fiendblog

Training and mileage.

2012-01-31T10:54:00.000-08:00

^^^ This track is included solely because it is awesome and sometimes the path to awesomeness has to be paved with training.

The gayflu abated enough for me to go back down to TCA. I was hoping to finish off a couple of comp wall problems before they get reset this weekend. But after warming up (always so tedious in a cold wall!) and giving it a go I was just feeling weak and tired. Hmmmm. But didn't I just have a good week's mileage and then a nice rest weekend?? Oh, no, wait, was it fuck a rest weekend. An ill weekend and a recovering weekend. So I sacked it off and did almost all the new reds before they tweak them to make an easier circuit. I haven't actually had a hard training session for a few weeks, I definitely want to get back on that style of training, but I have to easy myself back into it via mileage.

One good thing though: I have had a lot of bollox training sessions because of how screwy my body (and sometimes mind!) is, and it's often been fairly demoralising with only brief glimpses of progression. But this last trip did reassure me that despite all the bollox and demoralisation, the training does seem to be doing something - slowly clawing my way back towards a previous physical level, or at the very least halting the decline! And at the end of the day, that's what matters - the training is for SOMETHING, awesome experiences on the rock, so if I feel I'm touching on that then I'm inclined to battle through.

On a related subject of fitness and progress and the ups and downs of the physical side of climbing, I was chatting to Alan C down at TCA after reading about his struggles in the last year, and in terms of fitness he highlighted the difference between training days / bouldering days, and full days out on rock and on routes. This is something I've noticed - full days out with lots of routes, even if they are not very hard, is simply better EXERCISE than training sessions or bouldering. So far, so obvious. But in terms of bouldering days - a sensible choice in winter - I have been avoiding mileage in favour of projects. Projects are rewarding and train some areas of climbing, but skin and muscle tends to give way before energy and fitness does. Thus not good exercise! So I think it will be a good idea to mix it up and be flexible in my bouldering trips - if a project isn't going well that day, just getting plenty of mileage in will do me good overall. The same with the wall too...

Gibbage summary.

2012-01-29T08:39:00.000-08:00

Still got the gayflu. It's normal OMG-I'm-going-to-die-this-is-so-epicly-gay manflu. So if I survive it should be over soon. I wanted to go training today but it's enforced rest time so a good time to reflect on the purpose of training i.e. cool little (or preferably a lot bigger!) trips away like the recent one.

Okay, San Bartolo. Not a major destination but what it lacks in sport climbing spectacularness, it makes up for in nice sandstone rock and good varied routes especially in the lower & middle grades - it lived up to people describing it suchlike, and worked nicely for us. Well worth a look for a long weekend or short week. Fly into Malaga, stop off at Mijas, stay in Tarifa or Algeciras, get the guide from the wee shop in Tarifa, errr that's it really. Ask if you want more info.

My climbing....went better than expected this trip! Quite a nice surprise, given how the odds have been stacked against me, and my bare minimum of training was two sessions at Ratho - although since the sandstone is more technical / powerful than sustained, I guess the TCA sessions have helped. I hoped, as always, for a good trip tackling some good challenges, but also prepared myself for inescapable punterism and was happily resigned to lots of nice mileage climbs as easing towards the routes season, if it had to come to that. But it didn't really. I got some nice mileage, but also tackled some good challenges, and most of the puntering was a cautious necessity to let skin and muscles recover to avoid spoiling those challenges.

Things that went well or I did well:
+ Good tactics with warming up / climbing / resting / skin care.
+ Strength seems fine.
+ Technique and route reading okay, probably from T'County trips.
+ Stamina better than expected, shows potential.
+ Fairly confident committing to moves with bolt near.
+ Aches and niggles (fingers and elbows) felt a lot better after more climbing in the sun!

Things that sucked or I need to improve:
- Still fat, will be a hard fucking battle to improve.
- Legs still fucked, will be a hard/impossible fucking battle to improve.
- Big coward above bolts, need to work on falling practise soon.
- Not enough foot power through small footholds, need to focus on that.
- A bit casual with a couple of harder climbs, need to be more focused.

Overall I think I am the right track and have potential to climb at least decently this year....I just have to keep climbing, keep active, and keep training.

Gibbage 6.

2012-01-26T10:00:00.001-08:00

The final day in a tidying up loose ends and finishing stuff off sort of way. The forecast was for cloud, it was glorious again, despite storm clouds over the hills providing a scenic backdrop. I still felt like utter shit with my gayflu. Bored of that. But there was plenty to get on with. We "warmed up" sliding off heinous micro-slabs: F6c and F7b that were more like that in British tech grades. The rock was cool but the sun was warm and needless to say our toll in skin and rubber was not repaid.

Thence it was on to the shady side, requiring a retreat and re-stomp to the opposite sector of the hillside. I'm noticing that after several days doing short uphill walk-ins and plenty of other exercise, my legs are still completely and utterly fucked and as usual I feel no progress in fitness at all. Cocktwats. Anyway the shady sector was shady although kinda sweaty. Managed a couple of routes including a pretty challenging one. Finally it was over to a different sandstone crag, El Bujeo, for a breezy and scenic evening, and a few more good and varied routes and a slightly frustrating "slip-off-the-first" move attempt of a stiffer proposition. A pretty good day despite feeling rougher than an East End Glaswegian's face.

This brings things to 34 routes I think. Not bad for a short week :). Plenty of fun on the sandstone, a few good challenges tackled (better than I thought!) and a few near misses to learn from. Tomorrow we fly back to dismal Scotland where I plan to hibernate for a while...

Africa in the morning.

Horses in the afternoon.

Gibraltar in the evening.

Gibbage 5.

2012-01-25T12:36:00.000-08:00

Aka the day that was forecast for cloud and was glorious sunshine instead. But first, what the fuck is up with me: I come away to get some good climbing action and escape the endless sodden damp of Glasgow and the persist rundownness I've been feeling this winter. So I'm out here - plenty of activity, plenty of rest, loads of fresh air each day (sea air no less), loads of sleep each night, lots of mandarins and pears (when I can stop Tris feeding them to horses). And what do I get?? A mouthful of ulcers, glands like a second bawbag, and now a proper sodding cold!! What the fucking fuck?? IT MAKE NO SENSE!!

Anyway I can't complain too much because today rocked: We headed back to mmmMosaico to enjoy plenty of cooling shade from the forecast clouds, of which there was none. So it was climbing in the (minor) heat before lunch on some rather good routes, and climbing in the dusk after a somewhat snotty siesta on some just as good routes, and then climbing in the dark on some cool wee slabs that rounded things off nicely. The highlight of the day was my hardest route of the trip when I sent Senda Del Tiempo on the main Mosaico wall. This took all the tactics and waning stamina I had, and was satisfying partly due to the challenge and getting in the zone where I really had to deal with it, but mostly because it was an objectively great route: sustained, consistent, well-balanced, some respite that the most improbable points, and a delicate finish. Which was nice ;).

A slight misnomer today - for a change!
I tried to clean this bossly beetle, but he just squeaked furiously at me.
Guess who is having their rump firmly scratched...

Gibbage 4.

2012-01-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Today was a semi-rest day. Rest day = bollox day. Well this one was. Just how it went really. Drove back to San Bartolo to collect my missing downie (doh!). Then back in the opposite direction, initially the plan was to burn up the peage back to Mijas for a small bit of convenience ticking on limestone pockets whilst letting the fingertips relax a bit. But we decided to explore inland....to just explore. A bit of mountain scenery, a bit of sunshine, a bit of limestone. A fucking LOT of endless hairpin mountain roads, the real thrill coming when the petrol light came on with 30km to go till the next town and the hairpins kept going on and on. By a combination of pootling uphill in 5th and freewheeling round blind bends, we made it to the crag and collapsed into much needed lunch.

A few routes were a suitable agenda for the evening, but by the time I warmed up badly and mooched around, I managed to fail on my main desired route of the day. Sure bad bolting was the main issue but even without that I was struggling a bit. Okay it's supposed to be a rest day but even rest days can still have climbing radness, whether it's easy adventures or diverse exploration or just a couple of tricky routes in a generally chilled out day. The 5 hours of driving was anything but chilled out though, so tomorrow it's less miles and more Mosaico ;).

Load of cock.

Tris gave this horse a pear, and it gave us an enthusiastic blast of pear breath after it had chorfled it down.

Gibbage 3.

2012-01-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty cool. We got hold of the local guide and went back to San Bartolo to climb on the shady side. Naturally it stayed cloudy all day. The shady side is infinitely less popular than Sector Mosaico and the nearby Sector 2-Bolt Bumblebollox, but probably better overall - more variety of rock and climbing styles and plentiful interesting routes, albeit lacking the showcase funk of Mosaico itself. We explored around and both got a fair bit done throughout the sectors, this time to the sound of chainsaws not cowbells. As much as I like extreme noise I think I prefer the cowbells as a climbing soundtrack.

My fingers were a getting a bit tender from the sandstone but I had some inspirations to follow so warmed up steadily on nice easy routes, and eventually, after a "Power Manchego" lunch, got to tackle my main goal for the day, this pretty cool bouldery wee route. I hadn't watched the video, just skipped to see if the wall looked decent, so it was a nice flash with a clearly defined sequence (pretty different to the video of course, not least because a flake has come off before the span rightwards, leaving a harder and cooler sideways drop move). I enjoyed that and still had enough beans to tackle a couple more uphill routes, before being tired enough to fall off easy slabs to finish ;)

Tomorrow might be back on the lime to give our fingertips a rest. It's all good.

An exceptionally fine braided curler.

A local wench trying to seduce us en-route back to our car.

Gibbage 1 & 2.

2012-01-22T12:44:00.000-08:00

Gibbage because we are climbing near Gibraltar. Not on Gibraltar, it's full of monkeys and probably tourists too. According to the woman in the hostel we're staying in, we should be tourists too, day-tripping to Morocco, visiting quaint towns in the mountai......FUCK THAT SHIT WE'RE HERE TO CLIMB.

Yesterday was travelling day. Up at 5 to get an early flight to Malaga. Really that should have demanded an early night but I stayed up playing Skyrim (level 64 h2h/magic Orc, 530,000 gold, 186 dungeons cleared, I hope no-one cares about that) and then faffing around printing out info for crags near Malaga to get something done before heading to Algeciras base camp in the evening. The latter turned out to be useful as Mijas was an idea stop-off: 10 mins off the motorway, roadside cragging, sun and shade and a good variety of the usual Euro-lime bollox. 5 leads each certainly made good use of the afternoon. However the lack of sleep and food hit me like a ton of turd and I ended up feeling exhausted to the point of feverish. Add in an extra 1 hour 20 minute nightmare just trying to find the hostel, and epic faffage with parking and organisation and I was so relieved to pass out into sleep.

That sleep worked and I was ressurrected this morning feeling pretty perky. So it was on with the main mission, exploring the sandstone crags of San Bartolo, starting with the distinctly funky Sector Mosaico - a clean sheer wall of prehistoric scales that looks desperate but has several amenable lines starting at F6a+. We started on a F6a+ and it rocked, lovely juggy edgy sandstone. And thusly I continued to lead 6 routes in total, nothing hugely challenging yet (just getting warmed up ;)), via some fun dog action, a nice chorizo sandwich, a surprising power-nap, and enough sun (and maybe sunburn) to recharge the solar cells nicely. Tonight I do NOT feel like death, but the bed is still oh-so-appealing ;)

A fun dog.

An insolent oaf.

Random Bollox.

2012-01-20T02:55:00.000-08:00

Not much has been happening recently.

There was a brief period of great weather which I completely missed because I was busy with stuff. Suckage.

I had a good session at Ratho where I did okay despite not having done routes for ages - although I was demoralised that I'm now such a hideous bloater I struggled to fit into my indoor harness :(.

I had a good session at TCA where I polished off several good and mis-graded problems on the comp wall. Curiously my progress over the previous session was more due to technique rather than strength, but I found I was able to keep cranking over a long-ish session, which was nice :).

I then had most of a week off climbing and exercise. Terrible. I can't afford to do that AT ALL. Came back to a session at the revamped and average-but-considerably-less-terrible-than-before GCC, and was weak, tired, and cross. Gym the next day helped a bit. I HAVE to keep moving.

Thankfully there is some movement planned: On Saturday morning Tris and I are flying to Malaga to go climbing at San Bartolo, funky looking sandstone near Gibraltar. Not a major destination but it looks nice for a few days and I really need to get away!! I need inspiration, activity, climbing mileage, and hopefully some dry fucking weather!! So, yay.

Oh and I got a cool new breakage drum'n'bass CD recently:

Nice variety of chopped up beats on this. I wasn't so taken at first, but have been playing it a lot. Ruff!

Misanthrope Mission #5

2012-01-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

I keep trying to not go to Shaftoe. As good as it is for bouldering - I think the best pure bouldering in the County, Bowden being fragile and limited, and Kyloe lacking in a variety of lines and mostly popular because of it's rain shelter - I do want to keep exploring. But somehow I end up back there again. This time the forecast was wind and the plan was Rothley, as although it's mostly exposed, there are some more sheltered bits and the NW-facing crag would probably benefit from some fresh air. The weather from Glasgow improved all the way down until Otterburn whereupon it turned into horizontal sleet. Nice. Thankfully a bit further it seemed to be more intermittent, but a quick drive past Rothley (almost ending up off the road scoping the crag), confirmed it had copped most of that weather. So back to sunny Shaftoe...

I worked South to Central and in the grand tradition of things ticked an entire problem. Yes, a whole one, all by myself (well, it IS a Misanthrope Mission...). Well. A whole problem if you're following the true line of least resistance and natural starting holds, as per the video above. Apparently some people start it a move lower and climb into the good starting holds for a V6 eliminate, but balls to that. Of more interest is a left-hand finish climbing the arete, this looks rather appealing but without any details of difficulties, I didn't want to waste skin trying it, yet. Instead I stomped over to Central and wasted skin trying Smooth Wall again. This time I know all the numbers AND the conditions are suitable baltic, but a slight dampness on the upper holds and a general seizing up of my body in the arctic breeze has me snatching defeat from the jaws of truce. A quick look at Western Edges problems and it is far too cold even by my standards so the long drive home again, thank fuck for awesome drum and bass and metal CDs :).

Radical Changes.

2012-01-02T01:14:00.000-08:00

Or, radical reversion to what is right.

In the latter part of 2011 I realised my life has gone off track. See over to the left where it says "Aiming to live a lifestyle of climbing and travelling"?? A matter of necessity as well as inspiration - I think it's pretty good and harmonious that necessity and inspiration align. But I have partly been working indirectly to that path, partly tried to stick to it in difficult circumstances, and partly strayed from it. So I need to realign those straying parts to that path, for my own sanity as well as pleasure. To this aim, I have some Scottish plans...

1. Steadily up my levels of general activity and fitness training until they become habitual.

2. Keep in touch with partners and keep organised AND try to be part of an active positive scene, not just climbing but general fitness.

3. Get to somewhere interesting in late Jan (Morocco? Gibraltar?) and early April (Pfalz? Annot?).

4. Week long trip to Lewis, several days sea-cliffing in Skye, long weekend in Ardnamurchan.

5. Explore more bouldering over winter, esp: Glen Nevis, Torridon/Reiff, Skye, Carrock Fell, Queen's Crag, Shaftoe, Rothley, Simonside

6. Climb a few E5s and maybe a few F7a+s if I get my fitness back

7. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall.

8. Lose 1 stone via the above.

...and the same general climbing lifestyle guidelines as last year...

1. Keep in touch with climbing partners regularly, promptly, and positively.

2. Prioritise plans for the most inspiring areas with like-minded partners.

3. Plan more proactively but flexibly in advance rather and last minute.

4. Get started on days out earlier to make best use of time.

5. Keep fitness training and make it a regular habit.

6. Keep eating a decent diet with small portions, less junk, more water.

7. Train stamina, finger strength, finger power, dynamism and endurance at walls.

8. Falling practise, falling practise, falling practise, falling practise.

9. Work on route reading and gear placing outdoors.

10. Stack odds in my favour with suitable weather conditions.

...the main but slight change being focusing on habits and lifestyle as much as specific factors / plans. I have a path, I need to follow it.

Tunes of 2011.

2012-01-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

...available on good old physical media at your chosen outlet.

Origin - Evolution Of Extinction (Entity CD)

Track of the year from album of the year by metal band of the year - the epitomy of their precise, complex, well-crafted and utterly brutal style.

Cern, Dose, & Teknik - Huntsville (Commercial Suicide Compilation CD)

Drum and bass - music that keeps on giving....and keeps spreading in ever-more diverse areas. Sticking with straight up modern techstep, this track was a real eye-opener for it's unbelievably filthy sound. Less future funk and more steampunk funk.

Donny - Something Terrible (Riot & Revolt CD)

The harder side of DnB has diversified too with the hardcore/breakcore/idm/dnb crossover being increasingly fertile ground. It often gets too mashed up for me, but when the artists blend the toughness with a straight up dnb groove, you get properly good tracks like this one.

All Shall Perish - The Past Will Haunt Us Both (This Is Where It Ends CD)

A return to form for All Shall Perish and a beautiful death metal love ballad. Which vile twats say heavy music can't have any soul or emotion??

Gridlok - Enemies Of The State (Commercial Suicide Compilation CD)

I'm not the biggest fan of the choppy offbeat steppy style of DNB, not of Gridlok's overly-bleepy production. But sometimes two wrongs make an irrefutable right in this brilliant epic industrial dnb soundtrack.

Eye-D & DJ Hidden - Battlefield (Peer-2-Peer Pressure CD)

A great, refined and interesting CD by perhaps the foremost purveyors of the gabber/dnb crossover. They bring dnb influences into awesome hardcore tracks like Hell's Basement, and hardcore influences into this very well-named piece of headbanging dnb artillery.

Bonus!!
Fuck it, can't resist including one more...
Seba - It Ain't The Weather (Commercial Suicide Compilation CD)

As diverse and and as interesting as DNB gets, sometimes you just can't beat a straight up deep dark roller. And this is a great one from the usually mellow and choppy man Seba.

And!!
In case anyone was wondering, albums of the year 2011:
Ray Keith & Bladerunner - Dub Dread 4
Origin - Entity
Eye-D & DJ Hidden - Peer 2 Peer Pressure
All Shall Perish - This Is Where It Ends
DJ Asmatik - Homicide Voltaire
Dyprax & Unexist - Disorder In Italy
DJ Distance - Dubstep All Stars 8
Torsten Kanzler & Sven Wittekind - Basstech 1
Raiden - Beton Arme
Ill Skillz - Nectar And Ambrosia
+
Any DJ mix by S.P.Y.

Go forth and sate your ears' need for awesomeness!

Annus Demi-Horribilis.

2011-12-31T03:58:00.000-08:00

Or should that be Anus Demi-Horribilis??

This year has been a year of two halves for me:

Part 1:

Malta - great
Later winter bouldering at Ruthven Boulder, Loch Sloy, Clashfarquar etc - very nice and satisfying
Pedriza - great
Long weekend in Mull - superb, best Scottish trip all year
Long weekend in Gairloch - very good
Long weekends in Caithness and Stranraer - good
Sweden - super-awesome
Brief trip to Creag Dubh and Camel - good
Generally maintaining an enjoyable E3 standard every trip out - pleasing
Losing a few pounds in Sweden - reassuring

Part 2:

Terrible weather all summer - suckage
No trips to Lewis / Skye / Ardnamurchan / Glen Nevis - suckage
No Indian Summer respite - suckage
A couple of decent trips to Aberdeen and local crags - pretty good
2 weeks of dry weather in November - some respite for bouldering
Increasing weight gain - very demoralising
Decreasing fitness - very demoralising
TCA opening - great training and a useful mercy
Exploring the County bouldering - good
Hard work changing medication to reduce weight gain - just plain hard
Persistent man-flu / throat/chest infection - suckage

It's pretty simple:
Good weather and trips away = good health and good spirits = right.
Terrible weather and less climbing = bad health and bad spirits = wrong.

