Mini-Adventures #4

 
(Ab)normal service resumes??  They're getting mini-er and slightly less adventurous, but no less fun-spirited...

Fear Test, Rhoscolyn. A well-named wee route combining boldness with steepness, although thankfully not exactly at the same time. Hidden out of view just below me is an "alarmingly steep groove" that only partially lives up to that promise, having neither a good crack at the back nor enough angularity for good bridging at the front. It does have good holds which is quite welcome when fiddling in spaced and obtuse cams. Once this is dealt with, it is a matter of some elation popping through the steepest bulge out onto the biggest jugs and romping to the top. 

8b+ Reeve was trying to persuade me that this was a good option to warm-up and get inspired for Big Sunday E5 6a just to the left, equally alarming in angle but woefully lacking in any form of groove-based respite. Funnily enough 7b+ Fiend politely declined (okay, there was no politeness actually involved....).

Grazed And Confused, The Range. This is one of the mini-adventures of the year. One star, a completely wrong topo of an adjacent route, a hopeless description, and good potential to be lowered into the sea if you muff the crux. I was extremely close to backing off when the the last two factors saw me in a stable position but struggling to decide between a highly off-putting hard and protectionless roof above me or a highly offputting cramped traverse to swing blindly out in space to the right of me. Reeve was disarmingly cheery and encouraging on belay whilst I was sweating and stalling. Eventually the swing right was right and led to more comprehensible terrain and a feeling of "I'm not quite sure how I committed through that and ended up here but I'm bloody glad I did". 

This route had it all packed into a compact size: interesting line, variety of climbing, essential Gogarth "hanging slabs" and "shuffling between roofs", funky rock, good gear where needed, the lurking zawn below... 

The correct description: 

From the palatial ledges, step down and traverse right on an easy slab until it is possible to pull up a blocky feature to beneath the main roof. Make an increasingly cramped traverse right and a committing swing around the corner to pull up onto easier ground on the grey corrugated slab. Climb through the weakness in the overlap above to finish up the yellow slab.

The Range at sunset - obviously the fantastic light came out just after all the climbing was finished!! This is mostly looking towards Emmenthal Zawn, Wensleydale Walls, and The Fortress on the right. Lurking out of shot are Housetrap Zawn, The Old Steam Piano, Curious Yellow, Daichotomous etc etc.

Cilan Head, looking North from Mur Y Fulfran. Cilan Main is partly tucked out of view just behind the brighter white patch that's just right of centre. Zawn Two is the shaded buttress nearer by with the diagonal top. This was taken from the very amenable (tidal considerations aside - yes it really is that bad for swell!) MYF - Cilan Lite at it's litest!

Cantre'r Gwaelod, Mur Y Fulfran. Silence Of The Clams climbs the chimney to the left, I'm Not Swimming Now climbs the stepped corner to the right. This is a rather fine route for anyone who is a fan of cranking through slabby bulges, as it mostly involves cranking through slabby bulges. This, and a couple of other cool little routes that we did, was disarmingly normal and conventional, despite the feeling of general wildness and "not like anywhere else" that the area has. Given the suntrap location there might be more mini-adventures here this autumn who knoweth....

Shadows of hope.

 

The moments of light that shine through the darkness are real and wonderful, but sporadic.

"You seem to still be ticking off a lot of crags/routes on your list. Good work."

...said Biscuit. Oh how social media lies, even if you don't use cuntstagram. Show a few half-decent shots, write a couple of blog posts, celebrate the occasional success, and it all looks fine on the surface. People can assume it's representative, that it's all going well, a general trend of success and satisfaction. The bigger picture is of course bigger, and sometimes blander, and sometimes bleaker. 

The reality is ticking off very few routes of my list, and even fewer of the most inspiring and challenging ones. The shown successes are also real, but circumstance and self-timer means a disproportionate amount of showing off. There's not really a hidden iceberg of further successes beneath the photographic tip, instead it's a dark pool swirling with depression, disorganisation, de-confidence. 

Funnily enough this is not the sort of DMac style depression that gets you running up Ben Nevis on rest days. I've never encountered that sort of depression, I'd love to get hold of some. Okay so no amount of mental bleakness is going to overcome fluid mechanics and get me fell-running by pure magic, but obsessive training / physical activity depression?? Much better than the common-or-garden hiding-under-the-duvet-hoping-either-the-world-fucks-off-or-you-do depression. The latter really doesn't get you fit nor strong for climbing. And interval timer shots of someone staring at their phone for hours, desperately trying to summon up the courage to get in contact with someone or make a plan to get away, doesn't get you many "likes" on FB....

"It IS supposed to be fun, climbing...." 

...said Reeve. And indeed it is fun. Lots of fun. Type 1 or below fun (even if it sometimes takes a bit of Type 1.5 to overcome to get there), that's why I go on Red Walls and The Range, not hanging off bolts at The Tor, nor winter fucking mountaineering (the latter being Type 3 fun - the only pleasure coming from finally stopping it and forgetting the horror).

