the mega-rockover from a 1½ finger 1/3 pad edge to a thumbsprag, teetering around in the middle, and then I couldn't find any smear in the right place for the final move, so......

At The Drive In V6 

I was seduced by the prospect of two actual good holds (!), and this became quite an obsession for me (after cleaning it and waiting ages for the seepage to stop), although a fair amount of that obsession was giving up on the RH-slot, LF-pocket rockover and fixating on a desperately reachy way around it on smears that was a sub-5% move for me. Then I found a different method for the authorised rockover beta and it was okay on the 4th session....

Queen Of Hearts V4 (V5?)

More Harmer's magic. I've often gone here hoping to rattle off a few vertical testpieces, then 2+ hours later when finally I've teetered up one, scarcely believing what I'm hanging on to, I'm more than satisfied with a lone problem. QOH is much harder than Yate's Layway and has a tiny diagonal pinch at the crux and a lovely juggy mono to signify it's all going to be okay.

Colton's Crack V6

Frodsham fun! This has got all the monkeying around you'd expect from the crag, except you do have to pull on a minging small crimp mid-way through it. When I topped out a lady's dog was standing right on the edge sniffing at me bemusedly :).

Suffering Slab 6C+

No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering. Another neglected climb I brushed up well, in fact the whole wall is neglected and and deserves more attention. Apparently this problem has Rules, I didn't really know what Rules I should be obeying and TBH have had quite enough of fucking Rules over 2020/21, so I just climbed what felt right at this standard and it felt natural and was an ace problem too.

Heath Ledger Direct V5?

Another one where I wasn't sure about sides of the arete and chips and stuff, but hell it's a good line and good fun so there you go.

Lancashire - Wiltons

World class routes....but I'd never properly sampled the bouldering until recent years. And there's some really good stuff, especially if you explore around...

Ell's Arete 6C

Definitely world class, as good as anything on grit (Technical Master?? Pffft, what's that??). 3 hours cleaning and top-out excavation in the minging weather, 3 minutes light brushing the now-pristine rock in a cold dry spell, it should hopefully stay clean for a while especially if people actually go and do it instead of fucking around on chalk-caked shite like The Move or whatever.

Children Of Arachne 7A (6C/+?)

A cool "tight line" problem. It felt easy in perfect conditions but given it's all positive crimps I doubt it's that conditions-reliant. I really liked the crossed-double-gaston move to hold my balance!

Flywalk Slab 7A (6C?)

A nice steady problem on nice crimps. TBH the much harder and higher Jim's Slab 7A+ rocking up left from the slot is the true inspiring line here, but too hard and high for me!

Snakey B 6C+ (6B+/C)

Another nice steady problem, the sitter adds no difficulty but is a nice start. I slipped off the final jug on a flash go, oh well.

Purple Haze 7A (6C/+?)

A lovely attractive one move wonder. I first did this on a sunny, if breezy, June day when I was out of practise post-lockdown1, and found it no harder than Gameplay (which I tried and didn't manage on the same day), but it might be a bit knacky... 

Camille Claudel 6B (6A?)

Brilliant! Lovely slab climbing with a committing feel, it's all in the feet. Would be 4+ in Font. 

Gameplay 6A (6B+/C?)

A bit of a hidden gem I think?? Doesn't get much attention and I never saw chalk on it. But it's great, committing, varied, slopey and thoughtful - totally understarred and undergraded (much better and harder than Snakey B for example).

Common Knowledge 6C 

Another problem that doesn't see as much attention as it should maybe?? Just proper quality climbing.

JR's Soft Shoe Shuffle 7A

After an autumn of injury and an early winter struggling to get back into things, this was the problem that roused me from a stupor of easy mileage (and it's quite good for golfer's elbow as there's nothing you can pull hard on!). I got really psyched by the pure thin slabness of it all, and it took a couple of visits including this bitterly cold one - satisfying!

....I think that's it for now, for dedicated bouldering videos at least. Next time I might include more moaning or something.