Incidentally, my other interests have been pretty fun this year - have painted some cool figures, listened to some great drum'n'bass / hardcore / metal, and played a lot of good PC games - all of which is nice and passes the time during the incessant rain / rest days, but as fun as all those things are, they play supporting roles, not the main performance.

I've realised that the regular climbing lifestyle is not just important to me as it's the biggest inspiration to me, it's essential to me as an active lifestyle that balances out my mental and physical health issues. I am who I am and that is what's right for me.

Festive fun.

2011-12-27T12:56:00.000-08:00

Balls to Christmas, but at least en-route South to meet with friends, family, and food, I got to briefly indulge in the fourth festive F - fun climbing. Northumberland was, as usual, the only dry place and the obvious choice. Bleak grey weather made everywhere much of a muchness, so I decided to explore esoteric Edlingham, a useful recce if nothing else. In the end I only recced the Homo Horizontalis and Whale buttresses, which was enough. The latter was dry but a bit "under-appreciated". I got to work with chalk dusting and gentle brushing and the holds started feeling good. Just as I got it clean enough, it started raining. Woo-fcuking-hoo. Homo Horizontalis turned into Homo Coweringus Shelteringus and luckily it passed. A quick romp up the Harpoon problem, a quick fiddle on the harder wall next to it, and that was enough.

The next day I visited my old haunt of the Climbing Works. It's getting very grubby but the atmosphere is good, the amount of problems is vast, they keep tweaking it and the comp wall structure is ever-fluctuating. I had a pretty good session there, which made Christmas sedentation more tolerable. I think the latter has outstayed it's welcome with me so I need to get back gymming/training/climbing ASAP.

Misanthrope Mission 4.

2011-12-19T03:23:00.001-08:00

35 days since I last got out. Yes the weather and my gayflu (still persisting, on 2nd course of antibiotics now) have been that bad. Jesus. This mission took some effort, I really didn't feel great trying to wake up early and get going for it. So it was a late start, a LOT of driving and a bare minimum of climbing. But still good - back in touch with the purpose of winter and my purpose in life.

The forecast was good all over the County, so after much East vs. West deliberation, I decided to take advantage of the dry West and give Queen's another go. It was very crisp and bone dry....and completely snowed under there. Hmmm. I'm not having much luck with Queens! Onwards to Shaftoe which has everything facing in every direction and that worked pretty well as the sunny stuff was warm and dry and the shady stuff was cold and frozen and when the sun went down there was stuff that was cold and dry yay for friction. Before that I pottered about and recced Shaftoe South and came to the following conclusions:

Cafe Noir - worth a lead! Good line and obvious gear in a flake.
Antler And Deck - looks good and quite feasible, need mats and spotter.
Butch Cassidy - ditto.
Little and Often - crude but okay but top was iced up.
Pocket Rocket - looks crude and bland and too hard.
The cave stuff - very trad looking, best for summer power training.
Duvel - too small.
12 6c - too small and wrong on topo (shown perched over 10m drop!)
Slim Shady SS - looks good, bigger than it seems and perfect landing.

After that faffing and not climbing much I ended up in the Central Area to try to maximise the conditions on some of the sloping walls. Buford T Justice (not Belford, oops), I very nearly flashed by sheer determination but muffed my foot on the last move. Boo. I then ended up working it with the camera battery in my pants to keep it warm. That helped as I did it in the end. Despite being an eliminate it's a cool problem with some miserly slopers! Moved onto Smooth Wall, after a few goes this seemed impossible - similarly poor slimpers but this time with a bulge in the way. But! Lo and behold I worked out a foot placement and suddenly it seemed very feasible - this was exciting. Unfortunately despite getting super-close, I had to keep waiting for my skin to cool down in between attempts, and while I had the patience for that, the daylight didn't and buggered off leaving me to walk out in the pitch dark. But not before I saw a mouse scuttle across the frozen marsh beneath the wall (presumably very cold) and an owl swooping around (possibly solved the mouses coldness permanently).

So yeah. Another day with an epicly b0rked driving:sending ratio, but cool to get out at last!!

Walking Corpse.

2011-12-05T04:34:00.000-08:00

^^^ this has been me in the last few days. The gayflu has been especially gay and seasoned with lashings of a mild throat infection (feeling a bit like the Brutal Truth vocalist sounds) for the optimum blend of crappness. I've turned down wall sessions and good forecasts in the County and have been set back a good week in general logistic progress, so I feel like a walking corpse mentally too, BLUURRRGGGGHHHHH. Hopefully I'm getting over the worst and will be able to get back into things with renewed energy soon.

Fight The Power

2011-11-30T04:32:00.000-08:00

I can't fight the power of the weather. As predicted it crapped out spectacularly. Glasgow escaped the worst of the storms but roadside floods are becoming the norm not the exception. Needless to say I've been reduced to training at the admittedly inspiring (if frustrating in my current state) Climbing Academy, and trying to find a balance between pushing myself to slow the decline into weakness, and not injuring myself trying to haul my corpulent carcass in an upwards - or sideways - direction.

I can't fight the power of the screwy chemicals fizzing around in my mind. I've been changing some medications to try to stop the incessant weight gain I've had in recent years (no, not the Glasgow diet, as nice a deep-fried pizza is I haven't had it for months), and the short term side-effects are harsh. Anger, agitation, anxiety are currently characterising my life and inhibiting many activities - and making me feel shit about that inhibition, woohoo, stupid brain! I did have some respite over the weekend, clearing my mind with some relentless hardcore beats in the Industrial Strength Records 20th Anniversary room at Fantazia at the Arches. Dancing to gabber is waaay more productive than trying to run / walk uphill, so evidentally I need to get clubbing more. Both Youtube vids are highlights of the night :).

I can't fight the power of the stupid fucking gayflu cold I've just picked up. Although I guess I might as well get it out of the way at the moment.

Hopefully when the gayflu fucks right off and chemicals settle and the training works enough to at least achieve an equilibrium of fatness and weakness, I'll be able to get on with following some inspiration and rad trips out and about won't just become...

Gentle Classics in Glen Croe

2011-11-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

Not much to say really. All easy stuff but nice problems. I did have a look at something harder but it was cold and made my fingers hurt. The rock was in good condition but the ground was boggy and I got trenchfoot.

Glen Again.

2011-11-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

Secret Squirrel came visiting. The weather was still good (ridiculous that the Indian Summer has happened in sodding November) and she was keen for some bouldering, so we went back to Glen Nevis Southside. Still loads to explore there. Apparently there is an out-of-print guide that covers hundreds of problems in the Glen, but once across the treacherous and mildly terrifying weir crossing, the only sign of any use, chalk, or cleaning is on the 3 generally inferior problems chosen at random in Scottish Bouldering. The others have often required a good scrub to get lichen off crucial holds, and even pulling the most obvious hold off one problem - but what is underneath has been invariably good rock and good climbing so far.

We also had a fun time at the end of the day: Battling up our respective last problems in the howling wind, sporadic drizzle, ominous dusk, with little skin nor energy left, surrounded by the bleak and ominous cloud-drenched mountains, and only the threatening prospect of a nighttime the river crossing to look forward to....but still great fun just climbing :).

Misanthrope Mission 3.

2011-11-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

More mockery - I spent the entire summer trying to get up to Glen Nevis to climb with a Canadian lass who was staying in Fort William and keen to sample the local cragging. After numerous Facebook exchanges, Metoffice scrutinising / swearing at, and last minute texts, it never happened. Come November, she's long gone, most tradding partners are winding down for the winter, seepage is creeping through, and it's getting a bit too chilly. So yeah the weather is good and dry for several days.

FUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUCCCKK!!!

Still, I made it up on the last dry day, and although frustrated by being able to see the mighty Wave Buttress but not climb on it, I did get some good bouldering exploration. The forecast was to be foggy, still, and cold air. It turned out to be clear, windy, and mild air. No worries about condensation and pretty good nick. I recced the Polldubh boulders while waiting for my Morrison's pseudo-redbull energy drink to kick in, and decided they were a bit brutal to start on...

Glen Nevis youth bouldering team in training.
Instead, I thought I'd just nip across the river to Tim's Arete for a warm-up and then head back via a packed lunch. 2 precarious weir crossings, 5 hours and numerous problem attempts later, I had no skin, no energy, no chalk and no camera batteries left - Glen Nevis Southside has a lot of potential both tapped and untapped on wild and rough rock. The clip below is just a sample, I'll be back when the above factors have recharged (and it's dry again so I've got a few months to regrow skin :S).

Coigach Clambering.

2011-11-07T03:52:00.000-08:00

So it is now November. The days are a lot shorter, climbing time is limited, the temperatures are cold and options restricted. I'm busier and my time is limited and I've given up on getting up North and getting more trad done. So what the fuck does the weather do?? Get totally awesome in the North West. A whole fucking summer waiting for half-decent half-dryness, and now it's pretty much past the point of pointless, there's several days of sunshine up there.

FUUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUCCCKK!!!

Still as mocking as this respite is, it is respite nonetheless and thus must be as vigorously seized as one would seize a passing cat who is hoping to sneak by without getting pounced on and having it's tummy mercilessly rubbed and nuzzled. Given the time of year it was mostly seized and sandwiched between bouldering pads. Just like the passing cat should be...

The pre-match friendly was at the Inchbae Erratics. These are indeed erratic but then again isn't most of Scottish bouldering. This area had the usual pre-requisites of absent approach times and a useless map, but also curiously accurate grades and definitely deserved star ratings. The erratics are scattered over an unerratically and consistently boggy plateau, and although spread out, the problems are really rather good - strong lines and good moves. It could do with more development and is a good stopping off point en-route to Ullapool.

Inchbae!
The main game took place firstly at Reiff In The Woods. It was supposed to be at Reiff By The Sea but this was hampered by that same sea leaving landing pools and a slight lingering damp. There were hardy souls climbing trad there, which was nice to see. RITW is a classy little spot - roadside but with stunning views, sheltered in trees yet exposed to sun and breeze, jumbled together but with plenty of strong lines. Indeed the lines were stronger than I was!! We made little headway on anything challenging until trying the cool "spot from sitting in the car" thin wall/arete. After a few goes we were both close and it was almost in the bag - and after a few goes the "unbroken sunshine" forecast pissed on us and it was almost dusk so no chance of it drying, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Rainbow. Unfortunately a main ingredient is rain.
Sunset prettiness on Stac Pollaidh.
Secondly for variety it was the well-reputed Highland sport venue of Goat Crag, one of the triptych of classic animal-themed Scottish sport climbing crags. I still think it would be great on a summer's day to catch the morning sun at The Elephant, shelter from the afternoon heat at The Camel, and finish basking in the evening at Goat Crag. Or maybe the other way around to catch the shade. Anyway, the weather was great at Goat Crag, utterly unlike my climbing. Not only am I fat and weak, after a mere few weeks away from roped climbing, I'm back to utter gaylordistic cowardom, arse bollox knob etc etc.

Even the bumbly warmups can be photogenic.
A much better view than looking inward to my climbing.

Misanthrope Mission #2

2011-10-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

Well it will save me thinking of yet more alliterative bloody titles. This time I went to T'Lakes and T'County in a round trip via the Once Brewed Youth Hostel (and the adjacent Once Brewed Pub which only served Twice Brewed Beer, WTF). Several hundred miles and several hours of driving and I got up.....one problem. Huh.

Gouther: Glorious weather on the day. Gouther was in the shade and rather dank, which precluded topping out on most problems. Not a problem for me as being shite and weak precluded getting anywhere near the top on most problems. I warmed up doing Trev's Traverse in a few goes, this is a weird problem which feels very trad. I then spent so long failing on other stuff I didn't get the chance to fail on the rad-looking J Mascis. But I've had a good recce and will be back. Team Buys were at the crag with Gav and Mike Hutton. They're a nice pair, very affable.

Queen's Crag: Dry and fresh on the walk-in, via lots of cows who were doing some very fine mooing. I like cows. Got to the crag. It started pissing down. I had a good recce. Eventually the rain abated enough for me to....walk out as there was no bloody chance of it drying. Still it looks cool. Lots of aretes and a few good faces. Syked to get back.

Hepburn: Dry and fresh on the walk-in. Wanted to check out the lesser-known problems and after some of the worst boulder/heather bashing ever, ended up at Queen Bee Buttress. Oooh there's a cool looking wall/rib above a good landing, starting from a nice mono....And the mono is FULL OF FUCKING BEES. Stomped over to Titanic Arete. I tried this before and couldn't do it. I tried it again and couldn't do it. I've fallen out with this problem. There was a team working hard stuff and a cool-looking project. I went over to watch and their cute wee terrier thing jumped on my lap and wouldn't leave. This was more fun than Titanic Arete so I sacked off that problem. And pretty soon sacked off the day entirely before I risked actually getting up a problem (not that big a risk really).

Sometimes on these trips there just seems to be far more rain and walking and bees and cows than actual climbing. This is a cow:

Yes Men.

2011-10-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

I went to the new Climbing Academy wall the other day. It is rather good: The size is epic and the layout, lighting and use of space are all great. The problems seemed good and nicely varied, the music when I was there was good (chilled techno and breakbeat - spot on), and the staff are friendly. I haven't tried the coffee but I have high hopes.

There is one downside though - some of the holds. Waaaay before the wall was finished, I commented on the TCA's Facebook page to please use awesome holds like Bleaustone, HRT and Axis, and not rubbish ones like Core and Holdz. I had no idea what they would put on, only that I wanted such an impressive wall to have nice feeling holds to train on. Well the wall is full of Core, Holdz, and Beacon. Core have improved a fair bit, they are not so over-designed and have some nice textures and slopers, so that's all good and I admit I was wrong to dismiss them. Beacon are fine normal holds. Holdz are as bad as ever. The general texture is abrasive and inferior to other holds, the knobbly features are pointless and less comfortable, and the grit-textured edges are really, really bad. These must be the worst holds I've pulled on:

Anyway. That's not so interesting. Some problems are spoilt by the Holdz, and it would be better if better holds were used. The rest of it is great and I will be training there a lot and be a good paying customer.

What is interesting is the Yes Men phenomenon that arises when a big exciting project appears in the climbing world and has public areas to promote their project and allow customers to comment on it. Praise is duly accepted but criticism often isn't - even when it's in the context of a lot of praise (praise which is tabloidly ignored in the reaction to the criticism). It's not just the project owners (who you expect to have reasonable answers or acceptance of criticism) but other people who seem to have elevated such projects to sacred cow status where those projects can do no wrong and have no flaws - and certainly not have anyone pointing out those flaws. There's a definite "gang" feel to some of the reactions - reactions not just to myself but to other people who have criticisms (such as student prices).

Really if the climbing was so close-knit and looking after it's own, it could do a lot more to be inclusive and welcoming of all climbers.

This reminds me exactly of when the Climbing Works opened, and once again I praised many areas of the wall whilst criticising some of the holds (the ridiculous embedded golf ball / light bulb holds) and how dirty/chalky the holds got. Once again the Yes Men dismissed the possibility that anyone could criticise anything about the wall. A while later the ridiculous holds disappeared and brushes on sticks and notices to clean holds appeared and a great wall became a bit greater because those previously-criticised-but-dismissed issues were improved...

Anyway, fingers crossed I'm off down to T'County again this weekend, and back training at TCA early next week.

Shaftoe Solitude.

2011-10-24T03:48:00.000-07:00

Scottish winter season has started - well I could see snow on the distant Lomond hills, and the chance of any reliable last minute trad reprieve is diminishing. So it's time to head down to the B&Q timber yard to construct the biggest possible bargepole that I won't be touching any snow plodding gully bashing bollox with.

So, yay, bouldering season. God bouldering is soooooo much easier than trad. Less time required, less organisation needed. Less stress, less mental challenge. Less seepage, less crag logistics. Okay so conditions are an issue, but getting good friction is scarcely more challenging than getting some sodding dryness. Less reliance on keen friendly partners who are a Scottish scarcity, too.

To demonstrate the latter, I nipped off down to Northumberland for the weekend. I'd rather be getting immersed in Scottish bouldering and have nipped to Glen Nevis but 5 days constant torrential rain (WTFingF) stopped that idea before it could fart out of my brain. So a misanthropic mission to T'County it was. The forecast was good and the bunkhouse is good and the choice of venues and problems is good.

Shaftoe is possibly the most extensive bouldering venue in T'County and somewhere I definitely needed to explore, so I combined a good meander around most of the main areas, with the occasional pause to do the occasional problem, the most fun being the hugely overgraded classic wee Slapper. There's plenty of good varied lines there with usually excellent landings in a good open situation - one for return visits, especially in colder conditions as it was rather balmy there.

The next day of course started with constant rain. Hurrah :(. After a bit of driving around to confirm the day's planned venues were definitely out, I ended up popping past Back Bowden on the off-chance the roofed over bits were dry. It was raining there too when I parked up but after disappearing for a stroll and a mighty log, I felt perkier and the breeze seemed promisingly fresh so I continued the stroll to the crag. Despite it's "unusually sheltered location" that same breeze was blowing a bloody gale and lo the rain stopped and I bouldered some more until my fingertips said "fuck this shit" and I left and drove home.

Video soon...

Something Terrible

2011-10-20T03:51:00.000-07:00

Obviously if you harm others, that is something terrible. I don't consciously harm others by my actions - despite plenty of desire and temptation (overtaking lane morons, I'm looking at you).

But I sometimes do terrible things. If you take away harming others, what else is there?? Harming yourself: through self-neglect, through self-inhibition, through wasting time and a finite life, through not being true to oneself, through not doing the right things to benefit oneself.

Not harm by direct action, but harm by a lack of action. A lack of positive, rewarding, satisfying, healthy, beneficial, true-to-self action.

I do this and thus I do something terrible. This is....part of my personality. A flaw in me, in an otherwise fairly smart, capable, and inspired being. It has always been this way and for many years I have been working on overcoming it - maybe in many years time I will overcome it!

Obviously this applies to climbing very much, as an inspired passion that involves action and training and input and effort. I'm posting this because it was brought home recently, after a couple of weeks of doing fuck all and feeling pretty unhappy with myself, I went to the wall and was fat and weak but at least I was doing something. Listening to that tasty track above on the drive home highlighted that at I wasn't doing something terrible that evening...

Bouldering.

2011-10-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

Although I am still syked to get as much trad as possible before it becomes too bitterly baltic (i.e. WET I suspect) this winter (still trying to play catch up over the missed summer that never happened), now the nights are drawing in I am getting my bouldering syke and thus plans and inspirations up. Hopefully the quick hit nature of bouldering, lack of reliance on partners or seepage drying up, and lack of midgies will allow some good varied days out. I want to start pushing myself earlier this winter, having done enough exploration last winter to get some good ideas (and thus a vague ticklist up). As usual my ideas are my own inspiration rather than "essential ticks", and remain to be edited, added to, or deleted as I explore around and play on stuff.

So to remind myself, wishlist as follows:

Pump Up The Jam, various - Skye
Razorback, Romancing The Stone, various - Reiff
Various - Reiff In The Woods
The Ship Boulder - Torridon
Blankety Blank - Torridon
Big Lebowski, The Dude - Ruthven Boulder
Brin Done Before - Brin Rock
Various - Cammachmore
Deep Breath Arete, Hamish, various - Glen Nevis
Pyramid Lip - Glen Ogle
??? - Loch Sloy
Swap Meet, Ace Of Spades, various - Glen Croe
The Bottler - Loch Lomond
Nameless Pimp Toy - Stronlachlar
The Chop - Weem
Various Corrie Boulders - Arran
Suck My Woolie, Snow White - Garheugh

Fingers crossed! Better get training eh....