The problem comes when a lot of fun comes from the challenge, and the challenge is is a huge motivator and also big and scary and that's quite off-putting for the mind, and when the mind is as dysfunctional as mine can be, well, the mental processes are Not Fun - trying to get to grips with the fun is not fun. The desire is very strong and very authentic and gets proven so on the rare occasions I get to grips with those challenges and pull through them. Almost inevitably no matter how daunting the prospect or tortuous and convoluted the process to get there, the actual climbs and experiences that I've somehow ended up fixating on are really wonderful. But fuck me it would be easier if they were easier.... But then I wouldn't want to do them as much. FFS.

So this somewhat tedious post (yes, I'd much rather be writing about sandy troughs, but I am allowed to express these issues, just as you're allowed to "smash" the back button on your browser so quickly it counts as fast twitch muscle training, at any rate I'm hoping that expelling some of this discordant mental shit will be as relieving as when my bowels expel their discordant bacterial shit at higher and scarcely less readable velocity) bookends the summer with the more positive glimmers of hope I initially felt. It's been up and down, there's definitely been some good stuff, and definitely some bad stuff, most of it inside my head. I'm just keeping plodding on, trying to stay focused when I can, trying to stay accepting when I can't, trying to keep moving because that all adds up in the end. 

Moonboard? Manorboard!

 

Power-to-weight is a constant battle. Too little of the former, too much of the latter. The latter I can do very little about as the DVTs prevent easy CV exercise and the b0rked digestion (and healthier diet to try to alleviate it) simultaneously gives me lower energy without any weight reduction. I once asked an established climbing coach I met at the crag about the general issue, and the short answer was "It's fine to be really heavy, you just have to be really fucking strong too", and the disclaimer "The trick is to get strong without getting injured". I haven't booked a masterclass quite yet. 

But yes the former I can at least try to do something about and maybe I should try a bit harder instead of spinning the ledge shuffling and esoteric bouldering and quick easy redpoint plates. Actually, I have lost a couple of kilos this summer (a dozen to go...), and this is almost entirely due to some hefty days out combining ledge shuffling with inimical walking. One edge of this sword is a tiny improvement in fitness and lightness, the other edge is a severe blunting of any power. Hauling my carcass up to Dow for two 6A+ moves, or a full day trudging back and forth around The Range doesn't actually get you strong, who would have thought it?? And when the buffer between my sport / bloc ability and my trad desires often feels as thin as a midge's scrotum, there's something to heed there.

A while ago I realised how dire the situation was that I was a solid grade and a half below my redpointing at this time last year, despite not having the restrictive nonsense of a spring lockdown to crawl back from. By chance the revamped Awesome Stockport bouldering room has a vastly better selection of holds and problems on nice angles, the same terrible decor and ear-vomittingly awful dad rock soundtrack, AND a new Moonboard with wooden holds, which lured me in with promises of a convenient skin-friendly power top-up. 

Naturally I took to this like a cat to water, although admittedly it was as much an issue of the constant "so farcical it's gone beyond hilarious and back around into tediously unfunny" pseudo-grading, the common terrible setting by morons who should be blocked off the MB app, and the often entirely useless feet-follow-hands style which given the larger holds on the easier problems reduces most situations to neanderthal lurching between relative jugs whilst pretending that "finger strength" and "core tension" are not relevant things to be trained. But at least the app makes it vaguely easy to sift through all the dross that actually gets in the way of training to find the occasional sandbag gem that might actually get me stronger. 

After a few sessions moaning my way through the 40° steepness I didn't feel any weaker, so en route back to Gogarth for some Red Walls trough squirming I stopped off at Manor Crag which has always looked fairly aesthetic for limestone. Given the angle of the place I had initial hopes that it could be a good test to see if the Moonboard had given me any hint of a power top-up, but on first viewings I remembered this same angle is my definite anti-style and resigned myself to merely getting a workout failing on everything, and at least it's more scenic than the AWMB. 

But then this happened....

....which was quite a shock to me. I know, climber in "trains a bit on a steep board and then does okay on steep board-ish style climbs" shocker, hold the fucking press. Actually in terms of tackling challenges, this is one of my very best bouldering days out ever, it didn't even feel like a training day because it was over so quick. A few notes: Jawa I missed the flash simply because I forgot my planned sequence and where to bump my hand to. Patch's Crack I missed the flash because I didn't seat the hand jam right a couple of times. Cracked Roof I missed the flash because I didn't get my thumb fully in the jam first time - all very close things!! All very good fun too.

Anyway recently I went back on the Moonboard a couple of times, there's a Font """""6B+""""" that I've tried at least a few times each session for 6 sessions now. I'm almost close. Almost. 

And thus it begins...