Any I've forgotten post em in the comments....

Three things...

2011-10-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

...that say it all:

1.

2.

3. (An oldie but totally timeless)

DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING BOLLOX BRITISH FUCKING CUNT WEATHER
DARK MAVIS says:
FUCKING WET ALL NEXT CUNTING WEEK
DARK MAVIS says:
CCCCUUUUUNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Fiend says:
they should quote that on metcheck

Howlerhirst Heat, Simonside Shade.

2011-10-01T04:01:00.001-07:00

Another flying Northumberland visit, thanks to the Indian Autumn heatwave that ensures most of England is utterly glorious and all of West Scotland is utterly torrentially foul (obviously as I type this it is pissing down in Glasgow).

(Hot) Howlerhirst is relatively low altitude, rarely climbed on, and basks in the sun all day - yet the climbing conditions were pretty good. (Shady) Simonside is high up on the plateau, much more popular, very exposed and shady - yet the climbing conditions were pretty poor. It's a curious business.

Howlerhirst is the final main tick in my Northumberland apprenticeship. I've now been to pretty much every worthwhile and inspiring crag, big or small, honeypot or hermit-like. Like all the off-piste craglets in The County, it is really rather nice with some very worthwhile routes. The highlight being the stunningly sculpted buttress with the fearsome Guardian Angel on (and a superb, desperate, but frighteningly feasible last great problem: Think cranking up an impending wall on shallow pockets, hanging off fingertip monos placing tricams, and a wild dyno for a super-sloping top...mmmm). But the adjacent mid-grade slab has some really nice routes on it too, well worth a visit (see below)

Simonside is....well it's cool. I have now been to the two main crags on the Simonside Plateau (SS and Ravensheugh) each as many times as I've been to Kyloe Out and Back Bowden. How's that for dedication?? Obviously the quality of these crags repays multiple visits, and more obviously that quality would improve if they got the traffic they deserved, as it is a bit frustrating seeing some great lines suffering from neglect whilst the Kyloes and Bowdens suffer from narrow-minded overuse. This was the case for previous visits and this visit, but I cleaned off a couple of mid-grade routes for Ewan, and I led a couple of great little arete climbs (Gillette being scarcely bolder and infinitely better than the unjustifiably more popular The Stoic - myopic honeypotting even up here!!). I was defeated by Over The Edge, the desperate solo start being too much in the curious conditions.

Hmmmm actually....I think Ewan mentioned going to Harehope Canyon....ah well....:)

Photos (can't be fucked bypassing blogspot's shitty new slideshow crap, sorry). PLEASE POST COMMENTS ON WHICH OF THE FIRST FOUR IS MOST WORTHWHILE THX:

Bumbling at Bruin Cove with Birthday and BBQ Boy Brad.

2011-09-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

Enough Bs?? I hope so. So this last weekend was back up for Aberdeen Brad's highly successful Birthday Event ;). The forecast was good, not too many non-climbers were going, Brad was keen to climb both days, and not even the prospect of a mostly vegetarian barbeque could put me off.

As it was the BBQ provided me with the best tick of the weekend - an entire block of bbqed Halloumi. Nom nom nom but man did I have a raging thirst the whole drive home...

Other ticks were kept low-key with the emphasis on chilled days out rather than big challenges. Day 1 was Sickle Row, a nice sunny spot, I was knackered from a few night's bad sleep (including my cunning plan of preparing for the Rothley single day mission by staying up late playing Starcraft2 hurrrrr) so stuck to mid-grade mileage. Day 2 was Bruin Cove, a nice sunny spot, I was totally refreshed after a great night's sleep, but to avoid hampering the BBQ plans stuck to mid-grade mileage. Both nice fun days. I did miss a bit on getting on something a bit errrr stiffer (unlike Brad and Johannes later in the evening ;)), the sense of doubt and discovery and rising to the challenge and getting into a more focused headspace to deal with it. But that can wait until next time...

Rude awakening at Rothley.

2011-09-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Had another day down in The County the other week. Rothley is a fuck of a long way for a single day, especially when the 6 hour round trip involves a gripping emergency stop + swerve on the M8 (not my fault), a detour avoiding a 1 hour gridlock, the death of my MAF sensor yet-a-fucking-gain (and associated panic attack until I realised what the problem was), and finally some airtime (my fault) off a stealth hummock on the road by Rothley (in the grand tradition of Northumberland roads being very straight left/right, but a lot less straight up/down.

Anyway once at the crag I managed to calm down enough to do a bit of climbing. The plan had been to combine routes (which I was syked for) with bouldering (which B was syked for). In retrospect this turned out to be a very good plan as we got so trashed bouldering we left while it was still light, shocking. So mixing in some routes would have been a good use of the time and climbing / skin-loss balance. As it was it was too sodding windy to climb routes particularly on the more delicate fare that awaits once you've done the excellent Rothley Crack.

That same wind made it good conditions for bouldering, which was nice. A steady circuit was order of the day, suitable for the general levels of punteering involved and to get used to bouldering and the rock again. That rock being particularly harsh for Northumberland, more akin to a crozzly featured gritstone than the finger-caressing finer grain further North. So that was a bit of a shock to the system, as was feeling errr fat and weak. Why am I still surprised at that?? Well I wasn't really....more just inspired to get stronger, which is nice.

I am syked for the Climbing Academy Glasgow to open (bloody awful headache colours and bloody awful Core holds and all - it will still be great to have somewhere to get beasted bouldering on a whim). I am syked for more exploration over winter. But I am syked to push myself projecting problems sooner this year. Last year I explored lots of easy circuits earlier on, and didn't start crushing (snort!) until February. This time I'll have a bit more focus I think...

Northumberland Nibblings.

2011-09-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

In that meagre 2 day weather window I mentioned before, I got down to Northumberland to do a bit more exploring. Day 1 was still blowing a gale so it was suitable to explore somewhere in the woods. No, not Kyloe although that is very good for routes and I've done some really nice climbs (still need to get High T in good condition). But rather the distinctly obscure Callaly crag, recently micro-popularised by Beastmaker repeating The Young, which is indeed a stunning bit of rock and really should be on every hardcore boulderer's ticklist. The only thing hardcore about me is my taste in techno, so we stuck to the easier routes which despite being short and esoteric offered pretty intense climbing on good rock. After a couple of spicy routes on the upper block, I cleaned The Auld for Ewan to climb, he cleaned Family Affair for me to get onto the initial ledge, find the lone gear placement was out of reach and the move was too hard, so that one got away.

Day 2 was not blowing a gale but was still pretty good weather so it was suitable to explore somewhere exposed, or so we thought. Linshields One was exposed to the backdrop of military training, as we conveniently missed the red flags at the Otterburn range so spent the day climbing to the soundtrack of artillery and small arms fire :D. Curiously it was under-exposed to the wind so we did have to battle midgies and sweatiness a bit, but it was worth the effort as Ewan did a couple of spicey little routes and I managed to tackle Stealth and Mirage, two tasty little slab climbs that I think I'd seen photos of years ago. Both used the same collection of gear and it was arguably the biggest Cluster Of Bollox ((c) Pylon King 2003) that I've ever placed. The beta is:

Ballnut size 2 in shallow slot.
Ballnut size 1 in shallower slot.
RP 0, directional, in tiny seam.
HB 0, directional, in tiny seam.
Camalot C3 size 1 in very shallow down-facing seam.
RPs 4 and 5 stacked together in small borehole pocket.

With climbing gear 6 wrongs can make a right, although it was a rather tentative right whose veracity was best left untested, so it took a while to commit to both routes, but was fun when I did so.

Definitely up for more County action over the winter. I've only got one more esoteric place to explore - Howlerhirst - and then it's back to mixing and matching all over the place, I might even go to some honeypot crags ;).

P.S. Just discovered that blogspot have switched to the stupid pointless user-unfriendly slideshow style photo display bollox. Will have to make sure in future that whatever pictures I post just use a normal link or are full size anyway. Bleh.

The Dismal End.

2011-09-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

It is now mid-September, the definitive, quintessential, Indian Summer time. When the showery frustration and occasional mugginess of July and August give way to the settled mellow warmth of early Autumn, when the crags have slowly but finally dried and seepage is at bay, when the midges are satisfyingly dying out, when the second great weather window of the year opens and allows some of the best climbing times.

As I write this, the tail end of a fucking HURRICANE is ripping through Glasgow like a cataclysmic expulsion of weather god diarrhoea, spraying 5cm deep torrents of rain on 70mph gusting winds. Oh but don't worry, there is a good weather window coming for a couple of days.....and then it's straight back to pissing SHIT again.

The dismal end to a dismal summer that never even started. A summer where everything seemed deceptively stacked in my favour: Last year felt like a recovery year from DVTs, this felt like a year where I was going to really get into climbing and progress and enjoy. I had plentiful and diverse inspiration for further exploration and nearer challenges. Following last years's dabblings, I had varied and succinct places to visit: A week on Lewis, long weekends in Skye, Caithness and Ardnamurchan, weekends at Glen Nevis and Creag Dubh - remarkably little to ask for an entire summer in which I had plenty of time. I also had - eventually - plenty of keen partners to explore with.

Time. Inspiration. Fitness. Plans. Partners.

All meaning fuck all without any reliable weather (since April, apart from that couple of weeks in July).

Some people seem to get berateful or bemused at my dismay with this dismality. "But it's Scotland, what do you expect??" Well I expect something better than the coldest summer in Scotland since 1993....a climbing contact said it had been the wettest summer in Fort William for 25 years and given the astronomical amount of aborted attempts to meet up and climb, I believe her.

If I was only into going to the gym, training at the climbing wall, pottering on local crags, going swimming, painting toy soldiers, listening to drum and bass and techno and metal, playing computer games, playing pool, hanging out in cafes and occasionally restaurants, chatting shit online and offline etc etc, then SURE the weather wouldn't be a problem... But I'm not - I'm also, and mostly, and genuinely, into exploring crags all over the country and beyond. Exploration which requires more than the occasional dry afternoon to justify the journey and punishing petrol prices.

So, yes, this really does suck for someone with my tastes and inspirations. It sucks for all of us climbers. I hope the suckage comes to an end soon, with at least some respite.

Aberdeen Antics.

2011-09-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

I had a couple of rather anticful days in Aberdeen recently (yet a-bloody-gain the usual Plan B when the west was too sodding sodden). Drove up one morning, climbed at South Cove, Long Slough and Red Rocks, visited Atlas and Dido errrr I mean bRad and Meme and had a nice time hanging out and chatting shit, then then next day climbed at Earnsheugh and Rock Band Cliff, and drove home. A pretty good surgical strike, doing another challenging but ultimately amenable (and excellent) route Cirrhosis at South Cove, and firmly detonating my long overripe Earnsheugh cherry with quickdraw gobbling single pitch ascents of Death Cap, Bat's Belfry, Pterodactyl and Weird Sister between Geoff and I.

Why do I seem to end up at Aberdeen so much?? And given that is rather easily answerable (weather, friends - the area has good ones of both of those - and a reasonably pleasant drive up), why do I persist in being inspired by the climbing there given it is a birdy, greasy, obtuse, highly local-centric mishmash of stupidly steep schist and grubbily granular granite that is often lacking in line or height and tries to make up for it in general discomfort?? Well despite all of those objective facts, it does have it's charms - variety, accessibility, distinctiveness of rock, and if you get it right, pretty rewarding climbing. I often struggle to deal with it, particularly the angle and conditions, but there is always plenty to persist with, and when the persistence pays off it is rather fun - as this trip was.

Close Call at Callerhues

2011-09-05T02:04:00.000-07:00

What a great wee crag Callerhues is. Even by Northumberland standards it's off the radar - well away from the famed and overused Bowden and Kyloe, guarded by a long-ish walk-in, sitting in splendid isolation on the expansive and exposed moorland, revelling in any sun and breeze that passes it way. Fewer climbers pass it's way, and so miss out on aesthetically featured sandstone and many varied and classic micro-routes whose small size belies their intensity, where an 8m route will have a full 8m of quality climbing from cranking off the ground on perky rugosities to teetering over the rounded top on subtle seams.

I passed it's way on Sunday, and got to sample a bit more climbing than on my first visit in 2003. Neil and Simon got involved with some funky sketchy HVSes and E1s that used to be mere VSes, we all did Weeping Fingers (I was chuffed with how smoothly it went), I did Tossing The Wobbler (above) without much of a wobbler. The actual wobbler and close call came on Rice Krispies later in the day. This steep sheer crunchy wall, home to two bold and intimidating routes, had inspired me previously but seemed out of my reach. Closer inspection revealed protection potential and ignited my inspiration, so I gave the route a try. A lot of ferocious crimping and downclimbing got some seemingly adequate gear blindly placed. And thence I climbed....

In a rare moment of confidence and committment, I just went for it. Crimped past the gear, crimped leftwards above it, crimped into an impasse at the top. Having checked out the finishing flutings, I just went for them too. Got a hand over, it felt okay, but as soon as I tried to move a foot, I started sliding. Shit I'm actually going to fall....Now the gear seemed okay but it was placed blind and it wasn't that far to the starting boulder below. In that flash of sliding, I felt....okayish....but still nervous, I was definitely falling and not pussying out. But in that moment, I did manage to pussy out, of a sort. I flicked a foot over into an adjacent chimney sidewall and got in balance. I escaped, didn't fall, and didn't do the route despite all the committment and having a hand on the top.

A close call to falling, but also a close call to doing the route. An inch further on the fluting and I could have held it, got my foot up and pulled over. A few inches further from the sidewall and I would have fallen.

I think this will haunt me for a while. I was really pleased that I committed and really excited going for the moves without inhibition. It was unusual to actually be falling off, even if I escaped that actual fall. It was frustrating to be that close. It is confusing to have so little to learn - I could have done a bit better but there's no real lesson there, other than sometimes you just miss out.

Still, I engaged in the route and there's still more to go back for at Callerhues ;).

Death or glory at Dunkeld.

2011-09-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Me: So, should I do Rat Race then??

Andy: *stares*....I'm not saying anything, it's a great route though.

Me: Yeah, well, I'm syked!!

- usual faffing gearing up chalk basting ensues -

Me: Okay cool I'm going to go for it.

Andy: Yeah, that's the stuff, death or glory!

Me: *snorts*....More like slumping on the gear sulking, or glory!

- usual battling gear fiddling and panicking ensues as I'm trying to get into the so-called rest niche -

Me: Shit, these holds are shit!!

- one move up -

Me: Shit that's it I'm dead, I'm dead.

- etc etc -

In my defence, I kinda meant dead as in when the school bully threatens you at lunchtime "Jenkins you little scrote, you're gonna be so dead after school", rather than actually dead dead. The threat of slithering down with negative dignity to safely slump on the adequate gear was more real, but being pumped and sweaty and stressed, it was enough of a threat!

Also in my defence, I fiddled in some closer gear, committed to the squirm into the niche, soundly and profanely berated the guidebook for implying the sloping cramped body-trashing static grovel was anything like a "good no hands rest", but used it anyway. Transferred the arm pump to all over body pump, thrutched upwards into some sort of normality, did the slabby bit and the roof bit and yeah did the damn climb. Bit epic but very cool and worth the effort. Glory, of a sort ;).

Wankshitting hidden holds at Weem.

2011-08-30T11:30:00.001-07:00

A free day and a decent forecast and two syked partners. I was keen to get somewhere either new and exploratory or with some rad challenges to get involved with. But the team-of-three-ness and a slow start precluded that, and Weem seemed suitable to keep the momentum going with convenient logistics (although it is a bloody hour and 40 minutes from Glasgow even with the new super-awesome fully open M80).

THe Secret Garden crag certainly is secretive, and the disorientating maze of rhodedndron (sp!) carnage and uselessly vague guidebook instructions made us glad of our personal tour guide Simon to lead the way, albeit sans requisitory machete. Once at the crag it was a pretty good day ticking almost all of it. I felt pretty fine on the trickier routes, and the blind and balancy schist is fairly relevant training.

The one that got away, well you'll never guess from the title, but it had a hidden fucking hold. I was up and down over this big roof so many times. Lots of holds, that soon ran out and ended up in the wrong place to pull over on some flat sloper notch thing. So many times trying to get the seemingly suitable hand on that hold. One final lunge for it it, one slump on the rope, one brief glance of the hidden slot on the right side of the hold, one piss-easy graunch over the lip. One small tourettical burst of swearing....for about 10 minutes. Ah well. Cheating fucking route ;)

Ramping it up a bit at Ratho.

2011-08-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

The previous trip was a weekend in Aberdeen. Good wee trip....but....fuck me it is a long long time since I got to proper climbing areas. Will there be a chance to get to Lewis, Skye, Wester Ross, Ardnamurchan, and back to Creag Dubh and Glen Nevis?? A good two months of late summer / autumn, often the best time the year after April/May......seems so feasible on paper, but I have fuck all hope. Really a dismal summer.

However there was a slight respite in the dismality of my water-treading non-progression (Why progression? Why not just potter on? Because progressing is fun and pleasurable and interesting by taking you to new areas of climbs and your climbing and seeing what happens, that's fucking why...). I got to Ratho one evening with the intention of climbing in the quarry. It was warm and still and moist. Usually a good excuse to go to the wall itself, but Simon was syked for outside and that seemed fair enough. After a wee warm up or two, I led a cool route up the main wall. Just a bit trickier than my usual punteering, but it required some committment and calming myself in the conditions - including sweating away and staying pumped despite being on a good ledge. Dropping a rope down revealed the face was - you guessed it - gently overhanging. So much for Scottish wall climbing!!

The upshot of all this is to confirm my previous post that I can actually do okay on climbs that suit me well. And that I'm now rather syked for more of that!!

On personal challenge and personal style.

2011-08-23T03:45:00.000-07:00

The other day I actually tried something tricky. I didn't do it but that I actually tried it was a hopefully decreasing rarity. The route was a slanting sparse crackline up a wall that overhung 3m in 15m height. I make that 1 in 5 so 15-20 degrees overhanging. Hmmm. Bloody Scotland and it's bloody steepness. The weather was good and I'd warmed up well, I climbed up to a mid-height slopey crux and back down again. Back up, more gear, back down. Back up, somehow committed to the crux and pressed on until a metre below the top I was struggling to hang on to flat jugs just to clip gear, let alone move up. Since the finish was 45 degree slopers into flat (not incut) grass, I knew I was beat. No stropping or sulking, but in the post-route analysis I was particularly fond of the excuse of it being my "anti-style".

This seemed obvious at the time, but in retrospect I did wonder if it was a too convenient excuse?? Surely I had done enough around Scotland that I would have tackled such steepness somewhere, and should be capable pushing my limits on it despite my fatness and weakness. Well, as it turns out, no. Definitely no. Recalling the more challenging routes I've done in Scotland looks like this:

White Meter, Loch Sloy - slab.

Chisel, Cambusbarron - just off vertical, powerful cranks but not pumpy.

Big Country Dreams, Cambusbarron - steepish but good rest between two short cruxes.

Walter Wall, Glen Nevis - just off vertical, bold with good rests.

The Fuhrer, Creag Dubh - sheer wall, good rests and good holds.

Auto De Fe, Berrymuir - okay this is very steep but short-lived and obvious gear to go for.

Captain Pugwash, Hidden Treasure Wall - vertical with a reasonable shake at the top.

Heave-Ho, Loch Tollaidh - steepish but good rest between two short cruxes.

Strip-Teaser, Loch Tollaidh - slab.

Call Of The Wild, Lochan Dubh - steepish but good rest between two short cruxes.

On The Western Skyline, Ardmair - vertical with good holds and good shakes.

Unleash The Beast, Ardmair - steep but some resting jams and obvious gear.

Where on this list does it say 15 degree overhanging stamina routes with no rests?? Hmmmm?? It doesn't. Because I don't do them, not at my limit anyway. I'm not good at them, I don't suit them, and although I aspire to be a well rounded climber, such routes are not really suitable to push myself on. So I need to get on some challenging routes that are my style, as well as doing more stamina training. Play to your strengths, work your weaknesses...

Detachment and distance.

2011-08-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

Ever since coming back from Sweden, I've had a lingering and persistent feeling of detachment and distance. Detachment from who I want to be, distance from what I want to be doing. Being more active, being more determined, being fitter, being more exploratory, being more progressive, making better use of my climbing time, being true to my self of exploration and inspiration. Something like Sweden (for example) was true to me, the sluggish, vague, floating along that I'm doing now is not.

This is symptomatic of a greater feeling of detachment and distance I feel from things in the past that were equally true to me. Although I am (slowly) working towards setting myself up for a lifestyle of action including climbing and travelling (in a general sense not in an extreme climbing bum sense), I feel like I'm in a fuzzy cocoon, in a sort of stasis while life outside goes on. While my fitness slips away unless I am totally diligent, while time passes slowly by, whilst things that have inspired me become more memory and less reality.

This is certainly not helped by my own utterly contrary and self-inhibiting predisposition to procrastination, indecision and inaction (an aspect of me that is totally at odds with what inspires me and what is true to me), and is probably not helped by side-effects of medication I am on (which I will be looking into this autumn). It is also not as drastic as this post might imply - what I've written might seem doomily emotive, but it is a subtle niggling malaise rather than an outright angstastrophe.

I write this because it is very much (although not entirely) climbing (and training and fitness and exploring) related. And because I try to clarify my thoughts and feelings to see if anything can be done about them. And I suppose that is, apart from just doing more and keeping more active, just this, which, of course, I already knew.

A recce of Arran.

2011-08-18T04:24:00.001-07:00

Arran bouldering that is. Yes the mountain stuff looks great blah blah 600m altitude walking pretty much from sea level FUCK THAT.

So, the bouldering. Contrary to the mountains the bouldering is the very definition of accessible, not so much roadside as actually on the road itself, in the case of the Cat Stone at Corrie. Warm weather, limited time and a lack of spotters precluded much sendage, but I got to check out the following areas:

Kildonan:
(Above) Very pleasantly situated beach bouldering on well-sculpted gabbro. But very limited with only a few good problems before the rock turns too ledgy or scrittly. Good potential for some serious highballs but I wouldn't go back.

Corrie Boulders:
The classic road circuit, on road or off road take your pick. A line of proper granite lumps scattered throughout Corrie village, with proper coarse texture and proper frictional slopers. I did a wee bit of bouldering but it wasn't the weather for it. What I saw inspired me to come back when it's 15 degrees colder and I have 100% more bouldering buddies with me, to tackle some good bulging slabby things and some good bulging roofy things.

Mushroom Boulder:
A brief look at this overhanging beast provided additional inspiration. While some aspects are crude and could do with a good scrub, the combination of juggy roofs leading into spicey highball slab finishes looks like another good "team fun" venue and contrasts nicely with the granite.

So, a vague plan for winter:

1. Grab some syked friends, lots of pads, a flask of coffee and a short piece of rope.

2. Drive down and get an early ferry across to the island as passengers (car alone is £62 return UGHHH, passengers £10 return).

3. Get the bus up to the far Corrie boulder and start there.

4. Walk back through the other boulders loosing skin but gaining sends.

5. Hitch/bus back down to the Mushroom. Ab down and brush off the finishes. By this time skin should be trashed but muscles not quite worn out - finish them off on the steep sandstone.

6. Bus back to Brodwick and ferry home.

7. Celebrate with fish and chips.

8. Yay!

Gaylord chosseering at Glen Clova.

2011-08-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Glen Clova:

Lots of mid-grade climbs to go at.

Good location and outlook.

Nice sunny but exposed position.

Strenuous but short approach.

Decent area of the country for weather.

But...

The only problem being the climbing is a bit shit.

Fiend:

Lots of mid-grade climbing experience.

Good personal inspiration and outlook.

Nice ability to work out positions.

Short but capable of strenuosity.

Decent determination to chase best weather.

But...

The only problem being HIS climbing is a bit shit.

Less of a "maintaining standards" session and more of a "maintaining a complete inability to progress even slightly" session. A previous session at Ratho had me feeling surprisingly unpunterish but once on real rock with the real prospect of climbing above real trad protection and really actually getting a vaguely tricky climb done, the gaylordness - and complete lack of overall fitness - was out in standard force. I did manage a couple of easier routes tho so there is some mileage there. Also got to recce plenty of Clova for future potential - i.e. there isn't that much that looks super-awesome enough.

Learnings from this session: more determination when tackling trickier routes and definitely more fitness training.

Summer bouldering on Simonside.

2011-08-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Weekend forecast was funny. Didn't really make many plans. Ended up on a last minute trip down to Northumberland, where the weather was neither funny nor funny in fact it was fully fine. Solid sunshine, a bit of a breeze, and definite dryness. Perfect for checking out Simonside on a long summer's day. Unfortunately there was a slight technical hitch when my planned partner didn't appear nor answer any sporadic phone contact over 2 hours waiting. It later turns out he had a car crash and was admitted to hospital for a few stitches OOOOPS.

Oh well in the meantime I made some use out of the 4 hour round trip by hiking up onto the Simonside plateau, via a serious of blatant and cruel false summits, on a bumbly bouldering mission. This kinda sucked as it didn't involve any Easy Trad, but was kinda cool as it did involve a lot of walking, a fair bit of easy bouldering mileage, some renewed inspiration for Northumbrian rock (useful in the current return to dire weather), as well as a useful recce of a few cool problems for winter conditions. It felt like a "full" afternoon out and was vaguely useful training for the greater ranges so that's nice. Still missed the trad tho, still missing bigger challenges tho.

Clambering at Creag Dubh and The Camel.

2011-07-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

Back in sunny Scotland, I just had a nice wee trip in rather glorious weather. Time constraints prevented heading too far afield, so Central Highlands it was. Creag Dubh is one of those crags that keeps on giving - there is so much at the low-mid extreme standard that there always seems to be something to do. My main inspiration is some of the harder Great Wall routes, but warm weather and general lack of both fitness and confidence discouraged that. Seepage discouraged Ticket To Ride, laziness discouraged Barrier Wall, but a dry Waterfall Buttress provided a good opportunity to sample the semi-aqueous delights there. A couple of good routes - one very much in the classic "easy but bold jugpulling" Creag Dubh style - got me rather syked for more.

However variety is the spice of life and B-dawg was keen to get humping The Camel, and that seemed like a good plan to me, so after the usual nice & cheap Newtonmore camping and greasy spoon breakfast complete with irredeemably awful coffee, we trotted up there in a mere hour. The day was warm, the Camel was cold and the cobbles could feel cruel to numb fingers, but I managed a few routes including the deservedly classic Stone Of Destiny, and yes, you can ride on the stone :D

Unfortunately my lack of fitness took it's toll on the hugely harder classic F7a, and I slumped off. More stamina training needed, more indication that despite these fun trips I'm still treading water, and it made me grump like an Orc:

P.S. Left over from a previous blog but cleverly continuing the C-theme, here is some more Caithness Culture:

This year there were 10 different tractor magazines in the Wick Newsagent, rather than merely 8. I was stuck what to buy and ended up so confused I bought a copy of Climb instead (which coincidentally had an article on Bohuslan).

Sweden the photos.

2011-07-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Bivvy hut in front of the lake.

Lake in front of the bivvy hut.

Typical walk-in at Seglora.

The amazing Afterburner.

More Afterburner.

How can anyone possibly resist??

Typically chilled out climbing vibes at Galgeberget.

Weekly washtime!

View out from Svaneberget.

Nice route at Utby in Gothenburg itself.

Same.

And another nice route at Utby.

Same. Funky rock there.

Dunno what it is but in the words of my mum: "looks friendly tho;-)"

Dude where does the line go??

Somehow not getting too lost...

Sweden the ticklist.

2011-07-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

Bohuslan:
(5 days climbing)

Skalefjall:
En Liten Bit Granit 6 **
Granitebiten 7- ***
Machete 6 *

Hallinden:
Prismaster 6- *** (second)
Afterburner 6+ **

Fjedan:
Petroleum 5+ ** (s)
Bideford Dolphin 5- * (s)

Galgeberget:
Galgen 6- *
Ater Komsten 4+ ** (s)
Ballabaget 6+ **

Haller:
Mallorol 6- ***
Chapman 6 **

Granite Grotto:
??? F6c
Spektakel F6a
Islandshäst 6b+ **

Norden's Ark:
Jarven 5+ *
Snoleoparden 6+ **

Svanberget:
Hostsonaten 6+ **
Bergkirstis Polka 6- ***

Hogberget:
Lattja 6+ **

Utby:
(1 day climbing)

Snett A Vanster 6 ***
Ants In My Pants 6- ** (s)
Panda 6- ***
??? 5+ * (s)
Bagarmossen 6 *
Svara Diedret 6- **

Seglora:
(2 days climbing)

Punsch 6-
Kronartskolkans Flykt 7-
Delikatessan 7-
Kastrationsangest 7-
Ankedammen 7
Vino Tinto 6
Gasa Marsch 6
Basalt 6
Gettingen 6-
Arponas Planet 7-
Blackfisken 6+
Mluda Matilda 7
Matildas Groggveranda 7
Bjorn Sover 7-
Svartenbrandt 7-
Arkiv X 6+
Lenas Led 6-

Kullaberg:
??? 5- **

Sweden the country.

2011-07-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

Everyone drives a Volvo. Usually an estate. This is great.

Unlike the UK, most people do not drive like complete fucking morons. This is good.

There seems to be no national radio station devoted to minimal techno 24 hours a day. This is very bad.

All Swedish people speak good English and are usually very helpful. This is a revelation that British people could learn from.

Unfortunately there are no English signs anywhere at all, for anything. Although "toalett" and "stopp" are mercifully comprehensible.

All Swedish children are very blonde and seem very happy.

Most Swedish women are very blonde and wear very short shorts.

Everything is extremely expensive. The only exceptions being pre-grated cheese and low-alcohol beer.

Supermarket meatballs are fairly average and I can't eat a whole packet of them.

Restaurant meatballs can be very awesome.

South-West Sweden consists entirely of fields, pine forests, lakes/inlets, and small lumps of granite.

In Bohuslan, those small lumps of granite can be very awesome.

Sweden calling...

2011-07-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

I am going to Sweden for 12 days! Bohuslan! Climbing! And the rest of my experience will hopefully be summed up in the two videos above! Won't have my laptop so no updates but no doubt there will be some extended waffling when I return...

Sunstroke at Stranraer.

2011-07-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

Decisions decisions this weekend. The weather forecast was good but the midge forecast was less good especially in the hills, with the wind sometimes struggling to break the 5 mph bare minimum. Sea-cliffs or similar were proposed, and for the purposes of convenient travelling were narrowed down to: Ardnamurchan, Aberdeen area, or Stranraer Peninsula. Much triangulation of surrounding Met Office locations and averaging out potential wind speeds ruled out Ardnamurchan, enthusiasm for a dry-in-the-west forecast ruled out Aberdeen, so Stranraer it was, for the triple whammy of Crammag, Llaggantalluch, and Portobello (the crag, not the Edinburgh district not the London district nor indeed the mushroom, although there was talk of taking some to the crag, sauteeing them on a camp stove and getting the essential but still apparently unclaimed "Eating Portobellos at Portobello" tick).

So yes. The weather was glorious. I got sunburnt knees from my cutting edge shorts + compression stockings combo. And a sunburnt head. And sunburnt shoulders from my "hide the gut show the guns" wifebeater. We did some great climbs each day. Slabs and roof cracks and thin walls and all sorts. The micro-granite is a unusual delight, the greywacke a familiar delight. We saw a curious seal each day (probably not the same one) and lots of annoyingly loud seagulls. I did one of my finest crag turds ever, coiling it out in a splendid figure of 8. We stayed at a huge caravan park at Sandhead that despite being very distant from the wilderness experience, did good butties and good coffee. And went to a very nice pub nearby for a fine meal punctuated by a splendid butterscotch profiterole dessert, probably the highlight of the trip.

Hurrah for climbing really!

Classic Caithness Coolness.

2011-06-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

Yay! Back to Caithness at last. Somewhere that always inspired me from reading about it in guidebooks and magazines (I wonder if Duncan Disorderly knows I pinched his OTE with the Caithness special a few years ago??), and somewhere that has proved to be worth that inspiration on initial and subsequent visits. My visits now total 3, which I hoped would be enough (not least because of a certain tedium with the neverending Inverness > Wick finale of the 5+ hour drive), but will likely require at least one more, as this trip was 66% rather than 100% successful...

Much Climbing at Mid Clyth
Yay! For Mid Clyth. A brief initial visit merely sampled the compact and heavily starred Stack area, this substantial return visit confirmed the validity of those stars in an orgy of steep wall climbing. Yes, it really is as good as the guidebook (the definitive, not the less reliable selected guide which criminally misses out this fine crag) says, with a veritable plethora of minor classics crowded side by side above the most convenient (abseil descent aside) of flat platforms. More than you can shake a stick at....or even a seal. Verily the seals were out in force, lowing and mooing and staring quizzically at our bizarrely non-aqueous antics. Those antics simply included a lot of great climbing....and that was that.

Showers at Scarlet
Since the weather forecast predicted 3 unbroken dry days, the rain had the decency to wait until midway through the second day. Oh what courtesy. Before this meterological blip, the mighty Sarclet was the natural choice for the day. Sarclet is somewhat more adventurous, although the main adventure involved trying to construct a vaguely comfortable two man survival shelter out of a ropebag, a rucsac, a small rockshelf with a good RP above it, and a few badly tensioned and even worse placed anchors. This sufficed - barely - for early showers, thus allowing us to snatch a couple of warm-up routes. However the last route was led in light drizzle and seconded in substantial rain. After a soggy and swearful retreat, the sun came out at the car. Arse and double arse.

Evening Esoterica
After an emergency - and pleasingly free - weather check at the Wick library, there was enough promise for the 3rd day....and the 2nd evening. The showers had scarcely tickled Wick nor the coast further North, so we tried Auckengill, lured by the dubious promise of easily accessible 3 star 8m routes. Hmmmm. Well apart from obviously not being 3 star routes, it was pretty cool. A charmingly relaxed location above an arguably even more convenient platform. The couple of chosen routes were definitely short but also distinctly steep, providing some good value. Not nearly as steep as a final digestif route at The South Head Of Wick....an alleged E2 5b with a hard 5c/6a crank above just adequate wires, hard to place amongst severely overhanging climbing the whole of it's brief and brutal way. This required enough up and downclimbing to get a Munro tick, yet was still fun enough climbing to make a perky E3/4 despite such dicking around.

Slipperiness at Sarclet
Thanks to the still dry forecast, the day dawned drizzly on the campsite. Back to the ever-useful library and the promise of a dry afternoon to be worth a morning caffeinating (Morag's Cafe being surprisingly good in this regard), perusing the vast array of tractor magazines (10 different ones in total, I was struggling to decided between Vintage Tractor, Old Tractor, and Classic Tractors) and general faffing (like I need any practise). Heading out to finish the job at Sarclet once more, the brightening day and freshning breeze promised the elusive sending conditions. However my befuddlement about onshore and offshore breezes and sea-cliff conditions was at the fore again. After following the mighty Pimpernel and doing a brief warm up, my chosen inspiration, despite looking reassuringly welcoming from a pert wee belay ledge, was greasier than a whore's fuckflaps. Thus escape was made, and there was little more to be done.

A rather good trip but a couple of Sarclet classics still remaine...so close....yet not close enough...

Two sides...

2011-06-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Two climbers.

One route.

One challenge.

Both climbers tackle this challenge. Both climbers push themselves. Both climbers have to put a large amount of effort and many attempts into the route. Both climbers have to overcome previous difficulties to succeed.

One climber completes the route, and in his celebration of success, just mentions the route name and maybe the quality, but not the grade.

One climber completes the route, and in his celebration of success, just mentions the grade, but not the route name nor the quality.

A small detail, but...

One meaning or two different meanings?

One inspiration or two different inspirations?

Leisurely climbing at Loudon.

2011-06-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

I had a terrible thought recently. I've been getting a few decent local days out, and I suddenly realised that it would be theoretically possible for me to be one of those smug patronising twats who, after a typically abysmal non-summer, whitters on with crap like "What was the problem with the weather? I got out a few times every week, it was fine" as if their myopic and insular repeat visits to the same local crag in between showers did the term "getting out" any form of justice.

So, make no mistake, the weather is fucking appalling. Sure I got out last Thursday evening, and yesterday afternoon in nice fresh dry weather, but Friday was pissing down, Saturday was pissing down, Sunday was constant showers, and today is so pissing down it makes Friday look like the Sahahra. Local cragging is keeping my hand in but it is in no way the sort of proper trips that a summer is for.

Anyway, Loudon. Finally got out with B, whose regular mid-week days off usually coincide with the rain when we've planned to climb, but not yesterday. It was quite fine at Mount Loudon despite a bit of mugginess on the walk-up (and maybe a bit hot and bothered after overshooting the A71 junction and ended up South of Ayr...). B was keen for trad mileage, I was keen for more treading water, and we followed that keeness, conquering Mount Loudon via 7 good routes, culminating in finally laying Epitaph Sodding Variation to rest. This was quite pleasing because last summer I had a right flap on it before reversing off, this time although quite hard it just worked naturally. So I guess I am maintaining a steady level. Hopefully this will set me up for pushing things a bit....at some distant point :S

Dabbling at Dumby.

2011-06-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

I've gone off Dumby a bit. Unless I got there properly focused with a clear intention, I usually end up dabbling on the boulders. The boulders, however, being stern, unforgiving and generally disdainful of human beings, do not tolerate such dabbling. They demand no less than the upmost dedication and the upmost determination to their harsh and hostile intricacies.

Plus I am fat and weak and can't do problems I could do years ago.

However I sometimes go down and get tempted to dabble in other directions - further upwards, with a rope and sometimes a rack. The other evening was one of those occasions. My fingers were knackered from a good campus / fingerboard session (part of the plan to de-weakify, given my fucked legs severely inhibit de-fatifying), so I just fancied some Easy Trad. Dumby isn't the best place for that once you've done the big Windjammer/LongBow combination, but a bit of hunting around reveals some options.

First up was The Whip. This was given a bland 5b grade in the old guide. IIRC, Dave Macleod was asking for feedback on some Glasgow outcrops, and I amongst other suggested that some of the longer "problems" at Dumby and Craigmore might just deserve adjectival grades. For example, The Whip is 5b, hard 5b to start and then fairly mild 5b to finish - 8m up above an abrupt angled landing. Well worth it's E2 5b and two stars. I set off in warm weather with little chalk and clunky resoled shoes, just intending to play on the bottom to warm up. However the steadily defined moves and good rests just encouraged me to go all the way up, so with some trepidation I did.

Second was some searching with Neil for a suitable lead for both of us. I spotted Eldorado, an obvious if mis-described direct start to Desperado. Neil muses "I thought you wanted Easy Trad, like HVS, rather than E3 5c". Well, errr, E3 5c IS Easy Trad, particularly when it's a short direct start to an HVS rather than some overhanging and unpredictable mega-pitch. I can't pretend otherwise. So I got on it. The start took some working out, with a low altitude but high chance of failure off balance lunge to a jug. After that it was steady up the HVS, which was actually an E1. I rather enjoyed it. Neil thought it was okay. The consensus was the start was sort of E2/3 5c/6a, with more risk of severe lacerations from brambles and broken glass than actual breakages of one's own.