T = 0

I'm sat on a slope of tumbling tussocks, 20m above the sea, 70m below the crag top, looking out at a rising trench of steep silt with little sign of protection nor security, and I'm terrified. Unusually, rarely, I don't want to be here. A non-trivial percentage of my brain wants to scramble out and haul up the ab rope. My confidence has been very vague this summer, I'm fed up of being stressed and scared - not of the climbing, but of my own mental fragility. But....maybe I could just pull on the first holds, see if I can move...

T +1.2hrs

I'm sat on a small pedestal at the top of the silt trench, anchored in to abstract ironmongery hammered into dust, and I feel sick with fear. Well, partly fear and partly my guts playing up after wolfing down an emergency egg breakfast. The fragility is still there - if I struggled to cope with the easy intro pitch, how can I cope with the main pitches?? Maybe it's best to finish up an easier version, maybe I could cope with that. Except I'd have to do it all again at some point in the future. But....the next "poor rock" section looks easier, and I can see some resting spots to aim for...

T +1.4hrs

I've just pulled onto a thin wall, out of the steep looseness, and onto terrain that intimidates me just as much - sheer and smooth and supposedly sustained. But....I'm hanging on okay, I'm trusting small finger flakes, small foot edges, a good small nut next to me....I'm no longer scared....I'm curious, I'm inspired, I'm becoming happy....

( T +2.5hrs - the above photo )

T +4hrs

I'm sat on a dusty crag top, belaying, diligently taking the the ropes at constantly contrasting paces to best protect my partner on the bewilderingly weaving top pitch. I'm mostly.....surprised. Surprised I could cope with the initial reluctance, especially surprised I could transmogrify from that fear and nervousness to genuine pleasure in the middle pitch. Pagan isn't the hardest route I've done (nor the hardest this year, nor the hardest on South Stack), but it is one of the hardest that I've ever climbed when I've been so lacking in confidence - confidence being one of the essential pre-requisites (along with a light touch, trad nouse, and a lot of cams, rather than physical prowess) for this sort of terrain. I'm still not quite sure how it happened...

Expansive.

The mildly horrifying ""E3 5b"" first pitch. 50% of the climbing on this pitch you could have a nasty accident on.

The completely fine and normal first belay. "Yes we could sling together the 3 pegs in siltstone and abseil off into the sea to escape".

~~{§}~~

Meanwhile, a few weeks earlier....

As chance would have it, I started the Red Wall campaign nicely early this year, scarcely a few days after the bird ban was off. Gogarth South became my constant literary companion...

I've always particularly loved the second paragraph :)

Looking down to Left Hand Red Wall, about to do Left Hand Red Wall. Another traumatic start off the tussocky ramp!

LHRW was a stern reacquaintance with the terrain, but pretty good. But not as good as Television Route which was bloody marvellous, surely one of the best single pitches in the whole UK. The tricky climbing on this 45m route starts at about the 3m mark and eventually eases off at the 43m mark, and on the way takes in a massive variety of steep, committing, wobbly, technical and constantly interesting climbing. World class.

Incidentally the description is quite inaccurate so have a proper one:

Television Route E4 5c *** 45m

Start by the two loose spikes. Just to the right is a groove, follow it, passing a few rusty relics from the original aided ascent. Surmount a loose bulge to gain a better crack and step right to an improvement in rock quality and more bolt heads. Continue on easier ground with little gear to an overhung red niche in the groove, and make crux moves around the right edge of the overhang via a "thank god" jug. Move up to the where the groove steepens again, and step right to a rib and spike holds, then trend left and finish up the continuation groove, past the last remnants of scrap metal.

However there weren't enough sandy troughs on TR, so I had to go back and do Last Of The Summer Wine, a lesser-rated but quite quintessential Red Wall experience, as seen below:

"Moon cheese" according to Andy McBiscuit. Mars cheese according to me!!

The usual view of the usual situation.

Recovering after the "very exciting" start to pitch 3 - right limbs on overhanging flanges of quartz, left limbs on fins of silt. All quite emotional. Above this it was a typically brilliant finish up steady steepness - the final straits of these routes are invariably euphoric.

~~{§}~~

So, if everyone can forgive a bit of numerical masturbation, and very much taking into account the start of this post where I fully explicated my weakness, that makes it 5 out of 5 successes on  Red Wall E4s (the others being Cannibal and Rapture Of The Deep), and 9 out of 9 successes overall on South Stack (adding in Hysteresis on Mousetrap, Dogs Of War and 93,000,000 Miles on Yellow Wall, and Natalie in Natalie Zawn). I will aim to do Kalahari Highway to get to a nice round number and have something on Castle Helen, but of course the post-bird-ban stuff has been a priority recently. What that all means I don't really know (especially since one generally steps onto these crags with enough in hand that failure is unlikely, or were it to happen one is unlikely to be around to blog about it afterwards!), but given my passion for the area it's something worth celebrating??

Thanks to Jodie and Jordan for accompanying me on these shenanigans.