And that was that. Very much a "treading water" session, like ALL the ones I'm having - and getting bored with - at the moment. Fun in itself but not satisfying the deeper exploratory and progressive urges. The weather is still sodding awful but I keep trying to be patient and keep training...

Backlog Bollox

2011-06-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

Holy arse on toast it's been a long time since I posted any ramblings on here. The main reason being that things have been a bit bollox with weather, car trouble, partner mis-organisation, general slothfulness and other malaises.

Things I haven't done recently include:

Got back up to anywhere inspiring in the North West or North East.

Booked any rad and awesome trips away.

Climbed much that has been particularly challenging or progressive.

Kept up with training hard at the gym.

Kept up with training hard at the wall.

Followed my concepts for having a great climbing year.

Boo.

What a choad.

What I have done is sat on my arse too much, and then a bit of the following:

Horribly Weak at Harper's Wall
The low point of this year if not my life. Not only did I have to resort to climbing a VS, I actually enjoyed it. Ugggghhhhh. VS. Fucking hillwalking.

Breezy Cruising at Brown Crag
Obviously the above was completely unacceptable. So, after a good night's sleep and a strong coffee, Phil and I headed down to Brown Crag to see what we could do. The initial plan was to go back to square 1 and get some good E1 mileage there. As it turned out, conditions were good, the vibe was good, I was suitably wary/prepared for the steepness, and slowly eased my way into E1 5a, E1 5b, E1 5c, E2/3 5c, E2/3 5c, which whilst only just above hillwalking / descent route level, did actually feel like climbing. All pretty nice routes too.

Kinda fun at The Keel
I arranged to climb with Stuart. He suggested The Keel, a new local sport climbing crag on the Aberdeen coast. Ugggghhhhh. I expected something that would make Boltsheugh look like Ceuse. Really the last sort of place I'd want to go on a decent day with a plethora of trad available. Nevertheless I went along to give it ago, cos he's a nice guy, I might get some good training in, and maybe persuade him over to Coble Boards afterwards. As it happens although The Keel was short, steep and scruffy, it was long enough to make leading feel pretty worthwhile, and the climbing was actually kinda fun and it felt good to get involved and get a decent workout.

Casual Flailing at Carrock Fell

Each time I go to Carrock Fell it seems to be in bollox conditions. This time I thought previous bone dry days plus a forecast 10-20 mph Easterly wind would encourage some sort of friction but alas no. The rock was dry but my skin wasn't and although it was cool-ish there was a vague mugginess that ensured a brief session and a determination to revisit more in winter.

Going Okay at Glen Ogle
More local days, blah blah. Went up to Glen Ogle to sample fresh breeze and afternoon sun and it was pretty good despite it being blind rounded dusty slopey obtuse schist at it's almost worst. Nevertheless I climbed okay, highlights being a near miss on a slopey F7a - had actually committed fully to the moves and was 0.0000001 seconds away from getting a jug when I lost balance. Good that I put the effort in rather than wimping out but annoying it was rewarded with failing anyway. And a near success on the classic E3 crackline which was easy on all the steep bits and tricky on all the slabby ledgy bits and while never actually hard was sufficiently obscure enough I very nearly came off on dusty rock but somehow persuaded myself to adhere. Not so much a fun romp as a good exercise in staying calm.

Chilling at Cambusbarron
Finally went to Camby just for something to do, and that something to do seemed to mostly be lounging on my mat enjoying the sporadic sun. Did one warm-up route, tried a supposed easy E3 that was utter nails, backed off in a confused micro-huff, decided it was too still / tiring to try anything challenging and blah blah.

SoOoOo....what next to sort this debacle out. I'd love to say "more Highlands and Islands awesomeness" but I doubt the diabolical weather gods will be that kind. I certainly need to keep up with my concepts for dealing with shitty weather. I also need to train a lot more, and follow up some leads for a climbing trip abroad. Better get my arse off the toast and into gear then...

The Waiting Game.

2011-05-19T05:26:00.001-07:00

Some free time, some keen partners, some atrocious weather.

This is the way it goes but once all the moaning and ranting and fist-shaking is out of the way, what is the best way to make the best use out of it?? In Arno's Problem - Question - Opportunity terms:

Problem: The weather fucking blows.

Question: What can I do in climbing / planning terms to maximise current and future enjoyment despite the weather??

Opportunity: Work out what areas are best to explore in weather that fucking blows, work out what climbing desires can be incorporated into weather that fucking blows, take the opportunity to train in preparation for when the weather doesn't fucking blow.

So, here are some ideas for reference, for when it's the typical south-westerly sunshine/fuckingshowers wet in the west weather:

Venues:

Northumberland: Callerhues, Rothley, Simonside, Bowden, Goat Crag...
South West: Laggantalluch, Crammag Head, Kiln O' Fuffock...
Central Outcrops: Tig-thingy Viewpoint, Glen Croe, Ardvorlich, Glen Lednock, Glen Ogle...
Eastern Outcrops: Glen Clova, Limekilns, Roslin Glen, Cambusbarron, Angus Quarries, Weem...
North East: Ballater, Rosehearty, Tarlair, Red Tower, Harper's Wall, Earnsheugh, Craig Stirling and more...

...all of which have either useful training routes (physically and mentally challenging), or specific inspirations, or would be interesting to explore, or would tackle useful climbing styles.

Other plans:

Bouldering: Glen Nevis, Arrochar (projects ;)), Carrock Fell, Gouther Crag, Gillercombe etc etc, Queen's Crag, Simonside Plateau, Shaftoe etc etc...

...the weather might be occasionally warm but it's often bloody windy during sunshine/fuckingshowers periods, so conditions can be surprisingly good. More mixing and matching, more exploration, more physical training, more fun.

Suitable inspirations: As well as exploring super-awesome areas, I do want to push myself a bit more and explore new areas of challenge and personal climbing development. Some of those challenges are more local, more compatible with general training and a focused hit... ...so that could be a good aspiration.

Training: I've found I need to progress physically to progress with my climbing overall, particularly fitness, stamina, and power to weight ratio. The gym, the campus board, the mighty R, the local-ish sport venues are all suitable and I do have some syke to keep using... ...this needs to be balanced with "keeping my hand in" on trad, but should leave me better prepared when it's dry enough to get to proper venues.

Overall: when the weather fucking blows, explore locally, mix and match with other climbing styles, train hard, and be ready to crush the Highlands and Islands :).

(And paint more toy soldiers and listen to more drum and bass...)

The Usual Bollox.

2011-05-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

Sunshine and showers, the most despicable and infuriating of anti-climber weather conditions, guaranteed in it's unpredictability to turn out gorgeous if you stay in and and start pissing down as soon as you go out to touch rock, the heaviness of Scottish showers ensuring that even wet-weather options get adequately annoying seepage and the general on/off nonsense of such a reprehensibe climate cock-up preventing even the most slightly interesting trip away, maximising the boredom of snatched hours at local venues and allowing the myopic and unimaginative to claim they're having an awesome early summer climbing because they go to Stanage / Avon / Dumby every sodding time.

The silver lining to these mocking clouds being that I am 1. Kinda busy and 2. Kinda syked to train, after the last two glorious trips away which were great exploration but left me with a slightly sensation that I was STILL lagging behind the potential I wished to progress into, and needed to up my stamina and general physical and mental ability to cope with the steepness that obviously or insidiously infests most Scottish mid-grade cragging. Hence sessions at the campus board, gym, and the mighty R, which I went down to last saturday after a campussing and gym session and still did okay, which shows potential THERE but I need to, and will do, a fair bit more in the meantime. Bring on the pump.

Glorious Gairloch.

2011-05-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

One of my current aims in exploring around Scotland is to sample the local whisky from each major climbing area I visit. I like climbing and I like whisky and I like supping on a wee dram of the latter with a campsite dinner after doing plenty of the former. The harmony of climbing on the bones of the land during the day, and feasting on the fruits of it's flesh in the evening. So far I've had good, great, or sometimes just adequate combinations of: Caithness climbing + Old Pultney, Inverness/Moray/Aberdeen climbing + Singleton, and Skye climbing + Talisker.

One place where this combination has always eluded me is the Ullapool-Gairloch area, rich in excellent cragging but barren in comparable whiskies, Inverness and Wick distilleries not quite having the local feel....until now that is!

A tip off from a local shop led me to this secret micro-distillery at Aultbea, and a small but expensive purchase of their cask strength spiced rum cask (to go with the summery weather) single malt. So far, so promising. After a fresh breezy day at Tollie Crag, there was something warming to look forward to. But what about the taste?? I am pleased to report it is a tipple that worthily matches the quality of Gairloch cragging. Brought down to bottle strength with a drop of water, it blends a good sharp spice with tropical fruit tones and a woody casky finish that was most pleasing. A rousing success.

Oh yeah and we climbed at Tollie Crag and Loch Maree Crag with not a midge in sight, and Loch Tollaidh (above) in fierce evening sun, then wombled past Whale Rock in Glen Nevis on the way back. Mostly fairly punterly but the weather was awesome and it was great to explore the elusive Tollie midge-havens in fresh conditions, and Arial at Loch Maree was the most outrageously big pitch I can recall climbing. Time for a wee break, some training, and hopefully some progression.

P.S. and someone set fire to Liathach DOH.

A mulltitude of mulling on Mull.

2011-04-27T04:23:00.000-07:00

Woohoo I got to Mull. Simon D and I had a long-running plan over the entire winter to go there for some suntrap cragging. Generally the "sun" part of the suntrap cragging didn't happen enough to justify the drive/ferry/limited accomodation logistics, so the winter plan became a spring plan and a "whenever" plan. That whenever was the last long weekend and we took full advantage of it and had a great trip...

Day 1
Venue: Scoor
Rock: Schist
Climbing: Sheer slabby trad
Routes: Lead E2 5b, E3 6a, E2 5c, E3 6a, E2 5b

~¤~
Day 2
Venue: Erraid
Rock: Granite
Climbing: Slabby and steep trad
Routes: Lead E2 5c, E2 5b, E1 5b, E1 5b, E3 5c, E2 5b, soloed VS 4c, VS 4c, HVS 5a

~¤~
Day 3
Venue: Loch Buie
Rock: Gabbro
Climbing: Bulging bouldering
Problems: Crushed V4 (flash), V5 (2nd go), V4 (4 goes), V6 (worked)

~¤~
Day 4
Venue: Ardtun
Rock: Dolerite
Climbing: Vertical crack/groove trad
Routes: Lead E1 5b, E2 5b, E3 5c, E2 5b

~¤~
In general
Climbing: Very good. Mostly short but intense. Good value.
Variety: Excellent. Various rock types and various styles (there is also granite bouldering, gneiss and limestone)
Acessibility: Reasonable once over there. Some long-ish walks but not steep.
Scenery: Stunning beaches or dramatic mountains.
Wildlife: 4 friendly pigs, a hare, a cluster of seals, a lost cow on a huge beach, a small lizard, a normal peacock and an albino peacock.
Facilities: Figden campsite exposed but lovely setting. Good showers but can run cold if busy. Fionnport shop excellent for it's small size.
Food: Tobermory whisky B2B Isle Of Mull smoked cheese.

~¤~

Ticking over but not ticking.

2011-04-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

So I have returned from another important, inspiring, and rewarding exploratory trip. Returned to a Scottish spring, summer, and autumn which stretchs away in the dank impenetrable gloom. Returned to the possibilities of more fun climbing, more exploration, more interesting venues, and more cool challenges in this fascinating and frustrating country.

It's the challenge which I am pondering on at the moment. I've done a fair bit of climbing recently, but, leaving aside the ludicrosity of Pedriza slabs, it hasn't pushed me that much. There have been some vaguely difficult routes, but few that have taken my outside my comfort zone into the "see what happens" and "gonna have to really apply myself" zones. This is something I miss, not challenge for challenge's sake, but a genuine feeling of missing the interest and intrigue that comes with trying something uncertain, with exerting one's skills, with having to PULL HARD ON SMALL HOLDS ;).

Of course the flipside to this is gaining a good amount of mileage and hopefully momentum that will translate into a good general climbing familiarity from which to tackle further challenges. This was perhaps evident from my bouldering this winter season - I wanted to push myself, but initially all I did was explore around. Great in itself but again not really pushing myself. Later on in the winter, though, I found I could get on and tackle some respectable challenges with readiness, positivity and often success.

I suspect the time might be right for doing the same with routes...

La Pedriza Beta.

2011-04-13T11:44:00.001-07:00

Go here, it's cool:

La Pedriza beta April 2011

General approach:

45 mins from Madrid airport, roads generally easy to negotiate by Spain's appalling standards. Manzaneres El Real is the useful hub of the area.

Driving approach:

Main La Pedriza entrance is very busy at weekends but quiet in the week. Arrive before 9am weekends or you won't get in and will face an extra hour's walk. Sunday slightly quieter early on but busy later.

El Tranco entrance is also very busy at weekends. There might be sneaky parking available for the brave / cunning, unless the police close the road. Again arrive early.

Alternatives: La Ermita El Boalo is impossible to find from book, check a map in advance. Placas De La Ermita is a valid option.

Walking approach:

Most main areas are at least 20-30 mins walk, with many more distant crags, although a few areas are 10 mins. The lower paths are very good, the main difficulty of the approach depends on getting the right uphill path to the actual crags. Find them and the approaches are okay, miss them and double the approach time.

Accommodation:

Accommodation is a bit awkward as there is no obvious hostel / cheap climber's hangout available (El Tranco is a cheap hotel, the park refuge is 40+ mins walk in the park), and the plethora of camping options often have difficult to find information on the internet. The general choices are:

Camping at E18-20 for 2 people plus car / night.

Campsite cabins at E50-55, sleeps 2-4 / night

Hotel rooms at E50-60 for double / night.

E.g.:

Camping El Ortigal - below El Tranco crags, very convenient, very busy and the Spanish-only owner is can be uninformative.

Camping La Fresneda - few km out of town, close but car useful, have cabins but got booked up.

Camping Pico De La Miel - 30 mins drive away, but en-route to limestone. Have dozens of cabins and bar with rubbish food but decent beer. Owner can speak English.

Equipment:

12 quickdraws, 60m rope. All crags we visited we fully bolted, also we never saw anyone carrying nor recommending trad kit so I assume many if not most of the other crags were bolted. There are a few good trad lines but nothing you wouldn't get in West Penwith. There is a colour-coded guide to the safety(?) of most routes, this did not seem to correspond to the bolt spacing nor anything obvious.

Shoes:

Shoes need to be tight to get most precision on the crystals AND loose for heel down rubber contact, also need to be soft and rounded for most sensitivity AND stiff and edgy for most support and solidity. Good luck.

Climbing:

If you're thinking of going you should know what it's about: lots of friction slabs, lots of crystal climbing, lots of single pitch, some multipitch, some steep stuff that's well worth seeking out as respite. Be warned the slab climbing is mis-graded and highly random.

Grades:

Some might say the grades are sandbags / stiff / whatever. The reality is they are simply wrong, albeit usually consistently wrong. The grades are normally 2 full grades below what they should be, sometimes 3, occasionally 1 if you are lucky. E.g. A Pedriza 6a slab will feel AT LEAST like a F6b / E2 5c slab elsewhere. The steep climbs are usually only 1 grade below what they should be.

Conditions:

A lot of the park gets a lot of sun and the crags are exposed to all of it (and any wind). Early April it was 22-24 degrees in the local town and most of the time we had to seek shade. The rock dries quickly but there is no shelter from rain on the granite.

Crags visited:

Canchos De Los Brezos: sun, fully bolted, 20 mins obvious approach, Sector Izquierdo can be runout, 60m rope.

Cancho Butron / Colina Hueca: shade unless sun is high, fully bolted, 25 mins obvious approach, narrow but comfy base, CB RHS has new direct lines.

Cancho De Los Muertos: shade and sun, fully bolted, 45 mins approach along river and up, path hard to find, direct ridge path from further parking would be gentler, great location at summit X-roads with steep climbing.

Muro Del Euro: early shade, fully bolted, 30 mins semi-obvious approach.

Risco De La Foca: late shade, fully bolted, easy 10 mins approach, steep routes at Placa Oeste debolted except F6c arete.

Quebrantaherraduras Inferior: shaded by trees, fully bolted, easy 10 mins approach, very busy, minor steep routes.

Placa De Las Nueve: sun, fully bolted, 20 mins okay approach, 60m rope useful.

El Indio / Risco De La Fuente: sun and shade, fully bolted, 20 minutes easy approach, bad rock on shady side of RDLF.

Patones specific beta April 2011

General:

Local limestone is highly pocketed and good respite for the fingertips. PDLO is an essential visit in it's own right. Grades are usually a bit stiff but close to being right, some sandbags on shorter routes. Plenty of shade if needed. Easy road access heading East from the same motorway Junction that Pedriza is West from.

Crags visited:

Ponton De La Oliva: sun and shade, very easy approach, no parking problems, Placas De Sol upwards was closed from middle parking, West side is a cool setting, East side is as good as any Euro-lime crag. 60m rope recommended.

Los Alcores: sun, easy approach, entirity of riverside crag is flooded, remaining upper tier crag is worst I've visited in Europe.

Canyon De Uceda: shade, rocky approach and some narrow ledges, not child-friendly, Sector Antonio Martin worth visiting, rest very short.

La Pedriza 10.

2011-04-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

The final kitty of the day is....a bonus one ;)

Well I have started writing this long before the final day and will no doubt finish it long after, but this is how it went in between those times...

Get up eat tortilla pack car cruise to La Pedriza walk into shady crag to do slabs and one steep arete realise shady crag is sunny cos we're early for a change ARSE try F6a slab fall off ARSE try F6a+ slab and give up ARSE both utterly nails get on semi-shady F6a+ slab do several English 6a cruxes randomly fall off top DOUBLE FUCKING ARSE fuck slabs go round to steep F6c arete cruise it YAY FUN redeem something out of the day walk back down go for swim in icy mountain river BRRRRR repack climbing bags and drive 5 hours to Alicante due to cunning timing arrive waaay early wait for hours for checkin YAWN eventually get through and stuff self on Burger King YUM more waiting at gate YAWN eventually get on plane pointing right direction MP3 player runs out of batteries and can't get comfortable to sleep FFS land wait for sodding ages for hordes of numpties to dribble through customs FFS YAWN wait more for airport parking bus JESUS FUCKING YAWN car starts thank god crash into bed at 1:30 ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

10 days of climbing, and a really cool new area explored (what it is all about), I feel pretty...
...chuffed

Climbing: The 6c arete was very cool. I got a bit bored of how purely random the slabs were by this point.

Wildlife: Nowt.

And: Tired.

La Pedriza 9.

2011-04-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Today's kitty of the day is....small ginger and white (cute despite gammy eye).

Today we couldn't get into the damn Pedriza park. At the main entrance there was the usual gridlock queue (surely mostly walkers....if you're that keen on walking then just park up and fucking WALK you dickwads and let the climbers get in to climb....this applies to Llanberis and Burbage and everywhere else in the world too), and the village entrance was barricaded by police FFS. So we spun round and headed back to the lime and explored a different valley crag that was thrumming with other climbers but seemed to have enough easy routes to soak up the ceaseless tide of punterdom (us included). We pulled on plentiful pockets and rattled off several shady routes which made for a good back-up day. Tomorrow an early rise, a hope that the devoutly religious Spaniards keep away, and a swift morning slabbing it up before a long drive to a late flight...

Climbing: Lots of steady pockety routes, fun but not much that really left it's mark apart from a cool little roof with awkward jamming in it (that the locals seem to avoid by a much harder duo pocket lock).

Wildlife: Camping kitty #12 - small, black and scruff (kinda cute, funny stare, pissed all over the hire car), and that's about it.

And: 8th day on and still syked, I was keen to push it more this afternoon if there had been anything else inspiring. Mmmm climbing is good yes.

La Pedriza 8.

2011-04-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today's kitty of the day is small mongrel (annoying and hissy). A controversial choice but she is such a regular feature that it seems fair.

Let's play a game. Grab a blank granite slab, a pair of rock shoes, and a dice. Yes, a dice, you know, standard D6 that you roll to see if your Orcs hit with their axes or your Space Marine was saved by his armour. Got that? Good.

Pick a smear. Take your time if you like, there are many to choose from, but be aware there will be subtleties and factors you have no idea of that will randomise your choice. Now, roll your dice....you don't get to see the result, but you will feel it's effect:

1 - 3 : Your foot sticks.

4 : Your foot just sticks but has set you off balance, add +1 to your next roll.

5 - 6+ : Your foot slips and you fall off.

Now, assuming the result was 1 - 4 and you stayed on, pick another smear, and roll again (maybe with that +1 modifier you're not aware of), and again. And again. And again and again and again.

THIS is Pedriza. This is what we face on the slabs.

Climbing: 4 slab routes, including my first F6b+ (which was very good), but 3 failures on F6b/+s. The game of chance....bad luck to fall and fail, good luck to stick and succeed....roll the dice. Plus rounded off with a few minor but fun steep routes at a roadside crag. Good overall!

Wildlife: The usual motley crue with no change and no new kitties.

And: Despite wearing a t-shirt (or perhaps because of, since it was my hideous yellow Fiend t-shirt), I have more sunburn and have just eaten my own bodyweight in a very garlicky potato stew. Good luck me sleeping tonight :S

La Pedriza 7.

2011-04-07T10:16:00.001-07:00

Today's kitty of the day is....large ginger (cross, ugly, and a personal favourite). A last minute winner with good reason I'm sure you'll agree.

Lime lime glorious lime. Well it is glorious out here rather than the blocky blotchy ugly polished choss that people climb back home. Chee Dale I ask you?? Honestly. Ponton D'Oliva is where it's at. It is actually a really good crag of very typical Euro-lime with lots of routes. And lots of pockets. I've pulled on so many today I've lost count and lost enough skin around my knuckles....but kept my tips nice and fresh for more granite horrors tomorrow. As well as good climbing there was good climbing dog action: Primo was my favourite as he had the optimum balance of chilled out most of the time but utterly daft and giddy once you stroked him:

But also this unnamed perro was a winner for cute faces (admittedly mostly when trying to scavenge queso y chorizo).

Talking of chorizo, I have some for supper, and I
chorizo :)

Climbing: 6 very fine routes, including a trio of good F6cs with thuggy starts and delectable finishes. Felt more like proper grades and proper climbing. Tired by the end! Back to slabs tomorrow to get spanked like the bitch that I am.

Wildlife: Kitties #9 to #11 - large ginger (cross, ugly, and a personal favourite), small black two (only one eye but a cute miaow), medium tortoise shell (actually looks like a proper cat rather than a scruffy mongrel). Plus loads of good crag dogs. Muy bueno perros! Or something like that.

And: 6th day on, still syked. Forecast still good...

La Pedriza 6

2011-04-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today's kitty of the day is....small ginger (cute).

Today was a day of Anger and Lust. We were back on the slabs to rest our arms and trash our feet, and to continue trying to get to grips with this elusive slippery sneaky sandbag style. We found a shady slab, albeit not by finding the correct path to it, the usual boulder-bash being both an adequate warm-up and the redpoint crux of the day. We rattled off a few "easy" ones in swift succession, and one of them actually felt "easy". Possibly only a short grade undergraded. The Anger came next when I got on what could be the slab highlight of the trip, a mighty F6b+. Having done a few cruxy moves and generally on easier ground, I slipped off one poxy F6a+ move to finish. What a DICK.

Cue quickdraw and shoe hurling and a substantial stream of tourettes. As infuriating as this was, the general feasibility opened up the possibility of breaking the seemingly impenetrable F6b barrier. So I tried a F6c, did the crux moves of that (English 6b?) and then slipped off a slopey pull higher up, mostly due to warm conditions. It seems as the grade increases, the level of sandbagging decreases. Possibly. It also seems the conditions play as serious a role as they should - a couple of locals confirmed that "winter yes is the time for best climbing". Woot. Might have to come back. Not least because the Lust is there....finishing with a skin-of-teeth F6b, I felt a strangely alluring balance between the holdless horror of it all, and the zen-like zone of faith in friction. There is a seduction in these sheer slabs, a dark sensuality, a game of chance where one must seek calm in a hidden storm...

I rounded off the day with a dip in a snow-melt mountain river, mmm refreshing, an a huge tapas feast at a local bar. We could see the bar staff gazing and smirking at us when we'd clearly ordered too much and mountains of food kept coming, but they were all friendly handshakes and adioses and graciases when we paid the bill ;).

Climbing: Slabs slabs slabs slabs. 4 routes and a few more attempts....but it was supposed to be a sort of rest day....

Wildlife: The usual birdlife, camping kitty #8 - small, black (cute but limping), and lots of lizards today too.

And: Thanks to the hordes of people attempting to ID the mysterious heron-like things from my inept and vague descriptions, and congratulations to sidewinder who IDed them as White Storks. Here is a picture of a White Stork:

La Pedriza 5.

2011-04-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is what we have to wake up to:

Gosh I am tired. Today we combined the steepness of limestone-style climbing with the texture of granite-style climbing and with a walk-in specifically designed to fuck my shit up. We headed to the mini-summit of Cancho De Los Muertos in search of steep shady granite walls, lo, after a "stop and rest every 2 mins" death-slog, we found what was promised.

The view from Cancho De Los Muertos:

Cancho De Los Muertos from the view:

The Cancho is rather fine place indeed, with sheer buttresses forming a summit crossroads micro-plateau, each way out leading to a different spectacular compass viewpoint, and some ways out leading to cool little climbing canyons. We did a lot in the main one of these, relishing in the shade, sliver of sun, and occasional fresh breeze....and relishing in steep granite climbing WITH HOLDS. Yes, actual holds. That one can pull on and all! The only slight detriment being that some of them were quite small and most of them required quite a bit of pulling, so the skin has suffered. A night of marinating in anti-hydral cream and a day of "gentle slabs" calls. Eeeek!

Climbing: 7 good, satisfying routes, 6 short and intense steep things, one so-called easy slab to "warm down".

Wildlife: All the usual suspect, plus one bonus ginger and white cat (seemed quite placid lying on a wall, so I threw chorizo at it). Still don't know what the bloody red beaked heron things are.

And: 0% San Miguel. The connoisseur's choice. And by "connoisseur" I mean "idiot".

La Pedriza 4.

2011-04-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Today it has not been raining. Instead, this was the sky at lunchtime:

Which was nice. There was a rather late start due to a somewhat cloudier forecast, and a pleasant breakfast fending off innumerably shy yet greedy kitties. Then, rather than slogging into La Pedriza with uncertainty as to what would dry, we went back to the limestone we recced yesterday. This proved to be a more than adequate choice with a vast amount of quickly drying routes set in a plush valley with a harmonious combination of natural beauty and minor manmade spectacle.

After 5 fun and mostly undergraded routes starting off a convenient walkway (somewhat more substantial than El Camino Del Rey), we had lunch and took stock of the situation. Despite the 11am departure, it was still only 3:30pm! Well there was only one sensible option, so we headed around to the other side, recced some now-baking routes for another day, and finished off with a blast of steep pocket pulling. The sides of my fingers are now trashed but my tips should be ready for more granite tomorrow...

This is not the approach path I am looking for...

Climbing: Lots. I thought the limestone was going to be a second-best rest/rainy day option compared to the granite, but it's pretty swish in it's own right.

Wildlife: The following cats that attempted to raid/scavenge our bungalow: big and black (mean looking), black and white (bland), big and white/ginger and fluffy (king cat, must overheat here), small ginger (cutest), small mongrel (annoying and hissy and not getting any more food), other small mongrel (also cute)

And: Fucking crickets. Like a constant ray gun fire alarm rave outside. Why can't the kitties eat them??

La Pedriza 3.

2011-04-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

It is raining. This is bad, but not as bad as it could be. Firstly, our bungalow. This is a cramped, over-priced, uninsulated, wobbly box with fake wood plastic walls, loose sliding doors, a poxy micro-hob, and a bathroom sink unit that leaks and comes away from the wall. It is also - assuming one isn't using that sink - apparently completely watertight, and potentially warm. I knew with the non-100%-guaranteed dry climate that there was a good reason to get a bungalow rather than camp, and tonight's relative comfort and general relaxation makes the extortionate extra Euros and hours spent trying to find a suitable box worthwhile.

Secondly, the overall forecast. It was supposed to rain all day today, but it didn't start until 2:20. At 2:18 I started up a typical sketchy slab route, at 2:25 I lowered off the top just as it was getting problematic. We had preceded this by a couple of longer, easier angled, and smearier pitches. The usual deal but with slightly less bolts. Halfway up the first route I led I was feeling queasy due to the constant tentativeness of it all, by the top I was revelling in the sheer nonsense. So a planned wash-out day turned into actually getting into the park on a Sunday, a bit of walking, a bit of climbing, and then an afternoon vaguelly recceing some pretty nifty looking limestone areas. The forecast is okay tomorrow but the rock might need some drying time, then glorious for the rest of the week. Possibly too glorious with lots of sun and little wind, so we might need to hit the limestone as shelter from the sun (and slabs!) rather than shelter from the rain.

Climbing: One slab with less angle and less holds (was this possible? apparently so), one slab with more angle and more holds, mostly pointing in awkward directions. Fun!

Wildlife: Still more heron-like things, we still don't know what they are. 3 crag dogs one of which apparently would prefer chorizo rather than the stick I offered him. Not a chance.

And: Might be time for my first shower since Friday morning (too scared with sunburn last night). Mmmm hmmm.

La Pedriza 2.

2011-04-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

Today it all began: The granite....the slabs....the bolts....the friction....the holds.

The holds??

HOLDS??

There weren't any fucking holds.

The day started somewhat tiresomely with circuitous driving around the local town Manzaneres El Real in search of parking, food, parking, access to La Pedriza national park, parking, and more parking. It seems most of Madrid comes here at the weekend, and you can see why - truly spectacular amounts of undulating, slabby, bulging and layered granite, interspersed by limitless boulders. However the popularity ensures vehicular access is a faff, and even once parked, the deceptive scope ensures ambulatory access is somewhat tiresome if your legs don't work. However the scale of the rock with it's uniform texture is also deceptive, and we reached an appealing slab in reasonable order. A wise choice it seems, due to the "easy" grades and in this case plethoric bolting.

Hmmm yes the grades. There were rumours that the climbing was desperate for the grade, that is one correct way of putting it, another equally correct way is that the grades are complete shite. Either Costa Blanca / El Chorro / Costa Daurada / Siurana / Ceuse / Buoux etc etc are wrong....or Pedriza is. It's not rocket science, everything is simply undergraded by at least one, usually two grades. Oh wait, "It's friction slab climbing, you just aren't used to it yet". Bag of COCKS. I've done enough slabs and friction slabs to know. You don't get San Melas or Chalkstorm given E1 5a do you?? Exactly.

Anyway it's blank, it's desperate, it's tenuous....but it's really rather cool. A whole day of pure and proper slabs. There is a lot more where that came from, in fact rather too much, so we will be seeking the all important variety, to give the feet and mind a rest!

Climbing: Smear smear smear smear feet on nothing smear hands on crystals and be unduly grateful when you get a massive 1cm wide micro-nipple that enables you to get up a F6a after 20m of relentless English 5c slab climbing.

Wildlife: Two wild goats, two horses, lots of cool heron-like things in big nests by the road, and loads of griffon vultures....had seen these years ago in the Verdon and they are spectacular, 1m long, 2.5m wingspan, when they fly overhead it's like the shadow from an airplane.

And: Sunburn, yoiks!

La Pedriza 1.

2011-04-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

So I am away in Spain again. A long overdue trip to Pedriza, the well reputed home of terrifying granite sport climbing. It was a toss-up between this and Annot, the increasingly reputed home of sandstone....stuff. Being able to actually buy a Pedriza guidebook (a novel concept that the Annot book writers should perhaps consider) was the deciding factor. So Pedriza it was, but the associated faffing and procrastination has forced a somewhat lengthy journey. Glasgow (wet) > Prestwick (boring) > Alicante (relaxed flight dozing next to two perfectly sulky teenage girls) > 5 hour drive to La Candreda (LONG, but actually went fairly smooth and beta-flashed bypassing Madrid).

Of course since it was dry and sunny and daylight, it would have been particularly ungracious to not stop off for climbing en-route. To ensure a reasonable arrival out our campsite cabin, I picked a nice bulging pockety limestone crag 5 mins down the motorway. A quick stroll in, and so much for a reward for our dedication, almost all the crag, including by far the best bits, was seriously flooded by risen lake levels. The flat grassy base was now 2m of water, so we had to dick around on a poxy upper tier before establishing bungalow basecamp and some much needed crashing out for the night.

Climbing: A few short steep easy routes at by far the worst crag I've climbed at in Europe. Still it loosened the muscles after a long journey.

Wildlife: A small turtle, a giant fish, and a cute, daft, giddy Rottweiler puppy with big paws.

And: A bottle of 7.3% beer on an empty stomach after a full day's travelling washed away all the stresses. And any sort of coherence.

Transition.

2011-03-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

With the disappearance of that sneaky little hour, the season is gradually and inexorably dragging itself from winter towards spring, somewhat lubricated on it's difficult journey by adequate amounts of water falling from the sky. To escape this I am off abroad for a week, and upon my return I suspect there will feel like a distinct transition from winter clag to spring soakings.

Thus a transition in my climbing, plans, desires, inspiration and instinct. I felt this last weekend at Bowden and Callerhues. Despite conditions still feeling adequate for bouldering, there was something in the air that catalysed my urges towards TRAD. Obviously urges that remain unsatisfied on a Lads' Bouldering Weekend, but ones that will no doubt remain for forthcoming months. This is expected, and suitable, despite the usual anticipated battle with the weather - the latter of course will dictate where to begin, but counting in the County as well as all the Scottish options, there should be much to look forward to.

Sandy Syke.

2011-03-28T08:24:00.001-07:00

I was down in Northumberland this weekend to maintain my unblemished attendance record at the Official Lads Bouldering Weekends, in this case number 4. Slightly bleak Bowden, painful Kyloe, the cheap and cheerful Bluebell Bunkhouse, and cool Callerhues. As often the case with these events, I rarely do that much serious bouldering unless I go off on my own and play around a bit. I find the large team logistics gets in the way of actually focusing on climbing, and for me to push my bouldering I usually need a fair bit of focus and plenty of peace. However the large team logistics (lots of pads and encouragement) does have it's benefits for highballs, and Sunday was fun taking advantage of that at Callerhues (I missed out on one good highball at Bowden which was a pity).

Apart from the social side and relentless banter, what was most rewarding about this weekend was checking out a few more trad lines and the entire trad crag at Callerhues. I'd been there before years ago but hadn't really grasped much other than Callerhues Crack was nice and soft and most other things were desperate. This has been well and worthily corrected in the Rockfax guide with plenty of routes going up by two full grades into the realistic realms of actual accuracy. Combining this improved information with a diligent look at potential possibilities has exponentially expanded my ticklist which is now:

Weeping Fingers E2 5c *** - classic flake line, looks fine.
Tossing A Wobbler E3 5c * - cool looking rugosities with a wee runout.
Twin Hats E3 5c * - looks cool but also tricky.
Ned Kelly E3 5c ** - looks cool but also powerful.
Rice Krispies E4 5c * - nice looking wall, loads of gear, might be worth it's old E3 grade.
Toshiba Receiver E4 5c ** - also nice looking, bolder but still gear potential.
Green Fluff E4 6b * - solo and very funky looking.
Micro E3 5c - no stars but still looks nice, decent pro.
The Lurcher E3 5c * - maybe solo and a nice feature.
Hyena E2 5c * - looks a nice wall thing.

Hmmm might need more than just one visit there ;)

Clash crush.

2011-03-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Just had a rather fun long weekend sampling the diversity that Scotland in late winter has to offer: Great day skiing on full snow cover at Glenshee, good afternoon bouldering in very fresh conditions at Clashfarquar, and a fun afternoon doing trad at Limekilns. Clash was the main point of interest for me, I was very specifically focused on trying to climb Clash Arete, possibly the best line in the best setting in the whole of Aberdeen. And thus:

I'd been completely shut down on this before when Lyons, bRad and I were trying it. It looks....kinda feasible as there are a lot of holds and stuff and they mostly point in the right direction. But it is steep, with minimal footholds and sharp handholds - pain resistance becomes as important as power reserves. This is the hardest problem I've done in a year and I wanted to do it right....

The boulder platform is very convenient, but the approach is tidal. I decided it would be best to be trapped outside than inside, so got there early afternoon at high tide, knowing I would have all afternoon once I could get across. Lo and behold there was a group of climbers who had indeed got trapped inside. So we sat and waited on opposite sides of the tidal bay, in a stalemate, waiting for someone to crack and start wading. Eventually the platform was accessible, they slid out, I slid in, and started a nice peaceful session.

I'm pleased with my tactics for this. I warmed up with a grip strengthener and didn't waste any skin on other problems. I started playing on the moves knowing they would feel desperate and knowing that I would gradually unlock them with patience. I kept playing around in short attempts and resting my skin in between. As soon as I worked out a move, I moved onto the next one to keep the whole puzzle going. And as soon as I worked out all the moves - with a possibly unconventional sequence - I got up, walked away, and strolled around the platform to let my mind and body settle.

On my return, I floundered on the started a few times, then managed to udge my way up, slapped, ignored how much sketchier the moves felt in the sequence than in isolation, hung on tight, and crushed it, happy with a cool problem and happy with some good tactics.

Rainy day stuff.

2011-03-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

Yup after a not-too-brief respite, the rain is back. Hopefully it will be bringing some snow onto the mountains to extend to the somewhat tapering out ski season - I've only had one slushy day at Glen Coe this year - but in the meantime it is shutting down the continuation of the recent good climbing I have been enjoying.

So I have retreated to my plethoric collection of geeky indoor activities. Actually I should be retreating to more GYM, more CAMPUSSING and more LEADING/FALLING PRACTICE. But I'm kinda having a week off that because I'm being fucking lazy. Instead in recent times I have been indulging myself with:

Models:
Have had a wee urge to paint recently and completed a couple of figures....old figures. Have a few more in progress but am generally very lazy about painting so these will do for now:

(Not to relative scale - click for more normal size!)

Music:
Although I'm back on the DRUMS and the BASS at the moment, I had a splurge on some metal recently which was very pleasing to my ears....but less pleasing to those of my friend Wendy who came out with the awesome quote:

"YUCK!!! i had to turn that off after 30 seconds, thats SHITE!! LMAO thats what u listen to? have you not killed enough brain cells?"

Yes it is what I listen to. Yes I genuinely REALLY like it. Yes I feel the same way as your quote about pop music. So the following CDs have been recent favourites...

Behemoth - The Apostasy & Zos Kia Cultus

Burzum - Belus

Gorefest - La Muerte

Immortal - All Shall Fall

Kataklysm - Prevail

Games:
I've finally got around to using my new (in October 2010) computer to it's full potential. As well as the usual Starcraft 2 (very good, very refinded indeed) shenanigans with my buddies VULTURE and DRAKE, I've got back into quality FPSes...

Bioshock - Excellent, a very distinctive and intruiging take on the FPS genre. Strong atmosphere, rich background, some emotional involvement and many interesting combat options.

Crysis - Superb, great graphics and great gameplay, the latter was refreshing after COD4. The nanosuit gives you many options and makes you feel in charge of your own gameplay destiny.

Call Of Duty 4 - (aka Modern Warfare) Pretty good but obviously overrated as a typical "crowd pleaser". Great looks and atmosphere and some strong scenes, but average gameplay, twitchy story, and too much war/weapon porn.

Next up will be: Thief 3, Far Cry 2, then maybe Crysis Warhead, Bioshock 2, and I might end up buying Singularity, COD5, Bulletstorm, Dead Space 2.....hmmm actually maybe the weather will improve and I will sack it all off ;)

Risk Quotient at Ratho Quarry.

2011-03-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

Turned out to be higher than I expected... A fresh morning, a strong breeze, rain in the west but dry in the East, a keen partner passing through, a few hours to rattle off a couple of routes. The right ingredients for a sensible plan....but there are some factors outside the realm of planning, or even sense.

I started up a cool little arete route. Steady climbing with a bit of gear to a ledge at 9m, some more gear there, then 6m of classic arete laybacking to easy ground. Good for cool conditions, good to start on as there was a rest ledge to recoup.

So I tickled up the lower wall, and grappled the ledge. It was reassuring, a nice crack down the back for hands and protection. Cool. I yarded up and started to mantle. The ledge - a double pillow-size sheet of rock - started to peel away from the wall.

THE FUCKING LEDGE IS PEELING AWAY FROM THE WALL...!

I somehow dropped down without agitating it further, it somehow teetered back onto it's resting posture. I have no idea how....but I do know if it and me had come off, it would have badly injured me and could have fatally injured my belayer (who was in the standard pose, with helmet). GULP.

I outwitted the ledge mantle, stood on it (which was fine, pressing down), put some RPs in a seam, tip-toed up the upper arete, finished the route, abbed down, did a nice sport route, and left just as it started to rain. A good morning. I think. ???

Rather beautiful at the Ruthven Boulder.

2011-03-07T07:10:00.000-08:00

Approaching Ruthven...

Another weekend, another damp-in-the-west-dry-in-the-east forecast, another visit to Aberdeen with some bouldering en route. After last summer's somewhat painful attempt, I returned to the Ruthven Boulder in much nicer conditions, and discovered that yes indeed the skin-murdering texture is about the only flaw with this monolithic beast of bouldering goodness. Another chap was passing through and we teamed up for a good syke-filled session...

With my skin just on the tolerable side of critically abraded, I embarked on the long slog across the A96 to Aberdeen, via collecting a well earned and long overdue bottle of Singleton from Dufftown, a favourite smooth and sweet single malt with a distictive dried fruit palate and a spicey finish. Thence followed the usual good hospitality of various Aberdeen friends, a day of trad at Red Wall, an eye-rollingly frustrating replacement of two wrecked tyres from a completely hidden chicane, and an afternoon of bouldering at Portlethen as it was too breezy for coastal trad. A pretty good weekend and while my skin is ready for a rest, my mind is vaguely keen to ramp things up a bit on the trad action...

P.S. Blogspot is still screwing up the fonts for me, but since no-one has said anything, I guess it's fine for other people, which is okay.

Recent stuff.

2011-03-03T07:00:00.001-08:00

Bleh, forgot to blog. The weather has been merciful recently so I've done some climbing. Yay for climbing. Bouldering at Clashfarquar and Loch Sloy, trad at Cummingston. Here's some stuff...

P.S. Blogspot seems to keep randomly changing font faces and/or sizes on my blog. Can you please post if it's doing the same for you, ta. Or if you know a fix! double ta!

Techy.

2011-02-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

Given the season - the cold-weather-short-days-winter-sun-crisp-friction-bouldering-strength-season when its at it's rare best - I find myself fancying techy gritstone-esque routes. Short, technical, thought-provoking, bold, bouldery. The sort of routes where you boulder around for an hour, emerge steaming from your duvet jacket cocoon, place two bits of gear, stand around getting a bit nervous, and execute some delicate funky moves just before your hands go numb. The sort of routes that gritstone does perfectly, but are rarities in Scotland. Rarities, but not entirely absent. It just takes some cunning and planning to find them. This is a current list (with good mid-grade options) I'm pondering on:

Lowland Outcrops (E.g. most places of little consequence) - The standard easily-jaded Local Climbing blah but with some interesting places scattered around.

Trossachs/Arrochar (E.g. Glen Croe, Loch Sloy, Glen Ogle, Glen Lednock) - Often a bit on the steep side but some good slabs and shorter routes that are suitable.

Glen Nevis (E.g. Roadside, Blacks, Wave etc) - Living in the shadow of errr Ben Nevis this is very weather specific, but some of the more accessible crags have the right style of climbing.

Mull (E.g. Scoor, Erraid) - Still not been alas, but the photos of short granite and schist outcrops definitely look right.

Gairloch (E.g. Mungrisdale, Gruinard Crags, Stone Valley, Loch Tollaidh, Diabeg) - Some of the best crags are a bit northerly facing, but there's a wide choice that fit the bill.

Reiff (E.g. Ardmair, Stone Pig, Pinnacle, Seal Song) - Despite the rock quality Reiff is not THAT good as it's so well featured that most harder routes tend to be thugfests rather than techfests.

Aberdeen North (E.g. Ballater, Red Wall, Round Tower etc) - Pretty good as can be pretty technically intense and good in cooler weather.

Aberdeen South (E.g. Long Slough, Harbour Wall, Floors Craig etc) - Generally a bit too steep and strenuous (i.e. very), but some potential.

Northumberland (E.g. Everywhere) - what more needs to be said? Gritstone with more holds and less hordes.

P.S. It's still wet and shit out there, BTW.

Soggy syke.

2011-02-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

Syke ebbs and flows. Mine is flowing (?) at the moment. I am syked to get out on the rock and CLIMB. Bouldering, trad, sport, circuits, projects, mileage, new areas, testpieces, whatever. I just feel the love and desire for the pleasure of touching, pulling, and moving over rock.

Naturally this is coinciding with a period of prolonged dampness. I don't think anything has been reliably dry for nearly two weeks now. At this time of year - as with any time of year in the UK - this is "normal". Blech. Also at this time of year there is a little leeway - a small drizzle shower can ruin a whole day, whilst in summer things might dry out. Or might not. Suffice to say I can't put my syke to good use at the moment.

No doubt the weather will turn crisp or sunny or fresh and breezy and then I'll somehow be syked to paint toy soldiers and listen to death metal instead. But just in case I can put my syke to delayed-good use. I've been doing a little bit of training at Ratho, a crude mixture of routes, falling practise, steep ground, bouldering circuits and beastmakering. Not very focused, but my current relevant weaknesses are not very specific - mostly fitness (trainable at gym etc) and lock off / pulling power (trainable at wall but less relevant to outside desires). Keeping reasonably climbing fit and ticking over will do.

Bumbling at Bowden.

2011-02-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

Made a last minute plan to visit The County on a free day with a decent forecast. Decent as in sun, cool temps, light breeze - but also after a previous day's rain, so some caution was needed. I first checked out the exposed and sunny Goat Crag, which I've only done one easy route at. It was pretty dry and the plethora of considerably less easy routes looked rather inspiring, but I felt a bit underprepared for the diverse sandstone battles. So off it was to the definitive classic and fairly honeypot Bowden Doors, where I again recced some harder inspirations, and eventually met a dude for some routes. However it was feeling a bit nervy on some sandyish top-outs, so we retreated to an easy bouldering circuit, which was fun....and also turned out to be a bit nervy on the shallow bog solo of Child's Play F6b S1!

2011.Summary

2011-02-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

Thusly I determine the main things I need to work on and DO are:

1. Keep in touch with climbing partners regularly, promptly, and positively.

2. Prioritise plans for the most inspiring areas with like-minded partners.

3. Plan more proactively but flexibly in advance rather and last minute.

4. Get started on days out earlier to make best use of time.

5. Keep fitness training and make it a regular habit.

6. Keep eating a decent diet with small portions, less junk, more water.

7. Train stamina, finger strength, finger power, dynamism and endurance at walls.

8. Falling practise, falling practise, falling practise, falling practise.

9. Work on route reading and gear placing outdoors.

10. Stack odds in my favour with suitable weather conditions.

If I don't, keep reminding me and beat it into me until I habitually live like this to make my climbing lifestyle more pleasurable and personally rewarding!!

2011.4

2011-02-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

8. Climb a few F7a+s.

Some inspiring and challenging sport routes to aim for, and what I might need to do / improve / be prepared for.

I expect some of these will be particularly challenging given the stamina, fitness, and strength required, and in particular the luck required with onsighting harder sport. Nevertheless the choice and general quality of these routes gives me plenty to go at, and if I feel fit enough then they will be worth a try.

General requirements: Falling practise, stamina, falling practise, fitness, falling practise, route reading on varied rock, falling practise, falling practise.

Persistence Of Vision, Dumby - needs: very cold and dry conditions, someone to give it a brush first, finger strength, basalt technique, falling practise.

High Pitched Weem, Weem - needs: finger / crimp / deadhanging strength, fitness and stamina, 30 degree training, climbing speed.

Screaming Weem, Weem - needs: as above.

Grand Theft Auto, Rob's Reed - needs: fitness and stamina, good conditions, training on bad holds.

Sun City, Cambus O May - needs: dry breezy weather, crimp strength, fitness and stamina, dynamism, careful footwork training.

Sticks And Stones, Cambus O May - needs: as above.

Paralysis By Analysis, The Camel - needs: route reading, stamina, route reading, stamina, more stamina, decent conditions, climbing speed.

Mactallah, Goat Crag - needs: cool weather, stamina, strength, route reading.

Yosemite Wall, Malham - needs: cool weather, stamina, strength, footwork on polished holds.

Appetite, Malham - needs: as above.

Plus lots of supporting F7as at Chapel Head Scar etc etc.

Real winter sun at Red Wall seacliffs.

2011-02-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend I visited the third in the triptych of welcoming Aberdonian climbing couples I know. This was all rather pleasant: bRad, Amelia, Atlas (above) and Dido hosted me graciously and we went out climbing. Well, the people, not the cats. Although the cats could have done a better job than I did on Sunday. But first, Saturday. Winter sun, good East Coast weather (escaping the deluge in the West), and bird-free pink granite. These are other good reasons to visit Aberdeen climbing, and why I intend to do more of it this winter season. On Saturday we visited Red Wall, and lo it is RED and a WALL. It also doesn't have any shortcuts to the base of the crag apart from abseiling, certainly not wandering through the intriguing sport climbing quarry, and wondering how appealing a swim would be if we attempted the green bulging sea-traverse to the base. Eventually we established base camp - via abseil - and rattled off a few routes. Despite the short day, false start approach, late arrival of myself from Edinburger, and climbing as a team of 3, we still managed 4 good routes albeit with the second and third following the last route in something between dusk and pitch dark. I didn't tackle anything major - I have a general syke to do so but am cautious of the conditions and Aberdonian sea-cliffs in general - but did a couple of fun routes.

Sunday initially promised sun. Then mist. Then torrential rain. Then sun again. Eventually it settled on one of the few things that wasn't forecast - light cloud and cool grey temps. We had a look at the dramatic and photogenic Round Tower but alas despite no rain and little seepage, it was damper than a squid's snatch. The infamous coastal clag in full effect. Without sun and breeze and indeed any margin for error at this time of year, options were limited to sensible retreat, but it was a good recce for the future. Thusly we ended up at Transition wall, where I transitioned from someone giving a vague impression of climbing competence, to an inept bumbling blob of punterdom. I was fat and weak in ways which are hard to describe and impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Anything which required a modicum of arm strength rather than crimping or compression left me beaten, battered, and belligerent. Oh and my skin was utter rubbish too. All rather perturbing, but it turned out to be a good workout, I suppose. God knows I need one!

2011.3

2011-02-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

7. Climb a few E5s.

Some inspiring and challenging trad routes to aim for, and what I might need to do / improve / be prepared for.

It is worth noting that having had a good look at almost all of these, I am SYKED ;) Inspiration >>> challenge >>>> grade.

Nijinski, Auchinstarry - needs: very cool dry conditions, practise with friction/slab/arete climbing.

Purrblind Doomster, Cambusbarron - needs: dry breezy weather, practise finger jamming, speed and precision with gear, falling practise.

Anger Management, Cambusbarron - needs: dry breezy weather, bouldering power for start, fitness, good gear planning.

On The Beach, Polldubh - needs: morning shade, good route reading, fitness for first crack, mental stamina.

Freddie Across The Mersey, Polldubh - needs: similar to above.

Triode, Polldubh - needs: cool breezy day, even better route reading, practise on slabs and bad holds.

Colder Than A Hooker's Heart, Creag Dubh - needs: good technique, schist-familiarity, deadhanging / crimping strength, fitness.

The Final Solution, Creag Dubh - needs: overall fitness and stamina, deadhanging / crimping strength, rapid gear finding.

Smith's Arete, Ballater - needs: cool fresh conditions, bouldering / arete practise, short term power endurance, flexibility, quick gear placing.

Neart Nan Gaidheal, Ardmair - needs: fitness and stamina, quick and careful gear placing, falling practise.

Spirit Air, Loch Maree Crag - needs: lots of fitness and stamina, route reading, crimp strength, mental stamina, good weather.

2011.2

2011-02-03T01:00:00.001-08:00

Exploration plans, ideas and inspirations to work on.

I've seen him live at the Cold Meat Industry festival years ago. Pretty cool stuff, although better as bedtime listening music.

Last year I did pretty well with exploring cool places, although was hampered by the Scottish weather, some disorganisation, and a shocking amount of faff that prevented a summer trip. This year I want to get MORE ORGANISED. I have a better idea of when I can go places, a better network of climbing partners, and a pleasingly decreasing list of Scottish venues. Thus...

2. Get to somewhere interesting over Easter (Pedriza? Alscace?), and over summer (Scandinavia? South Africa? Hatun Machay?). - needs: plan in advance, find similarly motivated partners, investigate areas fully (including travel, accomodation, car hire, guidebooks, weather options etc), book soon to make firm committments and keep costs down.

3. Week long trip to Lewis, several days sea-cliffing in Skye, long weekend in Caithness, long weekend in Mull over winter/spring. - needs: plan trips firmly but flexibly with similarly motivated partners, make such plans a priority over lesser plans, have all the relevant information to keep the costs low.

4. Get to Merionydd & Lleyn when weather is bolleaux in Scotland. - needs: keep in touch with suitable climbing partners near those areas, keep checking the weather there, make such plans a priority over "normal" Scottish areas.

5. Keep exploring cool places in Scotland. - needs: keep in touch with similarly motivated partners, make positive plans, take advantage of any weather windows, have good plan Bs.

6. Explore more bouldering over winter: Torridon, Reiff, Skye, Mull, Inverness, Aberdeen, Trossachs, Northumberland, Carrock Fell, Gouther, St Bees. - needs: early starts not to waste petrol, sensible planning with training and skin conditions, knowledge of where to stay for multi-day trips.

2011.1

2011-02-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

General climbing related issues to work on and improve.

As always the main challenges with climbing - not just my climbing, almost anyone's climbing - apart from the utterly crucial personal psychology are WEATHER and PEOPLE (I still aspire to join the ranks of those very fortunate people who have a good local scene of similarly-syked partners...). For me there is the additional challenge of FITNESS which has been an uphill battle since DVTs preventing some simple exercises. Weather is both uncontrollable and malicious (ah, if only it was just one of those!), so can only be worked around with knowledge, readiness and flexibility. The others can be worked on directly...

1. Keep in touch with friends and partners better and organise myself more proactively. - needs: reply promptly to partners in whatever media and don't put off emails, always reply even when unavailable, accept invites if I'm free just for the social side (if suitable), try plans with regular partners I already know before asking on UKC, try to be a good partner myself, make plans in advance with the option to change them rather then leaving them until the last minute.

9. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall. - needs: get in routine of exercise, make it logistically convenient to fit into life, use workouts that are beneficial but easy to be motivated for, try to do gym work that compliments wall work and pool work and vice versa, go with current inclinations rather than worrying about specifics (better to go and do a sub-optimal workout than not go at all), stretch regularly after showers, download more ruff and rude drum and bass MP3 mixes...

10. Lose 1 stone via the above. - needs: watch diet - eat smaller portions, be aware of and avoid overeating, avoid fatty convenience food, maximise enjoyment of healthier foods, drink lots of water, make exercise and healthy eating part of routine.

Maltesed

2011-01-23T07:02:00.001-08:00

So I am back. It was a great trip. Greatness of note including:

9 days climbing in a row. I think that's the most in a row I've done, not hampered by pissy weather or gaylord gf climbing partners "waaah I need a rest day can we do something different for a change?!?" etc etc. I was still as SYKED as ever on the last day, still just loving the climbing. It was important that we kept mixing it up: steep routes, slabs, sport, trad, adventurous routes, rough rock, smooth rock. This kept it FRESH and FUNKY and kept motivation and inspiration high whilst alternating limbs and skin to allow things to heal. Scratches aside I felt invigorated rather than tired by the end of it. I'd be quite interested to base myself in a similarly dry and varied climbing area and see how many....WEEKS I could climb in a row :D.

Did I mention the weather?? OMFG. I'd forgotten what such dryness was like. The forecast kept predicting 20% chance of rain (itself not a huge worry with sunny quick drying crags), which invariably turned into 20% of light cloud of 80% chance of awesomeness. There was a grand total of 1 light shower and one thunderstorm, both overnight. Some good luck at last.

I think I did okay climbing. I kept a fair level of challenge although didn't push that hard, with only a handful of routes that made me go "woah, that was tough". By the end I was keen to ramp up the grade a bit, but there was still too much to explore. I guess I was actually doing pretty well as it was a trip during the "off-season" for trad....but I also think the rock often suited me well, with a good choice of reassuringly positive holds and pretty good gear when you got it (apart from the slabs, which just felt nice in general regardless). It's all good mileage anyway.

Malta was cool for the reasons mentioned before: exotic and intriguing yet fairly convenient and cheap, cool architecture and churches, nice coastlines, a manageable size, and entertainingly lawless driving - the latter I survived more by fitting well into it rather than taking suitable care ;).

Climbing-wise I'd definitely recommend it for a typical British climber. If you want to sit at the bottom of a mega-classic mega-chalked mega-polished 7c rotpunkt for a whole week, or want some epic dolomotic suffer-fests, then forget it. But if you want plentiful mid-grade trad, mixed and sport limestone with a good varied blend of steep accessible outcrops, proper slabs, and proper UK-style sea-cliff face climbing, all with a decent guidebook on a fun island with very good winter temperatures, then it's got to be worth a try.

Next up: Plans for April, plans for the year, Scottish bouldering, sun-trap trad, gym and general climbing training. Woohoo!

Malteser 10.

2011-01-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Today....we....climbed!! The last day: In a pleasingly circular crag choice we finished as we started, at Wieb Badu (I think it might be Wied Babu actually?). But instead of the somewhat average valley slabs, we sampled hot pumping sea-cliff action in the altogether more dramatic surrounds of the Blue Wall (grey coloured) and Red Wall (orange coloured). The former provided a fine committing trad climb in the calm shade, and the latter a fine long sport climb in the breezy sun...

...and a rather "traditional" big old corner as an escape route. The routes I led were class, but belaying on an expansive ledge in a cosy nook in the warm sun was perhaps the highlight. We rounded off the day and indeed the entire climbing week at the sunny side of W.B. where I pleasingly punctuated the trip not with a full stop but an exclamation mark, battling up a fine bulging crack we had "looked" at on the first day. 3 contrasting routes and a great finale.

All that remains is a quick dinner, the last bit of mad Maltese driving (regrettably, I'll miss it) to the airport, and braving the possible crux of flying home with Ryanair. Ciao!

Malteser 9.

2011-01-21T10:20:00.001-08:00

Today we climbed errr slabs and white pockety walls. Again. But this time on Gozo! Which is nice. A bit more scenic and a bit less manic than Malta. We got to see more of the island in an action-packed day. Got the ferry over, drove across to see the "Inland Sea" (more like Inland Puddle, but pretty) and the Azure Window...

...then found a cool roadside slab and did a couple of routes...

...then had a wandering circumnavigation of the scenic Citadel in Victoria, then drove back to M-thingy I-thingy X-thingy to finish with a couple of cool sport climbs and retrieving some misplaced trousers. Not the wrong trousers, more like the right trousers in the wrong place. Thence back on the ferry and back to the hostel by 7. Good stuff. 4 more good routes woohoo.

Malteser 8.

2011-01-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

Today we climbed slabs AND white pocketed walls. OMG the sheer insolence of it all. Two contrasting rocktypes in one brief winter day (well, afternoon - see below)?? Truly a cutting edge plan.

The day started as the previous day had, as we were guided on our tranquil journey towards awakeness by the soothing encouragement of A FUCKING CAR ALARM RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SODDING HOSTEL. Nevertheless a prompt start was underway, which became rapidly less prompt when we came out to a flat tyre. "No problem", I thought, "I'm a big strong MAN and will simply change this tyre for the spare and drive to a garage to fix the main tyre". Unfortunately this plan depended on the spare tyre not being flat too....2 minutes later we were sat by the side of the road awaiting Europcar tyre rescue... Eventually we got to the SLAB at Ix Xaqqa (I think I got this one right), where the sheets of smooth rock contrasted nicely with the rabbit-carcass-filled gully the route started from. A few routes were rattled off including the pointlessly retrobolted, overgraded, but jolly pleasant Motorpsycho. I sneered at the bolts, fiddled in some RPs, and it was still soft touch.

Spurning the bolts in true artificial risk elitist snobbery style ;)

Having ticked all worth ticking we rounded the evening off with a couple of funky white pocketed trad routes at some crag with lots of GHs, Is, and possibly Xs in the name. 4 good routes and good variety.

Malteser 7.

2011-01-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

Today we climbed white pocketed walls. We went over to Gozo and a crag called something vaguely like Mraargh Ix Xiari, Malta's deservedly premier sport crag. There seemed to be a lot of classic F6b+ white pocketed walls, so I just climbed classic F6b+ white pocketed walls. It made route choice pretty simple. Oh such routes....there was the one with the pockets....and the other one with the pockets....and the white one, that had a lot of pockets too. All jolly good fun and by far the most holes I've fingered in a day. We had grand plans to stay in Gozo and save travelling back and forth, but driving back and forth past the elusive hostel several times eventually revealed it was closed, so back on the ferry it was, and back in our regular basecamp at 7:30. Not bad at all. I think we will go back and explore a bit more of this subsidiary island. After all there's a couple more classic F6b+ white pocketed walls further down the valley...

Malteser 6.

2011-01-18T10:22:00.000-08:00

Today we climbed jugs and pockets and overhangs. The day started well when we were gentle eased from our slumber by the peaceful lullaby of A PNEUMATIC FUCKING DRILL RIGHT OUTSIDE THE HOSTEL. I lay there dozing to this for some time - I think I've listened too many industrial noise CDs. The sluggish start was compounded by the after effects of the 2nd Maltese food tick last night - Pastizzis, oily and semi-tasty gunk filled pastries. I suspect one has one or two as a snack or starter, rather than 5 of them as dinner along with a big wodge of pizza. So it took a while to roll my lardy arse out of the scratchy bedsheets this morning. Eventually some momentum was gained towards Fomm Ir Rih, and we started at the Lush Boulder which was as steep as yesterday was slabby...

What's wrong with this photo?? Oh yeah, the prospect of placing trad gear at this angle.

A couple of routes on here took a fair amount of time and energy, leaving only enough time to do one route on the headland sea-cliffs. This brought the full sea-cliff flavour of abbing into a semi-hanging stance above an impenetrably navy ocean, and a fully British flavour of committing face climbing to get out, albeit on distinctly foreign knobbly pockety coralline limestone. It felt like a lonely but lovely lead, bringing the day's total to a small but intense 3 good routes.

Since I wasn't allow to buy this tiny concrete shed, I consoled myself by stealing some spring onions from the fields. Off to cook them now...

Malteser 5.

2011-01-17T09:23:00.001-08:00

Today we climbed slabs. Lots of slabs. Very slabby proper slabs. 30m with good gear at 15m and then a 15m runout full of 1/3 first joint razor rugosity slabs. Yup, those sort of slabs, well to start anyway. The warm up for the 15/15 runout route was an 18/12 runout route, with a crucial wire slot that crucial 3m higher. I placed a wire in this slot and tried to back it up with another one. I peered into the slot. A beady and belligerent eye peered back at me. Gulp. For some reason I panicked thinking it might be a giant spider, despite being a beady slit eye not a beady compound eye. This got me moving fast on the runout, but abseiling back down confirmed it was a firmly entrenched lizard. Hurrah. We also saw a turtle in the sea which was totally super-awesome and did not interfere with any gear placements.

Later we moved on to the slightly more conventional HT Gully slabs, which were even better. Shorter but more gear and a steeper, holdier angle. Truly a gem for girls who like crimpy slabs, and me. We basked, padded, and rocked over until our feet were aching. I attempted to round out the evening with a funky and bizarre roof climb, to give my feet a rest. It was all going swimmingly until cranking on a spikey jug round the final roof, when my heelhook slipped. "No problem", I thought, "I'll just swing free on the jug, chalk up, blow my fingers, and place heel better". Alas this cunning plan depended on the jug staying attached. It didn't, and neither did I. Was this punishment from the Slab Gods for attempting such a heretical angle of climb on The Day Of Slabbiness?? Or a reward from the Beef Olive Gods for completing last night's feast and increasing my mass even more??

Anyway, 5 great slab routes. Woohoo.

Malteser 4.

2011-01-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

Today, we climbed. AND, we did culture. But not too much culture, and only after a plentiful day swinging around on pocketed overhangs. First up was the escarpment of Victoria Lines (I'm pretty sure I've spelt this one right ;)), an ancient Hadrians-esque fortified ridge. Like Wieb Badu it is an undulating pockety white limestone, but somehow more fun despite it's relatively diminutive size. Route scale was gritstone-like, but skin-friendly knobbly pockets up wee bulging faces provided a jolly good jape. We were hosting an English lass for the day so mixed and matched and a good time was had by all. Although I finished on a slightly bum note, failing on a roofy prow thing due to an obdurately ill-fitting nut and subsequent terminal pump, and then bashed my thumbnail on the ground during the ensuing micro-tantrum. Ah well, another 3 good routes.

After dropping said lass off at the airport and using the impending flight departure as an excuse to further my Malta driving apprenticeship (which is coming on rather well except for my persistence in actually indicating), we headed to the fortified cathedral town on Mdida. This is indeed quite splendid, the creamy sandstone walls reflecting a delightful evening sun through the maze of narrow streets, and the ostentatious extravagance of the cathedral contrasting ironically with the relatively low-key status of the rest of the island. After all God expects nothing but the finest decor in his name... Here are a couple of photos I liked:

Finally we finished with a touristy but pleasant meal adjacent to Mdida, and I ticked the first of my 3 Malta food ticks - beef olives (the others being rabbit stew and ricotta & pea filled pastry nibbles). This however was no ordinary beef olive, it was colossal sauce-drenched LOG of a beef olive that would have Baldrick ineptly scribbling odes to it's girth. I am still burping up the taste.

And today, in honour of having a 3rd person to take photos, I broke out my £1.99 sports vest from Decathlon, as part of trying to get clothes that I don't overheat in but still stand out in photos. I'm sure you'll agree it's a winning combination with the tights...

Malteser 3.

2011-01-15T10:45:00.000-08:00

Today, we climbed some more. Ghar Lapsia (sp!). It was good. Better than yesterday. Sunnier, windier, better views, more dramatic routes - mostly short but action packed. The rock was more familiar Euro-lime, but also with a crimpy slab thrown in. OMG. Girls love crimpy slabs and so do I. As I've found out, Scotland doesn't really specialise in accessible slabs. Neither does Malta but it does have a few highly reputed areas, and while today's slabby section wasn't highly reputed, it provided plenty of stimulation on a delectable pitch with one bit of good gear half way up the initial 18m section... The steeper stuff was equally fun, with some sport, thready pseudo-sport, and good trad. All in all a fine day, with 6 more varied routes.

I saw two shedded snake skins, but no snakes. Also two oil rigs, but still no sense to the local driving.

I'm on the local soft drink, Kinnie. Waaay nicer than the beer. It tastes like 40% coke, 40% root beer, 20% angastora bitters. Unlike 100% stale ass-sweat.

Malteser 2.

2011-01-14T10:18:00.001-08:00

Today, we climbed. We went to Wieb Badu (sp!) which is a well reputed area. It was cool in the shade and warm in the sun. The giant India shaped fallen block was a cool feature. The crag itself was not as good as it looked from the long distance topo-shots, which turned had turned vaguely rambling slabs into sheer faces. Slightly dusty pockety rock made for odd gear but reasonable climbing. The sport routes were better fun, and some of the easier routes looked good too, but easy climbing is a waste of precious grade chasing time so I didn't bother ;). The sunnier side was shorter, steeper, oranger, juggier, more properly trad, and slightly more fun, and made for a good evening finale. It was warm enough for me to break out the stockings/shorts combo early ;).

5 routes, 2 sport and 3 trad, mostly cool. I was going to write about them but I can't be arsed....suffice to say it was a good warm up day.

We met some very cute kitties on the way back, I tried to steal one but they were too shy.

Malta feels pretty exotic compared to other places I've visited - lots of flat roofs, lots of chaotic buildings, lots of archaic churchs and monuments. It's cool.

The roads are still mental. It's lucky the island is small as the road markings and signposts make Spanish roads look informative.

The Maltese are friendly and do good English. They don't do lane discipline and don't seem to do supermarkets either, but the local shops are nice enough.

The local shandy is considerably better than the local beer.

Mmmm dinner was good. I am full of sausage. Sleep soon...

Malteser 1.

2011-01-13T09:47:00.000-08:00

Maltesers in Malta, the obvious combination. This will be a trip diary thing. It doesn't need explaining does it...

On the 5:30 am train to Manchester Airport. I've just snagged a strap on my rudebwoy jeans and torn a huge slit down the side. I might have to buy new jeans at the airport and I bet they only have normal ones BLEEUURGGHH. Also there is no wifi on this train which is bloody barbaric. On the plus side a DNBTV live DJ Trace mix is sounding pretty good through my Sennheiser headphones I liberated from British Airways decades ago when they still gave out good headphones (and when people still travelled by non-budget airlines ;)).

Later....borrowed a stapler at airport and fixed jeans - potential normal-jeans-wearing catastrophe averted. Good flight full - but not very full - of old people and obese people and sometimes both at once. Revised the guidebook thoroughly and feel asleep listening to an old skool hard trance mix from M-Zone.

Now in Malta. The weather is pleasant and warm. The island is reassuringly small. No-one indicates when driving and last minute lane changes are de rigeur. The guy I'm climbing with seems nice. He is Canadian, I am quite used to the accent from SC2 sessions with VULTURE and DRAKE. The hostel is pleasant enough and has wifi. The local beer is foul. It looks like dilute piss and tastes like it's been brewed with dishwater.

I am syked for climbing.

For fuck's sake, not again.

2011-01-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

2nd one in the space of a year (albeit the previous one was much older).

Beastly strong or just a good wanking hand?? Hmmmm.

Credit to Decathlon, they replaced it despite my lack of receipt. Back to my standard warm-ups then.

2011.0

2011-01-06T04:50:00.001-08:00

2010 felt like returning to some sort of normality - adjusting to life after DVTs, getting back into climbing after that time out, and settling into Scotland after a rough and rocky move to Glasgow. I'm still quite a way from the sort of normality I want to live in, including in climbing exploration, travelling, fitness, pro-activity, action, and social life. I'm intending 2011 to be a year of building determinedly on last year's foundations, and revelling in the pleasure and personal happiness that will bring.

So far I have completely failed to start doing that and have mostly been behaving in the opposite way to how I'd like to and what brings me pleasure. I'm hoping setting out some intentions will encourage me to have more focus...

Climbingwise my intentions are as follows:

1. Keep in touch with friends and partners better and organise myself more proactively.

2. Get to somewhere interesting over Easter (Pedriza? Alscace?), and over summer (Scandinavia? South Africa? Hatun Machay?).

3. Week long trip to Lewis, several days sea-cliffing in Skye, long weekend in Caithness, long weekend in Mull over winter/spring.

4. Get to Merionydd & Lleyn when weather is bolleaux in Scotland.

5. Keep exploring cool places in Scotland.

6. Explore more bouldering over winter: Torridon, Reiff, Skye, Mull, Inverness, Aberdeen, Trossachs, Northumberland, Carrock Fell, Gouther, St Bees.

7. Climb a few E5s.

8. Climb a few F7a+s.

9. Keep fit at gym, pool, and wall.

10. Lose 1 stone via the above.

I'll write more about some of these in following updates.

Critical Addendum

2011-01-06T04:36:00.000-08:00

Apparently a few people actually read this blog, because I've had a couple of comments that my last post was unduly focused on negative aspects of my climbing trip. This is neither the intention nor the case, as it was focused on how I can improve, and on that trip there were a couple of things to learn from slightly unusual mistakes. Nevertheless I take the point that it is equally wise to learn from what one did right (I'm sure I've posted as much in the past), so here's some things I did right:

Training well for the trip beforehand via gym, routes, and bouldering. This helped me feel good physically.

Resting well when I had gayflu, so although I was still recovering, I had enough energy to climb well.

Good choice of warm-up routes. I chose routes to the level I felt happy with that day, and chose ones that would not tire me out too much.

Having the right inspiration. I stuck to routes that inspired me the most, so was prepared to put more effort in, rather than just climbing for the sake of it.

Resting well between routes at the crag.

En-route resting. I made good use out of milking rests and shakeouts.

Waiting for the right conditions. A couple of times I waited for shade and took advantage of cooler conditions.

Confidence doing moves. I generally felt okay going for it and not too bothered about short slumps on the rope.

Pulling quite hard. I noticed myself, when the holds were positive enough, cranking quite hard.

Exploring different options when a crux seemed unfeasible. This got me up a couple of routes that could have gone awry otherwise.

There you go :)

Critical Analysis.

2011-01-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

4 days...

...in the Costa Blanca. Gosh I do like going away on climbing trips. After a few weeks of training and a very sedate week recovering from gayflu and christmassing, touching down in Spain in a sunnily warm yet expansively fresh evening felt almost like....coming home. Despite the familiar homogenity of the climbing and the lack of any particular loyality for the area, the prospect of a few days guaranteed intense climbing with a wide choice of crags had a sense of inherent rightness. I sometimes forget that while the Costa Blanca has a very "Rockfax-clutching Brits abroad" mundanity to it, it is also very good - including the scenery, the splendour of which transcends the mercifully out-of-season hellholes of Benidorm which it overlooks.

This time I got to explore 4 new crags and do some pretty good climbing in good company. I found that I failed to achieve my hopes but exceeded my expectations.

On the plus side I overcame my gayflu pretty quickly, indeed the first day climbing in the sun I could feel it fading away throughout the day. My finger held up fine, and I felt physically good after a few weeks training. My head wasn't bad either. And I did a few cool and challenging routes.

On the minus side, I failed on a few routes including some that were really inspiring, and I might benefit from pondering more over those. I know what I did right (training, pacing, rest, enthusiasm, route choice), but what could I have done better?

Route 25 F7a, Murla
What went wrong? Foot slipped off boulder problem start.
What could I have done? Not clipped the bolt so I could boulder it out, re-warmed up better, fought harder.
How can I improve that? Accept that a bouldery route really IS bouldery, and prepare better for unduly hard moves.

Ozzie F7a, Echo Valley
What went wrong? Didn't trust tiny polished pinch and slumped onto rope.
What could I have done? Given the move a try anyway as I was by the bolt, slapped my hand to remove chalk and sweat.
How can I improve that? Focus on trying anyway even if I'm sure I won't succeed, as there is nothing to lose.

Muca Muca F7a, Pego
What went wrong? I was midway through doing the crux move and just sagged off due to lack of precision as I was surprised I was actually doing it.
What could I have done? Realised I was climbing quite well and actually stayed focused.
How can I improve that? Have a wee think about how I am climbing at a particular time and adjust my expectations and focus accordingly.

Teto F7a(F7a+/b), Pego
What went wrong? Tried crux but couldn't get comfortable to clip and slumped on rope. Tried crux after and still too hard above.
What could I have done? Not much as I couldn't have flashed the whole crux, but I could have felt around more on the hold.
How can I improve that? Try to get into habit of remembering I can push myself further, and keep feeling around and trying moves.

Sesion De Noche F6c, Barranc L'Avern
What went wrong? Missed a hidden jug and slumped onto rope.
What could I have done? Felt around more, trusted I would have enough strength to keep going, tried move without jug.
How can I improve that? Try to get into habit of remembering I can push myself further especially if a rest is coming up, and keep feeling around and trying moves.

Mitja Via F6c+(F7a), Barranc L'Avern
What went wrong? Fell off one move from easy ground due to utter exhaustion.
What could I have done? Very little, I had pushed very hard through several on/off moves. It was close tho.
How can I improve that? Try to eek out a bit more mental focus, and probably keep breathing as well as chalking/shaking out.

In general: The two main things I can work on improving are realising how well I am climbing and staying focused on climbing well at that level, and trying improbable moves when I feel mentally comfortable doing so. So from this trip I can take the pleasure of what I did, and the potential of what I can do in future...

2010-12-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

The video below is based on a true story, well indeed it IS a true story.

I've always known how important conditions, friction, dry skin, chalk, etc etc are, but seldom have I experienced it with such shocking clarity. I was genuinely bemused and boggled how much of an effect it can have, even after all these years as a sweaty bugger.

This boulder problem is one I tried last time I was at the boulder, with a distinct crux making a steep crossover from a LH angled sloper/seam to a RH juggy pinch. This was shutting me down before but I was feeling pretty close to it when the evening had cooled down. This time I started off feeling very un-close to it, unless one defines close as "hugely distant with no chance of doing the bloody move". A source of much consternation given I'd planned to use the so-called -8'c to wrap this one up and move on elsewhere. But instead I had to wait and wait and wait and bank my hopes on it feeling easier once the evening cool returned.

Those hopes not so much came true as thundered down upon me and the boulder in a cataclysmic strike of cold air, truth, justice and bouldering righteousness. I don't think I'd fully grasped just how crucial the feel of the left hand-hold was until I went from woefully floundering at the move to being able to cruise it comfortably most goes, and thence did the problem first proper attempt. I swear as the sun set the problem must have dropped 3 grades in 15 minutes, for me it was from impossible to easy. And also "kinda okay" to "rather enjoyable".

Conditions and friction: dry hands + less sweat + less chalk needed + firmer skin on the rock texture + firmer rubber on the rock surface = a huge difference. It's SCIENTIFIC FACT, bitches.

P.S. Now I've got bloody gayflu and might not have anything to say before Spain.